


Cutter

by Jewelle32



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Angst, Assisted suicide (reference), Caring friend Robert, Cringe-worthy Chas/Gordon relationship, Depression, F/M, Gang Rape, Hurt/Comfort, Incest, Love Triangle, M/M, Mental Illness, Multi, Prostitution, Protective Pyscho Uncle Cain, Protective stepfather Paddy, Rape Aftermath, Rape Recovery, Repressed Memories, S&M, Scars, Self-Harm, Self-Loathing, Stupid annoying oblivious selfish Mum Chas, Suicide Attempts, Torture, Underage- Non-con, Unrequited Love, child rape disclosure, emotional child abuse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-08
Updated: 2017-03-12
Packaged: 2018-05-19 04:13:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 28
Words: 91,821
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5953200
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jewelle32/pseuds/Jewelle32
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Family Reunion</p><p>Aaron is a violent and troubled young man who hurts himself deliberately. But why? When his father who he hasn't seen for 7 years suddenly turns up in the English village where he's staying with his mother, his self-harm escalates with potentially fatal consequences.</p><p> </p><p>Just a stab in the dark...have to admit that I haven't watched Emmerdale regularly for years now – what with being out of the country making it hard but Aaron's story caught my eye and captured my heart. Poor Aaron! Apologies in advance for errors not following the series – I'm going to write my own interpretation so may change some details.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Family Reunion

He felt numb as he got in that shower and turned it on. Not even sure what he was going to do, he regarded the razor blade sitting on the soap-shelf with dull eyes. He didn't feel anything in his body except for his fingers itching to grab it and start tearing and ripping at his skin. He longed for the relief that would come with the pain. The more it hurt, the more he bled, the better.  
He resisted the urge to just do that but it wasn't easy.  
His Dad had come back and with him the memories sweeping over him like a tsunami that he couldn't withstand. It didn't matter that he'd managed to push them away. No warning – no chance to prepare mentally – just suddenly like that he was there, right in his face. Greeting him warmly and calling him son. And the worst thing was that he acted like nothing had happened. Had even said that he had come back deliberately to patch things up with him. What? After 7 years? His Mum too didn't have a clue and he could see how happy she's been to see him now that she was on her own and needed a man to lean on. He'd only recently forgiven Chas for leaving him with Gordon all those years ago. But he'd made her pay when they'd been reunited. Something else that proved how worthless and bad he was.  
Then there was his Uncle Cain. At first he'd thought Cain hated him – he'd been a handful when he'd arrived – caused all sorts of trouble, gone to prison, he'd deserved the discipline he'd lashed out on him. But since the truth about him cutting himself, his Uncle had started treating him differently and Aaron saw that he did care about him after all in his own way. He could see him always on the lookout for signs that his self-harming was back and he spoke with a soft voice mostly to him these days like he was easy to startle or crazy. Would he be upset if he wasn't there any more? His Mum could be with his father and everyone would be happier. Besides, he couldn't stay around when he'd heard that Gordon planned to buy the village pub. He'd said that he had cancer but Aaron had told him that he couldn't care less and turned down his offer to give him a share of the pub. Aaron would rather raid the warehouse like he planned to get the money than take anything from that man. His Mum looked at him in shock and he knew what she was thinking – why couldn't he forgive the past?  
If she only knew.  
It was tempting to just take that razor and let it do its work on his skin. Because that was what it felt like Like he wasn't charge of it like with those people who tried to contact ghosts by letting them write messages through them using their hands.  
He shook his head and wiped the tears furiously away with his fists. These days, it always seemed like his body betrayed him and his eyes were always leaking when he didn't want them to.  
He remembered Robert's touch and his kisses though. He still couldn't understand what he'd seen in him – cheated on Chrissie with him. Back then, he wasn't sure whether he was straight or gay and had been fighting his feelings.  
Robert had eventually blackmailed him and betrayed him. Knowing that he was bad for him only seemed to increase the attraction.  
He still thought about him though and sometimes fancied that his ex still had feelings for him. He knew it was impossible though because no-one who knew him could ever really care about him. He was dirty, filthy and disgusting. He was bad and violent, he'd done too many bad things, hurt too many people. Not Paddy, his mother, his uncle and especially Robert really cared about him. They couldn't.  
The world would really be a better place without him. And most importantly of all, he wouldn't have to see his father with his mother again just like when he was little. Before she left and things went so bad.  
The way his father used to make him feel had struck him in full force yesterday when he clapped eyes on him. He was badly trying to get rid of the feeling but was failing miserably.  
He let he water run even after it turned cold. Must be 30 mins by now but he wasn't counting.  
He just wanted to feel clean again. The counselling he was getting after they found out about his self-harming had helped but now he was back to square one again. His father didn't even have to say anything – just seeing him again was enough to cast him back down to that scared little boy he used to be. A combination of hopelessness and helplessness mixed with savage self-loathing.  
Terrified by his threats about what would happen if he 'wasn't good even it didn't happen all the time but the threat was enough. Hardly ever in fact but now he could see that he got really punished for being bad when the women in his Dad left his life. He didn't realise at the time but now looking back on it through adult eyes...  
And he hadn't been good despite his father's threats – it was like they drove him to do the opposite. He'd rebelled instead and stolen, taken drugs, lied and cheated. He had even lashed out at Sandra and hit her when she threatened to leave. He'd looked in fear afterwards towards his father who had that look on his face. At 13, he knew what that look meant, how his Dad planned to punish him.  
Never hit a woman or those smaller than you, he'd always lectured.  
But she'd left anyway. The only good thing was that his Dad had chucked him out of the house . That was his only punishment but he'd been relieved at the time that was all it was.  
Oblivious to the water running over him that was now freezing cold, he regarded the metal blade of that razor again. Its metal blade gleamed in the sun that shone through the high corner window of the bathroom.  
Without a second thought, he grabbed it. He almost grinned with relief as his hand started to used it as if by its own will without him thinking about it.  
Old habit.  
He slashed his forearms and felt a savage feeling of relief at the sharp pain and seeing his blood whirling down the plughole. It was just the start – he was psyching himself up for the grand finale.  
At least the could feel something from the pain and sight of his lifeblood draining away.  
But now someone was banging on the bathroom door.  
'You in there, Aaron?' He heard his uncle demand.  
Aaron froze and didn't answer while the blade hovered over his left wrist.  
'What are you doing in there? You OK?'  
Damn him. He's always on full alert now for another suicide attempt from me, watching out for signs of me hurting myself even though he knew he'd been a lot better recently. Aaron hated that look on his uncle's face that resembled a hunter considering how to approach a wounded but wild and dangerous animal.  
'Fine!' He answered as cheerily as he could.  
But something in his voice must have alerted Cain.  
'You cutting yourself in there? Better not be!'  
Aaron had just slashed himself savagely on the wrist. This was good – it hurt like hell - more than the other shallow cuts. After warming up, he started to go deeper now.  
Then, with a hint of worry, 'Aaron?'.  
'Leave me alone!' Angry now at being hassled, Aaron slashed the other wrist. Now he could see his pain on the outside of his body in his blood and the self-inflicted scars all over him and he felt a blissful sense of emptiness like he always did after a good cutting session. The hurt deep inside him only became visible when it left him.  
He felt calm. He didn't realise what he was actually feeling was faint.  
'Aaron!' Cain was still banging the door and rattling the lock. 'Let me in!'  
'I'll...be...out in a minute.' He replied but his voice sounded faint to his own ears.  
With that,the world grew black and he slumped – no – fell onto the shower floor. Lucky he didn't fall through the glass shower door and break that too.  
Barely aware now, he distantly heard the bathroom door crash open and he closed his eyes. Not caring about anything and just slip off into the dark was bliss. He could leave all the pain behind him and just drift off softly into the darkness...

'You stupid, selfish little bastard!' Someone was yelling into his face and shaking him. 'What did you do? What the fuck did you do to yourself now?'  
'Get off me...Fuck off!' He tried to sit up but found himself too weak so he slumped back against the wall. The fact that he was naked in front of his uncle hadn't hit yet.  
Cain bandaged up the second wrist with a bandage from the first aid kit Chas always kept in the bathroom cabinet.  
'Come on, get up...'  
'Don't...'Aaron started to panic and struggle weakly when he realised that he had no clothes on.  
'Don't worry, I'm not looking at you.' Cain snapped and wrapped a bath-towel around his hips. He wasn't to know his Dad made him strip in front of him, right before...  
Aaron shook his heavy head to stop that memory.  
'We're going into your bedroom, OK? I'm going to put you to bed.'  
'I'm not tired...'  
'Tough.'  
'Mum...'  
'She's not coming back until later. She's with your Dad in the pub, catching up.'  
Aaron couldn't stop a little shiver at the mention of Gordon because that was how he thought of him in his head, never Dad. Unseen by him, Cain noticed his reaction and narrowed his eyes to file the detail away for later.  
'Don't know what I'm going to tell her about this...' His uncle grumbled as he supported him and helped him into his bedroom and sat him down on the bed. 'When it seemed like the counselling was helping and you were doing it less...'  
'Don't tell her!'  
Cain reached into the chest of drawers and tossed him a pair of clean pyjamas – for Aaron these consisted of a T-shirt and a pair of light trousers. 'Put these on.' He ordered and turned his back.  
Aaron tried – he did but he was weak and his uncle had to help him put on the T-shirt.. He grumbled bad-naturedly the whole time.  
'Get in.' He lifted up the edge of the quilt.  
Aaron looked up at him quizzically. 'I ain't 10 any more, you know!'  
'Pity you still act like it.' He snapped. 'I said 'get in'!' And even though Aaron wasn't a teenager any more, he obeyed.  
Aaron rolled his eyes and slowly got in.  
Cain even pulled the cover up and pulled it up in his chin. Tucking him in.  
'You're lucky you didn't slit an artery. You ever try to kill yourself again and I'll fucking kill you. Don't you know what it would do to your Mum?'  
Aaron only looked up at him in confusion at the apparent contradiction in his threat.  
'Stay there. I'll go and make you a hot drink -something sweet. Sugar's supposed to be good for people in shock.'  
'But I'm not in..'  
But Cain was gone, already out the door.  
Aaron sighed and stared at the pink and white English rose flower-pattern on the wall-paper. He lived in a small Yorkshire village in England and the décor was sweetly, sickeningly old-fashioned.  
He hated it.  
He sighed and turned over to face the wall and closed his eyes.  
He must have drifted off because it seemed like a mere second later his Uncle was pulling on his sleeve and telling him to turn around.  
'Made you some hot chocolate. Even found some marshmallows to put on top like you used to like when you came to visit when you were small.'  
'Thanks. Any booze in there?' Aaron was touched and surprised to learn that Cain still remembered that – it was all so long ago but he didn't want to show it.  
'No.' Cain slapped his shoulder and frowned as he pretended to be angry.  
Aaron sat up slowly and took a few sips of the hot liquid. Sucked up some of the white and pink marshmallows on top too.  
'Now, you going to tell me what's going on with you? Did you really want to kill yourself?'  
Aaron looked up at him over the rim of the steaming hot drink. 'I...I don't know exactly.' He answered honestly. 'Are you going to tell Mum?' He asked, it was his biggest worry.  
Cain sighed. 'Well, you've got two bandaged up wrists and the bathroom's door's broke. Don't exactly think I can keep it from her but maybe I can fix the door. Your wrists though...I don't know...'  
'I can wear long sleeves and hide them. Don't say anything and spoil things for her. She's so happy right now with Gor..with my Dad.'  
'If you don't want me to then you better tell me the truth. Why are you cutting now? Does it have something to do with your Dad coming back?'  
Aaron stared at him. One thing his uncle wasn't was stupid and he had to remember that. He noticed everything.  
Taking another sip, he replied, ' Yes...I mean maybe.' Aaron always found it hard to escape the relentless, piercing gaze of his mother's brother when he was looking to get information out of him.  
'Maybe? Why?'  
'I mean probably not. I don't know why I wanted to again.' Aaron's voice was fading and his eye-lids felt increasingly heavy.  
Cain took away the mug that was almost empty.  
'By the way I put something better than booze in it. Laced your hot chocolate with valium. For the pain, of course.'  
Aaron grinned because now he really did feel like he was walking on air. His pain and seeing Gordon again and all his worry just seemed to fade away.  
'Now go to sleep.' Was the last thing he heard his uncle say before he lost consciousness. He thought he felt Cain lightly ruffle his hair just before he crossed over but he told himself that he must have imagined it.

…  
Aaron woke up and glanced blearily at the green numbers of the clock on the wall. 0536. Then he noticed a shape in front of his door and with a start, he realised it was Cain. He could even hear him snoring gently.  
He rolled over onto his other side to face the wall and fell asleep again. When he woke a few hours later, his uncle was gone and he could tell himself that he had dreamt or imagined what he'd seen before. But he still felt as depressed as before when he remembered that his father was back in his life and when he saw his mother and father together and laughing about something from across the road when he went out to get some milk, he felt even worse than before. Gordon had his hand on the small of his mother's back and she was tossing her hair and giggling at his joke. Aaron knew the signs when she was flirting. Then Gordon saw him and tapped Chas on the shoulder and they both looked at him.  
When his father waved at him, Aaron immediately forgot all about the milk and hurried back home without looking back.

The first thing he did when he got inside was go his bedroom and take out the penknife he kept in his desk.

He avoided his bandaged wrists this time and plastered up arms and slashed viciously at his chest, added to the scars there. He told himself he didn't want to die – just wanted to get the pain out of him and that he knew how deep he could go.  
After all, he had several years of practice.  
Feeling the blood trickling down his shirt he lay down on his bed and rested a while before he started all over again.

…


	2. Self-inflicted/Conflicted

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Umm… yeah...so I can't find any full episodes outside the UK so I'm just guessing what happened in-between. Sorry if I get anything wrong but I did say in the previous chapter I might deliberately change some details x  
> If you like this story or even if you don't, please review or comment! Any feedback helps me become a better writer X Thanks and enjoy!

It was the pain on his chest that woke Aaron up but he didn't mind. In fact he welcomed the throbbing like an old friend he hadn't seen again because it helped him forget that his father was here now and it was better than the other pain inside that wasn't physical. He knew deep down that he should be worried because this pain was different from the other times he’d slashed himself, it had a more urgent quality to it. Also- he’d had two serious cutting sessions in less than 24 hours and he'd never had two so close together, preferring to give himself some healing time in-between. His uncle had caught him during the first and put a stop to it, patched him up and then put him to bed like he was a kid again. Looking back, Aaron wasn’t even sure if he’d really intended to kill himself by slicing his wrists open or because he just wanted to increase the pain. He glanced down at himself and grimaced at the dry blood on his shirt – if his Mum or Cain found it…He winced as he peeled it off his chest – the blood had made it sticky and then he stuffed it into his desk drawer. She wouldn't look there for his dirty laundry.  
Unlikely Chas would even notice if he'd kept it on, she was so over the moon engaging in a whirlwind romance with his father. Besides, she was spending her nights and most of her days at Gordon’s B & B after he upgraded to a double. The thought made him sick –literally- and he bent over to retch, barely able to stop himself in time when only a few years ago all he had wanted most in the world was for his parents to stop screaming at each other and love each other like they used to. Torn between wanting his Mum to be happy – she’d only recently got over a mental breakdown and wanting to punish his dad and get him out of his life forever, he didn't know what else to do other than leave one way or another. Run away like he always did. But he didn't want to go and start over again – why should he? It was his Dad who should be made to leave…Yet whoever he'd done to him, he made Chas happy- anyone could see that and a big part of Aaron didn't want to spoil that.  
His heart began thumping heavily in chest when heard the key in the lock, praying it wasn't Gordon. He wouldn't have put it past him to ‘borrow’ the key from Chas’s handbag to get to him. Even though he wasn't eight years old anymore and knew he could take him on, he couldn't stop that old fear of his father from riding up inside him and he hated himself for his weakness. Aaron didn't think he had the guts to come there after he'd warned him to stay away but you never knew. However, it was just his mother who appeared though to greet him cheerily. He could tell she had just been with him by her sparkling eyes and rosy cheeks.   
‘Hi. What have you been up to? Your Dad’s just booked us a table in swanky restaurant in town tonight. He’d be made up if you came.’  
Aaron scowled deeply at her hopeful expression. ‘Tell him sorry, I can't. Doing stuff later on,’ he replied sullenly.  
She frowned sceptically and he hated to see all the air go out of her balloon. But he couldn't help it- no way was he going to sit there with that man and let him buy him off just like he’d tried to before.  
‘What stuff?’ She demanded as she put her bag of groceries on the table. She was still keeping him fed at least. ‘You better not be doing anything dodgy.’   
Aaron thought of their talk of to robbing the warehouse and felt a moment of guilt. But it didn't last long.  
‘Um…just going to meet Robert and the others for a drink.’ Who was he kidding? Actually, he hardly had a social life anymore – depression could do that to you. He'd been too busy self-harming.  
‘That so?’ Her voice rose. ‘And you think getting blathered with your mates is more important than seeing the father you haven’t seen for 7 years? Anyway, I don't like you hanging around with that boy. Not after what he did to you.’  
Isn’t nothing compared to what my ‘Dad’ did, he thought sourly but didn't say out loud.  
‘Told you, I can't..’ He replied stubbornly while the searing pain in his chest seemed to get stronger. He didn't mind, it helped him focus on what was important in the here and now.  
‘And that's your final answer, is it?’ Her dark eyes flashed with anger same as his often did.   
He nodded before she bore down on him to shake him by the shoulders. ‘I won't let you ruin this for me, I won't.’ She spoke more to herself than to him. ‘He told me the things you said to him in the Woolpack in front of everybody. Like how you didn't care he’d had cancer and that you turned down his offer to help. You really upset him.’  
‘I told him I don't need his money! I'd rather do it on my own.’  
She shook her head sadly and her furious expression relaxed as she let him go to sink down on the sofa and bury her head in her hands. Making him feel as guilty as hell.   
‘Why are you so hateful? I know he wasn't a perfect father and he was strict with you but he needed to be! You had problems…Were out of control…’  
‘Yeah?’ He snapped back. ‘Why does it always come back to me and my ‘problems’?’.  
Ever wonder why I had them, Mother?  
‘Sweetheart,’ she went over to take his face in her hands while his eyes scooted away as he tried to avoid meeting hers. ‘Can't you just forgive him for whatever he did? At least try...For me.’ She tilted his head up gently so he fell into her gaze and he couldn't resist those almost black eyes, the same colour as his own and all he wanted to do was protect her. He'd only just got her back and he loved her so much.  
He ducked his head and nodded and she screeched in joy and pecked his cheek before she let him go.  
‘OK.’ He only said it to make her happy, not sure if he could actually stick it. If his father had only just hit him – it would have been easy. But the other things he did…he didn't want to think about them.  
He got up and the world seemed to sway.  
‘You OK?’ He heard his mother ask as if from the end of a long, dark tunnel.  
His whole skin seemed to be burning, itching – the heat spreading out from his most recent self-inflicted cuts that were already stabbing over. He knew this shouldn't be happening, he'd never felt like this before after seriously cutting himself. Something was seriously wrong and he swayed on his feet a little, prompting a worried look from his mother but what surprised him the most was how little he cared.  
‘Yeah, just tired, that's all. Going up to take a nap.’  
‘So you'll reconsider about meeting him tonight instead? He told me he only wants to talk to you, to explain things..’  
Yeah, good luck with that, he thought and almost laughed out loud but nodded reluctantly.  
‘We’ll meet at the B &B at 7 and he’ll drive us there.’   
‘Fine.’ He didn't really hear her as he nodded and made his way up the stairs.  
The pain was getting worse and now his head was pounding too. When he reached the top of the stairs, he swayed a little before he grabbed the bannister just in time to stop himself from falling down them..  
‘Thanks, love. He’ll be really happy about this! See you later!’ He heard his mother call out happily before she slammed the door shut behind her.  
He grimaced and briefly considered going downstairs to get painkillers and drink a gallon of water, he was so thirsty suddenly. Or go in Cain’s room and find his secret supply of drugs but he simply didn't have the energy. The fire blazing from within him had just reached his throat and it hurt and it had become difficult to swallow but he decided to just go to bed, telling himself he would only sleep for a couple of hours then get up and drink some water and take some medicine. But it was longer than that after he virtually passed out and it was only his phone ringing that woke him up.  
‘Where were you?’ The caller on the line demanded harshly. ‘We had to leave without you.’  
‘Mum… I didn't feel so good… I fell asleep.’  
‘Don't lie to me, you just didn't want to come, did you? We waited 10 mins at the B&B like we said then we had to go because you weren't answering your phone. I suggesting coming round to the house to get you but your father stopped me – he said he didn't want to put pressure on you or force you to come…Besides, he said we would have missed our reservation and this place is very high in demand.’  
He's not my father! At least not in any of the ways that matter! ‘I'm sorry, Mum. I'm not lying! I did fall asleep! And..’ He groaned as the fiery pain from where his latest cuts were made itself known with vengeance.  
‘Stop lying to me.’ She slurred and Aaron realised for the first time that she was really quite drunk. ‘You did this to hurt him, didn’t you? When are you going to stop punishing him?’  
Just then, Aaron heard Gordon calling her back and he instinctively flinched at the sound of the man’s voice.  
‘I've got to go. I just wanted to let you know….her voice faded and there were kissing noises and she giggled as presumably his father nuzzled her neck and put his arms around her, pulling her away from the phone. Just like that, she forgot to be angry with her son.. Aaron could just see them in his head and the unwelcome vision almost had him reaching for his old penknife that he now kept hidden under his mattress since Cain caught him cutting yesterday. Then Gordon said something in Chas’ ear that made her squeal with delight. ‘Until Wednesday? Harrowgate? You really mean it?’ Before she turned back to the receiver. ‘Your Dad’s just surprised me with a holiday in Harrowgate. He’s booked a 5-star hotel in the centre and we’re going there now.’ Extended dirty weekend, more like, Aaron thought with disgust. Back on Wednesday – that was 5 days. Then her voice become muffled but he could still hear more smacky sounds of kissing and he shrieking with excitement, ‘Thank-you, thank-you’ to his father who replied, ‘It was the least I could do after everything I put you through.’  
Aaron resisted the urge to slam the phone down as long as he could but when his mother came back on the line and told him, ‘Your Dad says he loves you and hopes you'll agree to meet him when we get back. You will, won't you?’, he pushed the disconnect button and slammed it back in its charging cradle like it was on fire.  
Then he stared at it for a long time, half expecting her to ring him back but after 20 minutes and she never did, he turned over onto his side. He knew he should get up and drink something but he just felt too weak. Part of him knew he was really sick but he found that he didn't care. Dying like this would be easy compared to trying to kill himself. He couldn't even do that right.  
The pain rose up again inside him all over his body – worse than before if that was possible and he passed quietly into the dark.  
…  
Robert had been thinking of Aaron all day long especially from what he'd heard about his unexpected reunion with his dad which didn't go well according to those present. Robert had never heard his ex mention Gordon and he guessed there was bad blood there but Aaron had enough problems without him bringing up the past so he never asked. Anyway, he'd always had the sense that Aaron just wanted to forget all about his disruptive childhood.  
Robert had wanted to check that he was OK about his Dad being back when he clearly wasn't and any added stress could easily push him back into self-destructive behaviour patterns. He knew that Aaron had self- esteem issues and considered himself to be a bad person when Robert had done his best to try to convince him that he was good deep down despite the bad choices he had made in the past. Lots of people had, including his mother and stepfather but they had all failed.  
Robert didn't know exactly what Aaron’s dad had done to him but he had always suspected some kind of physical and/ or emotional abuse. Why else would Aaron hate himself so much? Chas had told him that things got so bad between him, his Dad and his stepmother Sarah, that Gordon had just chucked him out of the house one night.  
It had been two days since Aaron’s confrontation with his father and Aaron hadn't answered any of his calls. He thought about going round there but then his fiancée and his work got in the way. He told himself that Aaron could contact him if he needed to.  
Robert would live to regret his decision because when he did finally manage to get away and let himself in (Aaron had given him a key) he found him curled up in bed unresponsive to his frantic efforts to wake him. Laying there with a flushed face, cracked lips, a weak pulse when he felt it over his bandages combined with shallow and rapid breathing. His skin was burning like it was on fire.  
‘No, no! Don't do this to me!’ Robert cried out in dismay. He didn't know what was wrong with him but he knew he was very, very sick. With a great deal of effort, Robert forced himself to calm his mind enough to dial 999 for an ambulance.  
When it arrived after about 40 mins they let him get in. Robert held his hand as they hooked him to a drip. They asked him if he knew anything – had Aaron taken anything? How long had he been sick? Did Robert remember seeing him with any other symptoms? Of course, he couldn't help them much other than it looked like he'd slashed his forearms and wrists and he felt obliged to tell them about his habitual self-harming.Then they phoned the hospital ahead, using their incomprehensible paramedic code but he picked up a few things, ‘severe dehydration’ and ‘high fever’ being one of them.  
Robert just held his hand and willed him to get well.   
….  
After they rushed him off for urgent examination, Robert was not allowed to go with him. So he sat in the waiting room and considered who he should call. He thought of Chas but he didn't have her number or other contact details. Besides, he thought Aaron might not want him to call her if this was something to do with him hurting himself. Yet he wasn't sure that was the cause because Aaron was clearly sick. With what though? A virus of some kind? Or meningitis?  
He forced himself not to speculate what he had.   
Should he tell someone else? Cain, maybe? No. The man had beaten the shit out of him after he tried to blackmail him. Cain hated him, might even blame him for Aaron’s condition.  
Finally, he settled on Aaron’s stepfather or former stepfather to be precise since Chas and him had got divorced. Still, Paddy still cared about him deeply and he would know what to do and whether to tell Cain and Chas yet. He'd always been fair to Aaron although they’d had their rough patches at the beginning but Aaron trusted him. He'd come out to him first after all and Paddy was a good and decent man.

With that, he started to dial the country vet’s number.  
Paddy luckily answered on the second ring and sounded worried when Robert told him the situation.  
‘Should we tell Chas and Cain? He's very sick.’  
‘Not yet. Not until we know what it is.’  
‘But what …what if…?’ Robert felt his eyes become bleary as he held back the tears as he contemplated the worst case scenario. He didn't know if he should tell Paddy about the bandages on Aaron’s wrists and let him know that he was cutting himself again. He decided that he'd only let him know if it was necessary – Robert knew how private he was. He wouldn't want his stepfather to know and worry him.  
‘Just stay there. I'll drive to the hospital and meet you.’  
….  
Robert jumped up immediately when he saw Paddy.   
‘Any more news?’  
Robert shook his head miserably as he played nervously with the plastic cup of coffee that he had got out of the machine. He'd barely touched it and it was cold now.  
Just then a middle-aged nurse with brown hair came out of the door. ‘They’re still running tests but I'm afraid it looks very serious.’ She prepared them.   
They looked at one another. ‘How serious?’ Paddy asked, frowning in concern.  
‘I'm sorry but you’ll have to ask the doctor when she comes out.’ She nodded at them then went on her way to the next ward.  
‘Can they do that? Say that then not tell us anything?’ Robert grumbled.   
‘Don't blame her. She's just doing her job.’  
But they were lucky because just then the doctor came out to where they were sitting. A young, blonde doctor who Paddy thought looked too young to be practising medicine. In any case, she knew what she was talking about.  
‘How is he?’ Paddy jumped in.  
‘May I ask your relationship to the Aaron first?’  
‘I’m his – I mean I was married to his mother if that counts.’ Paddy answered awkwardly. ‘He's my stepson and his parents aren't here.’ He added in the way of further explanation.  
‘And you?’ She turned turned to Robert who glanced at Paddy before answering, ‘I'm his boyfriend.’  
Paddy’s mouth fell at that.   
‘Does it really matter who we are? Just tell us what's wrong with him!’ Robert blurted out.  
‘I'm sorry, you'll have to excuse him. Obviously, he’s very upset.’ Paddy explained, shaking his head in warning at the younger man.  
She nodded and didn't seem affected. No doubt she was used to the impatience and frustration of patients’ upset loved ones everyday.  
‘He's still unconscious but we are doing everything we can for him. ‘Shall we go somewhere private?’  
Uh oh. This sounds bad, Robert had time to think before she ushered then into a small but cheerfully furnished room with cushions and flowers arranged against bright wallpaper clearly designed to mollify the deliverance of devastating news.  
She closed the door behind them and waved them over to the padded seats.  
‘Aaron has septicaemia - that's blood poisoning. I take it you know about his psychological issues?’ She hedged.  
Paddy nodded. ‘Wait… You're not saying he's started hurting himself again, are you?’ he asked, aghast. ‘Oh, no…’  
‘Unfortunately,he's cut himself quite deep in two places – his wrists and forearms that may indicate a possible suicide attempt and slightly newer injuries across his chest. The cuts on his chest appear to have got infected then the infection spread to his blood.’  
‘Oh God…’ Paddy sighed and buried his head in his hands, his voice cracking. ‘I should have noticed.   
‘But you don't live with him anymore!’ Robert tried to make him feel better before he got down to the point. ‘Will he…will he be OK?’ He looked up hopefully at the doctor.  
‘Like I said, he's getting the best medical care we can give him – fluids and broad-spectrum antibiotics, other medicine to keep his fever down but I'd be much more optimistic of his chances if he'd been brought in earlier.’  
‘You saying he could … Could he die?’ Robert stammered.  
‘If he survives the night, I'm almost certain he’ll make a full recovery.’ She replied. ‘I’m sorry to be so blunt but if he has any other close family, I suggest you call them.’


	3. The brink

‘Can we see him?’ Robert asked anxiously.  
The doctor shook her head. ‘I'm sorry but there are no visitors allowed in the ICU. He's sedated anyway. Why don't you two go home, have a goodnight’s sleep and come back rested in the morning?’  
Paddy sighed after she left and sank heavily into the soft padded armchair. ‘What am I going to tell his Mum? What if he…he…She’ll never forgive me.’ He wiped his eyes with one of his huge ham- like fists.  
Robert felt like crying himself but he had to hold on to hope. Because if he didn't, he would have to face the fact that he might lose Aaron forever before he even had a chance to make it up to him. To tell him ... Chrissie never even crossed his mind as he realised that being on the verge of losing him, it had become painfully clear to him who he really couldn't live without.  
‘We have to call his parents.’ Paddy turned decisive. ‘I'll call Chas and let her know what's going on - she'll drop everything to rush here if she knew how bad he was.’  
Robert nodded as the vet started dialling. From where he was, he could hear the other phone ringing but there was no answer.  
‘Come on, come on!’ Paddy yelled and shook it angrily before he turned back to him. ‘You got his Dad’s number? I know they’re together but maybe he’s got it switched on?’  
The latter shook his head. ‘Why would I have his number?’ Robert found that he couldn’t keep the distaste out of his voice. Even if Gordon had won the prize for Dad of the Year, something about the man grated on him and he felt an almost visceral dislike of him. Moreover, it wasn't just because Aaron never talked about him. He shook himself out of his thoughts to watch Paddy hang up crossly without leaving a message for Chas before he tried twice more to speak to her until he finally left a curt sounding message: ‘Sorry to disturb you on holiday but Aaron is in hospital and he's in a very bad way. It's serious. Can you call me as soon as you get this?’ He also sent her a text and email from Robert’s smart phone. ‘Why won't she answer?’ He said aloud. ‘Damn, damn, DAMN!’  
‘Well, think about where she is and who's she with.’ Robert tried to be subtle.  
‘Yeah…that. But still…’  
…  
In Harrowgate, Chas was in the bathroom dressed in her sexiest scarlet lingerie that flattered her trim figure and dark hair and ‘powdering her nose’ so to speak. Even though it was getting late, neither of them thought about sleeping and it wasn't like they were planning on getting up early and going on day trips in the morning. That would have been a waste of a 5 star bridal suite. Gordon hadn't popped the question yet but he clearly showed his intentions by booking this most expensive room on his way to impress Chas and it had made her literally melt into his arms as planned.  
He frowned when the phone rang and he saw the Caller ID of Chas’s fat bastard ex-husband – he could never see what she saw in him, it certainly wasn't his good looks. What the hell did he want with her? He thought with a surge of jealousy. She didn't hear the phone – she was singing some cheesy 80’s song too loudly that he vaguely recognised. He thought that she had a pretty good voice actually and it was a pity that he hated that song.  
Gordon shoved her phone under the covers – while he debated what to do about it. For the moment, he let it ring before Paddy hung up without leaving a message.  
‘You OK, babe?’ Chas called out. ‘You getting ready for Round 3, Big Boy?’

A scowl of irritation crossed his features but he managed to put enthusiasm in his voice, ‘Can't wait. Get back in here, Beautiful.’ He took a long swig of champagne from the crystal flute.  
‘Hold that thought, Sexy.’ She called back and giggled like a schoolgirl.  
After this brief pause, the phone stubbornly started to ring again but Gordon had made up his mind what to do. He didn't divert the call but he turned down the volume.  
He saw Paddy hang up, then try once more but this time he left a text and and a recorded message.  
Gordon read and listened to them both while drinking his champagne with barely any emotion before he deleted them and poured himself another glass. He looked at her call history but couldn't figure how to delete it, didn't know if it was even possible so he left it.  
He just had enough time to toss the mobile aside before Chas came out and jumped on the bed to wind her arms around him and kiss him deep. When they broke off, she spotted her phone and reached for it but Gordon pulled her to him instead.  
‘Wait up.’ She said as she straddled him. ‘Anyone contact me?’  
Gordon put on an innocent expression. ‘No. At least I don't think so.’  
‘Give it to me. I need to check up on Aaron – he ain't been right lately.’  
Gordon nuzzled her neck and squeezed her breast, making her gasp.  
‘No…stop that a minute, I just want to call him...make sure he's OK.’  
‘He is, I'm telling you. How about we make a pact to get away from technology while we're here? No texts, no emails, no calls. Just you and me, babe.’  
She looked at him a little askance. ‘The whole time?’ she asked sceptically.  
‘How about just one day then? So we can concentrate on each other. People are too reliant on those things these days anyway.  
He kissed the top of her cleavage, burying his head in it and her eyes flickered and he knew he was getting to her.  
‘Uh …OK…’ She agreed and squealed as he flipped her under him suddenly without warning.  
…  
Back in the hospital, Paddy and Robert were trying to decide if they should call some of the other villagers - Cain, in particular but they fell asleep on the hard chairs in the corridor, having been told to leave the comfortable room.

Author's note  
Yeah, yeah, Aaron’s parents make me want to vomit too and Gordon is one manipulative bastard who doesn't seem to care about his son. Why did he delete Chas’ messages? Could be that he wants to control her and keep her for himself? But Aaron could be dying! And Chas would never forgive herself….Poor Aaron!


	4. Rejection

At about 5 o’clock in the morning, a different nurse came to confirm that Aaron was out of the woods. ‘He's a strong boy.’ She said. ‘And he's responding well to treatment – quicker than expected..’  
Neither of the two men minded being woken up, they were so relieved. ‘Thank- God,’ Paddy exclaimed.  
‘Shall we try ringing Chas again and Cain?’  
Paddy shook his head. ‘Doesn't look there's a need now. Why worry them?’  
‘But… But he nearly died!’ Robert exclaimed.  
‘ I tried calling Chas – don’t you remember?’  
‘I ‘spose.’ Rob was sceptical.  
‘Besides, she's on holiday.’  
‘Yeah.’  
‘Can we go and see him now?’ Paddy asked.  
‘They'll just moving him from ICU.’ The nurse answered. ‘But I'll check with the doctor if it's OK for you to sit with him but he’ll still be a little woozy though so keep quiet and don't wake him.’  
‘Thank-you,’ Robert said. ‘We won’t.’  
‘I'll come and get you and take you to his new ward if she says it OK.’ With that, she flounced out the room. Less than half an hour, she was back.  
…  
Robert was woken up by his phone ringing shrilly. Paddy groaned and twisted in his uncomfortable seat and grumbled under his breath. Rob took the hint and went out in the corridor, closing the door behind him.  
‘Where are you?’  
‘Chrissie? Told you I had a business trip. Actually it turned into a kind of emergency, ‘cos Aaron…He’s…’  
Just like that, she slammed the phone down without waiting for him to finish. ‘Chrissie? … Chrissie?’  
He tried calling her back three times but the phone was off.  
He didn't bother leaving a message.  
With a sigh, he decided to go and get some coffee, maybe some breakfast if the cafeteria was open this early.  
….  
‘Dad?’ Aaron’s eyes fluttered as his eyes opened. ‘Where …?’  
Paddy was secretly delighted that Aaron had called him that even if he was dopey on the drugs they'd given him. He'd always seen him as a son despite their rocky start and done his best to help him as a trouble teen.  
‘It's me, Paddy.’  
Aaron stared to cry as he regarded his bandaged arms in horror as if shocked at his injuries.  
‘Dad?’ This time Paddy knew he was wide awake and knew exactly who he was. What…?’  
‘You're in hospital, son. Your…your cuts..got infected.’ Paddy finished awkwardly, not sure if he should let him know that he knew he'd been self-harming again.  
‘No…’  
Paddy took his shoes off and got up on the bed with him, not knowing the right words to say to comfort him, instead he preferred to show his concern by his actions.  
Aaron, not usually the touchy-freely type, began to sob for real now and rested his head on his ‘Dad’s’ chest.  
‘Hey, hey…what's wrong?’ Apart from the obvious, that was. Paddy sighed and put an arm around him. Although worried sick, a big part of him was happy that he'd knowingly called him ‘dad’. Prompting him to think why now, when his real Dad had come back? Surely Aaron was too old to start calling him that at almost 21?  
Paddy cradled him with one arm and unknowingly repeated Cain’s question, more gently than he did, ‘What have you done to yourself, eh?...Why now?’  
‘Dad…I...’’ Aaron sobbed. ‘I…I don't know.…’.  
‘Come on, you can tell me.’ Paddy coaxed. ’Nothing can be that bad, can it?’  
‘Can’t…’ Aaron rasped.  
Just then Rob returned with two cups of coffee and Paddy inwardly cursed the interruption, just when he was getting somewhere.  
‘Oh… Sorry..’ Robert felt inexplicably embarrassed not least to say extremely jealous, like he'd just walked in on something that he had no business seeing and he immediately turned to leave. Still, he knew how close his ex was with his stepdad. Practically saw him as a second father.  
Aaron shrank back against Paddy when saw Rob and Paddy unconsciously tightened his hold on him.  
‘Get him out!’ Aaron yelled suddenly without warning, his eyes flashing with rage. Weak as he was, he hadn't lost his fire.  
Paddy’s eyes grew wide then angry as he stared at Rob. ‘Did you do this?’ He asked him accusingly.  
‘No…What?’ Robert backed off in confusion.  
‘What the hell did you do to him?’ Paddy recalled then Rob telling the doctor he was his stepson’s boyfriend and when he questioned him about it, he admitted that he'd just said that so he could see him. But what if there was more to it?  
‘Nothing..…I swear... I just found him like it on the floor. Brought him here then I called you.’  
The vet was unconvinced, given the two boys’ history. He was regretting already letting Rob stay but he thought they were back to being friends at least. He couldn't have predicted Aaron’s reaction.  
‘You better leave. He obviously doesn't want you here.’

‘Why don't we ask him? Let him speak for himself!’  
‘Thought I told you to get out!’, Aaron straightened, shrugging off his stepfather’s protective grip, his finger hovering over the alarm button by the bedside near his IV drip. ‘I don't want you.’  
Rob took the hint and left with an exaggerated sigh, leaving the two cups of steaming behind him.  
After he'd gone, Paddy asked, ‘You in pain?’  
Aaron shook his head.  
‘Want one?’  
Aaron nodded enthusiastically as Paddy handed the cup over. ‘Why did you kick him out? Thought you two were friends now? And what did you mean by you don’t want …?’  
Aaron sighed and just sipped his drink. Leaning back, he, ignored the question. ‘When can I get out of here?’.Then, not waiting for an answer, ‘Does Mum know I'm in here?’.  
Paddy shook his head.  
‘Then don't tell her what I did! Or Cain! They'll only worry and it was nothing!’. He pleaded, his eyes filling with tears again.  
Paddy started to say something but looking at the younger man’s stricken expression, he changed his mind.  
‘OK.’ Although not telling his mother at all about what had happened sat wrong with Paddy but he agreed not to anyway.  
‘Thanks.’ Aaron sank back against the pillows, relieved.  
‘After you’ve drunk that, we should tell the nurse that you’re awake.’ Paddy couldn't keep the obvious relief out of his voice.


	5. Weak

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I couldn't resist writing the next chapter even if it is so soon after so here it is because it's all playing out in my head, so enjoy! And oh – if you like this story, please leave a comment or review – it would make my day!
> 
> Why does Aaron hate his ex so much? And why can't he forgive his Dad?

Aaron had time to think about things after Paddy left for the day. He stayed with him until it was time for him to go to work and then he told him that he'd come back as soon as he finished at the surgery.  
The doctor apparently felt that he needed to be observed more to see if he was fit enough to recover at home but Aaron thought he knew the real reason – they were going to make him see a psychiatrist who would try to make him talk. Didn't matter – he knew he was never going to speak about Gordon.  
Not to anyone.  
Even the professional he talked to twice a week for a year now didn't know why he hurt himself. Didn't even suspect, Aaron was sure of it.

All he wanted to do was forget his biological father and besides, he'd survived this long without spilling his guts to everyone around him.  
Kept it deep inside which was why he had to let it out now and again. It flowed out in the blood and the pain. But it would always grow back and hence, why he hurt himself again and again in an never-ending cycle. Aaron used to think when he was younger that he would grow out of skin one day.  
He didn't know why he'd broken down like that in front of Paddy and now he was feeling as embarrassed as hell. Had he really called him 'Dad'?  
What a sissy. He looked around the room for something to purge the uncomfortable feelings from himself with but they'd taken any potential sharp objects away. Even his cutlery at dinner had been plastic but maybe it all was – not only for him. The only thing he was surprised about was that they didn't restrain him.

He suppressed a laugh at that. Robert had wanted to tie him up but Aaron had never let him. Kinky and curious as he naturally was, Aaron drew a line at restraints, even the ones which weren't real where you could just pull out of them if you didn't like it.  
This memory was bitter-sweet like all those regarding his ex. Because back then, Robert hadn't been his because Aaron had been the third wheel in the other man's relationship with a woman. He'd been forced to share and didn't even get half of the man. Until he realised that his secret lover was never going to give up Chrissie for him, finally got some self-respect and broke things off. Meanwhile, Robert had made it crystal clear that he'd just been his boy-toy, his plaything to discard when he got bored.  
Over time, they'd started talking to each other and God knew how they'd come to a quasi- civil relationship when interaction was necessary. It was really no wonder that Aaron had kicked him out of the room earlier, furious at seeing him again, especially when he was vulnerable like that. Robert thought he hated him but it wasn't that – he couldn't trust himself around him. One look, one touch, one kiss and he'd be Robert's again but he knew he was only using him because Chrissie couldn't or wouldn't do everything he wanted her to do for him.  
Aaron simply couldn't take the risk of falling for his spell again.  
He could never face Paddy again either. The only excuse he could think of was that the drugs they gave him for the pain and to calm him down made his thinking fuzzy and his emotions all over the place.  
Feeling the itch he needed to scratch, he felt under the bed for something sharp he could use. He could always find something – whether it was a forgotten old nail on the floor or a mattress spring on an old bed but the hospital beds were modern.  
Just then the long-anticipated shrink knocked and entered. Immediately started interrogating him with no friendly preamble like they usually did and it made him furious. He felt like he was being accused of something when it was only himself he was hurting, no-one else.  
'Why are you cutting yourself, Aaron?' None of your damn business. Stop looking at me like that.  
'I'm not! It was an accident!'  
'An accident in three different places – your wrists, arms and chest? You have a long history of self-harm and suicide attempts.'  
'Yeah...OK.' He shrugged. 'Look, if I promise to be a good boy and not do it again, can I go home?' He snapped back with heavy sarcasm. This newbie psychiatrist looked younger than he did and was clearly a clueless imbecile with zero social skills in a white coat.  
'I don't think you realise the seriousness of what just happened. You could have died – was that your intention?' The young man with the scruffy beard asked distantly as he glanced down at his notes without making direct eye-contact with him. The idiot was very different from any of the other shrinks he'd talked to before. They usually just patronised him but then at least they sent him on his merry way. They didn't harass him like this one was doing. Besides, he was seeing a regular shrink at home.  
'Fuck off! I don't have to justify myself to you!'  
The man ignored his outburst and wrote in his notebook. Aaron could imagine what he was writing: Aggressive, defensive when asked why he self-harms.  
Really, what did these morons expect?  
'If you don't start co-operating, I'm afraid that we won't be able to send you home. If it is proved that you are a danger to yourself or others....'  
'You threatening me? Well, then you can suck my cock.'  
Aaron smirked at his shocked expression and made to pull back the covers and his gown up. 'Would you like to? I bet you would.' He leered at him. He didn't find him attractive in the least but anything to get him out of there.  
The psychiatrist grew pale and fidgeted in discomfort but continued to rapidly scribble. Again, Aaron imagined what he was writing, Patient flirting -told me I could suck his ...genitals. Patient claims to be homosexual...  
'Get out!' Aaron screamed. He was only a step or two from committing violence on the robotic jobsworth and if he lost it, they'd probably never let him out of mental hospital.  
'Fine. I'll be making a note of this and making my recommendations.' He replied coldly.  
'What's going on?' Suddenly the female doctor was there. 'Calm down.' She told Aaron who was clearly seething.  
'Why is he like this?' She turned on the shrink. 'What did you say to him?'  
'Nothing. Actually, I'm getting nowhere with him.'  
Aaron smirked. 'He came onto me.'  
'What?' She turned a shocked face to the other man.  
'He's....he's lying. He's delusional...He should be sectioned!'  
'Go now. Wait in my office for me.'  
'I did nothing wrong!' He shook his head in disgust and stormed out.  
After he left, she turned to Aaron, her face concerned. 'Did he really do that?'  
Aaron shook his head. 'No.' He admitted after hesitating a little. 'He was just pissing me off and wouldn't go when I told him to. I told him I didn't want to answer any of his stupid questions.'  
'He's new...'  
'Well, better sack him. Save the hospital money from future lawsuits.'  
She frowned. 'He's a little inexperienced...but you shouldn't make a joke about things like that. Accusations of sexual misconduct by hospital staff are taken very seriously....'  
Aaron rudely cut her off mid-speech. 'Yeah, whatever. Can I go home now?'  
'Well, you're clearly feeling better. Physically. ' She put strong emphasis on that last word. 'But I'm not sure I can send you home unless you have someone to take care of you.'  
'But my mum's still away...'  
'Anyone else?' My stepdad, Paddy. He's going to come back after work. He's a vet.'  
She nodded. 'Yes, I know but I'm not sure that will be enough. It has to be someone who can look after you the whole day and not leave you on your own.'  
You mean watch me so I don't cut myself or try to commit suicide , he thought to himself, reading between the lines of what she was saying. We wouldn't want anyone to sue the hospital for negligence if I off myself, now would we?  
'I'll be fine.'  
'I believe you but unfortunately, I can't release you to him. Those injuries need to be cleaned and bandaged carefully and someone needs to make sure you take your medicine.'  
'I think I know how to take care of myself!' He bristled. Besides, he knew that they couldn't force him to stay unless they sectioned him. He could just leave if he wasn't so weak.  
'I'm sorry but it's hospital policy.' She wouldn't budge an inch.  
Aaron hesitated before he came to the inevitable conclusion. He had no choice. But would Robert still be willing to help him after he chucked him out so ungratefully before? Paddy had since told him that it was Robert who had found him and saved his life. Aaron had felt bad about that and he couldn't ask anyone else from the village because no-one else knew about his scars and he wanted to keep it that way. He didn't even want anyone to know he'd been 'sick' and in hospital in case it got back to his mother – then his father. Paddy had promised to keep it quiet and Aaron trusted him, he just had to pray that Robert would do him the same favour. But after how he'd treated him, he wasn't so sure.  
'OK, there is one other person.' He admitted reluctantly. 'Robert – the bloke who brought me in here.'  
'Your partner?'  
Aaron nodded, knowing that they were more likely to release him if he lied. 'He's not working at the moment.'  
'Great. Do you want to give him a ring or shall I ask the nurse?'  
'I'll do it.'  
….  
'Hi, Rob. Look, I'm sorry about before...the drugs they gave me really messed up my head...wasn't thinking straight, you know. Fancy blubbing like that in front of Paddy, eh? What a basketcase.' He chuckled but even it sounded brittle to his ears.  
Rob didn't laugh along. 'Aaron – that's OK. I understand.' He sounded overjoyed and not angry at all. 'Don't worry about it.'  
'Then can you do me a favour? Can you pick me up later? They say they won't let me go unless I have someone looking after me.' Unseen by the other, Aaron rolled his eyes.  
'Of course I will.'  
'What about Chrissie?'  
'She'll understand.'  
'Are you going to tell her?'  
There was a tense silence on the other end of the line. Why was Aaron surprised when he wasn't sure himself what he meant by asking that question?  
Rob skipped round it. 'When are they letting you out?'  
'About 5 they said. They just want to do a couple more tests. Make sure I'm not going to slit my wrists or anything stupid.'  
He meant it as a joke but Robert didn't laugh. 'Don't joke.' His tone was serious for a moment on the other side of the line.  
'Can you come then?'  
'I'll be there.' His ex sounded positively excited.  
Aaron breathed a sigh of relief even though he knew it was going to be awkward. It wasn't like he trusted Robert completely not to try and mess with his head again just for kicks, sick or not and besides, he was engaged to Chrissie. And whether he liked it or not, he still had feelings for the man even though he knew he was trouble. Which was why he was so dangerous. Not that he was in any fit state to have any fun between the sheets.  
'Oh...and can you let Paddy know not to come to the hospital?' Aaron added hurriedly, nearly forgetting. 'Tell him I'm OK, not to tell Mum or Cain about this and not to worry about me.'  
'Sure.'  
'See you later, then.'  
'See you.'  
…  
Aaron waited nervously on the bed, with his bags packed. He'd had some dizzy spells in the meantime and was still too weak really to pack his own bag and the nurses had to help him.  
He wondered if Robert was up to being his nursemaid. Fortunately, the doctor said he was making very good progress and should be back to his old self if he kept taking the antibiotics and taking care of his wounds.  
Part of him felt guilty for all this fuss and attention because he'd inflicted them on himself. It was true that he'd made himself seriously ill, just because Gordon was back like a bad smell...but he quickly shut off thoughts of him. He'd managed not to think of him and his touch for a whole day.  
There was a knock on the door and suddenly Rob stepped in and Aaron's heart nearly leapt in his mouth. Why did he knock? Aaron knew why – he was being very careful around him not to cross any boundaries.  
'How you doing, mate?'  
Aaron shrugged. 'Feel like shit, actually. The antibiotics got some serious side-effects.'  
'Never mind, let's get you home.' Rob reached for his overnight bag which he'd packed for him himself before he brought him to hospital and offered him his arm for him to lean on. Even walking out of the hospital to the car seemed to require a marathon amount of effort from Aaron who was still weak with legs that felt like jelly.  
…  
They drove along in silence. Aaron dozed on the long drive back home in any case and he didn't feel like talking.  
Rob nudged him awake when they got there and swung the car-door open. A gust of freezing February air greeted Aaron and he shivered but it felt surprisingly soothing on his flushed face.  
'Shit – do you still have a fever?' Rob put the back of his hand to his ex-lover's forehead.  
Aaron jerked away.  
'I'm fine. Doctor said the fever might come back. Just want to get inside and lie down.'  
Robert opened the front door and helped him onto his sofa. He put the overnight bag near him where he could get it easily. Then, he gave him a glass of water once he'd got him settled, that's all that he said he wanted.  
Aaron's eyes closed almost immediately after he put the empty glass down on the coffee table but he was woken again when the mobile in his jacket pocket started to vibrate, demanding attention. He'd had it on silent.  
'Mum?'  
'Hi, sweetheart. How are you? Sorry I didn't call back last night. Must have got cut off...Stop it!' He heard her swot something away. He frowned.  
'Mmmm' He heard in the background and he knew it was his father literally sniffing around his mother. This made him feel even weaker than he did already. Chas giggled then and didn't even wait for his reply. 'Well, we've got some special news.'  
'Yeah?' Aaron racked his brain for what it could be. And none of the scenarios running through his head were good if they involved his father.  
'We're getting married!' She screeched down the phone as he winced and pulled it away from his ear as his worst fear proved real.  
Rob – always able to read the smallest of his micro-expressions looked at him questioningly in concern.  
'Your Mum and Dad are getting hitched again. But it's going to even be better than first-time round, won't it, babe?' She directed the last sentence at his father, presumably standing behind her and listening to the whole thing.  
A shudder passed through Aaron at this 'good' news, not least because it felt like his father was close enough to reach into the phone and grab him. He knew it was a crazy thought to have but he couldn't help thinking it and he was surprised how vulnerable and scared it made him feel.  
'Well? What do you have to say?' His mother demanded.  
He immediately went pale and closed his eyes to stop the room from spinning around him. Rob, watching him anxiously, could see his hand that was holding the phone start to shake.  
'Congratulations.' Aaron replied coldly. He could sense Rob's concern and saw him reach out to touch his arm from the corner of his eye before he remembered not to and pulled it back.  
'Well, you could sound a bit more happy for us. Didn't you always want us to get back together, be a proper family again? Hey – (her voice faded as she turned back to speak to his father) maybe he could give me away?'  
Aaron struggled for words but found that they wouldn't come easily, not when he felt like he was literally choking. Particularly at her ridiculous, drunk suggestion. She didn't seem to notice though but then he reminded himself that she couldn't see him or the the expression on his face. If she could...  
'Give 'im 'ere.' He heard his father slur in the background. 'I want to speak to 'im.'  
'Er, Mum? I got to go.' He panicked. 'There's a client who's come back for their car. Bye.'  
'At 8 pm?' She sounded sceptical but the truth was sometimes he worked late to make extra cash. 'Jus' hold on a sec, darlin'. Your Dad wants to speak to you before you go...'.  
'Bye Mum!' He pushed the 'end-call' button before he slumped back against the sofa.  
The phone immediately started to ring again but seeing who it was, he scowled and switched it off.  
'What did she say? You look like you've seen a ghost, mate.'  
'Thanks.' He bit back sarcastically.  
'Congratulations? Congratulations for what?'  
'Guess. Her and my Dad are getting married. Again.'  
'But that's good, ain't it?' Robert narrowed his eyes at his ex's reaction to what should have been good news. It was sudden and unexpected, he'd give Aaron that but then again, there didn't seem to be much love lost between Aaron and Gordon. Not on the son's side, anyway.  
Aaron felt the room spin and the bile rise up in his stomach. He only just had enough time to hang his head over the bin that Rob hastily put there and retch out all his stomach contents.  
Rob tried rubbing his back in circles but Aaron jerked away from his hand for the second time and Rob realised that he didn't want him touching him unnecessarily. 'I'll be OK.' Aaron snapped.  
Rob sighed. 'Do you want some more water or something?  
'Water.' Aaron croaked and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand.  
He drained it down in two large gulps.  
'More?'  
He shook his head.  
'What's the problem?' Rob handed him a small, clean towel from the bathroom. 'I mean, I know you don't get on with your old man but...'  
'The problem is that I won't be able to see her without him! Now he's buying the pub and he's marrying her, he'll be here all the time!'  
'What are you going to do? You can't stop them from getting married....'  
'I'm going to leave, that's what. As soon as I'm better.'  
'No, you can't...'  
He closed his eyes. 'You know, it's a pity I didn't die ….can't even kill myself properly.' He wasn't saying this for sympathy or in self-pity, he spoke matter-of-factly and Rob could see that he meant every word.  
He gasped. 'You ...you don't mean that.'  
'I do! Everyone would be better off if I wasn't around.'  
'Don't say that! Your Mum loves you and then there's Paddy and even Cain...They care about you and there's plenty of others too...Think about what it would do to them if you weren't around.'  
'Cain! Yeah, right. He looks at me like I'm a fuck-up, a freak - ever since he found out about me cutting myself.' He scoffed.  
'You're imagining it! He cares about you, you got all these people around who'd be sad if you weren't here...!'.  
'Why? I ain't worth it. Anyway, none of it matters because I can't stick it around here with Gordon just around the corner.' He declared miserably.  
'But your home's here, your business and...and me.'  
Aaron looked at him with wide eyes of surprise then and for once, Rob couldn't read his eyes except that they were wet with unshed tears.  
'You going to let him take all that away from you?'  
'Got no choice. I'm out of here for good, one way or another.'  
Rob frowned. 'Aaron...can I ask you something? You don't have to tell me but why do you hate your Dad so much?'  
Aaron hunched his shoulders and faced away from him and at first Rob thought he was going to tell him to shut up.  
But he didn't.  
He started to talk.


	6. Vulnerable

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What's Aaron going to tell Rob? I'm sure if you watch Emmerdale you know the plot and even if you don't know the story, I think it's pretty obvious. There's more trouble ahead with Gordon for sure.
> 
> Hints of possible incest/child sex abuse so if you're sensitive, please don't read!

Aaron began to speak.

Or at least he tried to. His mouth opened and closed like a fish as he shook his head. 'Can't.' He croaked. 'Can you get me my pain pills? The last ones are wearing off and it fucking hurts.'  
Rob gladly went over and rummaged through his bag until he found the packet where he said they would be. He went into the small kitchen to get him another glass of water.  
'Here.' He gave them to him when he came back.  
Aaron breathed a sigh of relief after a few minutes when the medicine started to kick in.  
'Oh and don't forget these.' Rob found the bottle of heavy-duty broad-spectrum antibiotics. The nurse had gone through the dosages and times clearly with him before they left the hospital.  
Aaron sighed but swallowed that pill too.  
Even though he clearly needed his medication, Rob feared that he was using it as a distraction because he didn't want to talk about his father and answer his question. But he didn't want to force him or put pressure on him but he needed to know in order to help him.  
'Aaron? Do you want to answer my question now?'   
He turned and looked at him with empty eyes, opened his mouth but again no sounds came out. He closed it again helplessly and looked away.  
Rob went and sat by him on the sofa and tried to touch his arm but he cringed away. 'Don't. Please don't.' He whispered.  
'I'm sorry. I keep forgetting not to...If you're too tired, we can just sleep. You don't have to tell me a single thing if you don't want to.'  
Aaron looked up at him gratefully, his black-ringed eyes full of pain and gave a hesitant nod. 'No, I want to talk. The reason I don't want my Da – I mean - Gordon here is because he...he....'  
Just then the house-phone started ringing and Rob cursed as he went over to answer it. The moment was lost now.  
'Is Aaron there with you?' The male voice demanded on the phone began without any pleasantries. 'Is he OK?'  
'Oh, hello Paddy. Nice to hear from you too.' He replied a little sarcastically while Aaron perked up at the sound of his stepdad's name.  
'Well, is he?'   
'Yeah, he's OK. Do you want to speak to him?'  
The vet ignored his question and lowered his voice instead to a hiss. 'Now, I don't know why the hospital would rather let you look after him than me but you better not upset him. I don't know what went on between you but he's very fragile in many ways at the moment, you hear me?'  
Robert flushed with anger at the other man's tone and tried to keep his annoyance out of his voice as he replied, 'I already texted you why. Now, I don't know what you think I am but...'  
'I know exactly what you are. You're practically a married man and you better not be messing him around. He's in no fit state to have his heart broken again.'  
'What makes you think...?'  
'Because I heard what he said about not wanting you. Now, why would he say that?'  
'I don't know. Perhaps because he was packed full of drugs and had a temperature? You saw the way he was acting –wasn't exactly himself.'  
'Still, I always say where there's smoke, there's fire.'  
Jesus – it's not like I'm going to jump his bones. 'Look, Paddy, I don't what you heard but we're just mates now, promise you. I swear there's nothing going on. And I love my wife.'  
'Your fiancee, you mean. And there better not be.' But the big man was sounding calmer now. 'Can I speak to him?'  
'Paddy...' Aaron had been listening but could only hear his former lover's side of the conversation when he called over and held out his hand for the phone.  
Rob pulled at the extension cord and stretched it so that Aaron didn't have to get up.  
'Paddy?' He practically snatched the receiver from him.  
'You OK, son? How you feeling? Did you have your tea yet?'.  
'Nah, ain't hungry. Just feel a little sick. Tired, mainly.'  
'Well, try and get some rest. You know I wanted to bring you home with me and take care of you but Rob said that you said that the hospital wouldn't let me? That right?'  
'Yeah, that's what they said. It's OK. More comfortable in my own place anyway.'  
'Are you sure?'  
'I'm fine. Don't worry about me.'  
'Listen – I'll come by tomorrow. Make sure he changes those bandages properly at least once a day. And that he uses the proper antiseptic they gave you to clean them and that you take the antibiotics and finish the course.'  
Aaron rolled his eyes, thinking, Yes, Dad. 'OK, Paddy. They showed us how to do it before we left.'  
'Bye for now.'  
'Bye.'   
'Jesus – he's a just a tad overprotective, isn't he?'  
'Yeah. Yeah he is.' Aaron gave a small smile that brightened up his face like the winter sun coming out from a grey cloud. 'He's always been like that even when I was causing him and my Mum grief.' Then his eye-lids began to flutter. 'So tired...' He moaned.  
'Aaron...before we go to sleep, you know what I've got to do first, don't you?'  
He gritted his teeth and straightened his back. 'Change my bandages. Fine.'  
'Is...is that OK? I know that you don't want me to touch you but...'  
'I said it's fine!' He snapped.   
Rob went over and gingerly helped him off with his shirt. What he saw made him gasp in shock. There was barely an inch on the front of his toned torso, including his stomach, that wasn't covered in burns and scars and that wasn't even including the recent wounds covered in lint bandages. But he found it as sexy as hell and had to stop himself from running his hands all over his skin – damaged as it was and kissing each and every scar. Worship them to let Aaron know that he wasn't ugly but that he was beautiful.  
'Oh, Aaron...'  
'What?' He snapped, turning on him. 'Yeah, I know. They're really sexy, ain't they?' He bit back with heavy sarcasm.  
' No – God - you're beautiful.' Rob spoke aloud reverently without thinking and wanted to take it back when Aaron raised his eye-brows and drew in a sharp breath.  
'No - I only meant - There's so many more...Why?'  
Aaron shrugged, clearly telling him to back off with his questioning. 'Can you get on with it?' He yawned. 'I need to get my head down.'  
Rob went to fetch a bowl of lukewarm water and a clean towel.  
Aaron grit his teeth as he unwound the bandages and cleaned his wounds with the disinfectant mixed in the water as gently as he could. Finally, he dried them off, applied the antisceptic before he did them up again.  
Afterwards, he helped him on with his shirt and got a blanket from the spare cupboard and pulled it over him. During all of this, he'd tried to touch him as little as possible but it didn't escape his notice when Aaron flinched away when he tucked it in around him and drew it up to his chin.   
'Sorry.' What the hell did he do to you?   
He didn't answer but turned away with his back to him to face the sofa.  
'Warm enough?'  
He grunted.  
'Night then.'  
Rob got his own cover and settled down on the floor for the night before he remembered his fiancee. He should really let her know what was going on.  
With a sigh, he got up as quietly as he could and just approached Aaron for a few seconds, listening to his breathing. Reassured, he went into the kitchen and closed the door behind him.  
'Chrissie?'  
She was sleepy. 'It's one o'clock in the morning. Why are you calling me now? Let me guess – you're with him.'   
'That's right. See – he got sick – really bad infection and almost died and the hospital insisted that he be released to someone who was free and could stay in all day and look after him. I finished that business deal in town yesterday and...'  
'So it had to be you. Of course there is no-one else who could do it. What about his mother or Paddy?'  
'Chas is out of town and Paddy has to go to work.'  
'You expect me to believe that?'  
'It's true, Chris. There is no-one else.'  
'Then why couldn't he stay in hospital? You chose him over me. Didn't you?'  
'Chrissie ….You know what they're like now. Always kicking you out as soon as they can to free up beds. They wouldn't let him...'  
'He's gay! And I forgave you for cheating on me with him before with your sordid little boyfling. How could you do it to me again now?'  
'I swear there's nothing going on. Look, why would I be telling you I'm with him if there were? I'd lie about where I was, wouldn't I?'  
She was quiet for a moment, reconsidering.  
'You're the one I love. The one I'm going to marry in a few weeks.'I'm telling the truth! You're right what happened between me and Aaron was just a sexual experiment because I'm completely straight now! Don't like other men at all.'  
'Good for you! Whatever.' She sounded bored.  
'Look, he's sleeping now. He's extremely weak, he nearly died!'  
'Good! I wished he had then we'd be together now instead!'  
'You don't mean that.'  
'Don't I?' She challenged him.  
'Look, do you still have the morning off tomorrow?'  
'Yes. Why?' She was deliberately pretending to be obtuse.  
'I'll come over then and we can talk, that's why.'  
'Fine.' She slammed down the phone.  
….  
A few miles away in Harrowgate, Gordon tossed and turned while his ex-wife (soon to be his wife again) slept beside him like a baby, bissfully happy at his whirlwind romance marriage proposal. Then again, it wasn't like they had a reason to wait and in this way, he hoped to consolidate his presence in the village and rebuild his family. He'd found that having a near-terminal illness like cancer really put things in perspective, making him want to live in the here and now and re-establish his connections with old loved ones. Aaron and he had been far apart for too long with not so much as a birthday card or telephone call between them. Well, Gordon had sent him letters and cards regularly at first but they'd all gone unanswered with none coming from him, not even on the father's birthday.  
That had stung the most.   
Gordon had tried to call him and apologise for chucking him out like that, to explain why he had to but the conversations had seemed stilted without any real communication (Aaron refused to answer anything beyond the usual and mundane questions). Over time, as he got older, Aaron had stopped even accepting his calls. Eventually Gordon had got the message (so to speak) and accepted that his son didn't want anything to do with him.   
It had hurt like someone had twisted a knife into in his heart.  
Just like he had refused to speak to him on the phone since they'd been in Harrowgate but now the father wanted to make things right between them.Clear the air and start afresh.

Looking back, it was true Aaron had been a handful when he was growing up and neither Gordon or Sandra could handle him, that's why he'd had to go in the end, much to Gordon's grief. Lashing out at his wife had been the last straw because Gordon couldn't condone physical violence, especially against women and he couldn't have her be in potential danger from his own violent and aggressive teenage son. In a way it had been a relief after Aaron had left because the boy had been the cause of all their marital problems in the first place. Even Gordon's unconventional methods of disciplining him (he didn't believe in hitting or beating children, besides what they'd done together hadn't been so much a punishment as a reward and maybe that's why it didn't work) had all come to nothing – no, even seemed to increase his bad behaviour. In the end, he'd had no choice but to kick him out. Still, after months of trying to rekindle their relationship, Sandra had left anyway, proving that the boy's bad behaviour had irrevocably damaged their marriage.  
Still, Gordon was willing to forgive the past and let bygones by bygones. He was a generous and upright man, after all.  
He told himself that he just needed to talk to the boy – how he was going to start wasn't clear to him but the fact that his son had refused to speak to him twice on the phone now and the disrespectful and dismissive way he'd greeted him after 7 long years like he was nothing grated on him. Was like a festering sore not on the surface of his skin but somewhere deep inside him that would never heal, in fact.  
Yes, Gordon was going to have words with his son and get the proper family reunion that was his due. He just had to get to him first in a place where he could get him with his back against the wall with no escape. There, he could force him to hear him out.  
With that thought, he got up determinedly to rummage through Chas's handbag as quietly as he could. He grinned when he found the key to Aaron's flat...he thought he might have trouble deciding which key was which but it had a pretty, decorative name-tag on it set against fake polished wood ).   
Should be more careful in future, love. He thought to himself. What if a bad person who knows him found this and broke into his flat?  
Smiling at how easy it had been, he quickly got dressed.  
'Gordon?' Chas stirred sleepily.   
'Yes, love?'  
'Where you goin', babe? It's still dark.' She tried to pull him back into bed with her. 'Get back over here.'   
'Not now, love. Sorry, some business has come up and if I leave now (he glanced at his watch which said 0723) I can be back by lunchtime and you can have your lie-in.'  
'No...don't go, Gordon.'  
'I'm sorry but it's really urgent. See ya later, OK?'  
'OK. But you better make it up to me when you come back.' She purred.  
He leaned over and kissed her. 'Will do. How about I bring some champagne and nibbles back with me? Cheaper than ordering room-service in this place.'  
She slapped his bum playfully. 'You're such a cheapskate! OK – go.'  
'Thanks love. The sooner I get going, the sooner I'll be back.'  
'You better.' She blew him kisses as he left.  
'Bye.'  
She groaned and turned over onto to her side and promptly fell asleep.


	7. Confession

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Can Robert make Aaron trust him enough to tell him what his Dad did to him? Will it bring them closer?  
> Don't forget - Gordon's on his way! Will Aaron be on his own when he turns up?  
> Warnings: description of child rape, incest and emotional abuse. If you are easily affected by these issues, please don't read!

Robert glanced at his phone as he woke up, sensing it was still early. About 8am but it was still dark.  
He'd always been an early riser – he guessed it came from being raised on the farm. It took him a while to remember where he was and what had happened and he was startled to hear the soft snores coming from the sofa.  
'Aaron?' He whispered.  
No reply.  
Robert slouched back and closed his eyes. He still felt tired – no drained. All the drama of the last 48 hours – Aaron had nearly died, Paddy was on his case and now so was Chrissie.  
Do you still have feelings for me? He mentally asked his friend. If you just said the word, I'd leave her like a shot.  
He sighed, knowing he was being selfish. Almost like he was what Paddy accused him of being – taking advantage of Aaron when he was in no condition to make a decision, let alone reciprocate. It wasn't like that had been what he was doing when he cheated on Chrissie all those months ago – he had used Aaron. He didn't want to do that this time.  
He was in a bad place, both physically and mentally. Robert felt like a complete cad for even hoping  
'No...no. Get off!' Aaron's tossing and turning and his angry half-muttered words brought him rudely out of his daydream.  
'Aaron?'  
'Nooo....Please don't, Dad. I didn't mean to talk back at Sandra and I'll eat my tea next time, promise. I just didn't like it...'  
Rob went over – he could only see the huddled shape of his friend in the darkness. He wanted more light but he didn't want to open the curtains in case he woke him up. He badly needed his sleep.  
A half-hearted sob came from the direction of the sofa.  
'Aaron? Hey, it's OK.' He whispered. He knew he'd been forbidden to touch him but how else was he going to get him to stop?  
'Come here.' He tried to pull him into his arms but was met with resistance.  
'Noo.. Dad. Don't touch me...No, I'm not going to take my clothes off, fuck off!' Rob winced.  
He gave up. 'Sh...It's me. I'm not going to hurt you.' Robert didn't care that he was touching what he shouldn't as he slowly stroked his hair. 'Shh...'  
'Paddy?' He was still fast-asleep.  
'Yeah...it's me.' Rob thought he shouldn't contradict him especially as he saw him visibly relax. Anyway, apparently Aaron's stepfather was the only one who was allowed to touch him.  
'Don't let him hurt me.'  
'I won't. You're safe. I'm here.'  
'Thanks, Paddy.' He mumbled in his sleep while Robert didn't stop petting his hair. It was a little bit greasy the first thing he was going to do was get him in the bath. Yes, he was going to run him a nice hot, relaxing bath. Didn't mean he had to get in with him.  
Suddenly Aaron's eyes were wide open and he was staring at him without seeing and Robert backed off in a hurry.  
'Aaron?'  
He was suddenly looking straight at him.  
'You awake?'  
He nodded. 'Bad dream.' His voice was hoarse and cracking.  
'Was it about what...what happened?'  
'With my Dad? Yeah.'  
'Do you want to talk about it?'  
He shook his head vigorously.  
Rob thought it was time to apply some well-meaning pressure. He could see that his friend was desperate to tell him but he needed some encouragement first.  
'Why do you hate him so much?'  
'He hurt me.' His voice was shaking.  
'How did he hurt you? What did he do?'  
Aaron shook his head and all Rob wanted to do was put his arm around him and hold him close. But he could tell by his tense body language how that would go down.  
'He hit you? Beat you? What did he do to you?'  
'He didn't hit me.'  
'What then?' Rob knew the answer but he had to hear it from Aaron first. 'Come on, you can tell me. What did he do to you? Whatever it is, it can't be worth all this pain.'  
He raised his face unashamedly flowing with tears up to him. 'He raped me.'  
Robert didn't know what to say. It was still a shock hearing the truth from him even though he'd been expecting it.  
'How old were you? I mean...sorry...you don't have to tell me if you don't want to.'  
Aaron turned a tear-streaked face up at him. 'I was 8 and it fuckin' HURT!'  
'Oh, Aaron....' Robert breathed.  
'Even then, I knew it was wrong. After he finished, he got a towel from the bathroom, cleaned me up and tucked me in as usual without saying anything. I just lay there, wondering if it had really happened.'  
'Go on.'  
'After Mum left, it started. Him and Sandra used to yell at each other a lot. I'd lie in bed at night listening to it and I couldn't sleep, knowing he was going to come into my room after and...and..' He shook his head and sobbed helplessly.  
'But that's not your fault!'  
'He told me it was. He said I was the reason that they were always arguing because I was bad. Always causing trouble.'  
'Sick fuck...'  
Aaron straightened up and wiped the tears away, determined to go on and finish his story now he'd started. It turned out that starting was the hardest part like with most things and now he couldn't stop. Yet he paused to control his breathing and to let out a couple of shuddering breaths.  
'After the first time, he acted like nothing had happened. He even made me my favourite breakfast the next morning – a bacon and cheese toastie which I was only allowed on Sundays. But I wasn't hungry and he got that look on his face again...' He shivered and paused, fighting to get his emotions under control and let out a couple of deep breaths '...so I ate it. We had my favourite tea - fish and chips every night and my favourite breakfast every morning for a week after that. Now, I can't even look at a plate of the stuff.'  
'I'm not surprised. Never knew why you didn't like fish and chips when everyone else does.' Rob tried to lighten the mood but of course he was unsuccessful. So he fell silent.  
Aaron scowled before he continued.  
'That morning, I tried to pretend that it was all just a bad dream. But he said that he was sorry that he had to punish me like that but I'd been a very naughty boy but if I was good, it would never happen again.'  
'Did it?'  
Aaron's voice cracked, as he broke down in sobs, 'I tried my best ...but it was so hard to be good!' He let out a couple more of those shuddering breaths.  
'He did it again, didn't he?'  
He nodded and let his tears run down his face without wiping them away.  
'The next time that stuck out in my memory was when he lost his job. I heard him slam the car-door on the gravel before he opened the front- door, something he always used to tell me off for. Heard him yell at Sarah and then he shouted for me.' He shook his head. 'I didn't want to go to him. He'd brought fish and chips with him for our tea but I didn't want it. He threw mine away and made me something else but I didn't that either because I didn't like it. Now I think I just wasn't hungry because I knew what was coming. Wouldn't have made any difference what I'd done but back then...'  
He paused and squeezed his eyes shut. Robert waited patiently for him to continue, knowing how important it was that he didn't interrupt him.  
'Later that night, I tried to hide in my wardrobe but he found me. Stupid really. He tore open the doors hard enough to break the hinges – and of course he took that out on me as well - it was my fault - and just stared down at me. The look on his face...' He wept. 'I was so scared...'.  
'Sh...It's OK. He can't hurt you anymore.'  
Aaron made a grimace. 'He said I was a bad boy and ordered me to strip before he threw me down on my bed. Then he stuffed a smelly football sock in my mouth so I couldn't scream and pinned me down!...I wasn't even 12! I didn't even know what I was supposed to have done other than I didn't eat my tea!'  
'Did Sandra know?'  
'I don't think so. He was clever – always made sure she wasn't nearby when he ...But she never wanted me either.'  
'Afterwards, he stroked my hair and kissed my cheek', he shuddered in revulsion at the memory. 'I just felt so filthy and disgusting...I was bleeding and I desperately wanted to have a shower but he wouldn't let me. Just cleaned me up with a towel again.'  
'No wonder he didn't want you to have one that time, Sandra might have cottoned on.'  
'I don't think that was it. He just liked to make me suffer. But I would have stayed under for hours if I could have and he knew that. Then he blamed me and said if I didn't want it to happen again, I would do what I was told in future. I did everything he wanted but it was never enough, I tried to please him and make him happy.'  
Robert drew in a sharp breath. 'Please him? What do you mean?'  
'He didn't always rape me – he saved that 'punishment' for when I was really bad but he made me do other stuff to him.'  
'Other stuff...?' Robert knew but he needed Aaron to say it out loud for his sake.  
'Touching him, sucking him off. He made it sound like he was being nice or something – because he didn't rape me like I deserved. Once I remember he even kissed me – like properly – with his tongue – ugh.' Aaron grimaced at the memory. 'That was almost worse than everything else he did to me.'  
'How often did it happen?'  
'The rapes? I only remembered two or three times but when I saw him – it all came flooding back. He'd go the whole way with me maybe two or three times a month, the other stuff more often. I guess that's why him coming back messed me up so much.'  
'Can you remember the last time it happened?'  
'Not exactly. But I remember when it stopped. I was 13 and he kicked me out. I'd been playing truant, stealing booze, smoking. Was giving Sandra a hard time too. I used to set fire to stuff just to watch it burn...'  
'We all did that...Still doesn't give him the right to...'  
Aaron cut him off. 'It was like the more he threatened me and 'punished' me, the more I rebelled. I stopped trying to be good because I think...I think I realised it didn't make any difference. I was born bad so why fight it? Anyway, that day I lashed out and hit Sandra. And he had that look on his face and I thought he was going to...but he didn't. Him kicking me out was the best thing he ever did for me. I didn't mean to hurt her...I really wanted to hit him. I lashed out at the wrong person!'  
'It sounds like you just lost it – anyone would have done in your shoes. Having to put up with too much for too long.'  
'Still, that's no excuse for what I did...'  
'Did she ever guess?'  
'I don't think so.'  
'So you went through that all alone? Never told anyone what he was doing to you?'  
'Who? My mum? Sandra? She hated me. Anyway, he told me time and time again that I was bad, I deserved it and that I should be grateful because he didn't hit me like other dads. But I wish he had! That stuff kind of gets into your head then you think it's your fault and even if you told someone, no-one would believe you. Just laugh at you... I used to wonder if what he did to me made me gay...'  
'Do you really believe that?'  
'I...I don't know.' He confessed simply.  
'Sometimes I want to kill myself and just disappear. I don't think about the people left behind...I'm so selfish, but I tell myself that they'd be happier without me.'  
'I can't imagine a life without you. Please don't, Aaron. We'll get through this, we'll beat him.'  
'What...What are you saying?' He looked up at him with teary, unbelieving eyes filled with hope.  
'Don't mess with my head, Rob. Not after what I just told you, don't say things you don't mean...'  
'I mean it. I love you.'  
Then, 'Fuck you!' He screamed. 'I can't take any more..' He was sobbing again. 'I cut myself, I'm fucked up. All I do is hurt people...Who in their right mind could ever love me?'  
'Yeah but that's only because of him. You want him to win? You just going to leave, that's it? What about your mum? You think she's safe with a man like Gordon?'  
Aaron sobbed. 'Well, I don't love you so you can leave now. And I won't be your bit on the side again once you're married!'  
'I love you.' Rob repeated quietly.  
'Oh yeah? You going to leave Chrissie and all her money for me? Yeah, right. Oh, I see now. Get me to open up to you, trust you so that you can tell me that you love me again and I'm just supposed to fall at your feet. So that you can have the best of all both worlds?' He was so angry, he tried to take a weak swing at him which Robert easily dodged.  
'Not true. I love you. I only want you. And I'll cancel the wedding tomorrow if you tell me you feel the same way.'  
'I hate you!' He screamed back, remembering all the times Rob had betrayed him, treated him like dirt and now he had told him his darkest secret. His pain had suddenly turned to rage and it was easier to deal with that way. Easier than to trust and believe in one more person who had told him that they loved him but gone on to betray him anyway.  
'I love you.' Rob was persistent.  
'Don't you say that – don't you say that now! After everything...'Aaron suddenly lunged at him sobbing and would have punched him in the face if he could. 'You think I could ever love someone like you!’  
Robert just stood there with his nose streaming blood and smiled. ‘I love you.’ He repeated quietly.  
‘Get out!’ Aaron only gave him a hard shove this time. ‘Don't need you – never needed you!’ His voice cracked and before he could stop it, he was breaking down again, wondering why he hadn't run out of tears by now. Just like he always seemed to be these days since his dear old dad came back into his life.  
‘I love you and no matter how much you hate me and tell me to leave, I’ll be here for you.’  
Aaron drew back and looked into his eyes suspiciously, trying to decide if he was being mocked as his own streamed tears. He hardly noticed - didn't bother to wipe them away.  
‘I'm not going anywhere.’ Robert declared quietly. ‘And I still love you.’  
‘You tried to kill my Dad! Think I can forgive you for that? And you killed Katie! And that ain't even half all the evil things you've done…’  
‘But it was an accident…’ Robert was momentarily confused. ‘I can change if I have you...Wait a minute, what are you talking about I tried to kill your Dad?... Believe me, I wished I had but I …’  
‘Not him! My real Dad – Paddy!’ Aaron shook his head. ‘My mum’s right, you do destroy everything you touch. You're evil! Sick! Twisted! Don't know why I told you!' He punctuated each word with a vicious blow at Robert's chest but he was still so weak that his fists merely glanced off the other without doing any real damage. His friend just sat there and took it all until Aaron collapsed against him, sobbing. ‘How could I ever love someone like you?’ He moaned. ‘Why do I…?’  
Robert kissed the top of his hair and drew them down to the floor.  
‘You don't have to. You don't have to do a thing, just let me make it up to you. Let me be your friend at least and help you through this. Please, Aaron.’  
Aaron didn't answer but was weeping with abandon in his arms as Robert held him tighter and murmured sweet nothings and comfort. They sat there for what seemed like a long time but Robert didn't mind.  
He had Aaron back. He sighed as he stroked his hair then his bare arm, careful to avoid the most recent cuts that were slowly healing.  
‘I won't let Gordon hurt you. You're safe with me.’ Aaron had quieted down but Rob knew he wasn't fully asleep but listening intently.  
'We'll get him, I promise.'


	8. Promises

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (New note: I revised this and added details when I saw how many mistakes there were and it wasn't such great writing. Sorry about that - I was feeling really tired yesterday but I just wanted to post something. Please read again.)
> 
> Can Robert convince Aaron that he does truly love him and isn't messing him around like before? Does Aaron feel the same way? What is going to happen about Gordon? Will Aaron tell his Mum or will he just leave without saying anything, letting his evil father get away with it? He's still pretty scared of Gordon and worse - he's weak from the infection that nearly killed him. What if Gordon turns up on his doorstep when he's alone? Does Gordon want more than just to talk to him?  
> Wait and see! If you like this story or even if you don't, please leave a comment or review and let the author know how they are doing. Thanks for reading x

Robert held Aaron awhile, listening to the sounds of his breathing but at least he stayed quiet like he was at peace now, having got rid of the huge burden he'd been shouldering for more than a decade. The blonde man on the other hand, couldn't sleep, not with everything Aaron had told him going around his head and besides, daylight was streaming through the window-blinds.  
He glanced at clock on the wall – it was nearly 9am and he had to go and see Chrissie. She was going to be angry and jealous and her greeting would probably involving lots of screaming and flying objects aimed at his head.  
He didn't want to disturb his friend but he had to get up so he let got of him as gently as he could to slide from under him. Rob needn't have worried - Aaron was sleeping so soundly that he didn't wake. Robert didn't want him sleeping like that on the hard floor but he was loathe to move him onto the sofa.  
With a sigh, he was just about to go upstairs for a shower when he heard a small voice behind him.  
'Rob?'  
'Aaron? How you feeling mate?'  
'A bit better.' He paused as if considering. 'But you look down on me, don't you?'  
He whirled round to face him. 'No, of course not! Why would you think that?'  
'Because of what I told you that I had sex with my own Dad!'  
'You didn't have sex – he forced you!'  
He shrugged like he wasn't completely convinced.  
'None of it was your fault. He blamed you to justify to himself what he was doing because he knew it was wrong.'  
Aaron shrugged and Robert couldn't believe that he still thought that way. To better convince him, he got down on the floor with him where he was sitting hunched so that they were at eye-level. Damn, he looks so small, he thought. But how can he when I know that underneath his clothes that he's stocky and well-built?  
'But you got that look in your eye. Like you feel sorry for me. That's why I never told anyone – couldn't stand someone else looking at me like you do!'  
'Aaron...' Rob touched his shoulder and this time he didn't pull away.'You're one of the strongest people I've met. To go through all that alone....'  
He was rewarded with only a small, tight smile in reply.  
'I'm going home after we've had breakfast – to see Chrissie. But only for about an hour or so then I'll come straight back here. Will you be OK?'  
'I'm not going to fall apart or do something stupid while you're gone if that's what your worried about.' His voice become hard. 'You don't have to babysit me, I ain't a baby.' He grumbled.  
'That's not what Paddy thinks.' Rob said with a smile but it soon disappeared when Aaron glared at him.  
'I know that.' Robert became serious again. 'And don't worry, I won't tell her anything you told me.' Rob took his hand away.  
'Better not tell anyone.' He warned.  
'You can trust me. But you should tell your mum about what your Dad did.'  
'Tell her? I can't. It'll kill her.'  
'You going to let him get away with it?'  
Aaron shrugged but shrank back against him. 'I'll think about it, OK?' He mumbled hesitantly.  
'Promise?' Rob coaxed.  
'Promise.' Then, 'What does Chrissie think about you being here with me all this time?'  
'She's pretty pissed off about it. But maybe I ain't that bothered.'  
Aaron's face took on a cautious look of hope. 'What do you mean by that?' H breathed.  
'I mean I meant what I said last night, silly. I love you. And I'll break up with Chrissie today if you tell me to.'  
'Yeah?' Aaron looked up at him with shining eyes. 'You really mean it?....Well, come here then.' Aaron leaned forward into a long kiss to claim him and wrapped his legs around his hips and it was one of the hottest things Rob had ever experienced. He closed his eyes in relief as he kissed him gently back.  
'Come on.' Aaron growled into his ear and started to undo the other man's belt with greedy hands but Rob stayed his hand.  
'No -you don't have to.'  
'Oh...come on, the other whined and pouted. 'You'll have to help me up to bed but what the hell.'  
'Aaron...' This wasn't like when they'd made love before, something was wrong. Rob didn't want Aaron like this. Not when he'd been crying and was hurting and vulnerable because he feared that he would be doing exactly what Paddy accused him of.  
'I need you to get rid of his touch...' The younger man mumbled as he frantically clawed at himself. 'I can still smell him on me!' He cried, ripping at his shirt. 'You've got to help me!' He pleaded with damp eyes.  
'Sh...Sh...No, you can't. That was a long time now ago. Believe me, there's nothing I want more but now's not the right time.' Rob pulled him to him and cradled him against him. 'You're in a bad place. Think I'm going to take advantage of you like that?'  
The unadulterated truth was that Robert might have done a year ago. He'd treated Aaron like his own personal plaything back then. But things had changed. No, he corrected himself, he – Rob- had changed and Aaron had helped him change. Become a better person.  
Aaron went still and took comfort from the other's closeness as Rob rocked them slowly. Aaron realised that he was right – he'd mistaken his need for safety and comfort for sex. He didn't really want anything else -not with his childhood so close to the surface.  
'I can be yours today, Aaron. You don't have to sleep with me to make that happen.'  
He felt him tremble slightly before he nodded beneath his chin.  
'Do you want me to tell Chrissie I want to cancel the wedding when I go and see her?'  
Aaron paused. 'Yes.' He replied and tilted up his mouth for Robert to kiss.  
They broke up their heated kissing when the doorbell rang.  
'Aaron?' His stepfather's voice came through the glass door. 'Let me in.'  
'That's all we need.' Robert rolled his eyes. 'Doesn't he think I know how to take care of you?'  
'Shut up. He cares.'  
Robert helped him to the sofa – he was still feeling weak all over – he still wasn't quite right before he answered the door.  
'Hi.' Paddy said, glaring at his flushed cheeks in suspicion. 'Shouldn't you be with your fiancee?' He said, stressing that last word with an exaggerated lift of his eyebrow before he brushed past him in the hallway.  
Rob stared after him with his mouth gaping open but decided to ignore this dig. Especially as Paddy had known he was going to be the one to take care of Aaron 24/7, he didn't have to be so nasty. He could think of plenty of cutting comebacks but held his tongue because the very last thing that Aaron needed was them fighting. Anyway, soon everyone would know that they were together and Paddy would just have to accept it.  
The vet came into the living room and sat down near his stepson. 'Aaron? How you feeling, son?'  
'A bit better. Still a bit weak though.'  
'You look a bit better. I got you some grapes - traditional invalid food.' Paddy laughed. 'Oh – and some of the chocolate biscuits you like plus some fresh orange juice for vitamin C.' He put the gifts on the coffee-table.  
'I'm not an invalid but thanks.'  
'I'll make us some coffee or do you prefer tea, Paddy?' Robert offered.  
'Coffee, thanks.' He answered grudgingly.  
Aaron was wondering how Paddy and his mum would take the news that he and Robert were an item and he was dumping Chrissie weeks before he was supposed to marry her. He hadn't done it yet but Robert reckoned that their relationship would be over before lunchtime. He wondered how she was going to take it – he was almost certain that she'd already accused Rob of cheating on her with him while he'd been there taking care of him. Surely, it wouldn't be such a shock and she must be expecting something like this? Unfortunately, however, she wasn't the only one who could make things difficult between them - his 'real' parents (in his mind he thought of Paddy as his real Dad) weren't his boyfriend's biggest fans. Still, for all he knew, Paddy already suspected because he insisted on giving his friend the cold shoulder.  
'You nearly killed yourself this time, Aaron and we were really scared. Next time you might not be so lucky.' Paddy said as soon as Robert was out of earshot. 'When are you going to stop?'  
'I'm sorry for what I did but I think I can stop now.'  
'What changed?'  
Aaron gave him a small, enigmatic little smile.  
'You're not back with him, are you?' Paddy lowered his voice and looked back in the direction of the kitchen. 'What are you thinking? He's getting married!'  
'It's not that.' Aaron knew he wasn't lying exactly. It was talking about what happened to him as a child that had made him feel better.  
Little did he know that the worst was yet to come.  
He saw the vet looking at him sceptically so he changed the subject. 'Heard from Mum? Hope you didn't tell her anything about what happened.'  
'No, I haven't although I left her messages.' Paddy admitted. 'It was before you came round in the hospital and we thought you...might...'  
'I had to!'  
'Why did you do that? Said I didn't want her to know!'  
'Because she's your mother and she cares about you.'  
'Yeah? Well, she didn't seem to know I'd been in hospital. Didn't even know I was sick.'  
'That's strange because I sent her texts and left voice messages and she never called me back. And I didn't because then you said that you didn't want her to know.'  
Aaron frowned.  
'Everything OK in there?' Rob called from the kitchen.  
'Fine.' Paddy replied. 'Actually I better be going. Forget that coffee.' He snapped and glanced down at his watch. Got surgery at 10.'  
Rob had just come out carrying two steaming mugs and after the vet said his goodbyes with an icy look of warning directed at the young businessman, he sat down next to Aaron to drink it, handing him the coffee meant for Paddy. Afterwards, Rob made sure that Aaron took his pills and helped him upstairs to the bathroom.  
'When am I going to get my strength back?' Aaron cursed 'I'm not used to feeling like this, having to have someone help me take a piss!'  
'I reckon it's only for a couple of more days, if that. The doctor said you should take it easy and rest a lot. That way, you'll get better quicker.'  
Aaron scowled.  
After they came back down, Robert cleaned his cuts and put on a new clean bandage. Aaron winced a little but stayed still while he did it. When he finished, Rob couldn't resist bending down to lay a soft little kiss on his shoulder, surprising Aaron before he kissed his way up his throat to his lips.  
'Why can't we...?' Aaron wheedled, grabbing Rob's hair suddenly and twisting it to attack his throat. At the back of his mind, he still didn't trust Rob 100% not to go back on his word or just say he'd dumped her and carry on using him. 'I want you.'  
'I don't think it's a good idea...I've got to go...' Rob chuckled and disengaged himself from his tight grip. 'Ow...let me go.' But Aaron didn't want to let him go. Ever.  
'Are really going to break up with her? You said the same thing the whole time before... What if she starts crying?'  
'I'll deal with it.'  
Aaron released him with a sigh. 'Get back soon.' He reclined back and put his feet up on the table and switched to an old action movie he liked on cable.  
'When I come back, we'll be official. ' Rob gazed back at him, wondering at the rapid change for the better in him. Aaron really was the strongest person he'd ever met and that strength was part of his attraction.  
Yet right now, he was still fragile no matter how tough he acted or pretended that he'd got over Gordon.  
'Promise?' Aaron frowned unbelievingly.  
'Promise. All this has made me realise that you're all I want – always wanted, even if I couldn't admit it to myself.'  
Reassured at his words, Aaron grinned back at him happily.  
Robert strode over for another kiss and melted into Aaron's arms before he tore himself away with reluctance.  
'I don't want to go, believe me. I'd rather stay here with you.'  
'Better get on with it then. The sooner it's done, the sooner you can come back.'  
Robert beamed at him, amazed at the sudden change in him for the better. Anyone would have thought he was back to normal, no-one could imagine the things he was telling me earlier about what happened to him as a child, he thought to himself. 'I better go now otherwise I'll never get out of here. Laters.'  
'Good-luck. Laters.'  
However, unknown to either of them, someone was watching the house. The person had been there for nearly two hours, waiting patiently in hiding.  
Waiting for the perfect moment.  
….  
Gordon ducked behind the bush when the fat man came out of the house, shortly followed by a younger, taller blonde man dressed in a businessman's suit. He jingled the key in his pocket and smiled as he approached the door. Gordon wondered if this was the infamous Robert Sudgen who had seduced his gullible son into having an affair with him then dumped him like he was nothing. What was he doing there? At this thought, hot, molten jealousy filled the hollow in his chest but he did nothing because apparently according to Chas, all that was over between them. She had told him that while they weren't mates exactly, they were on civil enough terms. Probably nothing going on, he told himself.  
He hadn't been that surprised at the stories Chas had regaled him about his errant son who had turned out to be gay after a brief period of confusion over his sexual orientation and experimentation with girls. No wonder, when he'd enjoyed his Daddy's cock from such a young age. Apparently, he'd gone off the rails even more after he'd gone to live with her - drugs, fights, theft and even assisted suicide of his paraplegic ex-boyfriend which had led to all sorts of psychological problems like self-harm and suicide attempts. So, she thinks she can do it better, eh? The truth was that no-one could have tamed Aaron – he was simply uncontrollable and always went his own way. He'd even been accused of the murder of a local girl but was acquitted – it was later proved that he was innocent. Still, mud sticks. Now, however, he was settled down with his own car mechanic business and was paying his mortgage on his small flat just round the corner from his B&B. He was doing well now, according to her except for the occasional episode of self-harm when he was under stress – cutting himself mainly, she'd said but he was getting help for that.  
Gordon never stopped to consider that he might be the main cause of Aaron's psychological torment. He wondered what he'd been 'sick' with and if he had somehow inflicted it on himself. Chas never knew he'd been in hospital since he deleted her messages from Paddy – as far as she was concerned, he was as healthy as a horse and Paddy had never called back so Gordon assumed that whatever had been wrong with Aaron had resolved itself. 

He had found Aaron out now to make sure that he continued to keep his mouth shut about the special father-son games they had played when he was little and not ruin his father's impending nuptials. Gordon was pretty sure he'd kept quiet about that – he'd explained patiently to him time and time again that most people wouldn't understand and that his Dad would go to prison while he would go to kiddie-prison. And there would be big, bad boys there who would not be as gentle with him as his own father was. Eventually, he'd also managed to convince him that or no-one would believe him anyway.  
But those memories of taking his son again and again and the little noises he used to make of protest or his cries of pain or pathetic little pleas for him to stop (pretending not to like it – they both had to because it had been a punishment after all) - had kept the father going through the long years of estrangement. Particularly when there was nothing better to be had around. Gordon still didn't know why his son had refused to have anything to do with him but he was going to find out today. He'd get the answer out of Aaron.  
Gordon was determined to force Aaron to reconcile with him, one way or another because the little fuck-up wasn't going to get in the way of his remarriage and second chance of happiness with his mother because he knew that Chas could never be completely happy while there was this animosity between the men in her life.  
In short, Aaron was acting like a spoilt brat upsetting his mother and needed to be disciplined.  
Whistling to himself, Gordon strode up the driveway and paused at the white-washed front door before letting himself. He paused a little to watch his son, oblivious, watch Die Hard 2 blaring out of the TV. He didn't even notice him creep up behind him.  
'Hello, little boy.'  
Aaron flinched at the sound of his voice and turned around to stare at him in sheer disbelief. His face grew pale and his heart started galloping in his chest as he faced his father alone for the first time in years.  
'How the fuck did you get in here?' He spat, rage descending his features to hide his fear.


	9. Invasion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh, no, what are Gordon's true motivations? Will Aaron be able to make him leave in his weakened state? If not, what happens if Robert doesn't come back in time?
> 
> If you like this story or even if you don't, please review or leave a comment. The writer would be over the moon at any feedback! Thanks.

'Hello, little boy.'  
Those words spoken in that voice were enough to freeze the blood in his veins and take him back right back there.  
'How the fuck did you get in here?' He had asked in his shock, still feeling weak but trying to sound strong.  
Gordon smirked and dangled Chas' keys in his son's face. Aaron flinched and drew back before he realised what he was doing and straightened up resolutely to glare back at him.  
'Get out!'  
'What?' Gordon put on a stricken expression. 'You've refused to speak to me since I got back. After seven years! I'm hurt.'  
'Can you blame me?'  
Gordon sank down on the sofa opposite his son, ignoring the furious look on his face.  
'Not this again.' He sighed dramatically. You know I had to chuck you out ...and I'm sorry about that - but you hit Sandra. I couldn't let you stay in the house with her after that. You were completely off the rails.' Gordon was being deliberately obtuse, enjoying playing with his son who was scared out of his wits despite how hard he tried to hide it.  
'Yeah? I wonder why? Actually, throwing me out was the best thing you ever did for me, Dad.' He spat. 'It's not that...You..you... know what you did!'  
'What did I do, son?' He asked kindly. 'I know I had to discipline you sometimes but I didn't like doing it. Do you know hard it was to be a single father? Especially of a boy like you...I tried my best to love you but you were just born bad.'  
'I'm not bad! You're the one that's evil - you're fucking sick!'  
Gordon carried on like he hadn't been interrupted. 'Everyone hated you. Why do you think your mum left? Even she couldn't stand the sight of you.'  
'Liar!' Aaron yelled back defiantly but to his horror, he felt his eyes get wet at his cruel words in front of the man he hated most in the whole world, even though he'd told himself that he didn't care. Being close to tears was a normal state for him these days but when Rob had told him that he was going to dump Chrissie, he'd let himself have one moment of happiness and hope. Now his joy was all but shattered and he was left full of doubt again, unable to trust anyone, including his boyfriend.  
'Oh...don't cry.' Gordon crooned and started to go over to him. 'Things can only get better.'  
'I'm not! Anyway, she'll never marry you when I tell her what you did! ' He sniffed and wiped his eyes. 'Stay away from me!'  
Gordon complied, hovering indecisively before he gave up and sat back down again.  
Robert, where the hell are you? Are you really going to break up with Chrissie or did you just say that to string me along? Aaron thought miserably in his head. Come back – I really need you!' He thought of his phone for the first time since his father showed up and reached for it on the coffee-table among his stepfather's offerings but ended up flailing after it in vain after his father snatched it away like lightning with a smirk.  
'Give it back to me!'  
'Come and get it, little boy.' Gordon laughed.  
'Don't call me that! I swear if you don't leave now, I'll...I'll...'  
'What are you going to do?'  
Aaron lunged at him but struggled to get up. Blushing with fury and frustration, he sank back onto the cushions. Gordon frowned at him and seemed to notice the bandages on his wrists for the first time and his eyes narrowed as if reconsidering something.  
'What's wrong with you?'  
'Like you care.' He snapped back. 'Just get out.'  
Gordon was undetered. 'Why are your wrists bandaged up? What happened?'  
'Nothing. None of your business.  
'Chas told me that you've been cutting yourself. For years, she said. What a pathetic fuck-up.'  
'She told you about that?' Aaron whispered in mortification and stared down at the swirly patterns on the red carpet. They made him feel like he was going crazy because his Dad couldn't really be there with him, saying these things and getting inside his head.  
'She's told me everything. About her breakdown. About Paddy and all your...problems. How you helped your boyfriend Jackson kill himself...'  
'Keep him out of this!' Aaron felt like he'd been raped by his mother this time but in a different way, he couldn't bear the monster to know inside his head. The things that were still raw and painful...those things that if he let him, would drive him on to turn his skin into shreds.  
Because if she'd told his father everything...He shook his head to clear it.  
'OK...OK...' Gordon held his hands up in surrender. 'That's obviously still raw for you', he said as if reading his mind. 'Shouldn't have brought him up...' He mocked and grinned knowingly at him.  
'You're twisted, you know that?'  
'Don't blame Chas. She thought it's only right that we don't have any secrets from each other before we tie the knot. Fresh start. Besides, it's not like I'm a stranger – I'm your father!'  
'You'll never be my father.' He snapped back but Gordon ignored him. 'Haven't been since...' He muttered under his breath.  
'I'm hurt. Now I know what Paddy meant on the phone….did you really do that to yourself, Aaron?'  
He frowned in confusion. 'What Paddy meant?'  
'I deleted his messages to your mother but not before I listened to them. Putting two and two together I guess that the cuts got infected, didn't they? And you had to go into hospital.'  
Aaron knew Paddy had tried to contact Chas and he'd been surprised that she hadn't been over to the hospital like a shot – holiday or no holiday but he'd been relieved that she hadn't for whatever reason. But now he knew that it was because of his father's doing and he felt that familiar helpless rage bubbling up inside him. If only he had the strength to punch his smug face in..., the thought to himself bitterly.  
'What?' Aaron wished he had a gun to shoot the bastard dead. 'You went through her phone?' His voice rose in outrage.  
'Of course. Didn't know what you might be saying about me to her behind my back. The lies you might be poisoning her with just because you don't want us to get married...'  
'I didn't tell her anything!'  
'And you better not if you know what's good for you. No-one will believe a self-harming little screw-up like you anyway.'  
'Get out, now!' Aaron was so angry that he forgot and tried to get up again but his legs gave way and he slumped back helplessly down on the sofa, cursing. Gordon watched him coldly as if sizing him up and Aaron could almost see the cogs going around his head. It filled him full of that familiar sense of dread but he refused to show it.  
'Can't even stand up, can you? And you got no-one else to blame because you did it all to yourself. You're pathetic, you know that?'  
'Not as pathetic as you. Thinking you can just come back here after what you did and everything'll be like it was!'  
'Maybe. But at least I'm reaching out to you, son. I beat cancer and there you are, doing your level best to kill yourself, throwing your life away when you have your health and your whole life in front of you. You ungrateful, wretched little...'  
'I swear, if you don't leave now, I'll...'  
'You'll do what? Start crying again?'  
'Paddy said he'd be over to check on me before he starts work. You should go, Gordon.'  
The father winced at being called that before he could stop himself.  
'I'm not going anywhere. Not until I'm finished with you.' He leered at him and Aaron's heart sank at what he was implying. But he couldn't believe it.  
'Rob should be back anytime soon and when he does, he's going to beat the shit out of you!' He tried to convince him.  
'Is that your boyfriend? Isn't he engaged to a woman?'  
'None of your business!'  
'He is, isn't he? Son...I don't know what you think I did to you but you're not well.'  
'I ain't crazy and I remember what you used to do to me!'  
'Calm down, now. I know you didn't have the guts to tell him anything, too afraid he'll drop you like a steaming turd if he knew the truth about you which he would for sure. Your mother tells me he's about to get married to a real looker and rich too, apparently so why would he give all her up for someone like you?'  
'I'll tell!' Aaron wasn't going to talk about Rob and Chrissie with his father.  
'Oh, Aaron.' Gordon sighed sorrowfully. 'Who do you think's going to believe you? You have such serious psychological problems...' He shook his head in apparent sympathy.  
'Wouldn't have anything to do with the fact that you used to rape me when I was a little boy, you fucking bastard, would it?' He spat.  
Gordon recoiled with a sharp intake of breath as his face paled despite himself. 'Now, I wouldn't call it that. I was strict with you but I had to be. I never hit you, not like the other dads.'  
'Rob'll be here any minute now and when he sees you, he'll...'  
'You think your little floppy haired fag boyfriend has a chance against me? That's if he even bothers to come back here?'  
Aaron ignored the jibe although just like a homing missile, his father had homed in on his insecurities. 'He'll kill you. I mean it - this is your last chance. Get out.'  
'You don't tell me what to do. I'm your father! And I think it's about time I show you who's in charge around here.' With that chilling threat, Gordon grinned and got up suddenly to rapidly closed the distance between them.  
'No...'Aaron drew back and Gordon revelled in the fear he saw in his eyes as he bore down on him.  
'Ooh...Is the poor baby's going to cry?' He reached down to brush off a tear or two from his cheek and licked his finger, savouring the warm and salty wetness of it.  
'I'll tell Mum!' The young man tried that old threat again that he used when he was younger but it didn't work now just like it never did then.  
'And ruin her happiness after all she's been through lately? She'll hate you for it forever. That's if she even believes you.'  
'She will! She knows when I'm telling the truth!'  
'No, you won't.' Gordon stroked his hair tenderly while he made noises of disgust and recoiled as far back as he could against the sofa cushions but there was no escape from his father's touch. 'You know you won't. Otherwise you would have done it a long time ago.'  
Aaron tore his head away in humiliation, hating how like nothing his father could still make him feel, how hopeless and helpless like a child again. How he knew all his weaknesses and could read him like a book.  
'Get down here.' Gordon forced his son face down into the sofa before he started tearing his clothes off him from behind.  
Aaron willed his body to fight him off but his father merely laughed at his feeble efforts. 'Weak as a lamb,' He hissed in his ear before he sucked on his ear-lobe. 'Weak as a little lamb', he crooned at him.  
'No!' He twisted his head away but Gordon laid a tender kiss on his throat instead.  
'Don't! You can't do this!'  
'Sh...'  
'No!'  
'Stop fighting me, son. You couldn't stop me before and you can't stop me now. I'm doing this to put you back in your place. About time someone did, getting cocky lately, boy.' He drawled out that word to make it sound dirty.  
'Please, Dad. I don't feel well. My cuts...I'm on antibiotics!' He couldn't hold back his sobs because now it was happening again. He was a fully-grown man and he still couldn't stop his father taking him. This new knowledge was the worst aspect of the whole thing. If only he wasn't so ill...  
'I feel sick.' He moaned.  
'Shut up.' His rapist snarled at him impatiently.  
'Don't make me, Dad. Please don't make me. I'll be a good boy from now on, I promise. Won't tell anyone...Just don't...' Aaron unconsciously fell back into the old promises of childhood.  
Gordon bent down to examine him closer, circling his hole tentatively and testing it with a finger to watch its reaction.  
Aaron, to his mortification, gasped and squirmed, his body betraying him.  
'See? I knew you'd like it. Especially as you haven't been letting your little fag boyfriend inside you lately, eh? You're tight as a drum.'  
'I don't like it! Stop!'  
'Unfortunately, it looks like we'll just have to make do with my spit.'  
True to his word, Gordon smirked as he began to prepare his terrified son using just his saliva.  
'The foreplay's the most important part, eh? Get you nice and ready for me...'  
Aaron squeezed his eyes shut in fear and froze. But he soon trembled and hissed in pain when his father hurriedly prepared him by shoving one finger, two, then three at a time inside him, making his eyes sting.  
But no matter how much it hurt, he wasn't going to cry.


	10. Proof

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hi thanks for the wonderful comments and reviews with some readers telling me that you can't wait for the next chapter, you really spur me on to write! So if you like this story and even if you don't and just want to leave some constructive criticism, please keep them coming! I'm really loving writing this and I can see several scenarios playing out in my head, I just have to pick the best one.  
> ***  
> So, Gordon has finally got Aaron on his own and is revelling in his temporary weakness and using it to his full advantage. Poor Aaron! Hasn't he been through enough already? Surely someone will come and save him? Rob's supposed to be on the way back but what happened with Chrissie? If he backs out and doesn't break up with her, would he bother coming back to check on Aaron like he promised? Not only would that leave him completely heartbroken when he desperately needs his support but it would abandon him also to the tender mercies of his so-called father!

***  
'The foreplay's the most important part, eh? Get you nice and ready for me...'  
Unknown to either of them, Robert had let himself in quietly with Aaron's own spare key and was about to shout out a happy greeting but when he heard the raised voices and then his boyfriend started to sob (he'd just told Chrissie about them and allowed himself the privilege to think of Aaron as his now) and he stopped himself just in time with his mouth open in horror. From the corner of the hall corridor where the door was open, he could see who he guessed was Gordon on top of Aaron, preparing him. Worst of all, Aaron looked like he was not putting up a fight but had tears running down his face in defeat. Their similarities were too prominent to be mistaken - same build but different coloured hair and but there were other intangible sameness that he couldn't quite put his finger on. Rob's first instinct of course, was to go over there and beat the shit out of the son-raping bastard. Instead though, with a wrench in his gut, he hesitated and set his phone to quietly record video. He told himself he wouldn't let Gordon rape Aaron but he needed the evidence as much as it hurt to see his boyfriend suffer. Didn't mean that he didn't hate himself for it and he could only hope that Aaron wouldn't and would eventually see this as a means to get rid of his evil father once and for all.  
Luckily, it looked like Gordon was more interested in mocking his son and dragging out the torment before the main event, he so confident was he that no-one would find them. He hadn't believed the boy when he said that Rob and Paddy were coming over – Gordon knew he would say anything to stop or at least delay what was about to happen.  
'Fuck. You don't know how much I missed doing this. I remember your first time when you were so scared...didn't have a clue what was going on...'  
'I was 8, you fucking pervert!' Aaron snapped back and then let out only another anguished sob but otherwise made no other sound as his father ground himself against him. Gordon wasn't entering him just yet but was content on merely giving his throat disgusting, wet little kisses while he touched himself and groaned behind him.  
'Get off me!' Aaron suddenly found his voice again and tried one last time to buck him off but failed miserably. Gordon chuckled and easily slammed him back down again.  
'Stop! I don't want this!' He wailed and let out an angry-sounding sob of frustration despite his resolve not to cry. The monster always knew what to say to get at him and he raised his head then in misery but when he glimpsed Rob, his eyes grew wide in hopeful surprise. His boyfriend put a finger to his lip. 'I won't let him hurt you, just hold on.' He mouthed over at him and pointed at the mobile phone in his other hand which Aaron could see was recording. The young man nodded resolutely and steeled himself to endure. He knew that he only had to say the word and Rob would make it all stop, one way or another. Fortunately, Gordon was having the time of his life getting himself excited and prolonging his 'punishment' that he didn't notice that they had a witness. Still, Rob did his best to make himself invisible but he was a tall man and it was hard to find space to hide in the cluttered doorway without making it impossible to film properly.  
Clearly relieved now, Aaron slumped in apparent submission and let his father carry on digging himself a hole. Gordon, having no idea, sighed happily and stroked his hair as a reward, thinking that he had consented finally, making him cringe back. However, having Rob nearby making him feel safer made him think that he could stand it but the question was, how long would that be until it was over? How much evidence did they need? But Aaron knew he was tough enough and strong enough to take it, after all, he'd survived before when he was younger and smaller and much weaker and knew that he could survive it again. Trying to block out his father's swinish noises of pleasure and his gropes and sleazy caresses, he wondered dully if Robert had kept his promise and come clean to Chrissie. If he still really loved him and would stick by him after seeing this. But he came back, he told himself. He wouldn't have done that unless...He must have...  
'I'll tell Mum!' He suddenly burst out, thinking of that recording his boyfriend was making, even under these circumstances. 'She'll never marry you when she hears about this!' Rob's presence gave him the strength and defiance that he might not otherwise have.  
'Want to bet on it? Prove it. She never could function properly without a man to look after her and it was so easy to get the stupid slut into bed.'  
'Don't call her that! She's not!'  
Gordon grabbed his hair and ground himself harder against his crack, drawing cries of revulsion from his victim.  
'I reckon I can wrap her around my little finger...Even if you did get the courage to tell her about us, she would never believe you.' He panted between moans. 'Because I can make her believe anything I want and you're just a mentally ill little boy.'  
'Fuck you! I wish you'd died of cancer!' That stopped him and got him to back off a little.  
Only a little.  
'Now, now...' His father patted his back soothingly, his 'patience and understanding' making him want to retch. 'You don't really mean that. Deep down, you still love me. All little boys love their Daddies.'  
'No, I don't! I fucking hate you! Always have!'  
'Now that ain't true. If I was abusing you in those disgusting ways like you claim', he grimaced despite himself, 'why did you choose to live with me and not Chas? But you're right, if I did what you said I did, I do deserve to die.'  
'Because you hadn't started doing it to me then!'  
'Still...Doesn't exactly add up, does it? What do you think a court would make of it?'  
Robert caught his eye then and nodded encouragingly. Aaron had time to think about how surreal the situation was – here he was getting raped by his own father while his boyfriend filmed the whole thing as he tried to coax a confession out of Gordon.  
'Why did you do it to me, Dad? Why did you rape me?' Thinking of the video, Aaron got them right back on track. At least when we're talking, he's distracted, he thought bitterly to himself. Behind him he could sense Rob egging him on but he didn't look at him again. He wasn't that stupid.  
Gordon didn't even bother to deny it like he did before. 'Because you were bad. A bad little boy like you deserved some 'special' punishment because 'normal' punishments didn't work on you. Same reason I'm doing it now.'  
Aaron buried his face into the cushions and sobbed at that but had the presence of mind to say, 'But you didn't just rape me once. You did it loads of times! It really hurt, Dad! And I said 'No' and 'Stop' everytime! Why did you...?'  
Unaffected by his tears, his father answered coldly, 'That's right. It was meant to. Had to discipline you somehow everytime you stepped out of line. And believe me, that was a lot.'  
'And there were those other things you made me do to you...' Aaron wept pitifully.  
'And you were very good at 'em. Reckon I can get a nice blowjob from you or a quickie at least whenever I want after this, eh, son? Even if I am with your mother – she's so boring in bed. Always the same thing with her and she ain't got nothing on my own sweet son. Wouldn't that be exciting?'  
'Ugh!' Aaron really didn't want to hear that. 'You're sick! If you think...Anyway, I'm moving away!'  
'You do that and it'll be your mother who pays the price.' Gordon snarled and that feral animal look was back on his face before he grabbed his hips so hard that he left bruises on them to yank him closer to him.  
'What? You threatening Chas now, you bastard?' Aaron retorted. 'You touch her and I'll...I'll...'  
'I'll do what I want with her and you. You think you being an adult's going stop me? Didn't stop me today, won't stop me tomorrow, even if you are sick. Ooh....I can just picture the treat we're going to have on your 21st next week...'  
'Fuck off. Ain't never gonna happen. You'll be either in prison or dead by then... Dead, I hope.'  
'Ooh, what a hard little man...You going to kill me?' He scoffed. 'I know you're more likely to kill yourself.' He cooed and laughed in cheerful mirth before he let out a long moan as he started to make himself hard again. He loved teasing himself – bringing himself almost to the brink, stopping and starting again to draw it out for Aaron – maximise the humiliation and prolong the punishment and the pleasure (for him) as long as possible. It also gave the father the best orgasms of his life that way when he finally came inside his own son.  
'And you know why I can? I mean - can do this whenever I want?' He asked between gasps, not penetrating him yet but just getting himself excited.  
'No.' Aaron shook his head and sobbed, letting out a loud wail of pain and shock when he felt his father pull back test his hole again, this time plunging in three fingers up to the knuckle without warning. Rob started and nearly jumped up but stopped hmself just in time because Aaron hadn't given the signal yet. Somehow he knew that he needed his father to go as far as possible ...for all of this to be as convincing as it could be. Rob had just enough time to think that he'd never met anyone so brave or so beautiful.  
'Stop! It hurts so much...Please don't, Dad. I can suck you off if you like instead...'  
But Gordon was oblivious to anything now other than his own twisted pleasure. 'You know why I can do this?' He repeated. 'Because I created you so I'm part of you and when I'm inside you, it's like being inside myself!' He laughed like a madman. 'Yes - like having sex with myself but this time it's real!' He said between pants and groans. 'Your mother never made me come so hard as I do with you...No woman could ever match you in bed...'  
Both Aaron and Rob nearly choked on this but managed to bring themselves back under control. Of course Aaron knew what Rob was trying to do – was asking him to do but it was pure torture every second that passed. The young man had a fleeting sense of gratification however, when he thought how this would sound to his mother when he had her listen to the recording. That this would turn her against Gordon for certain if nothing else did even if she didn't care about him anymore. Aaron knew that telling his mother would hurt him more than anything because hurting her would hurt him more than anything his father had ever done to him, if that was possible.  
He looked over at Rob who nodded and was just about to reveal himself before his father frowned and stopped again, checking his hole as if reconsidering.  
'Just relax, will you?' He barked at him before he slid in just one finger this time. Even so, Aaron jerked in shock and cried out in pain.  
'Daaaad....' The 'boy' wailed. 'Please don't...We can just stop now and I won't tell anyone, promise! I'll start showing you respect in front of mum and I won't cause any trouble, just stop right now...'  
Gordon acted like he didn't hear him. 'I take it back about using just my saliva because you're so fucking tight. Don't think I can even get inside with you like this...Think I can find something that'll serve for lube in the kitchen.' With that, he grabbed his hastily discarded belt from the floor and tied his unresisting son's hands to the metal leg of the sofa. 'Don't go anywhere until I get back, will you?' He kissed his cheek, causing him to wrench his head away. Gordon's eyes widened as if in surprise – maybe even in hurt as ridiculous as that was but he didn't comment before he padded off stark naked and already semi-limp to look for something to use on his son.  
Aaron raised his eyes in misery and humiliation to his lover's while Robert nodded and mouthed 'You did great' as he started to get up and go over to him. As he did so, he turned off his mobile and slid it safely into an inner pocket of his padded winter jacket which he did up, despite the hot flat which was very well heated. Aaron even managed to return a small smile in reply despite his tears. He'd been deliberately drawing out his father to make him incriminate himself but the rest of it – including his tears – all had been 100% genuine. Even the desperate offers of oral sex he'd just blurted out – anything to make it stop - and now he desperately wanted to take it all back. He sounded like a whore and a coward to his ears and was already having second thoughts about letting anyone else listen to that, not only his mother even if they did remove those bits.  
Meanwhile, they could hear the invader moving around in the kitchen.  
They had to work fast.  
Robert rushed over to untie him while both of them kept an ear out for Gordon. Absurdly, he was cheerfully singing The Troggs' 'Wild thing, you make my heart sing' in quite a good voice as he bustled around opening and shutting cupboards and drawers in his search.  
'You OK?' Robert knew that it was a stupid and pointless question but he didn't know what else to say.  
He nodded and reached for his jeans while Rob helped him get them on. In their haste, they didn't worry about his black silk boxers lying discarded on the floor where Gordon had thrown them after he tore them off him. Literally torn them off in his lust because there they were, lying ruined with a massive rip down the middle. Aaron stared at them awhile with an indescrible expression on his face before he turned away while Rob was regarding them with a more practical set of mind, thinking that he would save them as evidence.  
Rob grabbed his shirt but Aaron shook his head. He wanted to be decent but wasn't that fussed about his upper half. Anyway, he felt like he'd never feel clean again and all he wanted was gallons of hot water with soap and tons of bubble-bath.  
'Did you get it all?' The younger man hissed.  
Rob nodded as the sounds of activity – banging cupboards and the cheery singing had given way to impatient curses. Gordon was obviously not satisfied with whatever oily/greasy substance he'd found to use on Aaron and was completely unaware that they'd been joined by a third party.  
'What are we going to do?' Aaron whispered and glanced back fearfully over his shoulder.  
'Confront him, of course.' Rob had never wanted a gun so much in his life before. He thought about running back and grabbing the one he used for hunting (he had a license) but quickly gave up on that idea. No way was he going to leave Aaron alone with that monster when he couldn't defend himself.  
'Then you best get behind that screen and hit him over the head with something when he comes back out.' Aaron pointed to the hanging screen made of bamboo that covered one side of the door into the kitchen. It was only there for a decoration and quite loose – a full-grown man could stand behind it easily.  
'Good idea.' Rob nodded and did exactly that but when Gordon came out, clutching the pat of butter from out of the fridge in one paw, he didn't even look surprised to see Aaron with his hands free and dressed. Instead, he slammed down the butter onto the table and rounded on Rob's hiding place without warning – exactly where he was and dragged him out. Neither of the boys could understand how he knew, he must have heard them talking. Aaron knew he was sly that way and could act for England from bitter personal experience.  
'You little pervert.' He grabbed Rob by the throat. 'Admit it. You liked spying on us, didn't you?'  
'You're the only pervert around here! Raping your own son! I saw you!' Rob retorted and tried to bring up his knee into his exposed groin with a grimace of revulsion. But he didn't have enough room for manouevre and only managed to get him in the stomach. Gordon moaned and clutched himself but briefly and Aaron could only watch and wish he could join in as he waited with bated breath to see the outcome. Not for the first time, he cursed himself for getting sick.  
Rob got in a few more punches, bloodying his mouth and Aaron could see that he was ready to kill him. Unfortunately, Gordon unexpectedly skipped back a few paces and then rushed Rob without warning and caught him off guard. Afterwards, he hrew him against the wall so hard that when his head connected with it, Rob saw stars and immediately blacked out.  
'Rob! Rob! Wake up!' Aaron yelled in panic but to his fear, he didn't react.  
Then he yelled at his father, 'You better not have killed him!'  
Gordon turned around to smirk at him. 'Don't be silly, boy.' He patronised him. 'Your little boyfriend's just got a little concussion, that's all. Might be a bit confused when he wakes up – you know - memory loss – and you better make sure it stays lost if you don't want anything bad to happen to him.' With that, Gordon leered down at the terrified young man and started to make his way over to him.


	11. Father

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well, it looks like Gordon has won and he's going to get what he wanted after all. But they still have the video (I hope). 
> 
> What does this mean for the boys' relationship?

Then Gordon glanced at the clock on the wall and frowned. 'That the time already? Sorry, son, no playtime today. He leered down again at the terrified young man who shrank away from him against the back of the couch. 'Still scared of Daddy? You are, aren't you? Aah..there's no need.' He reached down and ran his hand through Aaron's hair. He did it a couple of times. 'Daddy's not going to hurt you.'  
Aaron turned away and let out a sob and then Gordon let him go. It was like that was what he'd been waiting for – his total breakdown and submission.  
Gordon suddenly turned angry. 'If you want to blame someone for spoiling our fun, blame him!' With a look of fury, he started to aim a kick at the unconscious young businessman but Aaron interrupted him before he could strike.  
'Get away from him or I swear I'll...I'll...'  
'You'll do what? Can't even stand up, little boy, let alone stand up to me.' He scoffed.  
'I ain't a little boy – never was one, all thanks to you! And when I'm better, I'm going to make you pay! For everything, you sick bastard!...If you've hurt him...'  
Gordon laughed as he pulled on his clothes, not bothering to be be modest, flaunting himself in front of him making Aaron turn away in disgust. 'Well, this has been very nice and I hope we can do it again soon.' He said pleasantly.  
'NEVER!'  
'Don't be angry with me, it's not my fault we ran out of time. I can't exactly perform,' he dragged out that word sleazily and licked his lips, 'with him about to wake up any minute.' He jerked his head in Rob's direction and Aaron saw to his deep concern that he was showing no signs of life.  
'See – I promised to take your mother out to lunch and she'll be calling me soon to find out where I got to.'  
Gordon picked up his son's phone next and waved it teasingly in front of him. Aaron lunged for it but could only reach so far. Naturally, he didn't want to get too close to him for numerous reasons.  
'Give it back!'  
'No, I don't think so. Looks like an old one, like your mum's. I bet it doesn't even have a password.'  
'You're a dead man, Gordon!'  
'Bye-bye, baby, bye-bye.' Gordon did peekaboo at him and cackled before he turned around and left.  
Aaron ignored him and buried his face in a cushion until his father was safely out of the door while he felt his tears trickling down out of the corner of his eyes and onto the couch. The final humiliation of having his phone taken and being too weak to get it back from him stung like hell adding to the feeling of helplessness he always felt in his father's presence.  
No matter how old or big he got.  
***  
'Rob! Rob! Are you OK?' Aaron tried his best to crawl over to him but soon gave up as soon as he heard the front door slam shut. His legs just wouldn't obey his brain and he was out of his mind with worry.  
'Fuck!' He screamed in frustration when he realised that he couldn't even reach the house-phone to call for help. Just then, however, the other man came to, shaking his head and groaning. 'What happened?' He moaned, touching the egg-shaped bump on the back of his skull gingerly.  
'Gordon – that's what happened. You might be concussed – in that case, we should get you checked out.'  
Rob shook his head. 'I'll be fine. Don't worry about me.' Yet his head was still buzzing and he couldn't think clearly or recall the details , then it came back all at once and his face showed a kaleidoscope of fleeting emotions as it all came back to him. He was by the other's side on the sofa like a shot. 'Oh my God...Did he...did he...you... while I was out of it?'  
'No.'  
Rob let out a long, shaky sigh of relief.  
'I think it put him off when he saw you and he wasn't in the mood after.' He let out a bitter, little laugh that hurt his boyfriend's heart. 'He just left and took my phone with him, the bastard. But not without threatening me and my mum first.'  
Robert would have taken him into his arms then but Aaron shrugged him off.  
'Sorry.' He replied to his boyfriend's hurt expression. 'I can't...not after...'  
'That's alright. I understand.' Rob was obviously still feeling hurt but he let it go before he jerked upright as if something important had just occurred to him. 'Then we have to warn her! He's a psycho!' He grabbed his phone out of his pocket. 'Fuck!' He cursed, holding the back of his head with one hand. 'It hurts!'  
Aaron shook his head. 'He won't do anything to her, I know he won't. He's old school. But he'll come after you and me. At least to make sure we both keep our mouths shut.'  
'Are you sure he won't hurt her?'  
Aaron nodded. 'Doesn't believe in hurting women but when it comes to his own little boy...well that's different.' His voice cracked and he looked down ashamedly and all Robert wanted to do was comfort him but he forced himself to hold back. 'God – how many times I used to wish he'd just hit me instead of the other things he did.'  
'Sh...sh...We got him now, we got him.'  
'I know.' He sighed but didn't look happy.  
'The way he kept calling you 'sweetheart' and 'little boy' and the other creepy things he was saying to you...literally made my skin crawl. Did you have to grow up listening to that?'  
Aaron shrugged. 'Doesn't matter now. We got the the video – it recorded everything, right?'  
Rob pressed a few buttons to check it was all there and they listened to Gordon's sleazy voice and Aaron's own sounds of protest for a few seconds until with a look of disgust, he closed the video.  
Now it was Aaron's turn to breathe a shaky sigh of relief despite his growing doubts about using it even though he knew that Rob could probably edit and cut out the bits he didn't want.  
'Don't you see? Him being himself and not holding anything back works in our favour because he just made himself look a thousand times worse. It was worth it all just to catch the bastard.'  
'Where do you think he's gone? What do you think he'll do next?' For some reason, Rob felt that he was more concerned about Gordon than Aaron was.. His boyfriend, on the other hand seemed surprisingly calm . But worryingly, Rob had an inkling that he was still in shock and that it was only the calm before the storm hit.  
'Rob, did you really break up with Chrissie?'  
He nodded. 'She weren't best pleased. No, that's the underestimation of the century.'  
'Was...was she OK?'  
'No. Screamed at me that she was going to tell all my clients.'  
'Will she?'  
'I don't think so. Her bite's worse than her bark.'  
'Let's hope so. What's going to happen when everyone else finds out?' Aaron looked worried.  
'They'll have to deal with it. Because we're together now, aren't we?'  
He didn't answer directly. 'I need a bath.' He shuddered. 'Can you help me up to the bathroom? I feel like I'll never be clean.'  
'But aren't we going to the police first to show them the video? You shouldn't wash any of it off.'  
Aaron stared at him, not comprehending at first. 'Can't I do that after?'  
'I mean, there may ...may be some of him still on you. DNA and...and other...things. Rob explained hesitantly, trying to be as delicate as possible.  
Aaron grimaced in disgust and turned his head away before he turned back to him. 'You mean...like do a rape-kit? But he didn't rape me!' The fear in his voice was clear.  
'Only because he didn't get the chance. But he was rub...I mean he was behind you and you were both naked so there's probably some evidence.'  
'I said I need a BATH!' Aaron closed his eyes and moaned.  
'Look, I know how you feel but we should go to the cops first.'  
'No! You ever been raped? You can't understand what it's like! I fucking need to wash! I feel so dirty...' He scratched his skin until Rob stilled his hands until he tore them away, afraid that he would tear off the bandages.  
Robert blanched and looked away. 'Believe me, I understand more than you know.' He muttered under his breath, not meaning for him to hear. But Aaron did.  
'What?' Aaron breathed, eyes huge and full of tears. For his boyfriend now as well as for himself. The thought of anyone, especially someone he cared about going through what he did was somehow worse than anything Gordon ever did to him.  
'Nothing'. Rob mumbled. 'Doesn't matter now.'  
'Tell me.' Aaron was gently insistent. 'Please, Rob.' He added softly and touched his arm. Rob raised his eyebrows and looked at him in surprise.  
'I don't matter. It's you who's the important one in all of this. We have to make him pay.'  
'No – don't tell me it happened to you as well.' Aaron wasn't listening as he finally let the tears spill over again. 'I couldn't bear ...Who was it? When? How?' His voice rose. 'Was it anyone we know?'  
'I wish I hadn't said anything, it was selfish of me. You don't need to hear it...Now are we going to the police or not? He's still out there...might hurt someone, maybe not Chas but someone else...he's a fucking nutter, after all.'  
' You don't think....' He paused and went pale while Rob cursed himself for worrying him. But he had to get him to the police as soon as possible.  
He wouldn't be distracted though. 'When were you going to tell me?'  
'Probably never. It just kind of slipped out just now.'  
'You'll tell me later?'  
'Maybe. But now is really not the right time. Let's make sure we get Gordon first.'  
Aaron sighed. 'Fine. I'm not telling anyone about what just happened here, not the police, not Paddy, not my uncle, and especially not my mum. She couldn't handle it....'  
Rob stared at him aghast, unable to believe this sudden turnaround. 'Aaron...Everything you suffered to get proof and now you're just going to give up?'  
'Well, I changed my mind, OK? I can do that, can't I? Besides, I couldn't bear anyone else seeing it, especially not her! Delete it!'  
'Aaron...'  
'I said DELETE it! NOW!'  
'OK...OK...But can I do it in a minute?' Robert was devastated as he agreed because really, what other choice did he have? He knew that he wasn't going to go against Aaron's wishes or try to force him to do something he didn't want to do. That would make him no better than Gordon.  
'But you heard what he said about doing it again, even when he's married to your mum!'  
Aaron grimaced. 'He won't be able to because next time I won't be sick and I'll kill him if he comes near me again. However he sees me in his sick head, I'm not a little boy and I can fight him off next time.  
'Yeah, but still...Are you sure? You don't want to be looking over your shoulder all the time.'  
'If you really cared about me, you'd help me. You'd do what I asked.'  
'I already told you that I do.'  
'Then you can you start by running me a hot bath and helping me up the stairs?' He shuddered. 'So dirty, so filthy...Never get clean ever again...' He fell back into the same litany and started scrabbling at his skin until Rob stopped him for the second time.  
With a sigh, Robert did as he was bid knowing that once more Gordon was going to get away with it and he couldn't help worrying what he was doing now. Whatever it was, it wouldn't be good for Aaron or him. He was a Class A psychopath, after all.  
Rob helped him into the bathroom and left while he went to the toilet. But he knocked when he heard it flush.  
'Yeah, come in.' Aaron was sitting there on top of the toilet seat looking surprised. They were supposed to be together after all (but Aaron was starting to have his doubts about that as well because what else could he do but leave if he wasn't going to confront Gordon. He felt really bad about building Rob's hopes like that but it was kinder in the long run) but he appreciated him trying to be a gentleman anyway.  
Rob, for his part was worrying about their future together and wondering how he could convince Aaron to take the video to the police. Of course he hadn't deleted it yet, just in case Aaron changed his mind. After all, he went through so much to get it. Maybe he couldn't stop him having a bath but he could do that at least for him.  
Rob ran the hot bath with plenty of bubble-bath just like Aaron liked it. Part of him was hoping that he'd invite him but he didn't and he didn't like to push things.  
'Shall I help you get undressed?'  
Aaron nodded. Once he had his clothes off, Rob removed the bandages carefully. Aaron winced.  
Just before he helped him in, Rob reached down to kiss him but Aaron turned his head away.  
'Aaron?'  
'Don't... Just don't.'  
'Did I do something wrong? I only wanted to kiss you. I know you're not ready for anything else yet.'  
'Oh, you reckon?' He snapped back sarcastically and then closed his eyes. 'I'm sorry, it's not you. I can still feel him on me, OK? I need to get in.'  
Rob sighed and helped settle into the water.  
'Not too hot or cold?'  
'Perfect.' Aaron sighed as he lay back. 'You always knew how I liked my bath.'  
'Do you want me to join you?' It was larger than average bath and Rob could just about get his long legs in. 'I can wash you better that way.'  
Aaron shrugged and his lack of enthusiasm didn't fill Robert full of confidence.  
'I don't have to. You have a choice, you know, Aaron.'  
'No, then.'  
'I'll just help you wash from here, OK?'  
'OK.'  
He helped him shampoo and rinse his hair which needed a good wash and when Robert scrubbed his back, he made small sounds of relaxation.  
'Feel like I'll never get that bastard off me.' Rob could see his hands twisting under the water but at least he wasn't hurting himself.  
'Oh, Aaron.' Robert paused to stroke back his hair, unaware that was what Gordon did just before he left.  
'Don't.' Aaron's voice was small and Rob saw that his body had tensed up. 'Please.'  
'Sorry. I just...can't stand to see you hurting like this. I wish I'd killed him for you.'  
'Then you'd go down and what's the point of that? He ain't worth it.' His voice wavered and his damn eyes had sprung another leak somewhere.  
'Sh..It's OK, it's OK.'  
'Is it? I realised something today. He's never going to leave me alone. Thought he wouldn't be interested in me once I grew up but he's still the same fucking filthy pervert he always was.'  
Then why did you insist of destroying all the evidence? 'He'll have to get through me first.' Rob hissed.  
Aaron looked up at him gratefully and kissed the inside of his wrist.  
'I love you, Aaron. Whatever you decide to do, I'll stand by you.'  
He looked up at him but something dark flitted across his eyes and he ducked his head to hide it.  
Robert noticed that he didn't say 'Love you' back. He sighed. 'Do you want to get out now?  
'Nah. Think I'll soak a bit. You go if you want.'  
Rob left and it turned out that Aaron stayed in that water for over an hour before he called for him to help him out, towel him off and help him dress himself again. The whole time inbetween the older man found himself wondering if he should check on him – he had a feeling of dread that his state of mind was much worse than he was letting on, Rob was sure of it. 

He shook his head at the spaghetti bolognese Rob had rustled up for them and Rob found his own appetite fading and he pushed his plate away after a couple of mouthfuls.  
Now that the adrenalin was wearing off, Aaron had time to take in his situation fully. He started to cry then and Rob tried to just touch his arm but was again shaken off.  
'You were so brave and I didn't know if I was doing the right thing recording it and not putting a stop to it right away. Believe me, I wanted to. I wanted to kill him, slowly. Did I wait too long? When he was hurting you I wanted to kill him but you didn't want me to stop it, did you?'  
'No.'  
'Or did I misread your signals...? Oh God...don't say I let it go on too long and that's why you can't stand me touching you now.'  
'It's not that. He's done much worse to me and I could handle it. I just wanted to get it on record properly so that even my mum or his solicitor couldn't explain it away...'  
'But now you're not even going to use it! You went through it all for nothing!'  
Aaron shrugged. 'It doesn't matter.'  
'How can you say that? Are you sure? Really sure I didn't do anything wrong?'  
'No! Told you that I would have shouted out to you if I wanted you to stop him. Stop worrying about it.'  
' You're so beautiful and strong and I only want to hold you. Don't want anything else...I mean I do,' he admitted awkwardly, 'But ...you know what I mean.'  
'I can't have anyone touch me right now, it's not just you. Anybody.'  
'Does this mean he wins? You wanted me before I left today. He's ruined everything between us!'  
'That was today and things change. I can't stay here. Not watch him and my mum...' He shook his head in misery. 'I've got to go so there's no point starting something...'  
'Don't say that.' Even though he'd been half-expecting him to say something like this, it was still a shock. 'Please don't make any hasty decisions. Look, I'll stay. I won't even touch you if you don't want me to. I didn't before, did I?'  
Aaron hung his head and shrugged.  
'Aaron...do you still have feelings for me?'  
'I don't know.' He answered simply. 'Maybe I'm not really gay – it was only what he did to me that made me think I was. Maybe I don't really love you at all, just think I do because I should.'  
The words stung his friend who found himself blinking back his own tears.  
Robert had just dumped Chrissie and it had been horrible and he and Aaron were probably going to be Public Enemy No.1 again once the word got out.  
He knew he was being selfish but he couldn't stop himself from blurting out, 'How can you switch your feelings on and off like that? Do you know what I gave up to be with you?' His voice got louder even though he didn't want it to.  
Aaron immediately flinched back and the ever-ready tears sprung into his eyes.  
'I'm sorry, I'm sorry.' Rob tried to soothe things over. 'You're only saying this cause of him and what he just did to you. Just a few hours ago you were kissing me like there was no tomorrow, remember? You wanted me then.' He punched his own thigh. 'Maybe I let it go on too long, should have stopped him earlier. Especially when he was hurting you but you wanted me to film everything! I felt like a pervert myself...'  
'It's not your fault. I would have called out to you if I couldn't handle it.'  
'Why did I ever leave you alone! None of this would have happened if I'd only just stayed. Not gone to see her!'  
'Stop putting pressure on me! Stop making this all about you!'  
'I don't mean to. I don't care about the sex and I only said that because I'm worried about you. I just want you to still love me, Aaron.'  
He sighed and looked away. 'I just can't bear being touched right now. You understand, right? I know that there's more than just that between us but I can't deal with my feelings about you until I know Gordon's not going to have a go at me again.'  
'Then we have to go to the police and show them what he did. What he's really like.'  
'I thought I could but I can't show the video to anyone. It's too disgusting. I can't tell my mum either even if they are getting married, it would destroy her. Best thing I can do is leave.'  
'That's it, then? You're just going to move away? Don't you think he'll find another way to get at you even if you do?'  
Aaron started to cry again, remembering his father's threats.  
'I'm sorry but I don't always know the right thing to say. Or what to do. What else can I do to make it better?'  
'Get me my dad.' He sobbed and curled up in a ball at the edge of the sofa and it wasn't lost on Robert that it was as far away from him that he could get.  
The storm had broken.  
'But...' This time it didn't take him so long to understand who Aaron was talking about.  
'I want my Dad. I want Paddy.' It didn't escape Robert that Paddy was Aaron's first choice, not Chas. But then again, she was still supposed to be on holiday with that monster. No doubt she was allied with him in his mind.  
'Are you going to tell him what Gordon did? Any of it?'  
'I...I don't know...'  
'I'll call him for you but I don't know if he'll come.'  
'He will. If you say that I need him, he will.'  
The big man answered gruffly on the third ring and Rob told Aaron that he would be around in about 20 minutes. He was on his lunchbreak.  
'He asked me what had happened and if I had anything to do with it but I told him that he needs to ask you. He loves you like you were his, a blind person could see that.'  
Aaron looked up at him with a wan smile. 'He's my real dad because let me tell you something. A real dad doesn't tell you he can't love you because you were born bad.' The tears were welling up under his eyelashes but he didn't wipe them away.  
'Oh, Aaron, did he really say that to you? I'm so sorry...' Rob instinctively wanted to reach out and touch him more than anything and he remembered just in time that Aaron couldn't handle that right now.  
'A real dad doesn't blame you for the problems in his life and take them out on you. You know I was vile to Paddy when they first got together? Couldn't stand him and all he did was try to connect with me. Show an interest in my life – not that I really had one back then. Even when I beat him up, he didn't give up on me because a real father forgives you and keeps loving you and caring about you no matter what you do. God – this sounds so fucking cheesy but it's true and I see it now. And I never said thank-you or told him that I loved him. At the time, I couldn't see it...maybe I was think I was jealous of him for taking my mum away from me.'  
'That wasn't your fault...Anyway, he knows that you love him.'  
'Really? I can't keep blaming Gordon and what he did to me for all the bad things I did. I hurt a lot of people. If I don't take responsibilty for my own actions then I'm no better than he is. Maybe I deserved everything he dished out because he was right, I was born evil and I'll never change. Take Chrissie and Sandra, for example.'  
'Don't say that! You have changed!.'  
'So have you. You used to be an arsehole too and I hated you for a long time. I don't know how you had the gall to come back here after the things you did.' He finished candidly, looking up at him to gauge his reaction.  
Robert nodded. 'I know I was. There was something missing in me...it was like I was empty inside and I was broken. I was neither really living nor dead annd I didn't care about anything. Nothing I did mattered. Not that that's an excuse, of course.'  
'I know Paddy's my father because a real dad doesn't rip apart your self-esteem so that you keep quiet when he's raping you or forcing you to give him a blow-job.'  
'Oh, baby....' Rob sighed, crying a little himself. 'It's OK...Sh...'  
Aaron closed his eyes, letting the tears torrent down his face before he took a deep breath and forced himself to go on. 'A real father doesn't threaten you with rape to control you. In fact, he never threatens you and always makes you feel safe. He protects you. And Paddy helped me sort myself out – set up my business, found me somewhere to live when I never thought I could do it by myself or make anything of my life – Fuck! I'm so blind!'  
'Why don't you tell him all this?'  
'I can't without telling him about Gordon. And I ain't telling anyone about that pervert and you aren't either!'  
'Whatever you say. You're in charge. But you know he's going to blame me for upsetting you – he hates my guts now and probably thinks I had my wicked way with you while you were vulnerable unless we tell him the truth.'  
'But you didn't! Besides, I said I don't want anyone to know! Didn't you hear me the first time?'  
Just then, the doorbell rang and Paddy bellowed through the door.  
'Now, what's going on? Where is he?' He rushed into the living-room as soon as Rob opened the door.  
'Aaron? You OK?'  
He looked up at him, shaking his head hopelessly before he broke down.  
'Sh...' As soon as Paddy sat down, Aaron started to cry again. Even harder this time if that was possible as if he'd been holding back before.  
'Hey...hey...What's the matter?' The vet glared up at Rob and stroked his stepson's back.  
'Dad...' Aaron whispered.  
Paddy raised his eyebrows at that.  
'Sh. Come here.' He pulled him to him gently while Rob watched enviously. 'What's happened, son?'  
'Dad... he...he...' He tried to speak.  
'I can be your Dad if you'll let me. I always felt like I was anyway. But I thought you already had a father?'  
'He's nothing to me!'  
'Did he upset you?'  
Aaron buried his head in his chest without answering.  
'What did he say to you? I'll kill him!'  
Rob nearly choked, wishing Aaron had given him permission to tell the truth about Gordon. Paddy stroked his hair while he sobbed. Robert watched with not a little jealousy and feeling pissed off that he always seemed to get the blame for Aaron's mental state. Why was his stepfather allowed to comfort him and Rob wasn't? Rob's own father had never lavished affection on him but then he had to put things into perspective – he'd never gone through what Aaron had as a child. He didn't have his problems. He didn't understand that after what had happened, that Aaron needed a parent's touch – one that had never been sexual to erase that of Gordon's. It wasn't that he didn't trust Robert to keep his word, it was that right then he needed a different kind of comfort.  
After a while, Aaron managed to dry his tears and sit up but Paddy still kept a protective arm around him.  
'Hey, it's OK, son. I'm here now. Just tell me in your own time what happened. Do you want Rob to leave?'  
'What?Why?' Rob was indignant. 'I'm the one who found him!'  
'Let him stay.' Aaron piped up. 'He's right. He's been taking care of me.'  
'Gordon came round when I was out and upset him.' Rob explained while Aaron warned him with his eyes not to say too much.  
'I think I want to hear it from him.' Paddy glanced down at his stepson briefly before it hit him and he roared at the other man, 'You left him ALONE?' making them both jump. 'What were you thinking of? Thought the hospital only released him to you and not me because you said you could take care of him properly! Even though you've got a fiancee but I guess you lied about that. They told us he shouldn't be left unattended. And you knew WHY!'  
I don't have a fiancee anymore and I'm not sure I even have a boyfriend either. Rob wished he could tell Paddy about how evil Gordon was but at the end of the day it was Aaron's decision to tell his story how he liked and he wasn't going to take any more of his choices away from him. Even if it meant Gordon got away with it.  
Still, maybe Rob had his own plans for that scumbag. 'Gordon had a key. Must have borrowed or nicked it from Chas. The latter I'd bet. She probably doesn't even know he was here.'  
'Well, then, the first thing we need to do is change the locks. You better call the locksmith as soon as I'm gone.' Paddy suggested and went back to petting Aaron's hair. 'What's he doing coming around here when he's meant to be celebrating with Chas? They're on holiday.'  
Rob tried to encourage Aaron to open up with his eyes but it was to no avail. Apparently, he didn't mind them talking over him like he was a child. He only shrugged and glared up at his boyfriend, warning him to keep quiet but the vet wasn't put off that easily.  
'What exactly did he say to you to get you in this state?' Paddy turned to Aaron next.  
'He told me that they were getting married whether I liked it or not. Said I better patch things up with him for Chas' sake or else and started throwing his weight around. Stuff like that.'  
'The bastard...Wait until I get my hands on him...I can't believe Chas has fallen for his act. Does she know he's threatening you like this? Did she tell him about your...your problem?'  
Rob stared at him. 'Tell him!' He mouthed but this time Paddy caught him. 'Tell me what? Why are you two whispering to each other like a couple of naughty schoolboys? Is there something that I'm not supposed to know?'  
'No.' They both answered at the same time.  
'I know you didn't always get on with your Dad and there were some problems between you two when you were growing up but there's got to be more to it than this. You wouldn't be in this state over just an argument.'  
'There isn't.'  
'Look – he's coming back with Chas the day after tomorrow and you did start hurting yourself again after he turned up, Cain's right about that.  
'It's just a coincidence. I was going through a bad patch anyway – the business wasn't doing so well.'  
'Son – I'm sorry but I don't believe it. Can I ask you a personal question? Maybe one you don't want Rob to hear?'  
'He's staying.' Rob threw a frantic glance at Aaron but he ignored it. He was getting really irritated at the overprotective vet's attempts to drive him out. But could he really blame him for his attitude and was he really being overprotective?  
'Did Gordon – I mean your father...did he ...did he...abuse you?' Paddy looked worriedly up at Rob. 'Is that why you hurt yourself? Why it got worse when he came here?'  
Now Aaron was the one throwing desperate glances at his boyfriend.  
'Abuse? What – how?' He feigned surprise.  
Paddy took a long, deep breath. 'You sure you want him (he looked at Rob a little distastefully) here.  
'He hears whatever I hear.'  
'Fine. Did...did (Paddy stuttered, clearly finding it difficult to get the painful words out) he do something worse than hit you? I mean...' He went red. 'Did he ...uh interfere with you?'  
Aaron gasped and went pale as his mind raced to find a way out of this. Was he that obvious? Did he have 'My Dad raped me' written on his forehead?  
'No...uh...What do you mean?' He desperately played for time.  
'What I mean, Aaron, son, ' Paddy spoke softly to him while Robert looked on and took Aaron's face gently into his hands to hold his gaze, 'when you lived with him, did Gordon molest you?'  
Aaron's heart seemed to jump into his mouth and his heart thudded in his chest. Trust Paddy to put 2 and 2 together and come up with 4.  
He opened his mouth to speak while Rob nodded and encouraged him with his eyes.


	12. Economy of the Truth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, I've been really busy at work so haven't been able to update in a while. But here's a nice, long chapter to make up for it. Thanks so much for your kudos, comments and reviews already and please keep them up if you like what I write! They make me very happy.  
> Thank-you x x  
> ***  
> Aaron has opened up to Rob about his harrowing childhood but will he tell Paddy? Gordon's still out there and he threatened to come back and finish what he started with him. Will Aaron just leave and let him get away with what he did? Why should he be the one to leave?  
> What will Rob do if he does? Now that he's broken up with Chrissie, does he and Aaron still have a chance at being together or has evil Gordon ruined that for them too?  
> 

Aaron closed his mouth and flicked his eyes nervously to his friend who was listening to all this very intently. Unnoticed by His stepfather, Rob nodded his head eagerly. ‘You've got to tell him.’ He mouthed. 'Let me show him...' For emphasis, he reached inside his jacket and patted the inner pocket where he'd stowed the phone for safe-keeping.  
But Aaron shook his head and Paddy released his hold on him.  
‘You know, don't you?’ The older man demanded, addressing Rob. ‘You better tell me why he's in this state again!'  
‘He won't let me.’ The other admitted.  
‘Rob! Shut up!’ Aaron blurted out, furious.  
‘Aaron…’ Paddy turned his attention back on him. ‘Tell me what Gordon did to make you want to hurt yourself.’  
Aaron bowed his head and decided he couldn't take the questions anymore. He had to give his persistent stepfather something because he knew Paddy would never let it go. Not something like this.  
‘He hit me, OK!’  
‘Aaron…Don't …’Rob started but was shot down by his friend’s savage glare and he had time to think that right then, the son looked like the father had just a few minutes ago.  
‘This true?’ Paddy wheeled round on the businessman again. ‘The bastard used to hit him?’  
Rob nodded hesitantly, hating having to lie because after all, despite their differences, he and Paddy were on the same side. That was that they both wanted to help Aaron.  
‘He used to tell me I was unlovable and that's why even my own mother abandoned me and left me with him, that even they – my own parents – couldn't stand the sight of me.' Aaron paused while Paddy continued to look shocked before he carried on.  
'He was always telling me he never wanted me and what a burden I was, always cramping their style and giving them cheek. Making them feel old. And whenever they had a fight or he had trouble at work, he took it out on me.’  
‘That fucking coward!’ The big man hissed. ‘How bad was it?’  
Rob shook his head in disbelief at how good a liar his usually honest ex turned out to be while Aaron refused to look at him as the lies continued to skip seemingly effortlessly off his tongue.  
‘I only had bruises – nothing too bad.’  
‘Only bruises! Nothing too bad?’ The vet’s voice rose in anger and he clenched his fist.  
‘He always hit me where it wouldn't show.’ Aaron continued to embellish his story like a pro but showing little feeling compared to before when he was telling the real version to Rob.  
‘Did Sandra know? Or did he do it to her too?... What about your sister?’  
Aaron shook his head. ‘He never hit Liv – or Sandra... at least I never saw - and he always made sure we were alone before he started on me.’ Sudden realization dawned on him then as he looked at Rob in horror, growing pale. 'Oh, God... You don't think he…’ But only his friend understood his real fear.  
‘Sh…Sure she's fine…’ Rob tried to reassure him but he failed.  
‘Nooo…’ Aaron wailed and buried his face in his hands, showing genuine emotion for the first time since he started ‘opening up’ to Paddy. ‘Don't say he…I'm so selfish, only thinking about what I went through all this time but I forgot I left him alone with her! He could have...'  
‘Shh…Paddy frowned and put an arm back around his shoulders.‘Wait a minute, you just said he didn't hit her…so what else are you worried about unless…unless…’ He couldn't even say the words.  
‘I told you it was just physical and emotional …NOTHING ELSE!’  
‘OK, OK, son. I believe you, but that's bad enough. Sh…don't get all worked up again…’ The vet tried patting his back but he jerked away..  
‘But I don't understand… Chas said they gave you a choice when they broke up and you chose to live with him over her.’ Paddy was sceptical.  
‘Yeah I did because when they were they were together he was the one trying to spoil me rotten and she was the strict one. And at first he carried on being a really good Dad – taking me to the park to play footie after work or taking us out for my favourite tea – fish and chips. Sandra used to tell him off – saying we'd get fat but we never did. Then the rows started and he changed. He started telling me how much he wished he was back with Chas behind Sandra's back and blaming me for breaking them up because I was a bad boy.’ He wiped his eyes at the truth mixed in the half-truths he was admitting.  
‘Oh, Aaron – son - you saying he blamed you and made you feel bad about yourself and that's why you cut yourself now?’  
He nodded.  
‘Well, you know that's not true. You have friends and family who care about you.'  
‘Yeah, right. Like Mum and Cain do?’  
‘I meant me and I know that your uncle cares although he can be an odd one and likes to act tough...'  
‘That's ‘cos he is!’ But even as he protested, Aaron was remembering the hot chocolate with a heap of marshmallows on top that his uncle used to make for him when he was little when he visited them (without the drugs or booze of course back then). Like the one he had made him the other day even though he'd been furious at him.  
‘Shh..he loves you and so do I. You're not bad. So you can stop hurting yourself now.’  
‘Just like that?’ Rob snapped angrily, frustrated at Paddy's easy acceptance of Aaron's evasive answers and his over-reaching simple optimism. ‘It's not that easy, Paddy. Don't you think if he could have done, he would have years ago?’  
'Rob...Leave it.' Aaron warned.  
‘I only meant now that it's out in the open and we know why now, he can move on…’ The vet blushed and tried to explain but Rob had had enough. Because clearly Paddy didn't see.  
‘Nothing's out in the open! Aaron, tell him...’ Rob insisted.  
Aaron glared at him balefully even from under his wet eyelashes.‘Will you both stop talking over me as if I'm not there! I ain't a kid!’  
‘Tell me what?’ Paddy glanced suspiciously to and fro between them.

***

Gordon wiped his sweaty brow and willed his pounding headache away before he walked into the revolving doors of the hotel. He glanced at the clock on the wall above the reception while the staff there glanced at him curiously.  
He knew that he looked a state after his tussle with his son's boyfriend or whatever he was – he'd got that vibe from them and he'd cursed Rob all the way back in the car for spoiling his fun. Leaving him unsatisfied and not least to say, extremely worried. But he tried not to think about that. He'd come so near to reliving the good times they'd shared together until he got interrupted. He was going to make the blonde-haired lout in a suit pay...As for touching what was his...  
He slid the keycard into the slot of his and Chas' suite, opened it and immediately received a pillow in his face.  
'Where the hell have you been? I'm starving!'  
Now, Gordon had been debating with himself on what to tell Chas and if anything, how much.  
'I did my business errands quickly and then thought I'd go over and check on our boy.'  
'Well, you're late! Did you forget that you're supposed to be on holiday with me, taking me out to lunch and it's now after 2! It's our pre-honeymoon honeymoon!' She picked up one of her red high-heels from the floor and was about to throw it at him when he ducked reflexively behind the door, using it as a shield.  
'Wait!' He cried.  
She lowered it and pouted at him, crossing her arms over her chest.  
'Look, love...I was worried about him. After what you told me about him hurting himself...'  
'And how is he?' Now she looked concerned and not so annoyed as he sank into one of the comfortable armchairs plumped up with cushions. He sighed and buried his face in his hands and shook his head.  
'I should never have gone there. He weren't happy to see me, that's for sure.'  
He got up and started to make his way over to her.  
'I told you to stay away, that I was going to try and bring him round after we got back and ...Gordon!' She gasped. 'What happened to your face?'  
She'd noticed his cut lip and black-eye for the first time.  
'Nothing.'  
'Don't lie. Don't tell me – you were mugged!' She scoffed. 'No - Aaron did that, didn't he?'  
Gordon allowed himself a tiny smile, one inside him where she couldn't see. He hadn't thought of that but she'd been so quick to blame the boy and he could use if the kid insisted on defying him, and causing trouble. Especially with her.  
He nodded reluctantly.  
'Did you punch him back?'  
'No, of course not. Just got out of there.' He added sadly.  
'I'll have words with that boy when we get back. Maybe I'll even phone him before we do, give him a piece of my mind. He can't treat you like this...Hitting his own father! What's he thinking of?'  
'No, don't. It'll only make things worse.' He sounded sad but his brain was going into overdrive, thinking the best way to pre-empt his son's and Rob's accusations. Maybe he'd make sure to do that later but first he had to distract her and make her more receptive to what he was going to tell her.  
'You can't let this go!' She brought him sharply back to the present from his musings.  
'Let's forget about it and just enjoy ourselves. Don't let him spoil things for us.' He purred.  
'What about lunch?'  
'I'm not hungry, are you? He started undoing his shirt before he started undoing his belt. 'I mean, I'm not hungry for food...If you're not...' He added sleazily but that didn't put her off. Especially when his eye roved all over her lithe body appreciatively, drinking her in and making her unconsciously stretch out and preen herself. She wasn't to know that he'd looked at their son in almost the very way just hours before.  
She eyed him with excitement and her breathing got faster. 'Then get over here, luvver.' She drawled and squealed when he got on top of the bed at the end of it but immediately dived under the covers to nestle his face between her thighs. She felt him ride up her lingerie nightwear with his cool hands before he started exploring her down there with his fingers and his mouth, kissing, licking and caressing.  
She shivered and fell back against the bed. 'Oh God...' She moaned and writhed. 'You're so good...you're so good...Yes, do it like that...' She gasped.  
Unseen, hidden, he smirked. But he wasn't thinking of her, he was remembering of being with Aaron – inside him all those years ago.  
He was determined to have that back again – one way or another. Even if the boy regained his strength along with his health, Gordon knew he was still afraid of him, no matter how hard or disdainful he acted in his father's presence.  
It didn't matter how old he was, he'd always be his Daddy's little boy and it was time that Gordon made that clear to him.  
After he'd thoroughly pleasured Chas, he flipped her over and began more roughly than usual.  
She was a little surprised but didn't protest or make him stop after he got into it. It was a change from his up to now – tender lovemaking - but he recalled that she'd liked it rough occasionally in the past. She could take it.  
They snuggled up afterwards. Her dark hair – the same brunette hue -almost black - as Aaron's was splayed all over his chest and the sight of it was making him feel all hot and bothered again even though he'd just had his release.  
'Well, that was a change.'  
He was immediately put on a concerned expression. 'I'm sorry, I didn't hurt you, did I? I'll be gentler next time.'  
'Nah...it was different in a good way. Just would have appreciated some warning, that was all.'  
'You sure?'  
She nodded and kissed his chest. 'I think I might give Aaron a ring now. Give him a piece of my mind.'  
For some reason, he panicked.  
'I wasn't going to tell you because I knew I shouldn't have gone around there. After 7 years, he still hates my guts...' He let his voice trail off as if in pain and the truth was that he was worried sick but for himself mainly.  
'Oh, baby...' She crooned, circling dangerously near one of his nipples with her lethally long, manicured scarlet fingernails, making him shiver.  
His thoughts raced. Getting caught like that...Should I say something or leave it? I thought I made it clear to him what would happen if he spilled the beans but then he has Rob who knows. And Rob saw us together! Can I believe that the both of them'll keep quiet?  
'I didn't want to spoil this but...but he accused me of abusing him.'  
'What? How?' She sat up in bed and frowned. 'But that's rubbish...'  
'He said I'm the reason he cut himself.' He decided to take the plunge and go the whole hog. 'Because I abused him...but he wouldn't say what exactly he thinks I did to him. God knows I was tough on him but he was one of those kids who need a strong authority figure – he was always fighting, always in trouble in school, even out of it. I keep asking myself why – maybe I wasn't a good father. But I swear I never laid a hand on him...You know me, I don't believe in violence. But he was such an angry, aggressive boy...'  
'I know he's had his problems in the past. But he's not violent. Not any more...'  
'Well, he did this, didn't he?' Gordon felt his head gingerly and then checked his split lips with a finger.  
'It looks like his ...his problems are getting worse. Maybe someone's been at him – his counsellor or even that boy Rob – filling his heads with stuff about me that isn't true. Confusing him to turn him against me.'  
Even Chas was suspicious. 'Why would they do that?'  
'Because they must be looking for a reason for his self-harming...because they can't stop it. Who knows what they made him believe...And me showing up like this gave them all an easy target.  
'What are you saying?'  
He looked away. 'I'm not sure exactly – he didn't say it outright but...'  
'What do you mean?' She shivered and sounded scared as she started to read between his words.  
'I...I don't know. But there was his football coach...I heard rumours about him and other boys in his class...'  
'Oh...God...You don't think...'  
'Nothing wasn't proved but he did leave the school not long after under a cloud and Aaron came home that day in a bad mood –even worse than usual. Sandra said his underwear was ...was torn when she went to put it in the washing machine and there were other signs but we weren't sure.  
'And you never told me?' She asked, incredulous, gripping his arm tightly.  
He felt a little tremor of fear pass through him because she was looking at him like he was a stranger for the first time since they'd been reunited.  
'He seemed OK – well, normal for him at least.  
'But that would explain a lot...why he hurts himself...Oh, please don't say...' She looked on the verge of the tears but hadn't she always suspected something like this, deep down?  
'We asked him – in a roundabout way of course – and he said nothing had happened. He said that he was just pissed off because they'd lost the match...the goalie let them down and they lost 5:4 in the last minute. That was all.'  
'Are you sure? Please tell me he wasn't...'  
He kissed her gently. 'I'm sure he wasn't. His pants could have got torn a thousand different ways – climbing trees, falling off his bicycle – and the stains – could have been anything. Well, you know what boys are like.' He laughed quietly, trying to lighten the mood.  
She didn't actually know what boys were like but he was going to rub that in her face right now. Besides, it didn't matter – it was enough to put doubts in her mind if ever the little crybaby or his little cheating boyfriend ever started to squeal.  
She breathed a sigh of relief and sagged back against him. But then she sat upright as if she'd changed her mind about something and before he could stop her, she grabbed her phone from the bedside table and started to call Aaron's phone.  
Gordon immediately jumped up and practically ran over to his coat where it was the other side of the room but naturally he got it there too late. Damn, why didn't I turn it off? He'd been right – like mother, like son – Aaron apparently refused to get in with the times and get a smartphone like everyone else his age and his was small and old-fashioned. Best of all, there was no passcode and Gordon couldn't resist pulling over on a layby on one of those deserted country roads on his return and going through all his calls and messages. So far, so good. Nothing incriminating there and the little fag hadn't been bleating to all and sundry about the little father and son game that they used to play together. No sextexts even from lover-boy. Not even any gay porn. Just some work-related texts. Quite boring, actually.  
Chas' eyes widened in surprise. 'Gordon...why do you have Aaron's phone?'  
He smiled sheepishly at her as he reached down in the pocket to take it up and rejected the call as his mind scrolled through ideas of how to get out of this one.

***  
‘Tell me what?’ Paddy repeated, demanding an answer.  
Aaron shrugged his shoulders. 'Nothing.'  
'You better tell me, Aaron. I'm not leaving here until you do.'  
He looked back at him and he knew that he meant it. In a way, Paddy was just as determined and ruthless as his father but the difference was that Paddy didn't want to hurt him. His stepfather cared about him.  
'We're back together, time to make it official.'  
Paddy stared open-mouthed at Rob. 'You mean...you and him...?'  
'Thanks, Aaron.' Now it was Rob's turn to look annoyed.  
'Oh, come on. I'm sure Chrissie will have told everyone by now. It's better he hears it from us.'  
'This true?' Paddy's reaction was predictable as he reached over the arm of the sofa to where Rob was sitting on a chair to grab him by the collar of his heavy jacket. 'I knew it! Once a scumbag, always a scumbag!'  
'Get off!' Rob tried to push him away and get up but he was pinned by the bulk of the man who outweighed him by almost double.  
'Dad!' Aaron tried to pull him off but it was like trying to move a mountain and Paddy simply ignored him.  
'What did you do to him, huh? I thought even you wouldn't sink so low to take advantage of someone when they're sick and vulnerable. With his so-called father sniffing around and causing trouble.'  
'I'm not vulnerable! And we haven't done anything!'  
'Yet.' Rob gave the enraged vet a rakish grin, infuriating him even further.  
'I trusted you with him! Believed you when you both said that nothing was going on...Might have known you'd use him to boost your ego..What about Chrissie?'  
'No! It was true then! There was nothing going on before!' Aaron yelled behind him on the sofa and tried hold him back when he drew back his fist to let Rob know exactly what he thought of him.  
'I've broken up with Chrissie, allright?'  
'Don't bother lying. He might believe that but I don't.'  
'It's true!' Aaron piped up.  
Rob finally managed to push the big man away from him and get up out of fist reach. 'I swear I've called the wedding off – you can ask her yourself. I did it when I realised that I was marrying the wrong person. Because I love Aaron!'  
'This true?'  
'Yes!' They both nodded enthusiastically.  
Paddy looked at his watch. 'I've got to go now. But I swear if I find out you're lying or you mess him around again, I'm coming back for you, boy!' He gathered up his belongings.  
'Paddy?' Rob addressed him almost timidly.  
'What?' He snapped.  
'Do you mind not telling people yet? I'm sure Chrissie will have told her mum and her friends but we don't want Chas or Cain to know just yet. Not if it can be helped.'  
'This true?' Paddy glanced at Aaron to check that he agreed.  
'Yes. I want to tell them first if I can, if they don't find out from the local gossips beforehand, that is.'  
'Fine. But I swear you hurt him...' Paddy glared relentlessly at Rob, his meaning clear.  
'I won't. I swear I know who I want now...I'll take good care of him, promise.'  
'You better. And if that bastard comes round again...remember to change the locks as soon as I'm gone....I still haven't decided what we should do about Gordon...if I only knew where they were staying...'  
'Leave him, Dad. He's not worth it.'  
'We'll deal with him when he comes back. Who does he think he is, stealing Chas' key and coming round here to give you a hard time when you're still sick? Does she know he took her jey? Anyway, I've got to go...an hour late already.' He reached down to give his stepson a warm hug goodbye. 'I can't believe you're back together but if it's what you want, I suppose I'll just have to accept it.' He shook his head. 'But you ring me as soon as he puts a foot wrong, Aaron.'  
'OK, Dad.'  
'Bye then. I'll ring you or pass by to check on you later, OK?'  
Aaron waved him out as he left.  
As soon as he was gone, Rob turned back to Aaron, his eyes brimming with questions too many to count.  
'Why did you lie to him about Gordon and what he did?'  
'Because I only told you and I want it to stay that way. I want to forget it ever happened.'  
'I'm not sure he believes you completely and that's going to be hard to do with Gordon still hanging around, threatening you.'  
'O yeah? He can't prove anything...Did you delete the video?'  
Rob nodded.  
'You didn't make any other copies?'  
'No.'  
'You swear?'  
'I swear. But I wish you had let me show someone. At least the cops.'  
'You mean Paddy? Or my Mum? How about my uncle Cain?' He bit back with deep sarcasm. 'They'd be disgusted and I wouldn't blame them.'  
'With him, not you. Anyway, they could just listen to the audio.'  
Aaron shivered despite the heating. 'Well, it's too late now.'  
'You're letting him get away with it and he threatened to do it again to you!'  
'I ain't scared of him and if it gets too bad, I can leave.'  
'You mean leave me as well? After everything you've built here?'  
Aaron shrugged and turned away as if all the questions were exhausting him.  
'Look, I don't want to pressurise you and I was going to break up with her anyway so you don't need to worry about that.' Rob lied. 'But why did you tell Paddy that we were an official item? Was it just to shut him up?'  
'That's right.' Aaron answered coldly.  
'And what about us?'  
'It's too soon. I wanted to be with you but when he...when he...He was touching me, his hands all over me. Saying all those things he used to say when I was little...Then I could feel him...'  
'You see, you can't forget. He's not even here and he's still ruining your life, destroying your chance at happiness. He tried to rape you again and you can't let him get away with it! He stole your phone for fuck's sake!'  
Aaron shuddered and stretched out on the sofa without looking at him and buried his face in a cushion.  
'I'll find out which hotel the bastard's in – they probably checked under his or her name and I'll fucking kill him!' Robert was talking to himself more than to Aaron, planning aloud.  
'NO!' Aaron suddenly came back to life. 'Don't! He's still technically my father – he gave me life anyway – and I don't want you to do anything to him. That's why I didn't tell Paddy – why I can't tell anyone - I don't want people to go to prison for that evil bastard, he ain't worth it! You hurt him, you hurt me.'  
'I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said any of that...I'm just so angry, that's all . I won't do anything you don't want me to do – and I mean anything. You decide what we're going to do about him, not me but I can't say I agree with you and he doesn't make my blood boil. As for us - I told you before that I can just be your friend if you want and the rest doesn't matter.  
Aaron didn't reply to his concern and turned away his head to bury it deeper, hiding his expression from the other man. He looked so small and miserable as he curled up on the sofa that his friend's arms just ached to comfort him. But would he let him?  
Rob scooted up to him and tentatively brushed the hair out of his eyes just once, seeking his expression. 'This OK?'  
Aaron didn't say anything but he didn't move away either and Rob noticed that at least he wasn't crying.  
Rob carried on for a few more seconds until Aaron tore himself away from him. 'No.' He said quietly.  
'I'll phone a locksmith then.' Rob got up in defeat. 'Do you want anything? Need to go to the toilet?'  
Aaron shook his head. 'Just let me lie here awhile. I'm shattered.'  
'OK. Let me know if you do.'


	13. Vengeance is Mine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How is Gordon going to explain away the fact that he's got Aaron's phone? Will Chas be stupid enough to fall for his lies? But surely she must be suspicious, right?  
> Gordon is already getting rougher with her and showing his true colours. Is this a sign of things to come?  
> Can Rob convince Aaron to stay and tell Chas the truth? Is it too late for the boys or has Gordon managed to ruin that as well?  
> If you enjoy reading this, please leave a review or comment. I'd really appreciate it.
> 
> Warnings: Extreme torture just for those who hate Gordon and mention of past child sex abuse.

'Well, why do you have his phone?' Chas demanded.  
'I...I don't know. Must have picked it up by mistake in the scuffle.'  
She laughed but not like she thought it was funny. 'Don't take me for a fool. Is that why you didn't want me to phone him? Because you forgot to turn it off in your coat pocket?'  
'I realised when I was driving back that I had it and I swear I was going to return it to him.'  
'When? When we got it back?'  
He shrugged.  
'He needs his phone! For his business!'  
'Look, I don't know how I got it. Stop harping on about it.'  
'How the hell am I supposed to bring him round after this?'

'I'm sorry.' He went over and kissed her. 'Forgive me?' She resisted at first before her arms wound around his neck and they embraced.  
'You're crazy, Gordon!' She thumped his chest. 'Maybe we should cut our holiday short. He's worrying me and I should have called to check up on him. But we didn't exactly leave on good terms when he found out that I was going away with you and he needs his phone back!'  
'He seemed just fine when I left. Pissed off but not depressed or anything.' He growled and started nuzzling the side of her throat.  
'Get off me.' She pushed him away. 'Something about this doesn't add up and I want to go home. I'm worried sick about him, Gordon!'  
'Fine, then. I'll just lose my money.'

She glared at him. 'Is all that you care about? He's not been well!'  
'Of course I care about him too but I paid good money for this suite.'  
She gave him a funny look. 'He could be cutting himself again right now while we're speaking! You should never have gone around there and upset him!'  
'I wish I hadn't, believe me. I just wanted to try and talk to him, that's all. I had no idea he was going to start coming out with that stuff. I was shocked.'  
'I don't want to stay here anymore. It doesn't seem right. I need to see him.'  
'Look, why don't you just call him on his house-phone? Set your mind at rest?' He suggested while he prayed that she wouldn't bother. But he didn't want them to leave.

'Well, looks I have to now, don't I? Can't call his mobile. He must be worried about it.' She snapped.  
'I said I'm sorry! It was a mistake, OK?'  
He settled down to listen to their conversation even as his heart started to thump. He had done his best to prevent this from happening.  
'No, can you go for a walk or something? I need to talk to my son.' She turned her back on him.  
He winced at that before he turned around to leave but there was nothing he could do. She'd caught him out. 'Laters.' He called back to her before he went out of the door.  
She didn't even look up at him.  
….

Robert finished making a call to the locksmith who agreed to come round early next day on his mobile before he went back into the living room to find Aaron fast asleep on the sofa. He smiled and resisted the urge to tuck a blanket around him because he was afraid of waking him when he looked so peaceful.  
Like he was having the first real restorative rest he'd had in ages.  
Rob sat awhile and gazed at him, wondering where their 'relationship' if they even had one, was heading. Despite whatever he'd said, he wasn't happy to be just a platonic friend but he'd be that one if that was what Aaron needed. 

But he wanted to sleep with me but then again, and I admit that it hadn't seemed like he'd really wanted to and that was why I stopped things, besides him being too weak and vulnerable. Now he's telling me that he might leave and we won't have a future together, anyway.  
The old Rob was thinking, I should get out of this now if I'm not going to get anything back. I broke up with my fiancee for nothing!  
But the new Rob clamped down on those selfish thoughts. He'd treated Aaron like shit during their affair and here was a chance to make it up to him. Help him when he needed it most.

This was all because of his sick father...it was all Gordon's fault! Rob wanted to make that pervert pay more than anything, no matter what Aaron said.  
Rob felt the searing tide of hatred and fury rise in him against the one person who should have loved Aaron and protected him but had hurt him in the worst way a parent could.  
Chasity's not much better but she doesn't know what he did.  
Just then the housephone rang shrilly, throwing him out of his vengeful thoughts.  
He glanced at Aaron who was stirring and he sighed in irritation, half-expecting it to be Gordon calling to threaten and goad them.

'Hello?'  
'Is that you Rob? What are you doing with my son?' Rob hated how her voice immediately became hard and suspicious. Like Paddy, Aaron's mother had a long memory.  
'You don't know? He's been sick. In hospital.'  
And your sick fuck fiancee tried to rape him today.  
But he didn't say that because he didn't have Aaron's permission to speak about what Gordon had done. Or tried to do.  
'Oh, God....' Now she sounded worried.  
'Paddy left you messages. Didn't you get them?'  
'No.'  
'That's weird.' Rob had a sick feeling that Gordon had something to do with her not getting these important messages but would he really do that?  
He knew the answer to that.  
'Never mind that, tell me what's wrong with him. How is he?'  
'He'll be OK but she's still a little weak.'  
'What happened?'  
'Well, it looked like his cuts got infected with septicemia.'  
Charity gasped in shock and he didn't have the heart to tell her how close to death he'd been. How touch and go...and she hadn't been there because he knew that she would never forgive herself.  
'He cut himself again? But they said that he was getting better?'  
'Who's that?' Aaron rubbed his eyes as he slowly came awake while Rob cursed Chas for waking him up.  
'Is that him? Let me speak to him!' She demanded.  
'Your Mum.' Rob whispered before he handed over the receiver.  
'Mum?'  
'How are you, sweetheart? I heard you were in hospital.'  
'Yeah I was but only for a couple of nights. Don't worry.'  
'Did you cut yourself again?'  
He sighed and evaded the question. 'Mum...I'm OK.'  
'Did you?'  
He sighed. 'Yes. But it was just a bad patch...Don't know what I was thinking of, really.'  
'What's that boy doing with you?' She asked him distastefully.  
Aaron paused and looked up at Rob, asking him what he should say.  
Rob just shrugged.  
'He's looking after me.'  
'Why? Doesn't he have a home and fiancee to go to?'  
He didn't answer.  
'Aaron...I got your phone here. Your father took it by accident.'  
'No, he didn't! He stole it!!'  
There was a shocked pause.  
'Now, don't exaggerate. He said that somehow it ended up in his pocket when you hit him.'  
'Hit him?'  
'He said that you accused him of ...abuse...'

Aaron went silent in shock. He hadn't expected Gordon to strike pre-emptively like this. Then again, he hadn't counted on there being a witness. Clearly he was doing his best to discredit them before Aaron himself accused him and he regretted being so hasty and getting rid of the video.  
'What did he say?' He breathed. 'What kind of abuse?'  
She paused at her end and he knew that she was wondering how she should put it. 'I don't want to talk about this over the phone but it's very serious. You've obviously got it all mixed up in your head...with something else and he's very upset because you told him that he's the reason you cut yourself. That true?'  
'When can I get my phone back? I need it.' He snapped back irritably. 'You know I use it for work and stuff?'  
'We're cutting our trip short. I'll come round to give...'  
But she didn't get to finish.  
'Bye.' He tried to rudely cut her off.  
'Aaron, wait a sec. I said I'll see you tomo...'  
He slammed the phone down in fury while Rob looked at him anxiously although part of him was glad to see Aaron get back to his old self even if he was angry. Better than crying, anyway. 

'Bad news?' He asked.  
'He told her I hit him and accused him of 'abuse'.  
'He told her?'  
He nodded furiously. 'Oh and she knows that he took my phone. Apparently, it just ended up in his pocket 'by mistake' when I 'hit him' and she swallowed it. Can you believe that?'  
'So, he's got to her first?'  
He nodded.  
'But still...this could be a good thing, couldn't it? Now it's out in the open?'  
'Fucking bastard...' He clenched his fists. 'Don't you get it? I didn't want her to know!... I was just going to leave!'  
'Did he tell her exactly what you accused him of?'  
'I don't think so. Left it vague. I think she's going to come round tomorrow to give me back my phone and talk about what he said. I just hope she doesn't bring him with her.'  
'She wouldn't do that.'  
'Are you sure? Thinks the sunshine shines out of his backside.' He squeezed the tears out of his eyes.  
'Sh....Aaron....' Rob went and sat next to him by the sofa as the tears finally fell.  
Aaron wiped them away furiously. 'Always crying...He's right, I am a little pussy!'  
'No, you're not. It's just what you've been through and you're still going through it now since he showed up.Especially after what he just did. ' Rob put a tentative arm around him and was encouraged when Aaron let it stay, even sighed as he curled inward against him.  
'Even if we had the video still, it wouldn't make any difference. She'd still believe him – like he said, he can wrap her around his little finger!' He continued to rage.  
'You don't know that. She's your mum, she'd believe you. Would never put a man before you even if he is your father.'  
'Maybe you believe that when according to Gordon, I'm the reason she left us because she couldn't stand living with me!'  
'Don't let him poison your mind when you know that's not true. He's the reason she left.'  
'I know tha now!' He couldn't help the impatience out of his voice. 'But I didn't know then!' Why was his friend telling him things he already knew?  
There was a brief pause while each man dwelled on his own thoughts.  
'Aaron?' Rob broke the silence.  
'What?'

'Have you considered telling your mum the whole story? I mean I don't want to keep on at you if you've made up your mind but it might be a good idea.'  
'What? Tell her how he used to buy me fish and chips afterwards everytime he raped me?'  
Rob gave a little grimace. 'I only thought...since Gordon's started it, you should finish it.'  
He rounded on him. 'I told you I'm not telling her anything! Or anyone!'  
'So you're just going to deny it if she asks you if it's true?'  
'YES! I'll say I made it up, I was confused...'  
'I think you should tell her. He needs to pay for what he did.'  
'Luckily for me it's not your decision. It's MINE!'  
'I know that. I'd never make you do anything you didn't want to do, you know that, don't you?'  
Aaron nodded, understanding that Robert was referring to more than that he would never betray his confidence.  
'Yes.' He ducked his head and nodded.  
Rob got up to make them some food after he took care of Aaron's wounds and gave him his medication and helped him up to the bathroom. He was getting stronger but still a bit wobbly on the stairs. Then they sat eating the spagbowl in silence, each lost in their own thoughts and watched telly for a few hours until Rob yawned and Aaron did the same.  
'Come here.' The older man had grabbed a blanket which he intended to wrap them both up in and spoon on the sofa.  
'I don't bite.'  
But Aaron had looked at him distrustfully and shook his head.  
'Think I want to sleep alone tonight.' He replied. 'The memories...What happened when he came round – I can't.'  
Rob did his best to hide his disappointment and he knew that Aaron's reaction was more Gordon's doing than his and he shouldn't take it personally. He knew he had to give the other man more time and he knew he'd be sleeping alone tonight.  
'Do you want to sleep in your bed?'  
He shook his head. 'Sounds stupid but I feel safer in here.' He added. 'With you.'  
Rob felt a warm glow in his chest. Maybe there is hope and Gordon hasn't ruined it for us forever.  
'He can't get at you here. We're getting the locks changed tomorrow first thing.'  
Despite this, Aaron shivered.  
'Sh...' Rob wanted to hold him again but he got pushed away.  
'Not ready.'  
But you let me before, Rob felt a little bitter as he backed off and resigned himself to sleeping on the floor.  
…  
Rob woke up to Aaron's gentle snoring, wishing that he could be closer to him. It didn't feel right sleeping on the floor and being so close yet so far.  
He closed his eyes and did his best to try and sleep but all he could see was that feral look on Gordon's face that changed him from a person to a wild animal, either that or him smirking smugly, like a floating Cheshire cat mid-air, thinking he'd won. How he hated that look because he didn't even think he'd done anything wrong or if he did, he wasn't even sorry for destroying his son's life.  
Rob wished he could wipe that smug grin off his face for good and make him feel as small and helpless like he'd made Aaron feel, not just when he was a child but only yesterday too. He wanted to make sure that no-one had the chance to make him feel that scared and worthless ever again. Bad enough to want to rip his skin to shreds.

Rob glanced over at him to make sure that he really was asleep before he went back to his phone and used his expensive hi-tech tracker app.  
After about 20 mins, it glowed green as it triangulated the signal and gave him the answer he'd been looking for. Apparently, Gordon hadn't switched Aaron's mobile off and it still had battery left.  
He knew where to find Gordon and if Chas was there with him, he'd deal with it.  
Hang on – didn't he need backup?  
Rob considered all the people who loved Aaron before he thought of someone who cared deeply about him.  
Someone who would have the balls to take the necessary action to keep Aaron safe.  
Rob slipped out into the kitchen and started calling the other person. Luckily, he wasn't asleep but his gruff voice sounded pissed-off. Then it got higher with disbelief and fury as the shock struck him when Rob told him about Gordon and how he'd abused Aaron when he was a child. His listener readily agreed to meet and help him do what had to be done, proving that Robert hadn't been wrong about him. The other man also agreed to keep Aaron's secret to himself for the moment.

Just after they'd reached an agreement, the young mechanic's former peaceful slumber became disturbed and he started crying in his sleep.  
That's what decided it for Rob as he said goodbye and went over and soothed his hair until he stopped without even waking up. As soon as he was convinced that he'd be OK for the next couple of hours or so, he started getting ready to go out.  
….............

It was 3 o'clock in the morning and they were in an abandoned warehouse outside Harrowgate which seemed to have been built for the purpose. Revenge and torture, that was. Chas had been taken care of when he'd sneaked up behind her with the chloroform so she wouldn't identify him later in the hotel bathroom after he and his accomplice had dealt with Gordon. 

‘I never loved him, you know. He was simply unlovable – his own mother couldn't cope with him so she left, neither could Sandra. Chas left me because of him! He's poison!’  
‘You’re the only one here that's poison.’ Robert replied coldly and cut another vicious deep cut on his chest and smiled at Gordon's scream. He had cut him for every scar on Aaron’s body - he'd kissed each one littering his boyfriend’s skin a hundred times (unfortunately only in his mind so far) but having a photographic memory didn't hinder his recall.  
Rob had thought long hard about how to punish the monster who had destroyed Aaron’s childhood because when it came down to it, it might as well have been Gordon holding the knife to Aaron everytime he punished himself.  
A few more slashes and agonised shrieks accompanied by callous and cheerful chuckles from the back wall.  
‘Aren’t you going to kill me?’ Gordon spat out a bloody tooth. ‘Better get on with it if you are.’  
‘Oh you’d like that, wouldn't you?’ Robert mocked, easily seeing through the man’s transparent goading. ‘But we’re not even halfway there yet. Still got the main event - your castration to come !’ Robert cried jovially and made a flourish with his hands at the tools of torture that the hired men – the real professionals – had brought with them, like a jovial circus master.  
'No, please don't. I should die, I know that but you don't have to do that.'  
'Oh, but I do. I'm going to geld you…one ball at a time, slowly, wake you each time you pass out from the pain then hack the rest of it off....and wake you up again so you can appreciate my handywork. And it'll be a long time before I actually let you die. You'll be begging me to let them by then.'  
'Aaron wouldn't want you to do this to me. He wouldn't let you if he was here!'  
'Well, then, that just proves that he still turned out to be a better man than you despite you telling him he was 'born bad' all those years. Even after everything you did to him.' Rob retorted.  
The paedophile closed his eyes, knowing that he was going to die and die bad slowly and that there was no reasoning with the devil in front of him.  
'Cain! You don't want to go to prison again! You're a good man!' He looked over Rob's shoulder to appeal to the man lurking in the shadows.  
'Most people around here would disagree with you.' Cain chimed in from the shadows at the back of the warehouse where he'd been watching but surprisingly not participating, only standing there with his arms crossed over his chest with a smirk on his face. 'Besides, none of us will be going to prison for this because no-one else will know. And don't look at me to save you because I won't. You hurt him and you need to pay for that.'  
'Don't worry about us.' Rob grinned. 'Seriously - because we’ve still got loads more fun to come before that …more cutting, dentist drills and burning with this blowtorch here – just a few…you see them over there - they're really good.'  
Gordon shuddered violently and closed his eyes and moaned in fear.  
'They're real professionals with years of experience on their CV's.' Rob added callously.  
He was loving twisting the knife in the wound. 'Only the best for my boyfriend's dear old dad.'  
'You think you two are together?' Aaron's father snapped back, desperately trying to hide his terror. 'I don't think he sees it that way. He hasn't forgotten how you used him and then tossed him aside like so much dirt when you were done with him. If I know my boy, he'll never really trust you after that.'  
‘You reckon? He loves me and I love him and he knows I do and I'm helping him get over what you did to him. Hopefully, after you're gone, your son can sleep the whole night through without waking up crying and we can live happy ever after.’  
‘Yeah, he's a little crybaby, I remember. The little sissy was always snivelling about something, must be very irritating for you.’  
'You fuck...' Rob drew back his fist in rage and knocked a couple more of his teeth out. Gordon gave a little defiant, bloody smile and spat them out.

‘I'd cry every day of life if my father did to me what you did to him. It's a miracle he's been able to go on like he has.’ Cain opened his mouth for the second time.  
‘Chas told me he cuts himself. I thought only teenage girls did that kind of thing. What a little fuck-up.’ Gordon was trying to taunt them into killing him to avoid the prolonged torture and they all knew it.  
‘Shut –up!’ Robert kicked him the groin while their audience laughed and let out cat-calls.  
His victim for his part, shrieked and would have buckled in pain but he was unable to, tied up upright as he was, hanging from the rafters.  
‘Don't you get it? You're the reason he hurts himself!’ Rob screamed before with a savage grin, he grabbed the blowtorch and unable to stop himself and draw out the castration like he intended, he waved it under the son- raping bastard’s balls from behind, singing them off instead. However, he artfully stopped before he reached the rest of his genitals. The pervert’s screams of agony rising to high heaven were music to his ears but then the inevitable happened, his victim passed out to his great disappointment. It didn't matter though because he just motioned to the taller heavy to bring the bucket over and he threw the liquid in the child rapist’s face. Thanks to the cauterising effect of the blowtorch, Robert wasn't worried that he'd bleed to death before he’d even nearly punished him enough for hurting the man he loved when he was young and helpless and too small to fight back. That's why he made sure he wouldn't die to soon.  
It only took a few seconds for Aaron’s father to recover, moaning in pain and shivering with shock. Had Aaron looked as shell-shocked as that after the first time this man in front of him forced himself on him? This thought filled Robert with renewed rage as he reached for the blunt file on the table. Meanwhile, the hired thugs looked on with amusement because their employer had taken over and was doing their job for them. With even more gusto than they could have raised themselves but then again, it was much more personal for him. Although they had got many kicks turning men like Gordon into huddled, bloody screaming hunks of flesh who in the end, couldn't think but only feel the pain.  
‘Guess what I'm going to do?’ Robert laughed in his face. ‘I'm going to cut off the rest of your thing that you used to hurt Aaron with this.’ He waved the bolt-cutters in his face.  
Gordon paled and almost forgot the rest of his agony in the face of this new threat of torture.  
‘No, please! You can't do this!’  
'Why? You already lost your balls... Literally.' Rob guffawed at his own joke.'Then I'm going to cauterise the wound, wake you up again with this bucket of piss we all contributed to, maybe get out the electric wires…’  
Gordon started to sob himself now, sounding surprisingly like his son as he finally dropped the act completely.  
'Please tell him I'm sorry. Tell him to be happy and that it wasn't his fault what I did. Tell him that whatever happened between us, I never stopped loving him. It was just the stress...Chas leaving then losing my job...Me and Sandra should never have been together...'  
Rob drew back in surprise while Cain and the other men murmured restlessly in the background.  
'Don't say it if you don't mean it.' Rob snapped. 'You don't give a shit about him, you never have. You're only saying sorry now because you think we'll go easy on you. Well, we won't.'  
Gordon stared back at him. 'I mean it, every word. I know saying it won't make a difference to how this is going to play out. Please tell him! Maybe...maybe it will stop him hurting himself!'  
Rob seemed undecided and rooted to the spot before he started to nod reluctantly.  
'Only for his sake.' He hissed. 'Not yours.' He said before he reached for the white dentist drill behind him.  
'Now, where were we?' With a small, cruel smile, he placed it in the corner of his victim's mouth as he tried in vain to cringe away.  
'No – God...please... No! Don't do that!'  
'Aaron probably said that before you forced yourself on him, felt just as scared as you now. Ever think of that?'  
Gordon's eyes were round with horror and he was too terrified to speak.  
'Open up! Otherwise this'll shatter your jaw, most likely.' Rob was surprised at how much he was enjoying this but God knows, he'd always known there was something dark inside him just waiting for an excuse to be unleashed.  
Gordon shook his head in terror and only made muffled noises because he was afraid to open his mouth while the lines on his face grew more drawn in horror. Robert smiled sweetly, the dark side of him was enjoying this. It came in handy when it came to protecting Aaron, he found he was capable of anything when Aaron was hurting.  
Still grinning and sensing that even Cain behind him was finding this hard to watch – he'd turned his face away slightly - and the hired help were wondering if they were going to get paid for the night, Rob turned on the drill, holding Gordon firm with one hand while pressing the bit against his mouth.  
Gordon screamed to high heaven – or rather high hell where he was inevitably destined.  
…............................

 

Just then, Gordon’s face melted and his body seemed to get shimmery and morphed into Aaron! He was the one hanging from the warehouse rafters, bleeding and crying, pleading for mercy.  
‘No! Please don't!’, Aaron/Gordon cried. While Cain and the hired thugs faded silently into thin air.  
'You hurt him and you hurt me.’ Those words came back to haunt him although why Aaron still gave a flying fuck about the man was simply beyond Robert’s comprehension.  
‘No!’ Robert thought he screamed in his sleep and hugged himself but realised that something was lying on his chest as he came out of the dream in complete darkness. He started to panic and scramble away then he felt a slight movement and something soft tickle his chest (which felt strangely wet)and he realised what it was. Aaron was weeping in his slumber and his hot tears in were falling in him.  
‘Don’t, please Dad. I'll be good. I'm not bad! Just don't touch me there, please Dad..’ His words were muffled as he spoke them against Robert’s torso but the latter heard every word. Robert felt like his heart was shattering into little pieces.  
‘No…I don't want to! Get off me!’ He raised his voice in anger before he let out a deep sob and gripped Robert’s side so tightly with both hands that it hurt. Aaron getting rough and demanding in bed was a huge turn on usually but not when he was talking in that little- boy voice and he could feel more of his tears dripping all over him.  
‘Shh….It's OK.’ Finally Robert got to do what he wanted to earlier and comfort him properly as he stroked his hair but he wished to God he didn't have to. ‘I'm here. He can't get at you.'  
But even as the words passed his lips, he knew it wasn't true. Gordon had stolen Chas' key and broken in, molested and scared Aaron before Rob found him.  
Aaron made sleepy scoffing noises at that but he did he slacken his grip on him slightly. Even better, Robert could feel his heart slowing from its jack-hammer beat to a more relaxed, strolling along tempo. Then he tensed up again. ‘Dad…You're hurting me…Stop!’.  
‘Sh… It's me. He's not here and he won't ever be if I've got anything to do with it,’ he replied, recalling the dream.  
That seemed to settle him down for good meanwhile Robert lay there awake,wondering if it was a good idea to let him wake up with them like this, thinking that he might jump to all the wrong conclusions…

Aaron muttered angrily in his sleep and curled in closer to him and slung one arm across his friend’s chest. For his part, Robert hugged him closer and buried his face in the top of his hair. How he used to love the uncompromisingly masculine smell peculiar to his ex- engine oil, sawdust and sweat.  
Robert eventually drifted off, happy that Aaron trusted him. And that he hadn't really kidnapped and tortured Gordon although a huge part of him badly wanted to.


	14. Catatonia

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A big shock coming in this chapter! How can Rob convince Aaron to tell Chas and will she believe him?  
> Thanks for the comments and reviews already. If you like this story, please leave some feedback, it would make the author very happy. x

Rob was awakened by the shrill ring of the doorbell and a male voice saying, 'Hello? It's the locksmith here. Can you let me in please?'  
He rolled his eyes as he glanced at the clock on the wall which said 9am as he listened to Aaron gently snore on top of him. He knew that he himself didn't snore and he'd often teased his ex about it back when they'd been involved in their dirty, illicit little affair. He wondered what Aaron would say to find them lying like this on the floor with a blanket tossed over them. Would he freak out?

Meanwhile said man stirred and opened his eyes in shock. He looked dazedly around him. 'Where am I? What am I doing here on the floor?'  
'Sorry.' Rob immediately disentangled himself from him. 'I know that you said that you wanted to sleep alone last night but I didn't want you to think...You must have got up and come down here in your sleep.'  
'It's OK. It's not that I don't trust you. I just don't remember leaving the sofa last night, that's all.'  
'I woke up in the middle of the night with us like this, didn't have the heart to move you.'  
The doorbell rang again impatiently. 'Excuse me but I can hear you. Do you mind letting me in because I have a whole list of properties to get through this morning.'  
'Can you hold on a minute, mate? I ain't dressed.' Rob called out in reply while Aaron looked at him in horror.  
'I mean I slept with my boxers on. Don't worry. Nothing happened, I swear.' He explained in a whisper. 

Aaron visibly relaxed. It wasn't that he didn't think Rob would go against his wishes or try to take advantage of him, at least not now - it was just that maybe he couldn't trust himself when he was sleepwalking.  
'Must be a sign, eh?' Rob tried to laugh it off. 'Maybe we're meant to be.'  
Aaron didn't respond to his joke to his great disappointment but got up a little stiffly to go upstairs to the bathroom for a shower while Robert watched him appreciatively.  
'So you're feeling better?'  
'Yeah, thanks. Stronger anyway, you better let him in.' Aaron jerked his head towards the door.  
Just then the doorbell rang again impatiently.  
'OK, OK!' Rob pulled on his jeans. 'Hold your horses, I'm coming!'  
He let the middle-aged locksmith with ruddy cheeks from the cold in who was looking considerably pissed off.  
'Sorry.' Rob told him. 'Would you like a cup of tea or coffee while you're working?'  
The man's irritated expression softened a little at that. 'Coffee, please. One milk and two sugars.'  
Rob heard the toilet flush then a few seconds after, the shower running. Aaron was planning on staying upstairs no doubt to stay out of the way until the visitor had gone.  
The blond man went into the kitchen to make the coffee.  
The man whistled as he worked which although annoying was nothing to the drilling. Robert grit his teeth at the sound and wondered how Aaron was faring upstairs with his already frayed nerves. Anyway, he was pleased to see him get his strength back and be able to move about normally.  
When he padded back into the hallway, the locksmith took the steaming cup of coffee gratefully from Rob as he handed it to him and took a few sips before he finished off his work.  
Suddenly, Rob was looking at a brand new keyhole and a set of bright new silver keys with spare copies in his hand.  
'That'll be £60.00, please.' The man handed him the bill as he finished his drink.  
'60 quid? That's a bit steep, ain't it? Rob couldn't believe it although he could well-afford it. 'Can I give you a cheque or do you accept cards?'  
'Card payment is better.' Meanwhile, Rob kept an ear out for Aaron, praying that he wasn't up there cutting himself.  
'Fine.'  
'Let me get the machine.' He went over to his toolbag and got out the card-reader. It had batteries – didn't even need to be connected to the mains.  
Rob punched in his pin number and signed the slip of paper with a sigh and saw the man out.  
As soon as the door closed was closed behind him, Aaron came back down in fresh jeans and a T-shirt.  
Rob could see the tops of his perfectly narrowed hips where the shirt didn't quite cover them and felt a brief moment of longing for what he currently (at least) couldn't have.  
'You OK?' Rob scanned him carefully for any new injuries on the skin that wasn't covered by his clothes.  
'I know what you're thinking and no I didn't.' Aaron snapped bad-temperedly. 'You're worse than my mum and Paddy.'  
'I'm sorry but you can't blame me for worrying.'  
''Spose not.' The other grudgingly admitted.  
'Fancy a coffee?'  
'Yeah,... please.'  
Rob got them two mugs of fresh coffee with just the right amount of milk he knew he liked with one sugar.  
'So, you had any more thoughts about telling Chas about Gordon?'  
Aaron looked at him in surprise. 'No. Why? I told you last night I wasn't going to tell her. It would destroy her.'  
'And it's not destroying you now?'  
'It happened to me and I'll be the one who decides how to deal with Gordon! Told you, I'm planning on leaving.' He said it just like that, matter-of-factly when he knew how Rob felt about him! But right then, he didn't seem to care. Rob understood that he just wanted to survive away from his father but didn't he see that he was letting Gordon carry on controlling him? Rob hadn't really expected him to have changed his mind in one day but his heart sank just the same because where did it leave their relationship? Rob knew he couldn't leave the village, he had too much invested there and there were his businesses in town. Besides, his motives weren't purely selfish – he knew that Aaron would never feel safe or be completely happy while his father was at large.  
'Look, I don't want to go on about it but you need to consider the whole picture. You should tell Chas because even if you go somewhere else, do you think that's going to stop him threatening you and making your life hell? You'll never know a minute's peace. And he'll still be destroying your relationship with your mum behind your back – you going to let him get away with it?  
'So? I'll deal with it when it happens.'  
'What about Chas? What if he does the same thing to her?' How Rob hated adding to his burden and making him worry but he had to make him see sense.  
'What do you mean?' His voice cracked and those tears that seemed ever-present near the surface sprang into his eyes. Oh, it hurts so much to make him cry, Rob thought, hating himself as he ruthlessly pressed his point home.  
'He might do what he did to her.'  
'He wouldn't!' His tone sounded strangely indignant and defensive of his father.  
'You don't know that for sure, I admit tbut you know what he's capable of. What if he's done it to any other kids?'  
'Oh God...' Now he was sobbing for real when he imagined any other little kid going through what he did with Gordon, especially when it might be his fault because he never told a soul what his father was doing to him. 'No..., please, no....' He moaned.  
Rob could stand it no longer. 'I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I just had to make you see.' He put an arm around him gingerly and was pleased to see Aaron accept it. Even lean into him. 'Sh...'  
'But he said I was the only one! Because I was so naughty! He did!'  
'She needs to know, Aaron. But I won't try to make you do anything you don't want to. Your choice.'  
Aaron nodded, understanding that Rob wasn't only referring to making him tell Chas.  
'If you decide to tell her, I'll be there with you all the way. Even if we only end up as friends. Promise.' Rob bent down and kissed his temple. Then the phone rang.  
'That'll be my mum.' Aaron shook him off and got up to answer it, wiping his eyes and bringing himself back under control.  
'Are you going to tell her?'  
Aaron shook his head nervously but Rob slipped a hand in his, making him look up at him gratefully. Next he made sure that the loudspeaker was on so both of them could hear the conversation.  
...  
'Mum?'  
'Why did you put the phone down on me last night?'  
'Why do you think? Is Gordon there? Is he listening to us?'  
'What? ...No, he's out, he's gone to the shop for something.' She said, clearly bewildered. 'Are you OK? How's your infection?'  
'Better.'  
'Tell me the truth, have you hurt yourself since you came out of hospital?'  
'No.' He replied simply. The truth and it must have convinced her because she let out a long sigh of relief.  
'How about I bring your phone around at 3?'  
'Fine as long as you don't bring him.'  
There was a painful pause.  
'I wasn't going to knowing how much you hate the sight of him. But why shouldn't I?'  
'Are you serious? He stole my phone!' Rob squeezed his hand reassuringly.  
'Now, ' Her tone was teacher-like and infuriatingly patient. 'We've already gone over this. You accused him of abuse and hit him and he took your phone by accident during the fight.'  
'You really believe that? I hit him?  
'He admitted that he hit you a few times when you lived with him. But he's sorry now, can't you forgive him? It's so hard to be a perfect parent, we always make mistakes and you'll understand that if you ever have any children of your own.'  
As if, Aaron thought bitterly to himself. I'd have to adopt if I do. And do those 'mistakes' include rape?  
'Mum, he never hit me. He did something much worse.'  
Another pregnant pause while she drew in her breath sharply.  
'What...what are you saying? Why would he admit to hitting you if he didn't?'  
'Because he's covering up what he really did, that's why!'  
'Yes!' Rob shouted silently in his ear. 'Tell her!  
Another pregnant pause before she asked in a subdued voice, 'What did he do to you?'  
Robert gave his fingers another little squeeze of encouragement. 'Go on', he mouthed at him.  
Aaron took a deep breath tp prepare himself. 'When he came round? Gordon attacked me like he used to.'  
'He hit you?' She still didn't get it but Aaron knew that she was desperately trying to drag out one more moment of blissful ignorance because she couldn't face what he was telling her and he didn't blame her.  
'Gordon raped me when I was a child, mum! And yesterday he tried to do the same to me. Rob was out and he had your key and he let himself in...'  
'Oh, God...no...' She breathed and he could tell that she was about to cry. How he hated making her cry.  
'Mum, I never wanted to hurt you. Especially not on the phone like this but he left me no choice. He tried to rape me and he threatened to do it again.'  
Her voice suddenly brightened as she imagined that she'd spotted a flaw in his story, the last straw she could cling to. 'I know you believe what you're saying but it can't be true. Because you're not a little boy anymore so he couldn't have done that when he came round. You're a grown man now.'  
'He did! I was so ill and weak that I couldn't even make it up the stairs to the bathroom without Rob helping me. I couldn't fight him off!'  
'But you still had the strength to hit him.'  
'I told you already that's not true. I didn't!'  
'Then who did? His face was marked, I saw it!'  
'Rob did when he came back and found us.'  
'Why?'  
'To get him off me. They scuffled but Rob lost the fight and Gordon got away. Not without threatening me first before he left though. He saw everything!' He nearly mentioned the video but what was the point? It was gone now.  
'Oh, of course Rob was there. It's obvious he's in love with you and feeling guilty as hell so he'd say anything to get back into your good books. Including lie about an innocent man!'  
'He's not innocent!'  
'I'm not saying you're lying deliberately...but you know your head hasn't been in the right place lately. Did Rob make you say all of this?'  
Rob's expression reddened with rage.  
'I'm telling the truth! You can ask him!'  
'I wouldn't trust a word that came out of that deceitful boy's mouth. Everybody knows his history and reputation. Who would believe him? He's poisoning your mind – you should get rid of him!'  
'Fucking bitch', the businessman muttered under his breath.  
'Why would he do that?' Aaron demanded, managing to hold onto his emotions.  
'Because he's sick and twisted.'  
'The only person who's sick and twisted is your fiancee. How does marrying a paedophile make you feel, mother?'  
There was a pause, no doubt as Chas considered this as she was trying to weigh up all the facts in her head and what she'd been told.  
'I admit that probably something happened to you and we want to get down to the truth and punish the person responsible. The reason for your self-harming. Your father mentioned a football coach who had a dodgy reputation with the boys on his team....when you were at school, you were on the football team, weren't you? Can you remember anything weird happening then?'  
'He said that?' Aaron's voice cracked and he started to sob, realising that he'd been ambushed once again. His father was simply to clever for them.  
'What the fuck?' Rob mouthed and held him tight.  
'Aaron? Sh, don't cry, baby. It'll be OK, you just need a bit more therapy, that's all. And get rid of Robert. ' Chas crooned anxiously but he wasn't listening. He'd already dropped the phone.  
'Listen, you stupid bitch.' Rob had snatched it up. 'It's all true! I saw with my own two eyes...I...Your ex-husband was raping him and he really was too sick to move, let alone fight back. And I had to punch him to make him stop.'  
'Is that you, Rob? Where is he? What did you say to him?... Let me talk to him.'  
'Well, he doesn't want to talk to you.'  
'Is he OK?'  
'No, thanks to you. You made him cry!'  
'Just let him on the phone, please.' Despite her reputation for being a feisty drama-queen, she remained calm throughout all this although he had to give it to her – clearly she was worried sick about her son even if she was completely deluded.  
'No!'  
'Aaron!' She screamed down the phone, trying to reach him. 'Don't cry, sweetheart. Don't let him put things in your head...I'll come round straightaway, OK? Just hold on until then.'  
Rob slammed down the phone in disgust but it immediately started ringing again. He looked at Aaron but he was in his own little world, curled up against the sofa in a tight little ball, oblivious to everything going on around him as the tears streamed down his face. He made no move to wipe them away.  
Rob yanked out the phone cord in his fury and when his own phone rang with Chas's caller-ID, he put it on immediate divert. He thought about blocking her number but then thought better of it.  
But she left a message.  
He listened to it, still seething. How could she not believe them? Put that scumbag before her own son when all the evidence was right in front of her eyes? He probably stole Aaron's spare key from her handbag and snatched his phone but she still thought this was normal behaviour. Obviously, Gordon was trying to hide something. But that wouldn't have stopped Aaron from calling her.  
He played it again for Aaron who showed no response.

'Hi Aaron. I hope Rob lets you hear this but judging by the disgusting way he spoke to me just now, I doubt he will. I'll be right over as soon as I can and we can talk about what you think happened. I didn't meant to upset you just now, can you just hold on until I get there? Please, please don't hurt yourself. I didn't mean it to come out like it did on the phone.  
Love Mum.  
….  
'What you think happened?' How touching, Rob thought bitterly to himself. It's too little, too late. He only needed you to say that you believed him but you couldn't even do that, could you, you stupid, selfish bitch?'

Aaron didn't react to the sound of his mother's voice, didn't seem to hear. Was just lost in his own world full of unspeakable pain. Being raped by his father was bad enough, then to have him come and nearly do it again when he was a fully grown man like he was nothing was worse but not to have his own mother believe him and betray him had pushed him right over the edge of sanity. His damaged psyche couldn't take any more and had simply given up.  
'Sh...' Robert went over there and soothed back his hair.  
Aaron was like a frozen statue which scared the hell out of his friend who had never seen him like this. He might as well have been dead for all the life he showed. But he was still breathing and his heart was still beating but that was as far as it went.  
'Aaron...I've got the video. I never deleted it...you can show her that and then she'll have to believe you.'  
Rob looked for any sign of life, any at all but was gravely disappointed. Chas and what she did or didn't believe were the last things on his mind right now.  
'No, no, no!' He screamed as realization struck him and he held the limp body to him as he started to rock them back and forth. 'NO! Not when I'd only just got you back. Please don't leave me all alone, please come back to me. We can do it, I've still got the recording, we can put him away for good if you only just come back to me.' Now he was sobbing himself. 'I never appreciated you much before, never treated you like you deserved to be treated, please give me another chance to make it right. I'll treat you like a prince, I promise.'  
No answer, not even a flicker of an eyelid to let him know that he'd been heard.  
'I love you so much, Aaron, even if you can't love me back. I think you were starting to but I mean, how could you really? Your dad always made you feel worthless so much that you finally believed you were when I'm the one who's not worth pissing on. It's not fair! It should have have been me, not you!'

'I love you so much, Aaron.'


	15. Loss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh no, what's happened to Aaron? Will he ever recover?
> 
> Please leave a comment if you like this story. It would make my day!

Rob beside himself and ran through all the options in his head as Aaron failed to respond.  
'Please, wake up!' He was crying himself by now. 'I can't live without you!' He shook him gently, tried kissing the corner of his mouth. Did everything he could to rouse him but Aaron still remained alive yet lifeless in his arms.  
He sat there clutching his body for how long he didn't know. He thought he should call an ambulance but Aaron wasn't dying, was he? Or only his heart was. But his body was still fine. Rob kept checking his pulse which was beating strong and slow and listening to his breathing which was normal, as he knew it would be.  
Should he phone Aaron' s stepfather? Naturally he didn't want to call Chas who was coming round anyway and who he blamed for his state. But Paddy had a special bond with him – and he was a vet – no, that probably wouldn't help but maybe he knew some way of getting through to him.  
But they would blame him no doubt even though he knew that it Aaron's mother who had pushed him to this. By not believing him and trying to whitewash Aaron's accusations, using his 'mental illness' to discredit him when he wouldn't be mentally ill anyway if it wasn't for Gordon and what he did.  
Rob was sure of it.  
Chas had originally said she was coming around at 3 – but after the argument with her son on her phone, she had hinted that she would come round sooner if she could. To be frank, Rob didn't know if he could stand being in the same room as her, he felt like he might throttle her.  
Chas was the last thing on his mind though, he was worried sick about Aaron. He didn't understand what had happened to him, didn't know if it had happened before or what to do about it. He might blame Chas but she would no doubt shrug off responsibility and blame him. Neither her nor Paddy trusted him as far as they could throw him with Aaron although her hypocrisy was laughable.  
Especially now.  
Rob knew he used to be a bad man who had done despicable things, even to Aaron. But he hadn't known what he wanted. After....after what happened to Rob, he'd changed. Been determined not to trust anyone or let anyone near him and that included Aaron. Physically maybe but emotionally?  
Not a chance.  
He hadn't realised the extent of his feelings for the other man, thought he was just using him as a diversion to get away from Chrissie who sometimes could be too overwhelming as well as demanding. But now Aaron was lost to him, he knew his true feelings for him. He just hoped that he would wake up and eventually reciprocate like he had started to but Rob was determined not to push him.  
If Aaron decided he really wanted Rob, it would be on his own terms, not Rob's.  
If he ever woke up, that was.  
But something told him that this was no ordinary sleep.  
Aaron was in some kind of coma-like state brought on by his mother's betrayal and Chas' reaction had been the final nail in the coffin.  
Rob wanted to phone her back and tell her exactly what she'd done.  
But he didn't.  
He only waited for how long he had no idea. There was no time, no space, only him and Aaron as he desperately willed him to snap out of it.  
…...  
'Aaron?' He sobbed and patted his cheek gently but there wasn't either a flicker or response.  
'Nooo...don't do this to me, please...This is all her fault, can't believe she did this.' He rocked them slowly back and forth.  
'We've got the video, come on. You can't let him win! This is what he wants you know, to prove you're crazy!'  
Nothing. Only Aaron's lungs continued to draw in oxygen which his heart insisted on pumping around his body and his lungs stubbornly continued to exhale carbon-dioxide.  
'Fuckin' bitch! She's even worse than him!' Rob hissed suddenly, overcome with frustration as well as fear.  
Aaron's eyelids fluttered to that so slightly that Rob didn't notice as he carried on berating Chas under his breath and his eyes slowly widened and he flushed with indignation  
as he realised what he was hearing.  
'Don't.' Aaron protested, stirring weakly. 'Don't call my mother that!' He wrenched himself away from his arms and drew back his fist to punch him!  
Rob was shocked as he held up his hands in mock surrender. 'I'm sorry....you weren't meant to hear that. I just can't believe that she was still trying to defend him!'  
Aaron growled and lowered his fists. 'Maybe but you ever call her that again...and we're finished! I told you it's not her fault, it's him. You don't know what he's like...'  
'I guess I'm just so angry with her right now...She made you...'  
'Made me do what? You want to be me with me, you bloody show respect to my mum!' He was back to his own fiercely assertive self and even though his anger was aimed at him, Rob felt glad.  
'Don't you remember what she said to you - she didn't believe you!'  
Aaron sighed and turned away before he realised he had lost time and he swung back round to face him. 'What happened to me?'  
'I dunno...you kind of fainted...' Rob didn't have words for it. Besides, he didn't want to worry him.  
Aaron stared at him and rose one eyebrow in scorn. 'Me? Faint? What the fuck?'  
'Yeah.'  
'She's coming round soon. You ready to show her the truth?'  
'What do you mean 'show'?  
'I've still got the video, silly.'  
'You mean...you didn't delete it like I asked you to?' Aaron's eyes widened disbelievingly.  
'No.'  
'Show me!'  
Rob played it until Aaron turned away with a look of disgust on his face at the sound of his father's voice and his noises of pleasure.  
However, the excitement and relief was clear on his face when he flung himself into his friend's arms in gratitude and kissed him in sheer joy.  
Despite the circumstances, Rob allowed himself a little smile and held him to him.  
'Can't relax until I've shown her the video but I got to admit it, I'm dreading it.'  
'Just put it on audio.'  
'Probably a good idea, don't want her to see us – me like that.' Aaron's voice cracked and grew teary and Rob rocked them slowly.  
'She doesn't have to. Want me to stay?'  
'Nah. You better go when she's here. You're not exactly her favourite person at the moment after what you called her on the phone!'  
'But she upset you! She made you cry!'  
'Wasn't her. I told you that it's him and what he's done to us.'  
'Then you better stop him.'  
'I will. Gordon's not going to get away with it.' He got up resolutely. 'And I'm going to make sure my mum knows what he did.'  
'You sure you don't want me there with you?'  
'No, I better tell her by myself.' He frowned. 'What's the time? How long was I out?'  
'It's nearly 2. To be fair - I think your mum was really worried.' Rob admitted generously. 'But she should never have doubted you.' He added.  
'Look – she's in love with the bastard, what do you expect? And he has this way of twisting things – I should know...Can you go and do something? Maybe check on my office – you can go and fetch my post if you like.'  
'Will do. Just let me have a cup of tea first. You want one?'  
Aaron nodded.  
…  
After Rob went, Aaron sat on the sofa and played nervously with his phone. He kept toying with the video 'play' button, not quite daring to press it. He'd put on a brave face for his boyfriend but inside he was falling apart. He wanted Rob by his side more than anything but he knew it wasn't a good idea when he confronted Chas.  
'Not going to cry, not going to cry.' He mumbled. 'He can't make me cry anymore.' He psyched himself up.  
The young man sat like there unseeing, fiddling distractedly with the mobile until he heard someone trying a key in the lock and nearly jumped out of his skin. Illogically, his first thought that it was Gordon who had attacked Rob and stolen his spare key and had come back to get him.  
Or at the very least, make sure he kept quiet.  
'Aaron? You there? Are you OK now?...Why won't my key work?'  
He sighed with relief. It was Chas but he didn't speak to her as he silently let her in and turned on the mobile.  
She was getting worried. 'Aaron? Why won't you speak to me?'  
She frowned. 'What are you doing?'  
'Just listen.'  
Gordon's hateful voice was playing. 'Fuck. You don't know how much I missed doing this. I remember your first time when you were so scared...didn't have a clue what was going on...'  
'I was 8, you fucking pervert!'  
'No...'She gasped and covered her mouth with her hand in shock. She shook her head as the video went on.  
'Get off me!'  
'Stop! I don't want this!' Chas heard her adult son cry out.  
'I'll tell Mum!' Chas winced at that.  
'She'll never marry you when she hears about this!'  
'Want to bet on it? Prove it. She never could function properly without a man to look after her and it was so easy to get the stupid slut into bed.'  
Aaron had played with the idea of cutting that bit out or not letting her hear it but at the last minute he'd decided she should hear what his father really thought of her. What kind of man he was.  
Chas went bright red and clenched her fists. 'The bastard...'  
'Don't call her that! She's not!'  
As it went on, Aaron didn't recall moving away from the sofa and sliding down the opposite wall to the floor.  
He hugged his knees as his gaze became unseeing and the inevitable tears started to fall.  
Chas flinched everytime she heard Aaron utter cries of disgusted protest but painful as it was, she found that she couldn't help but listen.  
'I reckon I can wrap her around my little finger...Even if you did get the courage to tell her about us, she would never believe you.' They heard Gordon taunt between moans. 'Because I can make her believe anything I want and you're just a mentally ill little boy.' He continued.  
She winced.  
'Fuck you! I wish you'd died of cancer!' His mother recoiled at Aaron's outburst too.  
...  
'I can't listen to anymore of this!' She turned it off in disgust and went to where her son was to kneel in front of him. 'It's sick.'  
'Mum...' He looked up at her.  
'Is that what you were trying to tell me?' She touched his shoulder hesitantly.  
He nodded miserably.  
'Is that what he did when he came round?'  
'Yeah.' His voice was small.  
'I'm so sorry, baby. So sorry I didn't believe you.'  
He started to really sob now.  
She stroked his cheek with the back of one hand then brushed back his long fringe from his face.  
'Can you forgive me?'  
He nodded.  
'Now you know why I changed the lock.'  
She nodded in understanding as she soothed back his hair carefully. 'I'm sorry for not believing you. Please, please, son, don't hate me for it.'  
He wiped his eyes with one hand. 'I don't. If anyone knows how manipulative he can be, it's me. It weren't your fault. See – he gets inside your head and he twists things and makes you see what he wants you to see and you can't...' He broke down  
'Sh...' She brushed back his hair. 'I can't believe he tried to ...tried to...' She couldn't even say the words.  
'When did he...the first time?' She swallowed hard.  
He cleared his throat nervously. 'You heard him. I was 8 the first time he did it to me, mum.'  
'He...he...went all the way with you?' She didn't know how else to put it.  
He nodded.  
'And yesterday?'  
'You know that I was too ill to fight him off? But Rob came home and disturbed him.'  
'Thank-God.'  
Her expression of relief quickly turned to suspicion and she frowned. 'But why...I assume he was the one who recorded it – didn't he help you?'  
'Because he knew that I needed to get evidence, that's why!' He snapped, getting defensive.  
'Still, it's strange he did that...How could he stand there and watch while he was doing that to you?'  
'No, it's not! He knew I would want him to do it.'  
'Did you call the police after?'  
'No. What's the point?'  
'Because we'd have a police record of it by now.'  
There was a pause while Aaron carefully considered her words.  
'Rob wanted us to go and tell the cops but I was feeling so dirty... All I wanted was to get in the bath.'  
'Tell me what he did to you, love. When you were little. Tell me everything.'  
'I can't! Because you don't want to hear it. You'll have to listen to it in court if we ever get there.'  
'Exactly. And we will.' She wiped her eyes, it was painful as hell but her guilt was demanding that she endure it. 'So, it's better you prepare me now.'  
'Mum...' He wiped his eyes and wept.  
'What did he do to you when you lived with him and Sandra?'  
'You really want to know? He did everything to me! He raped me but that's not the only thing he did!'  
'What you mean he...he...?'  
'He made me do everything.' He broke down and sobbed. 'You know...to him.'  
'Oh...' She sighed and stroked the hair at his nape. 'Oh...sh...my poor baby.' She put her arm around him.  
'Did he hit you as well?' She asked after he'd calmed down enough and got some of his composure back.  
'Never.'  
'So he lied about that and he played me like a fool. I'm going to kill him!'  
'No, don't...'  
'You still protecting him after what he did?'  
'Not him.. I'm protecting you, Mum. And I don't want anyone to go down for him – he ain't worth it.'  
'You're right about that. But it would make me feel a hell of a lot better.'  
'That's what he wants, to get something to use against us.'  
'I can't believe I never noticed the signs when you came here to visit. I would never have left you there but you said you wanted to stay with your father and not me.'  
'I did, Mum. At first. He hadn't done anything to me by then. But later...he started arguing with Sandra, had trouble with his job...'  
'And he took it out on you everytime, didn't he?'  
He nodded.  
'My poor baby!' She stroked his hair. 'How often did he...?'  
'Several times a month. Not always rape but he made me do other stuff to him.'  
She let out a small sound of shock.  
'And you went through it all on your own?'  
He turned his head away. 'At first I wasn't even sure it was happening...especially after the first time when he acted normal the next day. Like nothing happened.'  
'Oh, I bet he did.'  
'Then he started to use it to threaten me. Control me. Didn't work in the end when I figured it out that it didn't make any difference how good I was and I just started acting out. But then he'd just 'punish' me more.'  
'Punish you? It's not your fault. You were just a normal boy – a normal teenager. All kids rebel...Didn't give him the right to …'  
'I know. But I used to think it was because I was 'born bad' like he said.'  
'He said that to you? The sick bas...' Her voice rose in incredulity.  
He nodded. 'All the time. Told me that was his reason why he ...why he...' He broke down again.  
'Oh, sweetheart...' She crooned and put her arms around him. 'Come here.'  
'I can't stop crying...I kept it to myself for years and now it's come out...' He cried. 'If it wasn't for Rob...He left Chrissie for me, did you know?'  
'Everybody was gossiping about it, especially the old biddies but they'll soon move onto something else. Besides, nobody could blame you for being upset. Don't worry, we'll get him, he's going to pay for what he did.'  
'You really think so?' He looked up at her with wet eyes full of cautious hope. In his mind, his father had always seemed bigger than God and twice as invincible and the idea still persisted at the back of his mind. But now that his mother was on his side, Gordon suddenly didn't seem so powerful.  
She nodded and pulled her to him and Aaron cried on her shoulder while she did her best to comfort him. That was until they heard Rob at the door and he pulled away from his mother and sniffed, wiping away his tears.  
The blonde businessman let himself in and stopped when he saw them on the floor together.  
'I'll um...make myself scarce.' He said, obviously uncomfortable with Chas there and Aaron's red eyes looking like he'd been crying, Rob had planned on her being gone by now.  
'Don't go on my account.' She looked up at him, while not exactly smiling, she wasn't hostile at least. 'He told me that you've been here for him.'  
'Did you tell her about Gordon? What he did to you?' Rob addressed this question to his boyfriend.  
'Yes, he did.' Chas answered for him before he could. 'And I listened to your recording.' She added with a slight note of recrimination in her voice before she got up to advance on and eyeball her son's boyfriend at the same time.  
'I appreciate what you've done for him and I know you're together now. But you let him down or hurt him again, I'll make sure you're finished around here. For good.' She threatened.  
'Mum!'  
'He's in no fit state to be messed around or have his heart broken again.' She didn't realise that she was echoing her son's fiercely protective stepfather.  
'I'm not that fragile...' Aaron started but was interrupted by his boyfriend's outburst.  
'We love each other!' Rob cried, seeing where the son got his feistiness from. 'I know I was an arsehole before but this is the real thing.' He moved to stand next him.  
'It better be.' She glared but then backed off, seemingly appeased by his answer but not totally won over. ' I'm watching you!' She waggled her finger at him.  
'Right, well as long as you think you'll be alright here with him, Aaron, I have to go.'  
'What are you going to say to Gordon?' Aaron asked a little anxiously and Rob rubbed his arm.  
'I haven't decided yet. But one thing's for sure, the wedding's off.'  
Aaron nodded and breathed a shallow sigh of relief.  
'Bye, son.' She kissed him on his forehead before she left. 'Stay strong.'  
'And you, you better look after him, you hear!' She fiercely rounded on Rob.  
'Don't worry, Chas, I told you he's safe with me.'  
'He better be! He's been through hell lately.'  
'I know that.'  
'Leave it out, Mum! He's helped me a lot. Don't know how I would have got through it without him.'  
'I'll call you tomorrow.' She blew her son a kiss but as soon as she was out of the door and safely out of sight, she hid down a small alley and collapsed against the wall, sobbing. 

She couldn't move for a long time.  
Images of Gordon and their little boy kept plaguing her, that or Gordon still trying to do the same thing to an adult Aaron making her retch all her 5 star lunch onto the ground.  
When her phone rang and she saw it was Gordon, she rejected the call immediately with a look of loathing. She couldn't face the man yet, she didn't know what she was going to do or say.  
She really thought she was capable of killing him.  
Eventually, she was able to stop and went to the only place she felt she could go to.  
Not that she had lived there for years.  
Because for the first time in years, she wanted Cain.  
She wanted her elder brother.  
Cain would know what to do. He was tough... he would know how to deal with pieces of shit like Gordon.  
Funny how any feelings she had for Aaron's father had shrivelled into a hard little ball of rage, deep in her chest.  
Like she had never loved him or had a child with him.  
…..

Aaron looked up at Robert as he paced the floor.  
'Well, that went better than expected. Obviously she still hates my guts but seems to accept that we're together.'  
'What do you expect?' Aaron snapped. 'You'll have to earn her trust just like you'll have to earn Paddy's.'  
'What about yours?' Rob crouched down and gently took his face in his hands.  
'Do I have yours?'  
Aaron turned his head away and Rob let him go, not encouraged by his response or lack of it.  
'I think she's going to kill Gordon, she was so furious when she heard the video. When I told her what he used to do to me...'  
'At least you've convinced her now.'  
'Yeah.' He sighed but Rob didn't think he looked happy.  
'I'm dead proud of you.' He reached to kiss him on the lips but Aaron turned his head away.  
'Sorry.' Rob apologised for expecting too much.  
'I hated telling her. It broke her heart when she was so happy! I only told her on the phone because she pissed me off so much.'  
'She needed to know what kind of monster she was marrying. At least it's out in the open now.'  
''Spose.'  
'What are we going to do about Gordon? Are you going to go to the police with the video like we said before?'  
'I don't know. Need to talk to my mum first.'  
'What do you want for your tea?'  
'Nothing.'  
'Come on, babe. You've got to eat.'  
'I said I'm not hungry!' He snapped.  
'Fine.'  
But when Rob sat down next to him and switched on the TV, Aaron stretched out and without a word, manuoerved himself so that his head was resting in his lap.  
Rob smiled in pleasant surprise as he started to run his hands through his hair while they watched some dumb televised, singing competition.  
'This OK?' He felt like he had to ask.  
Aaron closed his eyes in relaxation. 'Yeah...' He murmured. 'Sorry I snapped at you before, you know it was just telling my mum. I do trust you, I do.'  
Rob grinned despite the circumstances. Anyway, Aaron seemed much calmer now that Chas was on his side and finally saw Gordon for what he really was.  
'Sh...I've got you.'  
'Rob...why don't you get us some beers from out of the fridge?' Aaron suggested after a while. 'I've finished my pills now so no danger.'  
'Got it.' He jumped up to get them. Rob found that he really didn't mind fetching and carrying for Aaron even if he was more or less recovered by now. He'd be happy to wait on him hand and foot everyday if it meant they were together.  
'Now I don't want to talk about Gordon for the rest of the night.' Aaron declared as soon as he walked back in the with the cold cans, sat up and took one.  
'Fine with me.' Rob agreed.

 

 

 

 

'


	16. Confrontation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Now that Chas knows, what is she going to do? Will she tell their friends and family?  
> Will the video be enough to convict Gordon if Rob can convince Aaron to use it?
> 
> Thanks for all the kudos and positive comments – if you like this story, please keep them coming. I'm walking on the air that you enjoy reading my story so much! Xxx

‘What's wrong? You seem stressed.’ Cain asked his sister before he peered closer at her face. ‘Have you been crying?’  
'Can I stay here for a couple of nights?'  
He looked surprised but nodded. 'Why? Trouble in Paradise?'  
Not exactly.' She turned her red, weepy eyes to him without answering. ‘I have just heard the worst thing in the world.’  
‘What?’  
She looked down and wrang her hands in despair, unable to answer straightaway.  
‘What is it?’  
'It's about Aaron.'  
'Don't tell me he's hurt himself again...' He sounded alarmed.  
'No, not that.'  
He stared at her and narrowed his eyes.  
‘Aaron told me why he hates his dad so much. Gordon abused him.’  
‘He hit him?'  
‘No.’ Chas gave a small twisted smile full of torment. ‘No. No, not that. Something far worse.’  
He turned away and looked out of the window into the distance, the green hills helped to calm his rage before he swallowed hard. 'What did he do to him?’, he asked hoarsely.  
‘The very worst thing a parent can do to a child. It's why he hurts himself.'  
'Oh...' But he didn't sound surprised. 'Because of his Dad.'  
She picked up on his reaction immediately. 'You knew?'  
'No. But I had an inkling because he started cutting himself after we all got him to stop when his father came back but I wasn't sure...I should have known it had to have been something like that to mess him up so much.'  
'And you didn't think to tell me?'  
'You were on holiday and he's your fiance. How could I?'  
'Was. Was my fiance. You should have told me!'  
'I wasn't sure! Not 100%. Besides, you were so besotted again with that bastard thinking that he walked on water that I didn't think you would care!'  
'How dare you! As if I would ever care more about a man than my own son!'  
'Well, you acted like you did! Paddy tried to phone you when he was in hospital but you never answered!'  
'That's because Gordon deleted all my messages!'  
He hid his surprise. 'Your emails too?' He bit back sarcastically.  
'We didn't have a computer with us when we were in the hotel!'  
'Of course not when you probably never even left your room!'  
Her eyes flashed with fury and she slapped him. Hard.

He grabbed her wrists and shook her in return. 'It's not me you should be attacking. It's that sick piece of shit who hurt him when he was a kid.'  
She sighed and shook him off her as she sank down into a chair. 'It's all my fault. I should never have left him with them, Sandra didn't really care for him – I could see that but he insisted on living with them rather than me. I was so selfish...only thinking about what I wanted to do, what I needed...'  
'It weren't your fault.' Her brother reached around to put a steaming mug of tea in front of her and she looked up at him gratefully as she nursed it between her hands. Her whole body, both outside and inside felt chilled to ice. 

'But it was...I should have picked up on the signs that something was wrong...'  
'Aaron was hiding it deliberately. You weren't the only one who didn't realise what was going on.'  
'But I was his mother! If anyone should have realised, it should have been me! No wonder he was so angry with me when he came to live here.'  
'Stop being so hard on yourself. Gordon is very convincing and you left Aaron with his father. A boy should be safe with his father.'

She sighed and still didn't look convinced but let it go. 'You know he tried to do it to him again?'  
'WHAT?'  
'Yeah, that's right. Went round there and got him on his own when he was too weak and ill to put up much of a fight.'  
Cain drew in a long breath. 'The fucking coward. Did he..?'  
'No, thank-God. Rob came in at just the right moment and got it all on his phone.'  
'What was that other scumbag doing round there? If he's touched him, I'll... Is Aaron OK now?'  
'He's doing better.' She paused. 'Wait a minute – haven't you heard? Rob's left Chrissie to be Aaron.'

'No, I hadn't , actually. You mean Aaron's back together with that evil, lying, cheating toe-rag? After everything he did? Wait until I get my hands on him...' He clenched his fists because anger was so much easier to deal with than think about what his nephew went through and deal with Aaron's pain.  
'No, it's not like that. Rob swears he's changed and I have to admit, if he hadn't got it out of Aaron, we'd be none the wiser.'  
'You believe him? I don't trust him with him.'

'I don't like it either but Aaron needs him. And...and I think he's actually good for him - so far, anyway.  
He snorted and changed the subject from Rob. 'Don't worry, I'll fix Gordon.' He spat out the name with hatred.  
She grabbed his arm in alarm. 'Cain...you're not going to do anything stupid, are you?'  
'Like what?'  
'Kill Gordon?'  
He laughed mirthlessly. 'I haven't thought how yet but that's a good idea...'  
'I'm serious, Cain!' She slapped his arm. 'Rob's going to try and persuade Aaron to go to the police with the video.  
'Don't worry.' He pulled away. 'I think I can hold myself back from him, for now anyway. Wait a minute – they've got Gordon on video?'  
'Yes, didn't you hear me tell you?'  
'You mean Rob just stood there and recorded Gordon attacking him?' His voice rose in anger. 'Pretty sick even for him, ain't it?'  
'I thought so too. But Aaron wanted him to – you know gather evidence.'  
'That the reason? I still don't trust that lad. He's bad news for Aaron and the rest of us.'  
...  
Just then her phone rang.  
Cain turned to look.  
'Yep. I'll meet you at your B&B.' She was speaking in a cold, tight voice.  
Pause.  
'Yes, I'm OK.' She lied. I'll tell you when I get there.'  
She disconnected the call.  
'Was that him?'  
'Yes.'  
'Do you want me with you?'  
'Thanks but you're OK. I'm a big girl now, can fight my own battles.'  
'Perhaps it's better I don't. Might not be able to stop myself from cutting off his crown-jewels.'  
She grimaced at that but she understood what he was feeling. 'I better go and get this over with. Might have trouble not doing the same myself.'  
'Call me if he gets nasty.'  
'I told you I can handle him.'  
'Hope so.' Her brother replied grimly. 'I really do.' He sighed.

…...

Chas took a deep breath before she went into the B&B and knocked on Gordon's door.  
He answered it with a smile, hidng his worry that their wimpy son squealed to her and she believed him.  
She brushed past, barely looking at him. 

'Hi ya, love.' He greeted her pleasantly.  
'Don't you 'love' me!' She snapped back, kicking the door shut behind her.  
'What?'  
'I know what you did to him!' She hissed at his shocked expression.  
'Did what to who?' He shook his head in apparent bemusement. 'If Aaron's got confused again...'  
'He's not confused!'  
'Well, at least tell me what he said I am supposed to have done. I already admitted that I may have gone too far with hitting him a few times when he really wound me up....'

'He said that you raped him when he lived with you and that you made him do things. Disgusting things.'  
'What?' He sounded incredulous. 'Is he saying that I...that I..?'  
'How could you? He was 8! 8!'  
'I told already about his football coach, must have got me confused with him. He came back from school one day really upset. He said that...'  
'Stop lying!' 

'I'm not. You know he's unstable, he self-harms for God's sake. You told me that he's tried to kill himself more times than I can count!'  
'Because of you! Because of what you did to him!'  
'No! I was strict with him because I had to be! I know I punished him...'  
'Did that include rape?'  
He winced despite himself. 'No! Definitely not! I couldn't do that! Most of the time I didn't even hit him. Just took his pocket-money away, grounded him, normal stuff like that.'

'And told him that he was born-bad and that you couldn't love him.'  
'He was violent and uncontrollable! Always getting into fights and stealing money from the other kids. He played truant, smoked and drank. He even set a neighbour's car on fire and I had to pay for it. Do you know how difficult it was for me to be a single father of a lad like him?'  
'Lots of people are single-parents of difficult children but it still doesn't give them the right to do what you did!'  
'We couldn't cope with him! No matter what we said or did, his behaviour just kept getting worse.'  
'I wonder why!' She retorted with deep sarcasm.  
'He made me do it! Nothing else I threatened him with worked!'  
'Oh, you finally admit it. You're sick, do you know that?'  
'What else did you expect me to do?'  
'I expected you not to hurt him!'

He fell silent as she advanced on him. 'I know that you deleted Paddy's messages on my phone so I didn't know that he was in hospital.'  
'I didn't want to worry you and spoil our time together.'  
'Worry me? He could have died thinking I didn't care about him! Then you took his phone from him. How could I have believed that it just ended up in your pocket during your 'fight'? You said that he he hit you but I know that he was too weak to even walk up the stairs on his own. Rob did but only to defend him from you and you even tried to blame that on him!'  
'Well, I can't help it if he's just a little slut like his mother. Always begging for it.'

She ignored the nasty jibe although she was taken aback despite herself despite hearing him say similar things on Rob's phone. Even Gordon couldn't wriggle his way out of that one and was left speechless at being caught out at his own lies and losing control of his temper.  
'He was too small and too scared when you hurt him but I'm not!' She pulled back her fist and punched him in the face!  
'Well, shall I take it that the wedding's off?' He joked pathetically, rubbing his bruised jaw.

'We've got evidence. When you went over there yesterday, Rob filmed you on his phone.'  
'The little...' His perplexed, benelovent facade vanished to be replaced with the look that had so scared his son when he was small that she had never seen. Despite herself, she was backing back up against the wall.

'Where is it? Or you recording us right now, you fucking treacherous bitch?' He roughly grabbed her and started to frantically go through her pockets, even under her clothes until she shoved him off.  
'Oh, the mask is finally off! Not such a 'nice' bloke now, are you?' She hoped her contemptuous tone betrayed less of the fear that she actually felt.  
He stared at her like he didn't know her.  
'Did you really think I would be so stupid? Besides, I don't need to. Not when the police see you attacking him and you were so cocky that you even admit that you molested him on there!'  
He glared lightning bolts at her when it finally dawned on him that he had been exposed and with it, had lost everything. He held her by the throat against the wall and drew back his fist...

TO BE CONTINUED....


	17. Eliminination

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh, no – will Gordon really hit Chas? But he's at the end of his tether so it's possible – after all, he's lost everything and he knows it. 
> 
> How will the rest of the family react to Aaron's revelation? Cain is capable of murder if he feels his loved ones are under threat. In any case, there's more trouble to come, that's for sure.
> 
> If you like this story, please leave a comment. It will make the author very happy! Thanks and enjoy reading x

Gordon drew back his fist.  
Chas squared up to him with a contemptuous sneer on her lip. 'What? You going to hit me now, you fucking coward? You already raped your own child - so why not add hitting women to your bucketlist?'  
That got him. His eyes took on a hunted look and he lowered his arm slowly.  
'Get out.' His voice was cold and hard with suppressed rage. 'You'll never win.'  
She turned her back on him and opened the door and stood half-in, half-out of the corridor. 'Oh, you sure about that? When everyone finds out what you are and what you did to him, Aaron will have the whole village behind him.'  
He sneered. 'The whole village? Really? Now I'm scared.'  
'I would be. There's many here who take a dim view of rape and incest. They're likely to lynch you on the spot.'  
'He'll never go to the police. He's just a scared little boy who doesn't have the guts to make it official.'  
'You want to bet on that? He told his boyfriend and he managed to tell me in the end even though it was one of the hardest things he's said he ever had to do. And we've got the video, remember.'  
He stood there aghast, for once in his life unable to reply with a clever comeback.  
She turned away and called over her shoulder as she strutted off, high-heels clucking without one look back, 'Goodbye, Gordon. See you in court.'  
He slammed the door behind her without another word before he slid down it and wrapped his arms around his knees and closed his eyes and let the tears come.  
Ruined. His life was over, he thought bitterly to himself, wishing for the first time that the cancer had claimed him. Why did he come back here? He should have known that it would stir memories. It had been stupid of him to expect Aaron to somehow forget what he did but it had only been a punishment taken a little out of control and once he started, he simply couldn't stop.  
It had had nothing to do with desire – Gordon wasn't gay. He wasn't a paedophile. It had everything to do with domination.  
Because only Aaron could be as stubborn and as unyielding as he was and Gordon had already sworn an oath to himself that he wasn't going to be like his own father, whom he hated who used to beat him brutally.  
Aaron just being Aaron was enough to get his father's back up and want to destroy his childish spirit that insisted on defying his father.  
So, even as he saw himself looking back at him with his son's eyes, he'd done something else. Decided on a different path.

If he only knew how similar he looked to his son who had done the same thing only hours before.  
….  
Chas hurried back home in the dark and Cain leapt up in concern as soon as he saw her. She was unharmed apparently but shaking.  
'Get me a drink.' She ordered him as she sank down into a chair.  
He started to put the kettle on.  
'No – not that!' She snapped. 'A real one. Whisky.'  
'Uh huh.'  
He glanced at her pale face as she sat there looking at the wall without really seeing it.  
'Here.' He put the glass without ice in front of her and she sipped gratefully. She always took the strong stuff neat.  
'Did he touch you?'  
'No, but I thought he was going to hit me at one point...'  
'The fucking scumbag...I knew I should have...' Cain roared and had already grabbed his coat and was halfway out of the door but she grabbed his sleeve.  
'No. Don't! It'll make things worse.'  
He closed the door with a sigh. 'I don't want you going round there ever again.' He put his foot down.  
'No chance of that. I just had to tell him what I thought of him and that we were onto him.'  
'Here. Have another.' He took away her glass and came back with two full measures of the fiery liquor. 'Reckon you'll need that.'  
She nodded and sighed. 'I just wish I could turn back the time. I should have known...but he idolised his dad!'  
'You couldn't know.' Her brother did his best to console her but it wasn't enough.  
It would never be enough.

Neither of them slept much that night. Chas tossed and turned restlessly while Cain was tortured by his mind that persisted in imagining what his nephew must have gone through with his father. No matter how much he bid them away, the sick images wouldn't leave him, leading to a couple of hours of uneasy sleep.  
Both of them got up early – about 7 and looked at each other blearily.  
'You OK?' He asked her.  
'You joking, right?' She snapped. 'How can I ever be after what I just found out?'  
'Getting upset won't help...' Not the most touch-feely of people, nevertheless he reached round to take her by the shoulders but she shook him off irritably.  
'Don't.'  
'Didn't sleep either?' He asked.  
She gave a wan smile and shook her head. 'Sorry. I don't mean to take it out on you.'  
'What else are big brothers for, eh?'  
He was rewarded with a tiny smile that didn't reach her eyes.

It was 8am when the phone rang when they'd already had their cereal and cups of coffee. They ate and drank with little enjoyment in tense silence as though it was a chore that had to be got through.  
'That you, Aaron? How you feelin'?'  
'Better. We've decided to do it. I'm going to the police tomorrow to show them the video and tell them what he did to me.'  
'Really? Oh good...' For the first time since she he found out, her heart grew a little lighter in her chest and she wasn't completely faking the deliberate brightness in her voice that she always put on for him.  
'But Rob's got to go to work in town tomorrow, so do you think you could come with me?'  
'Of course, darling. What time?'  
He told her. 'But can I come over and go through my statement with you?'  
'Do you want to come over now?' She glanced briefly at Cain.  
'Is that OK?'  
'Of course, baby.'  
'See you in 20.'  
'See you.'  
He put the phone down and she looked up at her brother as she replaced the receiver.  
'Aaron's coming round soon to go through what he's going to say to the police.'  
'I better be off then.' He turned to leave.  
'Why?'  
'Does he know that you've told me?'  
'No. Is that a problem?'  
He shifted uncomfortably. 'I'm not sure that he wants me to know.'  
'Well, he knows that everybody's going to find out eventually and your family. Let's have a cup of coffee before he gets here.'  
Cain sighed. 'OK. But I'll make it, shall I?'  
He could think of nothing else to do or say to make things better.  
He never could.  
'Please.' She sank down into her seat gratefully. She didn't want to admit it to him but she was still feeling shaken-up after her confrontation with her son's father.  
Aaron came round earlier than expected when Cain would have preferred to make himself scarce.  
His uncle nodded at him.  
'Does he know?' Aaron demanded of his mother.  
'I had to tell him. Don't worry, he won't tell anyone.'  
'I'm sorry.' Cain said but his eyes didn't meet his nephew's and was still wondering if he should hug Aaron when the latter drew back and squinted at him suspiciously, not sure whether he meant it.  
Chas noticed the difficult exchange. 'Can you make him a cup of tea, please?' She asked her brother.  
'Or do you want coffee?'  
Aaron sighed. 'Coffee, please. Milk no sugar.'  
'Fine.' Cain sighed but planning to get out of there as soon as he could afterwards.  
She turned to her son and led him into the living-room where they sat down together on the sofa. 'Now, let's go through your statement. Show me what you've got.'  
Aaron started to read through it while his mother listened with her arm around him. Even though it was extremely painful for her to listen to all the details of Gordon's sexual abuse of their son – emotional as well as psychological, she kept control of the emotions.  
Her brother's exterior was typically expressionless even though he was equally sickened and fuming inside.  
'….since I was 8 years old until I was 13. He always told me that I was born bad and that he couldn't love me, didn't want me.' Aaron read out the beginning of his notes.  
Cain paused in making his cup of tea to clench his fists in rage unseen under the kitchen counter as Aaron somehow continued with his story without breaking down, not once.  
'Was he always like that? I mean you decided that you wanted to live with him, not your mother.' Chas took on the role of the police.  
'Because when I wasn't living with him, he was the best dad ever! But after I moved in with him, when the arguments between him and Sandra got really bad, he changed.'  
Chas turned away, the guilt nearly tearing her apart until she forced it away.  
'Are there any incidents that stick out in your memory? Particularly bad or unusual?'  
'The worst time was when he lost his job. He was really brutal – even rougher than normal...' He hesitated, wondering if he'd gone into too much detail for his mother but she remained stoic.  
'I'm sorry.' He looked up at her apologetically.  
'Don't be. I've got to get used to it – it's all going to come out in court anyway.' She smiled more brightly than she felt.  
'How old were you then?'  
'11.' He said in a small voice and closed his eyes and took a deep breath.  
She paused and swallowed hard, forcing herself to go on, to hear.  
'What did he do?'  
'I hid in a cupboard but he was so angry when he found me that he tore the hinges off. Then he made me take my clothes...'  
'I've got to go out.' The local hardman abruptly interrupted his nephew's rehearsal as he brought him his mug of steaming coffee and placed it in front of him on the table. 'Business.'  
Aaron gave him a funny look while Chas stared at him. If looks could kill...  
'Oh, I'm sorry if what I've got to say makes you uncomfortable.' Aaron snapped at him while Chas glared at him with identical blue eyes full of anger.

'I'll see you later.' Cain replied as he went to put on his coat, hearing his sister saying to his nephew, 'Don't worry about him. It's the shock of it all...He's actually really upset...'  
'Yeah, looks like it.' Aaron's bitter reply was the last thing he heard before their voices faded into the distance after he closed the door behind him.  
….  
Cain went to the place he usually went when he needed peace and quiet, to get away from it all - the small stone bridge over the stream and stared down into the running water near their house. Some chunks of ice towards the banks had failed to completely melt during the day but some ducks were quacking happily. He watched a couple engaging in an early courtship dance and the ball of lead in his chest lightened slightly. In any case, being outside in nature always helped to calm him down.

But not this time.  
Aaron thought he didn't care, Aaron thought he couldn't look him in the eye because he was ashamed of him. But that was far from the truth and tragically, Cain didn't know how to convince him otherwise.  
But there was one way that he could show him how much he cared...  
Most people around him saw Cain as hard, cold and calculating with a heart of ice. But if that was true, why did it feel like that there was a ball of lead chest had turned molten now and was burning him? Making each breath so hot and painful that he was struggling to find each one?  
He gripped the stones so hard that his hands went whte before he reached his decision, tearing himself away, he made his way to his destination, he would pick up what he needed on the way as an impromptu plan was forming in his mind....  
…..  
Meanwhile engrossed in the task at hand, Aaron and his mother did not stop to consider where Cain was actually going, assuming that he had told the truth. Neither of them guessed the wrath seething beneath that stony front Cain always offered to the world.  
Aaron stopped and started a few times, rereading and trying to make his story sound as objective and emotion-free as possible because Chas said that would be more likely to convince them. On her advice, he deleted some parts and expanded on others.

Eventually he finished but without telling her nearly the half of the things Gordon did to him and said to him. He didn't want to hurt her anymore than he had to.  
'That's it, Mum.' He lied because there were some things you can't tell your mother but he planned to tell the cops. Hopefully, he would get a male officer – maybe he would understand. He hoped that he wouldn't have to say everything in court in front of everybody. In fact, he was surprised that he'd gone in so much detail with her as he did.

She wiped her eyes. 'You did good, son. They'll believe you – anyone can see that you're telling the truth.'  
He buried his face in his hands and broke down but this time with relief.  
She shushed him. 'Come here, baby.' She pulled him closer and he leant his face over her shoulder gratefully.  
'Mum...Do you really think they'll take me seriously? My criminal record...'  
'Sh...That's got nothing to do with it. If they've got any sense, they will. Especially when you show them the video – where he attacked you only a couple of days ago'.  
….  
Cain walked into the B&B – he knew it was one of those without a real reception. He didn't want any witnesses.  
When he got to Gordon's door (Chas had let slip the number once) he listened for a few minutes before he realised that he was out. Afterwards, he skilfully picked the lock and let himself in, closing it neatly behind him. He didn't see the photo behind him at first.  
Cain was focused on planning to give the bastard the shock of his life when he came back.  
He hoped that he wouldn't have to wait too long.  
….  
When Gordon returned after fetching some basic necessities from the village shop and turned the key in his lock, he had a feeling that something was wrong. His intuition was confirmed when he saw the word spelt out in his own shaving foam on the bathroom mirror opposite the door.  
P...A...E...O...D...O...P...H...I...L...E. in his own shaving cream.  
He turned around but didn't even see his intruder before he fell the floor with a loud groan and blacked out.

Cain smiled down at him gently, still holding the clay bookend in the shape of a dog. He didn't know it but Aaron had given it to his father after he made it in school about 2 years before the photo was taken.  
Luckily, it hadn't broken.  
Then Cain spotted the photo of Aaron, looking all of 8 years old in his school uniform. His smile disappeared when his mind thrust images on him of the unconscious and bleeding man on the floor on top of the same boy, his blood, his kin, taunting him cruelly while he violated him to break his spirit further. Just like his tortured mind had shown him the night before and he knew that was how Aaron's father had taken him.  
To keep him cowed, keep him silent.

Cain spat on Gordon before he went to the curtain which was handily tied-back with a cord. He used it to restrain him to a chair. The he used its twin to tie his hands behind his back before finally sitting down quietly on the floor and waited.  
Cain lost track of time, just sat there lost in his own thoughts.  
But did it really matter?  
…  
Gordon woke up groaning. He struggled, trying to touch the side of his skull where the pain was coming from then realised that he couldn't move his arms.  
'Wha...what?' He moaned groggily.  
'Hello, Gordon.' Cain grinned at him cheerfully. The smile of an old friend surprised to bump into you on the street after a long time apart.  
'Cain? What are you doing here?'  
'I know what you did to Aaron.' The Dingle, like other male members of his clan, didn't mince his words.  
'Not this again.' Gordon rolled his eyes and sighed theatrically. 'What did he tell you? I abused him? Yeah, that it?'  
'You raped him, you piece of shit!' Cain finally let his anger show as he drew back his fist and split his lip. 'And you tried it again just the other day!'  
'How could I have done? He's a 20 year-old big, strong lad! Not exactly the shy and retiring type...'  
'He was ill, recovering from an infection that nearly killed him, not that you care. But he was just a kid the first time.'  
'Wait a minute – if that were true, where were you and Chas when I supposedly did this terrible thing to him? Didn't anyone notice? Didn't he show signs?' Gordon challenged him with blood dripping from his mouth. Somehow it seemed obscene.  
Cain bristled and glared at him, momentarily unable to speak.  
'Where were you when this poor, vulnerable nephew of yours needed you so much? Where was his mother?...Oh, right...he was with me because she gave him away!'  
Cain's face contorted with rage as he punched him again, this time in his stomach!  
'You know what you are and you dare to lecture ME!'

Gordon laughed even as he bent over and groaned in pain. 'No, seriously, what were you doing all those years ago when he needed you? Too busy nicking cars, too busy killing people who got in your way, too busy getting blathered down the pub or drugged up...'  
'Shut your filthy mouth!' Cain hit him again, this time as hard as he could. Because fuck, his words stung.

Because they were all true.  
'You never cared about him until now, did you? Admit it! Truth hurts, doesn't it?'  
'I said 'Shut up!'', ' Cain hissed. The man was getting to him, making him lose his cool.  
With a wrench, he forced himself to calm so that he could get the job done.  
'Sorry I hit you in the stomach. Might make what we have to do harder.' He said with a mocking smirk that let the other man know he wasn't sorry. Far from it, in fact.  
Now Gordon looked genuinely afraid for the first time. 'What...?'

'Oh, you didn't think I was going to let you live, did you? Things like you don't deserve to breathe the same air as the rest of us, especially not a good lad like Aaron.'  
Cain got the bottle of pills that he'd bought in the pharmacy on his way and shook them in his face.  
'Please...' Gordon begged, finally showing the coward he was. 'You don't have to do this. I'll admit I did it! In court, yeah?'  
'Too late. Chas told me that you tried to take advantage of him again just yesterday when he was ill. You're still as sick as you ever were and I want to make sure he's safe from you.'  
'I'll tell them I did that too if you just stop this right now. And I promise I'll stay away from him for good.'

Cain ignored him and got out the bottle of vodka and after taking a few long swigs of it himself, he forced Gordon to drink.  
Gordon spluttered and shook his head.  
'Come on, I'm making this easy on you. It's better than you deserve. Do you know what they do to things like you in prison? Especially the ones who do it to their own kids...'  
Cain grabbed the bottle of sleeping pills next and forced him to swallow some, pinching his nose shut so that he couldn't breathe.

Next he shoved the bottle of whiskey against his mouth and pinched his nose again.  
Gordon fell back, gasping, choking and looking pale.  
Cain sat back a while to regard him with little emotion.  
Almost as if he sees me as already dead, Gordon thought chillingly to himself.  
'You know, back in the day, I used to think you were an OK bloke. Not good enough for our Chas of course, but decent-like.'

Gordon said nothing, apparently already resigned to his fate.  
After the third time Cain shoved the pills down him along with nearly the rest of the litre bottle, he could see Gordon was failing right along with the fading amount of resistance he put up. His eyes were closing and shutting and he was slurring as he spoke. 

'Please look after him. And...and tell I'm sorry and that I do love him. Always did.'  
Cain stopped with the nearly empty pill bottle in mid-air, impressed by his parting words despite the hatred and loathing he felt for the man. In the end, even the lowest of the low like Gordon was thinking of his son, his victim.

The Dingle nodded, 'I'll tell him', he promised quietly before he moved to finish it. 'And I'll take care of him like he's my own... I'll see to it that he'll go for nowt.'  
Gordon closed his eyes. 'Thank-you', he breathed gratefully and prepared to surrender to the all-engulfing darkness threatening the edges of his vision.


	18. Rescue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will Cain succeed killing Gordon? Part of me hopes so but then again, even killing him won't take Aaron's pain away.   
> Aaron needs to face him and get some justice in court. Still, you can understand why Cain did it.
> 
> Please leave a comment if you like this story x Thanks x Kudos is also good

After reading through and making a few changes to his statement, Aaron announced, 'I think I'm ready now.'   
'Well done', his mother rubbed his back and beamed. 'I knew you could do it.'  
A moment of comfortable silence passed between them but then a frown suddenly came over her son's face as if he just remembered something important and he leapt up. 'Oh no...Where did Cain go?'

'Why? He told us, he had some business to attend to...'  
'Do you believe him?' He slapped his forehead. 'Damn! How could I be so blind...It was this -this...!' He grabbed up the papers they'd been working on and threw them back down in frustration.

'What you saying, love?'  
'Cain went after Gordon. We have to go and find him, NOW!'  
He rushed outside and started practically running towards his father's B&B.  
'Aaron!' Chas called after him. 'You don't know that...Cain wouldn't....'  
But he was already running down the path.  
'Wait!' She grabbed her coat and ran after him. 'Don't go alone!'  
He waited for her a second before he started rushing off.  
…..

'Cain! What are you doing!' Aaron yelled when he burst into the room and saw his father trussed to a chair, head nodding, looking ready to pass out. Cain cursed himself because in his rage, he hadn't made sure that the door was really closed. Now he'd been disturbed while Chas immediately rushed to Gordon's side to untie him. She examined him closely, patted his cheeks and pulled up his eye-lids to look at his pupils.

Cain whirled round and grinned at him. 'I got you an early birthday present, that's what. Thought you'd be pleased, son.' At his nephew's look of confusion, (Aaron's 21st was coming up in a couple of days but it had been the last thing on their minds, Aaron's most of all) he explained jovially, 'No more dad.'  
'What?' Aaron's face fell in confusion and his voice rose in disbelief. 'You tried to kill him?'  
'Cain, what did you give him?' Chas broke into their conversation, typically getting straight down to business.  
'Only some booze and sleeping pills. Too easy for the bastard, if you ask me.' He answered coldly.  
Aaron picked up the drained bottle of vodka and the nearly equally empty bottle of pills. 'Mum!' He looked over at her. 'They're all gone!'  
'Wake up!' Chas glanced over and patted Gordon's cheeks hard. He came to groaning.  
'Why are you helping him after what he did to you?' Cain suddeny bellowed at his nephew. 'Let him die!'   
'He won't because he's a good boy.' Gordon mumbled.  
'Doesn't take after you then', Chas hissed at him.  
'Help me get him in the bathroom.' She ignored her brother, knowing Cain would do nothing. He didn't disappoint.

So it was left to her and Aaron to get him to hold his head over the toilet bowl while she stuck her fingers down his throat and forced him to vomit. Gordon seemed reluctant at first and fought against them. But he was weak and there were two of them. 'No...' He protested. 'Let me go!'  
The two of them exchanged glances over his head.  
'Oh, I'm not giving you an easy way out, not like my uncle.' Aaron told him. 'Cain's right, suicide is too good for the likes of you.'  
Gordon managed to joke weakly. 'And I thought you cared.'  
'I don't. I just want to see you answer for your crimes, Gordon.'  
His father said nothing but closed his eyes in apparent exhaustion.  
Meanwhile, back in the bedroom, Cain sat down on the chair as he waited for them to save Gordon's life. Fortunately, he found a smallbottle of whiskey in the cupboard and swigged from it as he listened to everything going on. 

'I think we got here in time.' Chas breathed a sigh of relief as her ex-husband brought up dozens of whole white pills along with the booze. She looked uncomfortable as he clung to her as if he made her skin crawl. They kept going until they were sure that it was just bile coming up in the end. Then Aaron flushed the toilet with a look of distaste and got away from his father as soon as he could. So did his mother. Job done, he didn't need to speak or look at him and they left him sitting dazed looking on the bathroom floor. Aaron had half-expected Gordon to try and intimidate him or ask him about the video but he was in no fighting state.

'What the hell you still doing here?' Chas screamed when she saw Cain still sitting there in th bedroom after they were finished with Gordon.  
He shrugged, and pocketed the rest of Gordon's stash of booze.  
Although there were lots of things unsaid between them and their emotions were high, they walked back to their cottage in silence, trying not to draw attention to themselves.

***

'You're a bloody idiot!' Chas whirled round on her big brother as soon as the backdoor was safely shut behind him.  
'Yeah, why did you do that, Cain?' Aaron attacked him from the other side. 'You think you going to prison for him is going to help me?'  
'You know he's got something on us now?' Chas continued to badger him. 'What if he goes to the police and tells them that you tried to force him to commit suicide?'  
'We'll just deny it.'  
'And what if they don't believe us?' Chas retorted. 'What then? What about the case?...Oh, no, let me guess. You didn't even think about the consequences of trying to murder Gordon for him, (she pointed at her son) did you?'  
'Actually, he was all I was thinking about when I was getting rid of his scumbag father for him. You don't know what you're talking about!' He shook her off.  
'Cain!'  
'I've had enough of this. I'm going down to the Woolpack. Don't 'spose you want to come with me?' He asked his nephew with a smirk.  
Aaron just glared at him. 'No, you're alright. I've got more important things to do.'  
Cain was disappointed. 'Didn't think so.' He slammed the door behind him for the second time that day.  
…  
Chas made them a cup of tea.   
'I can't believe he did that. I mean – he wasn't just trying to scare him into keeping away from you, he was actually going to kill him!'  
'Then why did you tell him? You know what he's like...What if Gordon talks?'  
'He won't.'  
'How do you know?' He worried.  
'Let's cross that bridge when we come to it. Do you still want to do it today?'  
It took him a couple of seconds to remember after all the drama of the day what she was talking about before he nodded.  
'Let's go after this then, shall we?' She suggested before taking a another sip.  
'Yeah.' He didn't sound too thrilled at the prospect. 'Let's get it over with.'  
….

Aaron sat in tense silence as they drove into town to the police-station. He clutched his statement nervously in one hand against his chest as they drove along and Chas couldn't help thinking how much it resembled a shield.

'Now, remember what we said. Just stick to the facts. They're much more convincing.' She squeezed his hand after they had parked down a side street close to the station.   
'But what if Gordon's right and they don't believe me? I left it so long...'  
'Don't think about him. You got Rob's phone, haven't you?'  
He nodded and felt in his pocket to be sure.   
'Well, then. How can they not believe a video?'   
He still didn't look convinced though and her heart ached for him as she watched him take a deep breath, clearly trying to get his emotions under control. He knew he needed to remain calm to be credible.  
Chas watched her son for a minute before she opened the car door on her side.   
'Come on.'  
She hugged his shoulders briefly outside the revolving door of the tall building.  
He took another deep breath before they walked in together.  
Just then Rob rang from his office. 'How did it go?'  
'Haven't done it yet...there were complications....(Chas looked at him sharply and it annoyed him that she thought he would be stupid enough to talk about what Cain had just done there of all places) I mean something came up. Tell you all about it later.'  
'Well, good luck then. Tell them everything and nail the bastard. You're Mum there with you?'  
'Yeah.'  
'Good. See you later, OK? Maybe we can go out for a drink or something afterwards.'  
'Maybe...' But he didn't sound so sure.  
'Laters.'  
'Laters.'

…..  
Aaron waited nervously in the waiting room while Chas thumbed through a selection of magazines, seemingly unable to concentrate enough on one article before jumping to another.

When they came to get him, she smiled encouragingly.  
'I just want it to be over.' He sighed before he was led away.  
Chas' eyes followed him anxiously, wondering how someone could be so strong yet look so fragile at the same time.That cockiness bordering on arrogance and had all but disappeared since his father returned. It was true that Aaron had driven her to distraction when he was younger but now she would have done anything to have that the old obnoxious, uncontrollable Aaron back.   
She stared at the opposite wall, trying her best to shut out all the other people also waiting and the noise of activity - cops talking and phones ringing.  
….

'Take a seat, please. I'm Sargeant Harding. It was a middle-aged cop about the same age as his father, tall with grey hair and blue eyes. But he'll believe me because he has kind eyes, Aaron thought to himself. Nothing like Gordon.   
Harding motioned towards the video recorder. 'Is it OK if we turn this on?'  
Aaron nodded.  
'Please state your name, date of birth and address for the video.'  
Aaron did.  
'I understand that you want to report a crime?'

Aaron took a couple of deep breaths before he answered, confidently. After all, he'd practised the line enough times at home with his mother. She'd insisted on getting it right even though he could see how much it hurt her to hear him say it.  
Aaron took a couple of deep breaths and got it all out smoothly. 'I'm here because when I was younger I was repeatedly raped by my father.'  
The older man's attitude completely changed as he straightened up. He does believe me, Aaron thought with relief.  
'I'm so sorry to hear that. Can you go into more detail? Age, time and place of the incidents.  
Aaron grimaced. 'He abused me from the age of 8 until 13 at home. He only tried to do it to me the other day!'  
'He tried to ...assault you again?' Now the cop was looking shocked and slightly bewildered. 'When?'  
Aaron told him the date. 'I had just come out of hospital and was very weak from an infection that nearly killed me,' He hurriedly explained. 'He was taunting me about what he used to do to me. Threatening me. I've got it on phone.'  
'We'll come back to the most recent incident later. I'd like to talk about happened to you when you were a child, if...if that's OK. I may have to ask you some very difficult, personal questions.  
The young man shrugged. 'Fine. Do what you've got to do.'

'How did the alleged abuse start?'  
'Alleged?' Aaron was outraged.  
'It's just legalspeak we're obliged to use, that's all. Don't worry about it.'  
Aaron still didn't look happy.  
'Can you tell me from the beginning?' He brought him back to the question.   
'It was fine at first – see I chose him over my mother, Chas...I wanted to live with my father, Gordon. I guess that looks bad for my case.'  
'Don't think about that now. Tell me about how it started.'  
'He was like a normal dad at first. Took me to play footie in the park, there was pizza and movies, swimming and we went to see football matches. The best dad ever but then the arguments started...'  
'Sorry, arguments?'  
'Between him and Sandra, my stepmum.'  
'Go on.'  
'Dad didn't like his job and they had some money problems. And everytime he got angry about something or they had a fight, he would 'take it out on me'.  
'How did he 'take it out on you'? Did it involve physical abuse?'  
'No, never. He told me his dad used to beat him up really badly so he wasn't going to make the same mistake with me. No - ... just raped me or forced me to do stuff to him instead.' He added with bitter sarcasm.  
Harding paused. 'Forgive me but I need to ask. When you say 'rape' do you mean he fully penetrated you?'  
Aaron closed his eyes and took another deep breath. 'Yes.'  
'And you said he forced you do to stuff? This may sound like a stupid question but we need to be clear for the sake of the video. What kind of things?'  
Aaron went red despite himself and turned away. 'You know - sex stuff. Handjobs ...blowjobs...Once he shoved his tongue in my mouth and kissed me! It was disgusting.'  
'I can imagine.' The policeman said dryly, sickened despite all his years of listening to similar stories. They never got any easier to listen to.  
'He told me I was born bad, would never be any good. He said I was the reason him and Sandra were having problems. He used to threaten me with rape if I misbehaved but then he'd do it to me anyway even when I didn't. It didn't make any difference what I did.'  
Of course it didn't, Harding thought to himself. The bastard wouldn't be the first abuser who blamed his victim for the abuse. 'How often did it happen?'  
Aaron answered then told him things he never told anyone, not even his boyfriend and his voice grew low.  
'Once when he was really angry because customers at work had made complaints about him and he had to go and see the boss, he tied me up and gagged me.'  
Harding was shocked despite himself but he tried not to let it show.  
'But that was only once.'  
Only once? Harding thought. My God..what this young man's been through...  
'And when he lost his job....' Aaron's voice grew shaky and the tears won.  
'Do you need a break? We can get you a hot drink from the machine if you like …'  
'No, I want to carry on.' Aaron shook his head and wiped his eyes determinedly. He just wanted it done and to go home and be with his mum and boyfriend.  
So he sat up straight resolutely. 'When he lost his job...' he repeated with a stronger voice this time, 'he was so brutal, I thought he was going to tear me apart.'  
He noticed the other's horrified expression. 'He wasn't usually so rough.' He explained awkwardly.   
'I'm sorry to ask but it's going to come up - why have you only now decided to bring these charges forward?'  
He sighed. 'I know it sounds strange but I didn't see him for years – I sort of tried to block it out, I guess. Pretend it never happened.'  
'That's quite common in these types of cases but what changed?'  
'He came back here and got back with my mother – Chas. I was just going to leave and not say anything – I didn't want to spoil things for her. But then he took her key and broke into my place and tried to do it to me again, I knew then he'd never leave me alone, not when they were getting married and he was buying the local pub. Never. He was never going to stop making my life a misery, or coming between me and my mum. Besides, my business is here.'  
'Any witnesses to this latest assualt?'  
'Yeah, my partner Rob. He came back and found us and he videoed it. Here, it's on his phone.' Aaron pushed it over to him but the policeman didn't pick it up.  
'Rob just sat there, recording the assault on his phone and didn't try to help?'  
'I know it sounds weird. But he really didn't want to...He can't stand seeing me being hurt but he knew that I wanted to get evidence.'  
'I have to ask something very personal, you may find it difficult to answer. But was this rape successful?'  
Aaron stared at him with wide eyes, not comprehending at first.  
'Did he penetrate you?'  
He shook his head. 'Not for want of trying, though.' He shuddered.  
'Was there any semen?'  
'A bit.' He flushed in embarrassment and looked away, remembering his father's excitement with revulsion.  
'But there would have been evidence like DNA, skin cells under your nails if you were fighting him off, hair – that kind of thing. But there's no record.'  
'That's because I didn't report it.'  
'That may have been a mistake.'  
Aaron shook his head. 'I know I should have done but all I wanted to was have a bath, get clean.'  
'I understand – many people in your position feel the same way.'  
'But there was evidence! I told you I've got a video!'  
'And we'll look at it. Do you want to add anything else?'  
He thought for a while. 'No, I don't think so.'  
'In that case, we can stop there. End of video interview.'  
After he switched the camera off, Harding smiled at him. 'That must have been very difficult for you to talk about but you did really well.'  
'So, what happens now?'  
'Well, we'll go over the interview and look at that video and let you know as soon as we can whether there's a case here or not.'  
Aaron hadn't thought of that. 'You mean ...mean it might not go to court?' He exhaled increduously. 'But why...?'  
'Let us have a look at that phone first and we'll get back to you. Can you write down the pas scode before you leave? Saves us a lot of trouble.'  
'Of course.' Aaron wrote it down. He was now familiar with it since he needed to punch it in everytime the phone went off.  
….  
His mother was waiting for him when he came out of the padded interview-room and he sank into her arms gratefully.  
'How did it go?'  
'I told him, Mum. I told him everything he did to me.' He whispered with wonder at himself in her ear, not wanting everyone else around them to hear.  
'Do you think he believed you?'  
He nodded. 'But he wasn't sure if there's a case or not.'  
'Did you show them the phone? Surely that's proof?'  
'Yeah. They're keeping it. I don't 'spose Robert'll be happy about losing his iphone.'  
'Never mind. He must have known that they were going to do that. Anyway, he's got enough money to buy another.'  
'Can I come round until he gets back from work? I don't want to be alone.'  
'Of course you can, baby.' She kissed his cheek. One thing she liked about this new Aaron was how close they'd become and how much he needed her. He'd become her affectionate little boy again but that didn't mean she wanted him to always remain broken.  
'Let's go.' They walked out together, arm in arm.

 

 

 

 

 

'


	19. 'No good deed...'

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What's going to happen now that Aaron's made her statement? Will the police make a case? Can they use the video as evidence?  
> Can Rob heal him?
> 
> Please leave a comment or kudos if you like this story, it gives me inspiration. Thanks x

Aaron came back to his flat to find Rob on his sofa.  
'I'm so proud of you.' The tall, blonde man said and immediately got up and wrapped his arms around him. Aaron leaned against him gratefully and let himself be held while Rob breathed in his scent.  
'How did it go? Sorry, I didn't ring you …I was in a meeting...'  
'Doesn't matter.' Aaron released him and moved to the sofa. 'It went well...I think...'  
'Did they keep my phone?'  
'Yeah. Sorry about that. Hope you didn't have any secrets on there.'  
'That's OK, I knew they would. I deleted anything I didn't want them to see.'  
Aaron lifted an eye-brow. 'Like what?'  
'Don't you worry.'  
Aaron smirked as he teased him. 'Bet it was gay porn, wasn't it? Or you up to any shady business deals?'  
Rob frowned in exasperation before he chuckled. 'Never mind about me, tell me how it went.'  
Aaron told him. 'He was nicer than I expected and he seemed to believe me.'  
'Of course, he did!'  
'But we don't know if it'll go to court.'  
Rob looked surprised.  
'And they don't know if the court will accept the video as evidence.'  
Rob leapt up. 'But that's ridiculous!'  
'Did they say when they'll let you know whether you got a case or not?'  
Aaron shrugged. 'Maybe tomorrow or the day after...I can't concentrate until I know...And something else happened. Cain only went and tried to kill Gordon.'

His boyfriend shrugged, looking unperturbed. 'So? Do you how many times I've fantasised about cutting off his balls and torturing him to death for what he did to you?' Rob was remembering the dream that was so vivid that he actually thought he'd killed him. And been disappointed when he woke up.

'Rob! He was shoving booze and pills down his throat! If we hadn't got there when we did...'  
'What did you do?'  
'Me and mum got them all out of him and then we left. But that's not the worst, he could use it against us. I could kill Cain for this!'  
'Maybe Gordon won't say anything.' Rob hedged, trying to be optimistic but was rewarded with a scowl.  
'And maybe pigs will fly in blankets.' Aaron shook his head, feeling guilty. 'Sorry, I know you're only trying to help.' He forced himself to put on a more positive front.  
'I didn't ask you about your day.'

Rob stretched back and slung an arm around him casually. 'It was busy but productive. Had successful meetings with 2 clients – got work coming my way for the next few months or so. Talking about that – I went into your office and checked ...I don't want to rush you back to work but don't you think you should take care of the paperwork?'  
'I'll go in tomorrow. God knows I need to get back into it, take my mind off my dad.'  
Rob gave him a quick squeeze. 'Good idea. It's nice to see you get back to normal.'  
Aaron smiled weakly, looking unconvinced.

Later, Rob held Aaron on his bed. He only – held – neither of them wanted to spoil it by rushing things. Aaron took comfort while getting used to him again, being this close to another human being without it ending in the inevitable. Especially when it seemed like that they were starting their relationship again from back to front and were only now 'dating' properly.

'I promised that I wouldn't let him hurt you.' Rob whispered in his ear, guiltily mindful that he already had. 'I'll guard you even when you're asleep, won't let him even into your dreams.'  
Just then Aaron started to snore gently so Rob didn't know if he'd heard.  
But it seemed to work – Aaron told him the next morning that he slept all the way through with no nightmares about his dad.

….  
They got up early and parted ways to go to work the next morning. Aaron did his best not to worry about Cain, nevertheless, he was still on high alert for a panicky call from his mum telling him that he'd been arrested and that the police wanted to speak to them both.  
But so far, nothing but Aaron didn't let that reassure him. He knew his dad was nothing if not ruthless – knew that from painful, personal experience.

He sighed as he filed some papers and turned on his computer to check for clients' emails. He knew he should get a fancy smart-phone like Rob's, so that he could check his emails on that while on the move.  
….  
Aaron worked until the late afternoon and then went out to the tiny shed to fetch a couple of tools he needed.  
It turned out someone was waiting for him – they pounced as soon as he came out of his office and yard which they naturally had video-cameras. The intruder was determined not to get caught like before.  
'Hello, little boy.'  
'Ain't your little boy. GET OUT!'

'Oh, don't be like that. Not after I was summoned down to the police-station this morning and had to explain myself like a common criminal because of your lies. If you're interested - I denied everything – except I might have lost my temper because you were so uncontrollable and hit you a few times. I also laid on your psychological problems thick with a trowel and of course I don't blame you for making me out to be some kind of sick pervert. I just want you to get the help that you so desperately need to get well soon like a good father should.  
'Weren't lies and you shouldn't be anywhere near me. Now get out!'  
'They never mentioned the video – this piece of amazing evidence supposed to nail me, wonder why that is?'  
'They'll use it.'  
'But then why did they let me go?'  
Aaron shrugged when inside his whole world was falling apart. Why had they let his father go even after they had seen the video? It wasn't a good sign.  
'Didn't they ask you about it at all?'  
'No, son. Funny that, isn't it? Maybe they haven't accepted it as proper evidence.'  
'They will do.' Aaron bluffed.

Gordon gave him a pitying frown that made him want to punch him to the ground. 'And I never mentioned what your psycho uncle did to me...aren't I a loving father?' Gordon gave him a twisted smile. 'But doesn't mean that I won't...'  
Aaron ignored the implied threat. 'If you don't get out right now, I'm phoning the police!'  
'Why don't you do that? Then I can tell them all about Cain trying to kill me.'  
Aaron looked away and Gordon took that as his cue to close the door quietly behind him and stride over to his son. Despite himself, Aaron felt his heart begin to thud in his chest and his legs moving backwards of their own accord.  
'Get away from me!' His breathing got shallow and fast and he fought down his panic.  
Meanwhile, his father kept advancing towards him, like an automaton.  
Then he stopped.

Aaron picked up the nearest thing at hand – a heavy bolt-cutter and brandished at his father threateningly. 'I mean it! I told the police what you did!'  
'Ahh...but you didn't get a restraining order while you were at it, did you, boy? You never did think through your actions or their consequences.' He lectured. 'Always an impulsive little shit. Never thinking about anybody other than yourself.'  
Aaron took a swing at him but Gordon dodged it easily. He then grabbed him and slammed him down on the worktable top. 

'Please...' Aaron breathe when he felt his father's weight on top of him. He felt like he couldn't move.  
'You know what you can do to make it all go away?' His assailant ruthlessly ground against him so he could feel his swelling hardness even through their clothes.  
Tears sprung in Aaron's eyes while he did his best to will them away. He couldn't even wipe his eyes – he was pinned down by his father's weight. Gordon looked lean after his recent battle with cancer but in that wiry, deceptively wasted-looking body was a tonne of strength.


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shock in store! Please don't read if you are sensitive to torture, rape and prostitution which I guess you're not if you read this far.
> 
> Aaron has confided to Rob his deepest, darkest secret but will Rob do the same?
> 
> By the way, if you like this story and could leave a comment, it would make the author extremely happy! X

'It's your 21st tomorrow, son but everyone's forgotten, even your Mum. But I haven't.' Gordon tenderly tucked in a stray strand behind Aaron's ear while his son cringed away.  
'Do you really start celebrating your big day by going to visit your uncle in prison?'  
Aaron remained silent and closed his eyes and tried to control his rapid breathing when he felt his father wrap an arm underneath him to hold him in place as he continued to taunt him. 

'Cain's a criminal with a record as long as my arm. Imagine how long he'll get for attempted murder? And it will all be your fault.'  
'No-one'll believe you.' Aaron rasped beneath him.  
Gordon reached under his son's shirt who shrank away when he felt his father's cool hand – just as cold as he remembered - scuttling over his skin, reaching lower and lower to approach the waistband of his trousers...'  
'No!' Aaron yelled and bucked in panic, trying to throw him off but was slammed down again.  
'Uh...uh...you naughty boy. Stop fighting me.' Fortunately, Gordon's hand was back in his hair and Aaron still couldn't hold back a noise of disgust.

'You know how to save your precious uncle don't you, Aaron?' He patronised him.  
'Fuck you! I'll never do what you want!' Aaron struggled again until Gordon grabbed one of his arms and twisted up his back, making him cry out in pain.  
'Yes, you know how to make Daddy happy...You always did...'Gordon crooned sleazily and released his arm, only to start unbuckling his victim's belt. 'You let me do this and take back your statement – say you were confused, didn't know what you were saying and I'll forget all about it and everything can go back to the way it was before. I'll marry your mum and …'

'NO!' Aaron screamed again in disbelief. Did his sick father really think he could come back into his life and start where he left off? Taking a deep breath, he gathered all the strength he had for one final burst to rid himself of the man when his underwear and trousers pooled on the floor and finally managed to throw him off. Meanwhile, his father staggered against the wall and mercifully stayed there.

'Stay away from me!' Aaron didn't lose any time and grabbed the bolt-cutter again and held in front of him.  
His attacker shrugged his shoulders. 'Fine.' He said.  
'I MEAN it! You ever come near me again, Dad and I'll kill you.' Aaron glared him suspicously and when he was sure that he wasn't going to try anything, he turned his back for a split second to pull up his trousers and do up his flies, feeling not a little unashamed.  
Gordon eyed him with incredulity. 'What? You don't care about your beloved uncle, that it?'  
'He's not my beloved uncle. Don't like him much. So do your worst.'  
Gordon blanched and advanced, despite his words to get in his son's face again, recklessly disregarding the makeshift weapon he was holding in his hand.  
'Go on.' He sneered at the fear he saw on the young man's face. 'Do it. Dare you – show me you got balls.'  
Aaron kept the bolt-cutter raised threateningly but otherwise didn't move.  
'No? You're soft, boy, soft! You're all bark and no bite.'  
'Oh, you'd like that, wouldn't you, dad? Blackmail doesn't work so you want me to hit you, so you can go crying to the cops, that it? Well, let me tell you something. I'm not going to make any of this easy for you.' He retorted, his voice hard. 'None of it.'  
Gordon glared and made a grab for him again in his fury but Aaron easily shoved him away.

'I admit you caught me off-guard before but I'll be prepared from now on.' Aaron raised his chin and straightened his back with quiet dignity.  
'Little boy...' He started but Aaron furiously interrupted him.  
'I'm not your little boy! Not any more! Get that through your sick head...'  
'I'll tell them about Cain!' Gordon resorted to the only card he had left to play.  
'Do it. Don't give a shit. Now get out of my office!'

'You haven't heard the last of this, son.' Gordon shook his fist at him while Aaron smirked . 'You mark my words.'  
Aaron sneered at him then with loathing. 'I'll tell them you came here and threatened and blackmailed me if you grass on Cain. They've already seen the video so they won't be surprised.'  
'But they're not going to let you use it.' Was Gordon's final parting shot before he left.  
…..  
Aaron, for his part, slumped down the wall and wrapped his arms around his knees as soon as he knew he was alone because he knew, deep-down that his father was right.  
He remained in the same position until he could stop shaking so badly.  
Just then he got another visitor but a more welcome one this time.  
'Aaron?' Rob poked his head around the door. 'Tried to call you to tell you I've finished but you weren't answering. Hey – what's wrong?'  
Aaron looked up at him and shook his head.  
'Sh...Come here, baby.' He pulled him into his embrace on the floor. 'Did something happen? With Gordon?'  
Aaron took in a few deep, shuddering breaths before he finally let the tears fall. 'They're not going to let me use the video.' He answered dully.  
'What?' Rob was shocked. 'How do you know?'  
'Gordon came round just now and told me. He...he tried to...'  
Rob stiffened, immediately on alert, Aaron could feel his body's tense reaction.  
'He was here? Did he touch you? Are you OK?'  
Aaron nodded but it didn't escape the other man how his eyes slid to the side.  
'He told me that they didn't even ask him about it down at the police-station when they asked him about my statement. They never watched it with me there when I made mine! Probably never even looked at it themselves...'

'Calm down, he's lying. Just wants to make you scared so you withdraw from the process.'  
'Maybe but then why did they let him go? Surely even he can't argue with the video?' Aaron looked up at him pleadingly, begging him for answers. But Rob didn't have any – or at least not any that he wanted to hear.  
'I don't know.' Rob shrugged his shoulders. 'But let's not assume anything until they tell us, promise me?'  
'Promise.' Aaron replied with uncharacteristic meekness. After all, there was nothing else they could do.  
'Now tell me what happened. Everything.'  
'Gordon was furious because the police questioned him after my statement and he attacked me again like the other day. But this time I managed to get him off me!'  
'He didn't...' Rob's voice was low with anxiety.  
'He tried.'  
'That fuckin' animal...you mean he...he ...again but he didn't, did he?' His heart froze in his chest. 'You should have let Cain finish him off. Done the world a favour.'  
'I told you I threw him off. Don't be such a drama-queen.'  
'You threw him off...Right, I've had enough of this. I'm going to go and see him. Make him understand what will happen the next time he messes with my boyfriend and that I'll make him suffer more than Cain did before he dies.' He got up to leave.  
'No – please don't...'Aaron grabbed him by the sleeve and pulled him down into a kiss.  
Distracted temporarily, Rob reciprocated, winding his arms gently around his waist. He wasn't sure if he had permission to go lower, so he didn't.  
'That's what he wants...I want us to do this properly, legally.' Aaron explained when they came up for air.  
'How can you say that when he's tried to...twice?'  
Because I know he won't be stupid enough to try it again.'  
'Are you sure?'

'He knows I'm not weaker than him now.' Aaron explained but his next words didn't make Rob feel any better. 'I fought him off but I was still scared of him...Can you believe that?'  
'That's only to be expected after what he did...'  
'What he did 13 years ago ! 'I'm a man now, so how can he still make me feel like 8 years old again?' He started to cry and hit himself in the chest. Hard.  
'Don't.' Rob grabbed his hand and kissed his palm, teasing a little smile out of him.  
'Oh, relax. I've haven't self-harmed since I came out of hospital.'  
'I know.' Rob knew it was true, Aaron wasn't a liar, not about things as serious as that.  
Aaron continued. 'I nearly hit him with that bolt-cutter over there until I realised that's what he wanted. Me to hit him, prove I'm violent (he explained at Rob's puzzled expression) and dangerous. A liar. But that's not the worst – he said he's going to tell the police about Cain!'  
Rob shrugged coldly. 'Don't matter.'

'What do you mean it doesn't matter? He's my uncle and he may not be perfect but he could go to prison!'  
'You and Chas can deny it. I mean what proof has he got? Two against one...'  
'I told him I don't care about Cain! What if he goes and does it and he gets sent down again? He was only trying to protect me even if I don't agree with how he went about it...'  
'Cain took precautions, right? Used gloves?'  
'Yeah...' Aaron didn't sound so sure...he could barely remember all the details of Gordon's kidnap now.  
'Don't worry about it. He's a professional, done this kind of thing loads of times, I bet. I'm more worried about Gordon trying on something with you again.'  
'You don't need to. Told you – now I'm well, I can handle him.'  
'But you nearly didn't...'  
'I told you I'll be fine!' Aaron snapped.  
'OK, OK. No need to...But why don't you tell the police?'  
'There's no camera in here, that's why! Anyway, they don't even believe you when you've recorded it!'  
'You don't know that. Aaron...you should use everything you can against him if you want to beat him.'  
'I said I don't want to, allright?'  
'Fine. It's your choice.' Rob added pointedly.  
Aaron gave him a funny look before he carried on, wanting his boyfriend to understand what exactly had happened and why it bothered him so much. Apart from the obvious, that was.  
'For a minute, I fuckin' froze... couldn't move. Couldn't even open my mouth to tell him 'No', not that it would have made any difference. Can you believe that? Was going to let him...'  
He words disappeared as he started to rock himself until Rob laid a hand on his shoulder.  
'Don't. Don't beat yourself up...He used to rape you for God's sake...You fell back into old habits...'  
'I know. But...but maybe...subconsciously...part of me wanted him to.'  
'Don't say that!'  
'But it's true. It wasn't always so bad. Sometimes it...it felt good.' He blushed furiously and refused to meet his eyes. 'I mean really good. Like it was the only way I could get approval from him, can you believe that?' Rob tried to hide his surprise but he'd heard similar stories, especially in London. Even so, he pushed him to explain himself. 'What do you mean?' Aaron shook his head as the tears fell. 'No, I can't tell you. It's too disgusting.'  
'Tell me.'  
'You first. What did you mean when you said the other day that you understood how I felt? About what he did to me?'  
Rob turned away and sighed. 'Let's forget I said anything, OK? You don't need to know.'  
'But I want to know!' Aaron grabbed his face and forced him to look at him. 'Even if it hurts! Because if you really love me and we're going to be together, we've got to trust each other. Completely.'  
'It's not that I don't ...'  
'So confide in me. I'm strong, I can handle it.'

Rob sighed, wished against the odds that he'd never made that little slip before he gave in.  
'You know when I was away working in London?'  
'Yeah, I remember. You came back with loads of money and twice as unbearable and up yourself.'  
Rob laughed despite himself and it helped break up the tension before his face took on a serious expression again.  
'Well, it wasn't all champagne and cocktails, believe me. I lost my job there and never told anyone.'  
'Rob! Why didn't you come home?'  
'Come back here and tell everyone I failed? Have them laughing at me behind my back?'  
At Aaron's confused expression, he explained, 'You're joking, right? Even then, everybody hated my guts. Especially Andy and Katie...'  
Aaron cottoned on immediately. 'Rob...' He breathed, 'What did you do to survive?'  
Rob shrugged. 'Sold myself. There. Do you hate me now? Do you really want to be with a whore?'  
'Nooo...I mean of course I do!' Aaron was shocked despite himself then his voice grew hard. 'What happened?'

'I was with this dodgy escort agency. Should have guessed...I agreed to go with back to some rich wanker's apartment – we were in some pretentious whiskey bar. Next thing I know, I'm waking up with 3 other city men – plus another sleazebag who was an Old Bailey judge - old and ugly as sin. They were pinning me down and 2 of them were inside me at once.  
'Oh, Rob...'  
'Of course they took photos to buy my silence.' Despite himself, Rob started shaking as he allowed himself to recall the deep shameful secret he kept to himself - the shame and humiliation, not to mention the pain.

'They did everything to me.' Rob managed to get out between agonized sobs. 'S and M, bondage - whips, torture - everything you can imagine and the whole ordeal lasted for 12 hours. They kept me forcing drugs on me for most of it and I kept passing out for God knows how long but I remember the worst parts.'  
'O God, Rob...I'm so sorry. Did you ever tell anyone?' Now they'd switched roles and it was Aaron holding Rob, running his fingers through his hair to comfort him.  
'You know how you were worried that what your dad did made you gay? I think that's when I started to like guys too... because before that it was just a job, a means to an end that had to be tolerated.

Aaron stared, his blue eyes shining with un-shed tears.  
'I hated myself for letting them 'tip' me after even though it hurt too much to walk for a week afterwards. My soul and dignity apparently is only worth £2000, do you know that? They were decent enough to dump me off at A & E though...' He spat out with bitter sarcasm. 'Surprised my money didn't get pinched as soon as they cut what was left of my clothes off me...'  
Aaron winced at the image and then fisted his hands at his side in rage. Rob had time to reflect on how like Cain he looked right then.  
'Can we find out who they are? I'll kill them ...'  
'No. They're too rich and too well-connected and I'm no-one.' Then Rob ripped off his shirt to his boyfriend's surprise.  
'See? I'm just like you. I got scars too, you're not the only one and what happened to both of us is on the outside for everyone to see.'  
The pain from the inside is now on the outside too, Aaron thought to himself but didn't say, meeting his eyes briefly.  
'Oh, Rob...' He whispered in muted horror before he took a finger to reverently trace the white scar from an expert knife that split one nipple from shoulder diagonally to his perfectly sculpted torso that still gave him a little shiver of desire. It was so faded that if you didn't know what you were looking for, you might miss it from a distance. Now, at least he knew why he hadn't seen the other's body since they got back together.

'So who's the most disgusting? You for getting turned on by your dad sometimes which was just your body's physiological reaction, by the way and doesn't mean that you wanted it or that he wasn't raping you or me for selling myself? Being so stupid to get drugged and gang-raped? When the others always said that things like that were 'hazards of the job'?  
'Don't, don't...' Aaron was sobbing now. 'Stop!'  
But Robert didn't stop.'You want to see more?' He demanded furiously. 'Maybe the ones they cut into my inner thighs...so faint that you can't see unless you look very carefully. The sick fucks knew how to cut and how to cover their tracks.' Rob said hesitantly as his voice cracked. 'The Judge kept his wig on the whole time and made me call him 'Daddy'. He was the worst.' Aaron felt him tremble in his arms.  
Aaron shuddered and held him tighter to reassure him that he did still love him just as much as before and kissed his temple. 'Is that why you wouldn't sleep with me?'  
'Partly. But I was mostly thinking of you and the fact that you wanted to for all the wrong reasons because I want it to be perfect when we finally do. You know, maybe it's my punishment for all the evil things I did to Andy and Katie, all the lives I screwed up and all the death and destruction I left in my wake. For trying to kill Paddy...I was really off my head then. And I still didn't learn...ruined Chrissie's life.'  
'Looks like she's getting over it.' He replied dryly.  
'Still – I deserved it.'  
'No you didn't! No-one deserves that done to them!' Aaron started to weep this time. 'I should know!'

'Sh...' Rob tilted his face up and kissed away his tears. 'You crying for me or for you?' He asked when he already knew the answer and wrapped his arms around him. 'So, I do understand, baby. Sort of – they were strangers who did it to me, not my dad but I understand a little of what you're going through.'  
'A little?' Aaron whispered unbelievingly. 'Rob...That's awful. Did you ever tell anyone else?'  
He shook his head.

Aaron let himself be comforted while he gazed at the bolt-cutter on the desk longingly because for the first time since he'd nearly died, he that old itch again.  
The pain from the inside is now on the outside too, his mind repeated insistently because now that they were each half of the same whole - he knew that now, it wasn't just his own pain he was carrying, it was Rob's as well.


	21. When I'm hurting, I hurt you (because you're the only one who's still here)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aaron and Rob finally get it on – well sort of but not before something bad happens. I'm not so good at writing these kind of scenes – hope it's hot .  
> Please leave a comment if you are enjoying this story to let the author know you like their work.  
> Thanks!

'Why don't we go back into the office, pick the stuff you need and go home?' Rob suggested when Aaron's breathing had slowed and he managed to stop crying for him.  
'You go. I'll tidy up a bit here first.' The younger man got up on his feet, trying not to eye the assorted tools scattered about and thinking about how much damage they could inflict. He definitely didn't want his lover to guess what he was thinking.  
'Will you be OK if I go and use toilet there?' Rob thought that Aaron had calmed down enough and wasn't going to do anything else stupid.  
'Are you joking? I can be left alone for a few minutes, you know.' He snapped while thinking about that bolt-cutter, trying not to think about it. What was he thinking? The screwdriver would be better...would hurt more.  
'I'm OK, see?' Aaron made a show of grinning until Rob looked relieved and got up to leave.  
'Back in a sec.' 

As soon as Rob left the room, Aaron's expression because full of determination as he reached over for the screwdriver and immediately started stabbing his forearm 2 or 3 times, each time deeper than the last. He closed his eyes in bliss as the sharp pain washed over him and he started to feel numb.  
After a while, his eyes fluttered open and he started to panic, imagining that he could hear the toilet flush from the office which was well nigh impossible. He hurriedly wiped the blood away with a cloth but the cut wouldn't stop bleeding. Still at least he couldn't hear his father's voice in his head anymore or feel his clammy grip on his skin.  
In frustration, he threw away the screwdriver onto the floor and watched it roll into a corner with dull eyes. 

'Rob?' He knocked on the door. 'You in there?'  
'I'm fine.' But he didn't sound fine.  
'Rob?' Aaron knocked anxiously again.  
There was a small noise that sounded between a sob and a laugh.  
'Are you OK?'  
There was no answer but Aaron heard the flush before Rob opened the door, blushing sheepishly.  
Aaron just stared.  
Rob pushed past him  
'What were you doing in there? What's wrong with you?'  
'I was taking a big shit, OK! Do you want me to describe it for you?'  
Aaron recoiled a little and held up his hands. 'No. Of course not. It's just that I'm worried about you...'  
'You? You worried about me?'  
'It's just ...what you just told me...about what happened in London...'  
'Well, don't. I've lived with it for years and I didn't even have to cut myself.'  
Aaron drew in a sharp breath at that and his eyes stung with tears like they did all too easily these days.  
But he wasn't ashamed.

'I'm sorry, I'm such an arsehole sometimes, God knows why you put up with me.' Rob wound his arms apologetically around him.  
'It's OK.' He understood about lashing out when you were in pain all too well.  
'No, it's not. I feel like I want to change and be a better man with you but when I talk about that shit...I turn back into the person I used to be then. Who I used to be and I hate him! I didn't mean it...What happened to me is nothing compared to what Gordon did to you...It's just that I never told anyone before and it's put me on edge.'

Aaron let out a deep, shuddery breath before he nodded in understanding.  
God, how can he be so understanding and forgiving, Rob thought.  
But then Aaron pulled away.  
Rob cupped his face and looked deep into his eyes.  
'Are you OK? You look...look...funny.'  
'I'm fine.' Aaron lied and tried to charm him with a smile.  
'You're not. I know that look...you look like you're high...And why have you got that big sweater on?'  
'I felt cold, that's why!' But Rob was already on him, of course he knew all his tricks, grabbing the jumper and raising it to check his stomach. The place he knew that was one of Aaron's favourite places to unleash his self-loathing.  
'Get off me!' Aaron resisted and angrily shoved him off him. 'What the fuck are you doing?'  
'Aaron...' Rob looked shamefaced as he complied and backed away. 'I'm sorry...'  
'Don't you know what he just did?'  
'I know I shouldn't have done that. I was just worried about you.'  
'You've no need to be.'  
'Just promise me you weren't self-harming just now!'  
Aaron stared at him but his silence told the other everything. Rob knew he would rather remain silent than lie.  
'You were, weren't you?'  
He refused to meet his eyes and worse – as if to confirm Rob's fears, a thin trail of blood inexplicably started to trunnel a path from under his sleeve and down his wrist.

Aaron looked down at it in horror before he wiped it away with the edge of his sleeve.  
'Oh Aaron...Sh, baby, it's OK....it's OK. Just let me see.'  
He shook his head defiantly without looking at him.  
'Please let me look at it. I need to know if it's going to get infected last time!'  
Aaron shrugged like he didn't care whether he lived or died and in that moment, Rob believed he really didn't.  
He knelt in front of him on the sofa and put his hand carefully on his arm. 'Aaron...Look at me.'  
He shook his head and buried his face into his sleeve and Rob felt that familiar hatred rise in his gut for his father who had reduced Aaron to this when he'd always been so strong. Tough. Cocky. Defiant. This vulnerable shell of a man who felt so worthless that he wouldn't even raise his eyes to his wasn't Aaron.  
Rob wished not for the last time that his dream had been true and that he had done all those things to Gordon before finally letting him die. Slowly.  
'I haven't hurt myself since I came out of hospital!' Aaron suddenly blurted out. 'This was the first time!'  
'Stop pretending that what he just did doesn't still affect you. That he didn't hurt you when he came round just now.'  
Aaron sat up at that. 'It doesn't because even though I froze, I got him off me in the end.'  
'That's not the point! You're hurting yourself again!'  
'I keep telling you it was a one off!'  
'After he attacked you again!'  
Some more blood trickled out from his sleeve and Rob stared at in in alarm. He was on the verge of ripping that jumper right off him but he knew that he couldn't do that. Aaron was still so fragile.  
Luckily, Aaron rolled up the sleeve to show him the oozing wound. 'There. You satisfied now?'  
Rob gasped. 'Let me go and get some stuff to clean it. Do you have any in that first aid box up there?' He pointed to it on the wall.  
'I think so.'  
Rob took it down and opened it. 'Are you in pain?'  
'A bit.' Aaron replied casually. 'But I don't need anything for it.'  
Of course you don't. Rob's expression was unreadable as he sorted through the tubes of antiseptic cream and stuff to cover injuries like plasters and bandages.  
Aaron's suffering was part of his fault no matter how much he tried to put it all on Gordon because he had treated him like dirt, like he was nothing just like his father had. Plus, he hadn't kept his promise not to let his father hurt him – hadn't protected him, not once.  
'How did you do it?' Rob asked perfunctorily as he swabbed the deep, circular wounds as gently but as thoroughly as he could.  
Aaron didn't even flinch at the sting. 'I used the screwdriver in the shed.'  
Rob winced, praying that the dirty tools wouldn't lead to sepsis like before.  
'Why? Is it because of what I told you? At least partly? I didn't want to burden you with my past but you...'  
'Do you really need to ask?' His boyfriend interrupted abruptly. 'It wasn't anything to do with you, so forget about it.'  
'I can't. It's just that...you stopped. You didn't do it even when he came round last time. What changed?'  
'I don't know. It just got unbearable this time and I had to get it out of me.'  
Rob didn't ask what 'it' was as he finished applying the lint and and wrapped the bandage around his arm.  
'That OK? Not too tight?'  
He shook his head. 

'You promise me you didn't hurt yourself anywhere else?'  
Aaron sighed pointedly but shook his head. 'No.'  
Rob didn't insult him by doubting him, knowing that he wouldn't lie to him. Not about something as serious as this.  
At least he hoped he wouldn't.  
'Come here.' He took the glass of water and the spare prescribed pain-killers plus the anti-anxiety medication that Aaron was on that was stored in a cabinet on the floor for 'just in case' . He was supposed to take the latter daily to prevent panic-attacks but he could take more of the anti-anxiety pills when he felt tempted to hurt himself. Of course it was too late now, Rob thought to himself bitterly.  
Aaron, for his part, obeyed without a murmur of protest and opened his mouth like a child.  
Rob popped the pills into his mouth and watched him gulp the water to help swallow them down.  
'Come here.' He told him after he'd finished. They weren't close enough for Rob.  
Aaron obediently snuggled up to him obediently.

Rob held him close and let a hand wander up and down his back soothingly before he let it soothe his hair instead.  
'I'm sorry I couldn't protect you and let him get to you twice. I let that piece of shit near you. I should have been there.'  
'I admit he makes me feel like I'm 8 years old again sometimes but I can handle him now.' 'Fuck! I'm so weak...' He struck his knee angrily with his fist without warning until Rob grabbed his hand and stopped him.  
'Sh...sh.... Don't do that. You're not, you're not. We'll get him, I promise.'  
Aaron didn't reply. 

'First thing we do tomorrow is get a restraining order against him.'  
'That won't stop him.' Aaron's voice was quiet and faltering, still with the fear of a  
terrified child afraid of his violent and unpredictable father in it.The tremor that passed through his body then nearly broke Rob's heart as he held him tighter.  
'It better. Otherwise I don't know what I'll...I won't let him hurt you again, I mean it this time. Just please don't hurt yourself anymore. At least tell me when you feel the urge.'

'I can't promise anything.' His boyfriend honestly and at his worried look, he added, 'Except that I'll try. I was getting better before Gordon showed up and I didn't do it for ages.'  
Rob gave a rueful smile and kissed the top of his hair even though he knew it was an empty gesture and Aaron was right. He hoped he was strong enough to resist his dad, psychologically as well as physically now. That Gordon had finally lost the chokehold he had on him all those years even he wasn't there, apparently. But none of this changed the facts – Aaron had immediately started punishing himself first chance he got after his fa  
'Don't hurt yourself anymore, please, Aaron. Because...because I can't bear it. I love you so much.'  
'I love you too.' Aaron replied quietly and almost without hesitation. 'And when...and when he ...' His voice hitched, full of tenuous hope but he was unable to get the words out, not wanting to tempt fate.  
'When he gets put away, we can start our life together properly.' Rob finished his sentence for him. 'Without always looking over our shoulders.'  
Aaron smiled back gently.  
'Do you want birthday present now?' Rob asked with a mischievious twist of his lips. 'Now that you feel better?'  
'I thought everyone had forgot…'  
'I think everybody did, even your mum. Except for me. But I don't blame her under the circumstances.'  
'No. I don't want anything. I don't want to celebrate until that pervert is behind bars. Then, I can relax.'  
'I meant your other present. The one you can have anytime.'  
'What?...Oh...' Aaron realised what he was getting at and his eyes widened.  
Rob grinned naughtily and bent down to kiss him long and deep. Aaron wound his arms around his neck to pull him down closer on the office floor.  
But when he felt his belt-buckle being unbuckled, he stopped him by putting his hands on top of Rob's.  
'Rob...I'm not sure. I still feel...'

The latter immediately tore his hands away. 'You don't have to let me, you know. I won't be insulted or pissed off or anything.'  
'I know that. Just not sure if I'm ready...'  
'You don't have to do anything back. I don't want anything else, just want to make you happy. But you can say 'no' anytime you want me to stop.'  
Aaron frowned before he turned up his head to eyeball him and grip him almost painfully. 'You never did nothing for me without expecting something in return when we were together.' He snapped, his voice harsh in accusation and old distrust.  
'Yeah? But that was different. I was arsehole back then. But I want to change – not just for me, for you. You make me want to become a better person, Aaron. Because if you went through what you did and you're still a decent human-being...maybe I can be too.' He finished simply.  
'Do you want me to make you feel good?' He added.  
Aaron's eyes fluttered and his voice got raspy with excitement. 'OK.' He nodded.  
Rob seized his lips again. 'Not good enough. I need to know you want this. Tell me you want me.'

'I want you.'  
'Louder!'  
'I want you.'  
'I don't believe you.'  
'I fuckin' want you, ROB!'

He was expecting Rob to just get on with it but instead, he smirked and kissed him again, even more passionately than before, if that was possible.  
'Ready?'  
'Yes!' He snapped, annoyed that Rob still thought he had to ask for permission when part of him knew why he felt that way and that he should be grateful instead that he had such a patient and understanding boyfriend.  
His father had attacked him again, he'd gouged out a huge hole himself in his arm but now he wanted this. Someone to make him feel good and clean again and erase the linger of his father's sleazy touch.  
And replace it with something else. Tenderness. Passion. Caring.  
Pleasure. 

Rob didn't waste any more time then as he hurriedly unbuckled his boyfriend's belt and started to pleasure him just as expertly as he remembered, starting with a little lick to his tip and working his way down his shaft, sliding and slipping as he went before coming back up to tease his slit again.  
'Oh...' Aaron murmured between moans while his body seemed to have a mind of itself.  
It felt like the other man's lips and tongue were on every sensitive part of himself as he writhed and moaned, 'Yes! Just like that!'.  
It had been far too long – he hadn't even touched himself since Gordon popped up again. Unsurpisingly, seeing his father again had killed his libido.  
Aaron almost screamed put loud and Rob obliged him with one or two licks to his balls before he took him in completely, just like he knew Aaron loved. The fact that he had a full frontal view of his lover working on him made the whole thing even hotter. 

The pleasure was even more incredible than he remembered with him and it assaulted him relentlessly in waves. Clearly, Rob had learnt new London tricks.  
'I think I'm gonna...' Aaron gasped when he was past the point of no return but Rob didn't pay any attention as he swallowed and released him and gathered him up in his arms to ride the waves of his powerful orgasm that was still reverberating right through him.  
'Fuck! That was unbelievable. Where did you learn to do that thing with your tongue?' Aaron asked when he got his breath back, he meant that it seemed to slide and flick and twist all over and under him in all new, unpredictable ways. 

Rob's eyes turned dark and full of pain as turned his head away.  
'I'm sorry.' Aaron stroked his cheek gently as his breathing returned to normal. 'I didn't think...'  
'No, it's fine. Just that I never told anyone what I used to do for money. Had to keep the punters happy.' He explained not without a little bitterness.  
'I'm sorry.' Aaron repeated and kissed him, tasting himself on him. 'At least after everything, we're finally together now. Let's go for a drink.'  
….  
'Good idea.' Rob agreed, still he could see that his boyfriend was covering up how much this latest encounter with his evil father had shaken him up. And he couldn't believe that Aaron wasn't going to let him do anything about it. Yet he didn't want to be like Cain and give the arsehole a hold over them.  
The older man waited while his boyfriend shut off the computer and put his papers in order before making sure that everything was switched off. He was always meticulous that way.  
'Come on.' Rob clapped him on the shoulder.  
…  
However, as soon as they got to the Woolpack, Aaron immediately regretted his impulsive decision because he'd forgotten that his mum was doing her shift behind the bar tonight.  
'Hello, sweetheart. How are things?' She greeted him brightly as a good barmaid should but Aaron could see the pain and exhaustion behind those eyes and how fake her good cheer really was. Probably the punters bought the act though.  
'Fine.' He lied.  
'What do you want to do for your birthday?'  
'Nothing.'  
'But...'  
'I said don't bother.'  
'Aaron....It's your 21 tomorrow!'  
'Are you serious? I don't feel like celebrating.'  
'No... of course not.' She sighed. 'Maybe after...?'  
'After what?' He snapped.  
She went pale.  
'Sorry. Mum.' He bowed his head. 'I just can't think about having a party right now. You understand, right?'  
'I guess I'll have to.' She said a little stiffly. 'I just thought it might take your mind off things...'  
'Maybe after we win.' He replied with more confidence than he felt. He hadn't forgotten what his father said to him and Aaron feared that he was right – the police weren't going to let him use the video. 

'Win what?' Jackson suddenly popped up with an empty glass but with a huge grin the size of the Cheshire's cat. 'Hi, mate. Long time, no see. What you been up to? What you doing for your birthday?  
'Working.' Aaron dismissed him, ignoring his expression.  
'Can I have two of those lagers, please?' He pointed at the fancy pump.  
'You and him together now? I heard he dumped Chrissie. Right before they were getting married too. For you.'  
Aaron blushed and looked away. He didn't have a cutting comeback for once even though he'd been prepared for this.  
'Well, it's better than jilting her at the altar.' His mother butted in for him.  
Jackson shrugged and gave her his order.  
'In a minute.' She replied and handed her son the two drinks she had just been pulling.  
'On the house, son. Well – one of them, anyway.' She glanced over at where Rob was waiting on the table, all looking forlorn.  
'Mum!'  
'Go on, then. I'll give him a freebie too.' She rolled her eyes.  
'Thanks. You haven't told anyone, have you?' He asked her worriedly, lowering his voice but the damn Jackson was listening intently, his ears wide open.  
'Told anyone what?'  
'Oh...just some family business.' Then to her son, 'No, of course not!' She seemed indignant at the idea. Just then the queue started to build behind him with everyone jostling and talking loudly and he made his excuses and left.  
As he crossed the room, Aaron had the sense that everyone was staring at him and talking about him behind his back like his ex, Jackson. Knowing every disgusting detail about him and his dad – that occasionally Gordon had forced out a moan from him when he didn't want to. He even imagined that there had been a short pause in the conversation when they came in together.  
Let's not get paranoid, Aaron, he warned himself. They're not talking about you and Gordon, they're talking about Rob jilting Chrissie for YOU!  
When he sat down, he could feel Chas' eyes on his back, watching him with concern every spare second she got - alternating between that and glaring openly at Rob with dark suspicion.  
'Doesn't she ever give it a rest?' Rob groaned. 'I wish there was somewhere else to go for a pint in this tinpot village.'

'Now, now don't be a snob.' Aaron chided lightly. The booze helped him relax and forget all his troubles, even people gossiping about them behind their back.  
Aaron went up there again and again to get more, Rob gave him the money for two rounds because neither of them thought it would be a good idea for Rob himself to go up to the bar, not with Chas on the warpath. By the fourth or fifth pint, he was feeling pleasantly buzzed and thoughts of his father seemed far away.  
Even better, Jackson stayed out of his way and was chattering loudly with his group of friends.  
As soon as it was her break, Chas called her son out back.  
'How are you really doing? Don't lie - tell me the truth, love.' She asked soliticiously as soon as they were alone.  
'I'm fine, mum, honestly. Just on tenterhooks wondering what they're going to tell us tomorrow.' That was the time-frame the police had given him. He didn't want to burden her with anything more because his revelations about the love of her life had hit her hard, he knew even if she pretended that losing the love of her life and the promise of a new marriage didn't matter.  
'I'm sure it'll be good news. How can they not make a case?' She rubbed his arm soothingly. Aaron wasn't the only one pretending to be more cheerful than he actually felt.  
'Is that boy behaving himself and looking after you?'  
'Who? You mean Rob?'  
'Of course.'  
'Listen, Mum. I want you to stop having a go at him, OK? We're together and if you can't accept that...'  
'Fine, fine.' She held up her hands in mock surrender. 'But it doesn't mean I have to trust him though...'  
'Mum! Don't make me choose! I don't need this right now. Besides, he's been there for me.'  
'I'll give him that, so far it looks like he's even done you good...' She left her sentence unfinished, her unsaid words hanging ominously between them.  
'Exactly! So leave him alone!'

'Fine.' She slammed down the glass of coke she was drinking so hard on the table that it nearly shattered.  
'Why are you wearing that old thing?' He was using the long sleeves to cover the cuts on his forearm and trust her to notice it. 'Did you hurt yourself again?'  
Aaron shrugged - it was better than outright lying to her face – he really couldn't cope with her reaction - without replying and went back to his table. The whole time he imagined he felt eyes on him – first his mother watching his back with concern and everyone else looking at him and Rob sitting together and having a drink. Not that they advertised their relationship – it was too early for that but the fact that they were doing that had everyone's tongues wagging.  
Aaron decided that he had had enough to deal with that day but he was going to leave and give them something more to gossip about.  
'What was that all about?' Rob asked as soon as he put the glasses down.  
'She still thinks you're Satan. And that you don't look after me properly.' Aaron rolled his eyes.  
Rob laughed. 'I'd be disappointed with anything less from Chas. I guess I can't blame her for being protective over you, especially with me.' Especially now.  
'I told her not to make me choose because I won't.'  
The other was touched. 'You said that to her?'  
Aaron nodded and reached over to squeeze his hand before he said loudly, 'And I don't care if anyone doesn't like it that we're together.' A direct challenge to their audience.  
People glanced round briefly but went back to chatting.

'Does that include me?' A familiar, crisp upper-class English accent cut through the air like a sword.  
Now everybody was staring and it wasn't just Aaron's imagination after all.

….................


	22. Poisioning the well

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well, we're still waiting to hear if the police will accept the video and Gordon is still on the prowl. Aaron's getting better gradually but he's still pretty fragile and now it looks like there's going to be more conflict, in the pub of all places! 
> 
> Enjoy!  
> By the way, if you like this story, please drop a comment. It would make me very happy x

They wheeled round to see that Chrissie had already made her dramatic entrance completely missed by them and was now standing behind Robert's chair. Always elegant, she looked even more stylish than usual in an expensive red dress that showed off her flawless figure to perfection.

'Don't worry, I didn't do it for you.' She snapped at Robert, reading his mind.

The whole pub went deathly quiet. Chas looked on in shock and even though she'd been expecting this showdown eventually, she hadn't expected it to be so soon. Even so, she decided to wait and see what would happen. Maybe they could resolve their differences amicably like adults. Like hell they would.

'By the way, for anyone who by some miracle hasn't heard, my fiance jilted me for another man.'

Oh God...Of course they all have because the world revolves around you, you spoilt little mare. Chas thought to herself. Why do they always do it here in the pub, right in front of everyone?

'The same one sitting next to him who he already betrayed me with before and I was stupid enough to forgive him!' Chrissie continued her public humiliation of her ex-finace and his lover, apparently stone-cold sober. After all, she'd probably come in to drown her sorrows and been shocked to see Rob and Aaron together. She pointed one slender, white finger accusingly at Aaron, jabbing it right in his face, causing him to flinch back. 'And here they are, both flaunting what they did right in my face!'

Aaron grimaced when he recognised the large diamond engagement ring Robert had given her.

'We didn't know you were there.' Rob explained awkwardly. 'We're only having a quiet drink.'

This was the first time he'd laid eyes on her since he'd gone back to her place to get his stuff and she'd screamed at him and told him to get out.

'Would it have made any difference if you had? You'd still be flirting with your little psycho screw-up boyfriend, wouldn't be taking my feelings into account!'  
Chas intervened then. 'I know you're upset Chrissie but you talk to my son like that again and you can get out!' While at the same time, Aaron half rose from his seat in rage.

'Who you calling 'chav', you snooty bitch?' Rob laid a restraining hand on his arm and pulled him back down.

'Oh, diddums. Does baby still need Mummy to come to the rescue?' Chrissie continued to goad Aaron in a baby voice but quieter this time so that Chas couldn't hear.  
He didn't reply but his face grew scarlet with anger and Rob sensed him trembling with rage and embarrassment beside him.

'Leave him out of it!' Rob snapped.

'Why when he's the reason you left me in the first place?'

'We didn't want to hurt you, Chrissie. I'm sorry we did but we love each other.' Aaron finally spoke up. 'It's true you know...it just happened.' Rob stared at him. This wasn't like Aaron. Aaron usually lashed out or cried or did both but he never, ever said 'Sorry'. 'Like it did before when you were sleeping with him behind my back?' She retorted.  
He shook his head. 'No, not like that. I'm sorry.'

'You want to know the real reason?' Rob got up to face her down. 'Because sometimes you can be such a heartless bitch!'

'Rob!' Aaron protested by his side. The stinging slap seemed to echo all round the pub and there were twitters and gasps of shock.  
Rob didn't bother to rub his cheek but grinned back at her, infuriatingly smug and ignoring Aaron pulling at his sleeve.

'Right, that's it.' Chas was preparing to leave the one annoyed looking punter who wasn't engrossed in the drama but was waiting for her to take his order. 'Sorry. Back in a sec.'  
'You three!' She yelled as she bore down on them. 'Take this outside now or talk this out like civilised people. I won't have you airing your dirty laundry in front of the whole village and upsetting the other customers!'

'Upsetting us?' One old dear chuckled to her friend. 'This is better than Jeremy Kyle!'

'Then why didn't you bring up your son to be a decent human being and not to wreck other people's marriages?' Chrissie turned on her next.

'Watch it, lady.' Chas warned her.

'I'll go.' Aaron finally said. 'Let you two talk.'

'Yes, please leave.' Chrissie agreed.

'No, you don't.' Rob ordered and yanked him back down again and put his arm around him, despite her dirty look. Feeling more uncomfortable than ever, Aaron shook him off and looked away before he glared back around him. 'Go on, gawped your fill now? The entertainment's over.' He snapped at the onlookers who muttered and mumbled but took the hint and looked away to focus on their own gossip and drinking instead.

Pointedly ignoring Aaron, Chrissie grabbed Rob's hand and the ring he gave her caught the light from the log-fire blazing away. He couldn't help staring at it at first before he unfroze and pulled his hand away from under hers like hers was on fire.

'Please, Rob. I need to talk to you alone. Let him go.' She glanced at Aaron. For the second time, he tried to leave but got forcefully pulled back down by his boyfriend.

'Don't you dare. He's staying because whatever you have to say to me, he can hear too.'  
Aaron blushed but turned away to give them space. It wasn't only embarrassment, however – Rob pushing him around like that was getting a strong reaction in him. A thrill of excitement was coiling at the pit of his belly and he felt like...oh...he felt... He didn't have the words for what he felt but something was beginning in him...  
Of course, Rob insisting on him staying no matter how awkward it made things and confirming by doing that they were indeed together probably had something to do with it...

'Fine.' She was flustered but trying not to show it. Rob knew he was probably being unnecessary cruel but he didn't know how else to convince her. She obviously thought it was just another fling with Aaron and that he was still going to marry her in the end.

'Say what you've got to say.'

'Give us another chance, please. I'll do anything you want – give you anything.' She put deliberate emphasis on that last word and chewed on her lower lip. He looked at her, wondering how he had ever been impressed by her when she seemed so cheap and tawdry to him now. Shallow and superficial...had had everything too easy far too long to develop any real depth of character whereas Aaron and his strength born from suffering, even his pain that Rob longed to take away from him - were so much more alluring.

'That's just it with you rich folk. Think you can just buy anything and anyone, don't you?'  
'Rob!' Aaron cried. 'Stop it! There's no need to be like that!' He glanced almost apologetically at her. Chrissie gazed back at him curiously before she carried on, lowering her voice. No wonder with what she said next.

'Look, I know that sometimes you have other needs. Ones that I can't...am unable to fulfil. It's clear to me now and I can live with that.' She looked at Aaron again, this time more meaningfully. 'And I'll let you. Just please marry me – I know everything else is cancelled and I don't care about any of that. But it's not too late for the registry office in town.'

'What?' Aaron stared back at her in disbelief as he flushed scarlet. She made him feel like a whore.  
Rob shook his head in disgust. 'Unbelievable.'

'I meant it.' She reached for his hand but he was expecting it this time and pulled away in time.

'Stop it! You're only embarrassing yourself!'

'I love you, Rob. I know you still deep-down love me too.'

I never loved you. I was only going to marry you for your name and your money. But he didn't say any of this to her not with Aaron looking on, imploring him silently.  
Maybe I can change – become good – for him. 'Look, Chrissie, me and Aaron are together now and the sooner you move on, the better. I'm sorry for what we did but it's better than getting hitched and then finding out after, isn't it? What if we'd had kids?'

She rounded on Aaron then. 'You know I used to hate you but now I just feel sorry for you. Did he tell you he loves you? That he'll always be there for you?... He did, didn't he?' She looked at him with a pitying expression. 'But he will as soon as he gets bored.'  
Aaron blinked and his eyes began to water. Despite himself, her words were like missiles homing in on his insecurities when it came to Rob and he found that he couldn't reply.

'Don't listen to her.' His lover squeezed his shoulders.

'The truth is that he's incapable of loving anyone but himself.' She was relentless.

'Shut up!' Rob's voice rose. 'Stop saying those things to him! They're not true and you know it!' She smirked as if she knew better with her full, sensual mouth twisting snidely and Rob wondered at himself for thinking her once beautiful.

Meanwhile, Aaron started to breathe in little panicky breaths which he desperately tried to control by breathing slowly like his psychiatrist had shown him while she watched him in surprise.

'I need some air.' He pushed past Rob and this time the latter let him go, Chrissie was the very person he wanted to see him cry as he wiped his eyes and drew up his hoodie.

'Aaron? You OK, love?' He heard his mother call after him.

'Yeah, fine. Just stuffy in here.' She looked sceptical as she finished drying the last few glasses as her anxiety grew.

'Aren't you going to run after him?' Chrissie taunted Rob.

'You're a fuckin' bitch. Do you know what he's been ….' He stopped himself just in time before he left and she was left looking lonely and lost.

'You OK?' Andy came over.

'What do you think?' He put a hand on her shoulder.  
'I don't need this anymore.' She said with a sob in her throat before she tore the diamond ring off her finger and threw it dramatically onto the table with all the onlookers staring.

'Here. Anyone want it?' She asked them. Then she left with the farmer following her out.

Jackson ran to grab it but Chas stopped him. 'Don't you dare. Give it me.'

'That ain't fair!' He whined but did as he was told. 'What are you going to do with it?'  
'I'm going to give it back to her, that's what. I might not like her but I ain't a thief and she's going to regret it tomorrow.'

He looked at her doubtfully.

'Don't you look at me like that. Do you want another?' He nodded.

She glanced at the clock. She had tried to back off from her son like he wanted and let Rob help him but she just knew something was seriously wrong. Her afternoon shift would be shortly over but she couldn't even wait that long with her mother's intuition screaming at her to go and find her son.

'Look, can you do us a favour?' She asked Jackson. 'You just saw what happened and I'm worried sick about Aaron. Can you cover us at the bar – I only got until 4.'  
'I know. I hope they'll be OK. Do I get a free drink if I do?' She rolled her eyes.

'OK. That one's on the house.'

'How about a double shot of coke and whiskey to chase it down?'

'You're pushing it now...it's only 10 minutes! And you get too drunk and you won't be able to do the job!'

He only grinned.  
'Fine then!' She gave in, exasperated. It was a family emergency after all. As soon as Jackson had taken her place, she grabbed her coat and hurried out after her son. She knew that he would probably be with his boyfriend but she needed to know he was OK. He had been on the verge of tears from whatever had been said on their table. She hadn't heard the words but she could guess – flouncing in all dressed up to the nines like that it was obvious that Chrissie wanted to get Rob back and if she succeeded, Chas didn't know what it would do to Aaron. She just had to trust Rob.

...

Aaron had stormed out and Rob thought he'd gone home at first and was hurrying back there when he spotted him. A lonely, dejected-looking figure clutching the side of the stone bridge – the very one his uncle had stood on while debating what to do about the man who had hurt him so very badly.

'Hi.'

'Piss off.' It was just as Rob had feared – Chrissie had dripped her poison into his ears and now Aaron didn't trust him. His problems with self-esteem always made him feel that he could be abandoned anytime, Rob had gathered that.

'No.' Rob refused simply before the other wheeled on him. Aaron grabbed him by the coat lapels. The tears were standing in his eyes even as he snarled in his face.

'She right? You gonna use me then leave me just like old times, just like you did to her?'

'Aaron...' He was shoved away. Hard.

'Fuck off. I don't need your pity and I'll deal with my sick fuck father in my own way.'

'Shh...' 'I said leave me alone!' He charged at him, slamming him into the other side of the bridge. Rob gasped – he knew he'd have bruises tomorrow but he probably deserved them.

'I told you I only want you. Only you.'

'Don't believe you...' Aaron was sobbing now against his chest as Rob wound his arms around him.

'Don't let her get to you. Didn't you hear her trying to buy me? How desperate she sounded? She should have more self-respect...' 'You hurt her. You didn't have to say those things to her – you promised me that you were going to change! It's obvious that she still loves you and what if you get bored with me one day just like she says and give in to her? Or find someone else?'

'That ain't going to happen. Don't you know that you're what I'm being looking for my whole life? I just didn't realize it before because I must have been blind back then.' Rob lightly stroked his cheek with the back of his hand just like he'd seen Chas do and ran his fingers through Aaron's hair. He knew that this one of the best ways to comfort Aaron and he guessed it was because it reminded him of his mother's touch and not his dad's.

'Maybe he's right. No-one can love me. Nobody wants me. Everyone will just use me and chuck me aside when they've had enough of me because I'm a worthless slut...'  
Rob didn't even think he was even aware that he was thinking out loud and that scared him most of all. 'Don't say that. Don't you ever say THAT!' Rob grabbed him then and forced him to look at him. 'Don't you ever ...not even in your head, you understand?' Aaron's eyes flew wide.  
Rob shook him none too gently until he nodded and he could see in his eyes that he meant it. He heard his boyfriend let out a quiet sob of submission before he felt the weight of his head lying on his chest. Rob was so much taller than him but Aaron was stockier. 'It'll be OK, everything'll be OK...' Rob hushed him. 'I'm not going to hurt you, I promise. Never going to leave you, sh...'

….

When Chas got outside, she shivered as she scanned for the way her son went, looking for two figures. Then she saw them. Rob was rubbing Aaron's back on the bridge and they had their backs to her, facing the stream.

'Son, you OK?' She felt stupid for asking because Aaron wasn't. Would never be until his evil father got put away for good and even then... He didn't answer or turn around but moved closer to his boyfriend. But she heard him sniff and saw his hand reach up inside his hood to wipe his eyes, presumably.  
'Hi, Chas.' Rob greeted her instead. 'Sorry about before – we didn't know she was going to come in just then, I swear.'

'Maybe not but you must have known it was coming.'

'We have the right to go and drink at our own pub if we want to!'

'Well, at least the first awkward encounter is out of the way now and she's seen that you really are a couple. Maybe she'll finally come to terms with it. Aaron?'  
Silence except for the sound of his harsh breathing. She knew he was fighting a panic attack and that he didn't want her to know. 'Why won't he look at me?' Rob shrugged and held him closer. 'What happened? Did she say something to upset him?'

'Oh, I think you can guess what she said when she was trying to convince me to get back with her.'

'Aaron, sweetheart? What did Chrissie say to you?' He turned around and she could see that he'd been crying.  
'Oh...sh...come here' She reached out her arms for him. Rob let him go and stood back to let Chas take over. He sensed that Aaron needed his mother and that there was something that she could give him that Rob just couldn't, try as he might.  
'It's not just her.' Aaron sobbed. 'It's everything. Gordon coming back and I don't even know if it's going to go to trial! He could get away with everything!'

'Sh...I know, I know. But we have to stay hopeful.'

'Mum – he's still...he's still trying to get at me.'  
She stiffened in shock before she cupped the side of his face with one hand and searched his eyes.

'You mean like...like he used to? Did he try again?' Rob stood there, unable to believe that Aaron was actually telling her about his father attacking him again. Aaron broke down, unable to carry on as she did her best to soothe him.

'What did he mean?' She turned to Rob. 'Aaron...is it alright for me to tell her?'

'Tell me what?' Her voice rose in concern, fearing the worst. Aaron nodded.  
'The sick bastard came and attacked him in his office today but he fought him off. He's still shaken up.. Amazing he could act like normal in the pub just now.'  
'Oh my baby.' She crooned. 'My poor baby. Did he try and hurt you again?' To Rob, she said, 'I can't believe this. He's sick! Even now...'

Aaron was still weeping with abandon and she knew he wasn't hearing when she whispered to Rob, 'I swear if the police won't do anything about him, someone else has to.' She held his eyes for a long moment before dropping hers and turning back to her son. Rob's own grew wide as he understood her meaning perfectly.

'Why didn't he die from that cancer!' She cried.

'But then we probably would never have found out what he put through him through and he would have got away with it. This way at least he'll get justice.' Rob answered.  
'Mum...Don't worry, I'm OK.' Aaron finally got control of his emotions 'I told him I'll be prepared from now on and what'll happen to him if he comes near me again. I don't think he'll be bothering me if he knows what's good for him.'

'We'll just have to hope not. Any more news about the video? Are they going to allow it as evidence? We need to get that psycho off the street ASAP.'

'We don't know yet.' Rob answered. 'We'll probably find out tomorrow. Maybe we can even apply for a restraining order.'

'That would be good.' She looked at her son then. 'But it's your birthday tomorrow!'

'I really couldn't care less – I mean it – don't do anything for me. It wouldn't...feel right.' Aaron declared. 'At least not until I really have something to celebrate and I'd rather wait then.'  
'We'll beat him, we will.' Chas tried to reassure him. Rob noticed that she was making a point of including him in this 'we' and that she was finally warming to him. They'd never be good friends, too much had happened and he knew that. But at least she trusted him to take care of Aaron.

For the time-being at least.


	23. We're going to run you right out of town

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hi there, here's a monster chapter (over 7500 words but not quite 8000) because once I started, I couldn't stop – all these ideas came rushing into my head and anyway, I don't know how to divide up the chapter. Don't really want to, if I'm honest. Admittedly, the last part with Aaron and Cain is adapted from stand-alone piece I posted separately but it isn't exactly the same and I hope the length of the chapter doesn't put you off.  
> Enjoy! Please leave a comment if you like this story – I'd really appreciate it x Thanks x
> 
> …..  
> There are new developments in the case and the rest of the family is told what Gordon did to Aaron. How will they react? And why is Cain being such a dick to Aaron – he didn't want to help him with his statement. Aaron needs him! 
> 
> Will Aaron celebrate his 21st? In the UK it's an important birthday – it means you have come of age. Poor Aaron! More importantly, has Chrissie succeeded in poisoning their relationship and making Aaron doubt Rob? You'll have to wait and see!

It has been almost a week and when Rob phoned the police station - when he actually managed to get through to Sargent Harding, he told him that there were a backlog of cases and that they – The Powers That Be where still deciding on whether to admit the video as evidence or not. Chas scoffed at that. 

'What do you think it means?' Aaron looked up at her with a pitifully worried expression. The three of them were sitting around the kitchen table.  
'I don't know, love.'  
'But he seemed to be on our side. He believed me, I know he did!'  
'I'm sure he does, love. But he can't help it if they're taking their time.'  
Just then Cain come in and when he saw Aaron, he visibly blanched. 'Just forgot something.' He went to his room and quickly came back down and left without looking at them. All of them had noticed how he spent as little time as possible at home – either coming back very early or late when they were asleep. When they asked him where he'd been, they received a curt reply, 'Out' or 'Business', i.e., none of your. In the end, they'd given up trying to talk to him.  
'Thanks for asking. The case is going great!' His nephew called out sarcastically at his back before he left. Apart from a brief pause where Cain seemed to freeze draw a sharp intake of breath that they all heard, he didn't react or reply before he slammed the door shut behind him.  
'Why's he doing that?' Aaron demanded angrily. 'He acts like he can't stand the sight of me!'  
Rob sighed and tried to put his hand on top of his but was impatiently shaken off.

'Now, you're imagining it.' Chas tried to soothe him without thinking even though her brother's akwardness around all of them but Aaron in particular, hadn't escaped her either. She hadn't meant to lie or brush it off.  
'Don't tell me I'm imagining things!' Her son suddenly erupted. 'Don't you know who you sound like?'  
He went and stomped upstairs to the spare bedroom she'd given them (Cain had said neither 'aye or nay') in the meantime. Aaron didn't want to stay at his place, part of him was still afraid of his father coming back even though they'd got the restraining order pretty quickly.  
'Aaron!' She ran out of the kitchen after him. 'I'm sorry – I didn't mean that.' She was about to follow him but Rob stopped her.  
'I'll deal with it. It's not just you – it's the hanging around, waiting to hear. You know what he went through to get that evidence.'  
'I know!' She snapped back, not without a little accusation in her tone. Rob knew that she was just barely tolerating him, letting him stay (in Cain's house) for Aaron's sake.  
'Look, I'm not trying to come between you and I'm grateful for you letting me stay over but it doesn't help him if we wrap him up in cotton-wool and whitewash things. You know he's right – Cain has been avoiding him and Aaron's not blind.'  
'He doesn't meant to. He's just not good at dealing with things like this...He's loved him since he was a little boy, no matter how tough he acts. I know he does!'  
'Well then, why don't you explain this to Aaron?'  
'Because he won't take it from me. Go on – you try and talk to him. I'll try and talk to Cain when he gets back. This can't go on – we're all under so much pressure as it is – wondering if it'll ever go to court.'  
Rob grinned ruefully before he went upstairs.  
'Aaron?'

'What?' Aaron looked up surlily from his pillow. Rob wasn't surprised to see traces of tears in his eyes.  
'It's true, isn't it? It's not all in my head. He hates my guts now, thinks I deserved it. He thinks I'm bad like he said!' He cried.  
'Sh...sh...calm down.' Rob drew him to him. 'He doesn't think like that. Why would he try to kill him for you if he thought it was your fault? You heard the things he said to Gordon. He blames him.'

'Then why does he treat me like I don't exist? Or he wishes I didn't?'  
'I don't know.' Rob shrugged his shoulders. 'You know he's old school – must be even more of a shock for him than the rest of your family and his first instinct was to go and remove the threat. People didn't talk about it when it was fathers and sons – when this stuff happened to boys - 'it just didn't happen'.'  
'But it did. And you know when I came out, I was half-expecting him to throttle me, then disown me.' Aaron thought aloud. 'But he was fine with it. Do...do... you think that's all it is? He doesn't know what to say?'

Aaron was thinking of his mother telling the family yesterday about what his father had done to him (after asking his permission first, of course). Still, he'd forbidden her to speak of the video or his father's latest attacks - unbelievable in themselves. He hadn't wanted to be there to suffer their pitying looks or watch them exchanging glances of enlightenment that said 'That's why he's the way he is, I get it now'. He'd been dreading seeing them around the village, had almost packed his bags and taken off before Rob stopped him. His boyfriend had told him he had nothing to be ashamed of, he hadn't done anything wrong and he shouldn't be the one to run. The first person he'd seen who'd heard had been Jackson who had told him how sorry he was and hugged him. Told him not to give up. Followed by his grandparents with tears in their eyes that they were only holding back for him. That had been the worst of all – seeing the shell-shock in their eyes as they'd done the same as Jackson. He knew they were struggling to believe it. Hurting them was the worst of all – they didn't need the added grief at the time of their lives and it made Aaron hate Gordon all the more. Because his father hadn't just hurt him – he'd hurt his whole family and his friends. Aaron's only hope was that his father had never touched his half-sister, Liv. He'd been on the verge of looking them up – he knew Sandra had moved away but he didn't know where because now it was out in the open, he couldn't deny the truth like he'd done for so many years. But there hadn't been the looks of condescending pity he'd feared or of 'I told you so'.  
'What are you thinking?' Rob asked, rubbing his back.  
He'd fallen into the whirlwind of his thoughts without realising it, like he did so often these days.  
'I'm thinking I wish I'd never started this. Maybe everyone would have been better off not knowing. And it was so long ago... You didn't see the look in their eyes – Lisa and Zack...you didn't see how heartbroken they were and now it looks like it's not even going to court.'  
'You couldn't carry on living like you were. You were destroying yourself!'  
Still am, Aaron corrected him mentally. Just in places you won't look.  
'The only good thing...I was so selfish, I never thought about Liv. He might have done the same to her! And I didn't care. Only thought about saving myself.'  
'But you said Sandra left him.'  
'Yeah but why? Why did they really argue so much all the time? Did he touch my sister too? I thought he wouldn't do it to her but now looking back on it – I'm not so sure anymore.'  
'You don't know that. There's no use in torturing yourself. You were just a kid yourself just trying to survive the worst thing that could ever happen to anyone.'  
'But I was her big brother. I should have protected her. It was my job!'  
'Look, when this is all over, whatever happens, we'll find her. I promise.'  
'Promise? You promise me?' Aaron looked up at him from under his heavy brows.  
'Promise. Even if I have to spend all my savings to hire a private detective.'  
'You'd do that for me?' Aaron gazed at him in wonder.  
'Of course. I'd do anything for you to make you happy. I love you.'  
'Love you back.' Aaron pecked his lips. It might have turned into something more even though they were still taking things slowly but just then his mother interrupted them.  
'You boys OK up there?' Chas called up the stairs. She knew that Aaron wanted her to give him some space. He was 21 years old now - a man and not her little boy anymore.  
'OK, Mum. Sorry about before.' He called down and Rob was relieved to see that he was visibly more relaxed now than before.  
'That's OK, son. We're all on tenterhooks at the moment.'  
Just then the doorbell rang. 'I'll get it.' Chas called up at them. 'Probably just the postman – I'm expecting a big parcel.'  
But it wasn't.  
Sargent Harding stood on the doorstep. 'Good morning. May I come in?'  
Chas motioned him in. 'Do you have anything new about the case?'  
'I do in fact. Is Aaron about?'  
'Aaron? It's the police. Can you come down?' She called.  
'This can't be good.' Aaron wiped his eyes with his sleeve. 'Why's he come in person? Must be bad.'  
Rob secretly agreed with him but decided to try and stay positive for Aaron's sake.  
'Come on, it could be good. At least we'll know either way. Then we'll know the next step. 

….

'I'm sorry but I thought it best to give you the bad news in person. I'm afraid that they're not accepting the phone video recording as evidence.'  
'What?' It was Rob who got up on his feet and furiously jabbed his finger in the policeman's face causing Harding to draw back a little. 'You can't tell me...Do you know what he went through to get it to put that sick bastard away for good?'  
Chas looked at him sharply in warning and shook her head.  
'Rob...Sit down, you're not helping.' Aaron admonished him calmly. He'd been expecting this to be fair. 'Sorry about him.' He apologised.  
'Yeah, I'm sorry. It's just that we've been waiting so long...'  
'I understand you're upset.'  
'What was the reason?' Aaron asked.  
'All they said was that the evidence was inconclusive.'  
'What does that mean?' Rob pushed, his voice rising in upset.  
'I'm sorry, I really am. I don't know what to say. It could be a number of things. Maybe the file was corrupt...or became damaged...'  
'It wasn't! Did you watch it? That enough evidence for you?'  
Harding actually blushed and looked away. 'No – I'm not on the forensics team...'  
'Rob, shut up! It's not his fault. If you can't control yourself, get out!' Aaron told him firmly. He turned back to the visitor. 'Sorry, Officer. He's upset for me, he ain't having a go at you.'  
'I understand and I just wish there was something else I could do. For what it's worth, I believe you, I really do. I've met men like Gordon Livesey before during my career – I know his type.'  
'Well, what do we do now?' Chas asked with a strained smile on her face.  
'There's nothing we can do. They will close the case unless...', he looked them in the eye meaningfully, '...unless more corroborating evidence is discovered or more witnesses reveal themselves. Then they'll be forced to reopen it.' He finished the rest of his tea in one more swig from the mug and stood up.  
'Thank-you, Officer.' Chas showed him to the door.  
'Here's my contact card with my personal phone number in case you need it .' He handed it to Aaron. 'I don't normally do this...but I feel that you are a very special and brave young man. I'll let you know if anything changes.'  
'Thanks.' Aaron smiled up at him with hope in his eyes that Rob hadn't seen in a long time despite his disappointment. All their hopes had been hanging on that one piece of evidence.  
'Don't thank me. Call me any time.'  
'Bye.'  
'Bye.'  
As soon as he was gone, Chas sank to the table. 'That's it, then. He's won.' She sighed and buried her head in her hands.  
'No, he hasn't.' Aaron looked up at them. 'Not necessarily.'  
They stared at him in shock.  
'Didn't you hear what he was telling us? We have to find more witnesses!' Then his face darkened. 'Please, oh please don't let it be her.' He whispered and hugged himself. 'I don't care if he gets away with it, just don't make it be her.' He rocked to and fro.  
'What's he talking about?' Chas looked at Rob for answers.  
'Aaron?' He shook him gently.  
No answer.  
'He's worried that he did it to his sister too.' Rob explained to his boyfriend's anxious mother.  
'What? Liv?' Chas clamped her hand over her mouth to smother a gasp as a look of horror swept across her features. 'No...Neither of us thought about her...He wouldn't!'  
'We don't know that.' Aaron finally came back to the present and wiped the tears away from his eyes. 'I don't think he did – I think it was just me, after all, 'I was his special little boy... the only one who could make him feel good'.  
'Jesus! I think I'm going to be sick.' Chas mumbled under her breath. She knew her son was just thinking aloud without actually thinking and that he hadn't really wanted her to hear that.  
'Sh...' Rob soothed. 'Sh..Come on. Why don't we all go over to the Woolpack for tea? My treat.'  
'Why? We've nothing to celebrate. I can't face them all...they all know by now...' Aaron was reluctant.  
'Which is exactly why we should go.' Chas replied. 'And you're paying', she told Rob.  
He smiled back with his typical easy charm. 'I was going to.'

….

Chas' cousin was working behind the bar when they filed in. There was the split second pause in the lively conversations going all around them and everyone glanced at them briefly before resuming.  
'See?' Chas whispered to her son. 'Not so bad, is it?'  
'Ain't it?' Aaron grumbled and pulled his hoodie up stubbornly.  
'No-one's even paying any attention to us.' She replied.  
'Hi ya, I'll have a double vodka and coke and they'll have what they want. That one's paying.' She jerked her thumb at Rob. She was about to walk away and claim their table and look at the food menu when Charity opened her mouth.  
'I'm so sorry, Aaron. Let's hope they put the bastard away for life.' She spoke in a low voice to him before he gave his order.  
'Fat chance of that.' He replied. 'Apparently there's not enough evidence.'  
She snorted in outrage. 'That's the great British justice system for you. Too busy chasing after decent folk with just enough weed on 'em for personal use and kids stealing a couple of sweets than real criminals like your sicko father. Don't worry, son, we got our own brand of justice around here. We don't need any useless pigs in uniform.'  
'That a threat?' Chas put in. 'Cain already tried his own brand of vigilante justice and we don't want any more trouble.'  
'Mum!'  
'Jus' saying. Stay out of it, Charity. Gordon'll get what's coming to him, one way or another. But it'll be LEGAL.'  
'What did he do to him?' Her eyes were wide with her hunger for fresh gossip.  
'Still, I'm sorry, Aaron and if you ever need anything – like something to cheer you up or make you feel less nervy, poor love, you just come and visit your Auntie Charity, OK?'  
'Er....thanks, Charity.' Rob grinned when Aaron didn't sound too convinced. Then they turned around with their drinks and took their seat at a table over at the far side of the pub.  
Nobody paid attention. Either people were being respectful and considerate by giving them space or they were already yesterday's news and therefore boring, even in this sweet hamlet in the middle of nowhere. Despite himself and his aunt's dubious offers of support, Aaron started to feel a little better. After all, nobody was treating him like he had two heads.  
But then silence did descend for real. Gordon had just walked in.  
'What the fuck...' Aaron hissed., half rising from his seat. 'He knows he's got to stay away from me, at least until the order runs out!'  
Yet his father ambled in, unperturbed to all the hostile glares and whispers.  
'I'd like a half of bitter, please.' He asked the barmaid politely when he got to the bar.  
'Are you taking the piss?' Charity's voice began to rise and the three of them grimaced.  
'Excuse me?'  
'You're not welcome here, pervert.' She whispered fiercely at him, signalling at him with her eyes.  
Gordon ignored her and pretended as if he had just spotted Aaron. 'Hey, son. How are you? Mind if I pull up a chair and join you?'  
'The police told you to stay away from me.'  
'Well – I don't have to anymore because it seems that they didn't believe your sick lies. I'm not blaming you, son. I know you have ...problems.' He smirked at him evilly and Aaron could just tell he was laughing at him. Threatening to tell the rest of the village – most of them who didn't know about his self-harming.  
'Get out'. His mother ordered his father in a cold, controlled voice after she took Aaron's hand in her own.  
Gordon's mouth twisted in an ugly sneer. 'I don't think I have to take orders from you anymore now that we're not married, sweetheart. We never made it to the altar the second time because of him, remember?' He spat out viciously.  
'You heard him. I don't know what you did but I don't like the look of you.' Now the first person who wasn't a member of his family was the first to stand up on his behalf. A big, burly local farmer whose name Aaron didn't remember. He looked around anxiously. No-one else from his family was here to witness his humiliation and he almost sighed with relief.  
Almost. But not quite.  
'You best get out before we throw you out.' Even Andy was joining in. Then they were all on their feet – the whole village, the whole community except for the three it concerned most on their table.  
'We don't want the likes of you around our children. Piss off, nonce!'  
Jackson had just come in and stared at Gordon as if he saw a ghost. 'Fucking bastard! I know what you did!' He ran at him but held back by a female friend.  
Aaron rolled his eyes.  
'No need for that.' Chastity put on her brightest smile and put down the glass she'd been cleaning on the bar-top. 'He knows when he's wanted and he's going to leave peacefully, ain't you, Gordon?'  
'Fine.' He glared around at the pub before his eyes settled on his son. Aaron met his gaze unflinchingly – after all he had his mother with him and more than that - his boyfriend's arm around him, silently promising him that he wouldn't let anything bad happen to him. He didn't feel afraid of his father, instead he felt fearless. Powerful, even like Gordon had become small before his eyes like Alice after her shrinking potion when he'd always had such godlike proportions in his child's mind's eye.  
And still had right up until recently, he reminded himself.  
'But just remember, I'm a free man. I've not been charged with anything – they let me go! And I have a right to go where I want to including this pub!' His eyes bore into his son's and Aaron was hard put not to look away.  
But he didn't.  
'Goodbye, Gordon.' He said with quiet dignity before he finally looked away.  
'Hear, hear!' Someone shouted.  
'Go on, get out! We don't want the likes of you in our pub!'  
'Better sleep with one eye open if you're going to insist on staying around here!' Someone else threatened.  
Aaron closed his eyes when he heard the door slam furiously shut behind his father. Afterwards, people carried on as if nothing had happened.  
'You did really well.' Jackson had joined them. 'But was that true what he was saying – that they've dropped all charges?'  
'Yeah.' He answered in exhaustion.  
'But why? Because it happened when you were just a little kid? That ain't fair! He can't get away with it!'  
'I don't want to talk about it.' Aaron replied. He was too tired to go into all the ins and outs of the case which was unlikely to ever go to court. His father had won and he just wanted to forget it.  
Only a few people close to him knew about the 'evidence' and the humiliation of getting it and he wanted it to stay that way. Now, all he wanted was to go home although he reasoned it was a reassuring that he had the whole village behind his back and supporting him.  
'I want to go.' He announced.  
'Oh, come on, mate. Stay for a bit and have a drink with me.' Jackson insisted.  
'And we haven't ordered any food yet.' Chas protested. 'Come on, son. The worst bit is over and you saw how everyone's on your side, not his.'  
'You three stay if you want. I ain't hungry anyway.'  
Rob and Chas looked at each other over the table. The terms of their uneasy truce didn't include eating alone in a pub together – everything they did was aimed at supporting Aaron and that was the one thing that bound them together.  
'No – actually I don't fancy anything on the menu tonight. How about we grab some chips with gravy on the way home?' Chas suggested.  
They nodded although Jackson looked a little disappointed before he turned to join the table with his friends, making Aaron feel a little sorry for him. 'Sorry, mate. Not tonight, eh? Another time, yeah?'  
Jackson brightened a little before he nodded. 'Just remember I'm here for you too. Whenever you need me.'  
'Thanks.'  
….

'Do you really think he'll stay?' Aaron asked his mother anxiously on their way back as they munched on their bag of chips. 'He's got nothing for him around here.'  
'If he don't, folk around here'll make his life a living hell.'  
Aaron nodded but wasn't totally convinced. He wouldn't put it past Gordon to dig his heels in just to torture him more before the villagers finally drove him out of town.  
'We don't have to give up! Look, we do want Harding said and we find a witness! Or more evidence. I promised to find your sister, didn't I?'  
'I'll get on the internet first thing tomorrow while you're at work. You can't let your business go down the drain because of that bastard.'  
'What about yours?'  
'Don't worry about me. Just a couple of roll-over projects that my associates can supervise. I told them that I need to take a break for a family emergency. They understand.'  
'I'm a family emergency?' Aaron repeated, baffled. 'Family...'? I'm...' The look of sweet - almost childish hope on his face was endearing.  
'Well, you're family, aren't you?' Chas butted in. 'Practically engaged, aren't you? Eh, Rob, how do you fancy me as your mother-in -law?' She was joking but also communicating him a silent message with her eyes as they turned to steel - Do this for him – I don't care how you do it and I don't want to know – and all's forgiven.  
Aaron beamed despite his fears as he hugged him, facing away from his mother.  
'I'll get him put away, I promise.' Rob told him while holding Chas's gaze. In fact, a plan was already forming in his his mind – a contingency plan if you will incase he couldn't find anything.  
Chas reached over to peck her son's boyfriend on the cheek. Make sure you do, she was telling him silently. However, 'Thank-you' were the only words to come out of her mouth as she beamed with renewed optimism.  
Rob could barely believe it – this tiger mum who used to hate his guts (with good reason, he might add) had silently promised to accept him if he held up his side of the bargain and even kissed him! 

Rob knew he'd do anything for Aaron, he knew that now. He'd die to keep him safe even if he never got to see the fruits of his sacrifice or to enjoy them. He'd never felt this way about someone else before – none of them even came close to what he felt for Aaron. He remembered him agonizing over whether what he is dad did to him had made him gay and Rob had wondered something similar after the attack that scarred him for life. However, he realised then that none of that mattered.  
Arm in arm with Aaron in the middle, they made their way back to a dark and silent house.  
Dark and silent because Cain hadn't come back – but had they really expected him to?  
...  
'You've got to stop this.' Chas said banging the mugs on the table to make them a nice cup of coffee when her brother rolled in at 4 am. She'd been unable to sleep, her initial good spirits fading away as cold reality began to set in. Could Rob really do it? And what had she been thinking of accepting him so easily, even growing to like him? Had he really changed? Did he really love her son or would he get bored and move onto someone else? Aaron was so fragile at the moment that he wouldn't be able to take it if Rob betrayed him again? Could she really trust him not to hurt her son when he was at his most vulnerable?

'Stop what? I can do what I want – this is my house! And I'm not drunk!' She came out of her merry-go-round of worrying thoughts, summoned back to the present by her indignant brother.  
She looked at his face. His scruffy beard when he was usually so meticulous about his appearance and red eyes and he stank of booze and stale cigarette smoke. If she didn't know any better, she would have thought he'd been crying as well as getting drunk.  
But she'd never seen her brother cry – not once even when they were kids. Maybe he was incapable.  
'You look like shit!' She lashed out at him, Aaron's words and his hurt at Cain's treatment of him coming back to her when she saw him.  
'Why, thank-you. And you look like the precious flower you always resemble at 4 o'clock in the morning.' He snapped back sarcastically.  
'Keep your voice down, the boys are in bed!'  
'Yeah? And what do you think they're doing with each other, eh? Sleeping?'  
'Don't be lewd.' She snapped as the water started to boil.  
He sniggered at that.  
'What the hell's wrong with you?'  
He fell silent and got a far-away expression in his eyes as the real answer hung heavy between them.  
'You want to know? This is my house and I thought you'd all be gone by now! None of you are even paying rent or contributing to the bills.' He complained. 'You all got your own places. I'm surrounded by free-loading parasites!' His voice started to get louder again.  
'I said 'Keep it down!' - they'll hear you!'  
'Good. So maybe they move out and I can get my life back!' He retorted pointedly, looking up at the ceiling.  
'You don't really mean that.'  
'Don't I?' He challenged her, his eyes – slate-grey now – merciless. Before he dropped them.  
'You know why he doesn't want to go back to his. Remember what happened to him there?'  
He fell silent again and she couldn't read his eyes. But she saw him fingers gripping the sides of the plain white mug of steaming coffee she had just handed to him so that they were almost the same colour.  
'Do you even care?'  
'Of course I do!' His voice rose again. 'I was going to kill his sick fuck father for him – for all of us - before I got so rudely interrupted, remember?'  
'Don't shout! That's just great – you murder Gordon and then you most likely die in prison before you get out and where would that leave Aaron, eh?'  
'He doesn't need me. He's got you, Rob, Paddy and loads of other people around him...'  
'You're wrong. He does need you. He needs his uncle, Cain. I just thought you might be interested to know that they're not accepting the video as evidence.'  
'What? No...'  
'Yes.'  
'Why?'  
'Wouldn't say. Some rubbish about a possible damaged file or something.'  
'Fuck!' He hissed as he slammed the table. 'So that means Gordon's got away with it?'  
'Yeah. And swanning around and rubbing our noses in it every chance he gets. Imagine how Aaron feels.'  
'That fuckin'....How's he copin'?'  
'Well, that's the first time you've thought to ask about him in – let me just check my diary – (she made to flick some pages in mid-air) in over a week. You know he didn't want to celebrate his 21st! He said that he didn't have anything to celebrate. His 21st! You know – the one that means you're a real grown-up. When your life's just beginning and you're supposed to be all full of hope for the future. Instead, he's trying to take his evil father to court because Gordon even took that away from him as well as his childhood. And we all had to respect his wishes because God knows – he's had enough of no-one listening to him or to what he wants and...'

'I'm sorry.' Cain was staring into his coffee as if hoping it would tell him how to take his nephew's pain away other than removing the offender permanently.  
'And you don't help. Don't you think he's noticed?'  
'Noticed what?' He snapped his head up sharply at his sister's accusatory tone of voice.  
'You can't stand being around him. You make every excuse to be out of the house. He's really upset, Cain.'  
'That's because it's full of all these people! It's not even mine anymore.'  
'That's not the real reason and you know it.'  
He sighed as he took his first sip of coffee. As he drank more of it, he gradually sobered up.  
'I'll talk to him.'

But it was a couple of days later when Cain finally got the courage to go and talk to his nephew.

 

Most people had come up to Aaron by now, saying more or less the same thing - everyone thought they had to put in their penny in and tell him the obvious - that none of it was his fault, implying that he wasn't bad but a good and Aaron had smiled and nodded, pretending he deep-down believed them. Or worst of all – cliches like 'What goes around, comes around' , or don't worry, they'll find more evidence to put him away for good and 'at least it's out in the open now, he can't show his face' so on until he felt like he was going crazy. But he stood there, grinned and bore it.  
Instead, he hated all the attention and the looks of pity and wished that they would all leave him alone. Because they could never understand how his father had made him feel, not unless it had happened to them first. And he wouldn't wish what his father did to him on his worst enemy.  
Aaron was tinkering on a car-engine in the scrapyard and whirled around at the sound of footsteps crunching in the asphalt behind him with his fists raised, ready to fight. Fearing to worst – that it was his father come to mess with him again but Aaron didn't think even Gordon would be that reckless.Fearing to worst – that it was his father come to threaten him again but Aaron didn't think even Gordon would be that reckless. Not after the villagers' threats but he heard he was still around by lying low in his B&B. Not that that made him feel any better.  
However, it was probably his least favourite person at the moment next to his father standing before him. The mechanic and scrap-collector quickly hid his surprise and glared at the older man.  
‘What the hell you doing here?’  
‘I came because I heard what happened down at the police station.’ The intruder replied. 'That they're dropping the case and I wanted to check on you.'  
‘Oh – he speaks!’ Aaron bit back with heavy sarcasm. 'You haven't been able to look me in the face since you found out. I'd come into the same room as you and you’d get up straightaway to leave.’ With that, Aaron dismissed his uncle with a bitter little smile and showed him his back to resume his work on the car. ‘And you can do the same right now. Bye.’ He told him without turning back round.  
‘Aaron…Chas told me they wouldn't accept your video as evidence and then wouldn't even give you a reason.’ Cain infuriatingly refused to go.  
'Why do you care now?' He was still apparently focused on his work on the old car engine.  
'Because I love you, silly.' Aaron's eyes widened when he felt Cain's hand brush through his hair from behind as if to lend credence to his words. He could tell himself later that he imagined it. Must have. Because Cain didn't do things like that.  
He wheeled round to face him. 'No, you don't. When you tried to kill him, I saw it in your eyes...You were fuckin' enjoying it. Made you feel powerful, did it?'  
'Yeah, maybe but I did it all for you.'  
'No, you didn't. You did it for yourself! Did it make you feel like a big man again, Uncle? ‘Cos I bet you miss doing those jobs and I was just a convenient excuse and you never gave a shit about me, did you?' He eye-balled the older man mercilessly with eyes of blue ice. 'Fuckin' admit it!'  
Cain winced and drew back to put more space between them. More tellingly, he was the first to back down from the staring contest and lower his eyes. He couldn't deny that his nephew’s accusations hit the same raw nerve just as his father’s had. Because it was all true. He'd failed to notice anything wrong. Never asked what was wrong or if Aaron was happy living with his father and stepmother. If they were treating him right. Even if he was OK.  
Aaron also saw the truth in his eyes when he failed to answer. ‘You've been acting funny around me since you knew because you're disgusted with me, aren't you?'  
'Aaron, no...'  
'You think about me with him and all the things he made me do…’ To his horror, his voice was cracking and his damn eyes were leaking and in front of Cain of all people. He sniffed and looked away wishing he wasn't backed up against the car and could escape without looking like he was running away.  
‘You're right, I don't see you the same way.’ He heard his uncle admit simply.  
‘I knew it!’ Aaron yelled in rage as his suspicions were confirmed. 'Well, you can get out right now!'  
'I don't see you the same way.' Cain insisted quietly. 'You were just a little kid going through all that on your own and you survived. Don't think I would have done in your shoes. More than that - you've built your own life and your own business and still turned out to be a decent human-being. Nothing like him.' He spat.  
Aaron stared up at him, his mouth falling open in a large 'O'. Cain rarely praised him – rarely had a good word to say about anyone and here he was practically gushing compliments at him. At him! Of all people. And he was disgusting, weak and bad, that omnipresent little voice whispered to him.  
'You're so strong. So brave for standing up to him.' Cain contradicted it.  
‘Stop bullshitting me! I'm not. You're only saying those things because you feel guilty.'  
'Well I do – I mean feel guilty - but that's not the reason I’ve been avoiding you. It's because I'm disgusted with myself! For not seeing – not being there for you. Letting that piece of filth put his hands all over you and not lifting a finger to stop it…’ His uncle was not the most articulate of people and Cain could see him struggling to get his words out. To express exactly what he meant in order to convince Aaron and something about that began to soften him towards his uncle.  
‘Don't be. Mum didn't know either. Anyway, he threatened me to keep quiet and I was a good actor.’ He bowed his head as he shakily added, ‘Guess I had plenty of practice.’ He added sadly.  
'Believe me – you are. Don't let him win just because there's no evidence.'  
‘But he has! And he's not going anywhere which means I'll probably have to. Even if everyone around here hates him – you don't know how stubborn he is. Besides, do I look fuckin’ brave to you?’  
Aaron had broken down by now because their initial optimism for finding more witnesses or his sister had faded as Rob's trails had run dry and then having his uncle storm into his workplace and acting so weird and out of character had stripped him of what little control over his emotions he had. For Aaron lately, tears were always near the surface, ready to spill over at the slightest provocation.  
‘I hurt myself, tried to commit suicide more times I can count and they say that's the coward's way out.' He sobbed. 'What's so brave about that?'  
Cain moved closer to him cautiously. 'Sh...You only did that because of him. Because he hurt you. Doesn't mean you're weak.'  
‘He'll never leave here even if he ain't got my mum or the pub and even if I do – he'll come after me again one day when I'm not prepared for him, I know he will! I'll never be safe from him – especially not after this!'  
Aaron could clearly hear the note of hysteria rising in his voice and he regretted the words as soon as they left his mouth - he'd shown his fear and weakness now a days was still half- expecting Cain to slap some sense into him. Tell him to man-up like he would have done before he found out about his ‘mentally ill’ nephew’s self -harming among other things. But his uncle didn't do any of that.  
'No, he won't.' Cain declared in that soft voice he had used on him in the days after he found out. Just before he started ignoring him. 'Cos he'll have to go through me first. And your mum, Rob, Paddy and anyone else who cares about you in this village. Which is all of them.'  
'But he's won!'  
'No, you have! Don't you see? Because he thought he was going to get away with it and live happily ever after with your mother. But he can't and everybody knows what he did, what he is…and they're all behind you 100%, Aaron. He won't be able to stay here, whatever he thinks and wherever he goes now if he has an ounce of sense, it'll follow him around like a bad smell. Gordon’s life is over. He’ll get no decent job, no new friends.’  
'But Rob's trying to find another witness, another boy he might have abused too...' Aaron hadn't had the heart to tell him now that reality had set back in that he probably wouldn't find one because he was pretty sure that he'd been the only one.  
‘Then tell him to stop because that's why I came here. To tell you to drop the case and not look for any more witnesses and forget about what your mum and Rob want - it's not their decision to make! Look at the state of you - the stress is making you hurt yourself again.'  
Damn, Aaron thought. How did Cain know? Even Rob hadn't noticed – the injuries that Aaron passed off as minor 'accidents' from work. The ones he used girls' make-up to disguise. Apparently he wasn't fooling anybody, especially his so-called 'nearest and dearest.' He looked up at uncle with hopeful eyes that were swimming with tears, so badly wanting to believe it was true. To stop fighting would be a huge relief. But he still neither agreed nor disagreed. He needed more time to think about it.  
'I know you're hurting yourself again.' His uncle repeated gently. 'I don't even have to see where to know.'  
'How?'  
‘Just like I know what he said to to you. Let me guess how he justified doing to you what he did. Did he tell you you were bad, eh? That why he did it?’  
Now his uncle’s hand was back and undeniably soothing his hair. It felt like when his mum had done it after he told her and Aaron didn't mind. It felt comforting, in fact, as he was taken back again at the hard man’s uncanny powers of perception. How did Cain know what his father had repeatedly told him during and after the many times he abused him.  
‘How did you know about that…?’ He breathed. Aaron knew that nobody who knew would have told his uncle about that. That was a secret. Cain wouldn't have asked anyway and definitely wouldn't have waited to listen to the answer. He couldn't bear it.  
Cain decided not to go into the stories from other inmates with fathers exactly like Gordon. Most of them had a similar modus operandi and knowing the slimeball, he could guess what his brother -in -law had done and said to keep Aaron in-line.  
And most importantly – silent.  
But those tales wouldn't do his nephew any good to hear, not right now.  
‘Did he call you a bad boy and that if you didn't do exactly what he told you to in future, he'd do it again?’ His uncle’s voice was softer than ever which before would have meant he was about to explode but not this time as he gently encouraged him to open up to him.  
‘Yes…’ Aaron sobbed. ‘Yeah…Yeah…He did.’  
'Did he call you a bad boy? He made you believe you were bad, didn't he?'  
'Yeah...'  
'He told you you were so often...'  
Aaron nodded again.  
But he still did it anyway, didn't he? Still punished you because even though you tried really hard to be good, it was never enough, was it?'  
'How do you know?' Aaron repeated for the millionth time, his voice cracking but full of wonder. 'How do you know? They wouldn't have told you...'  
'You could have done everything he said – been the perfect son and it would still have never been enough. Because he did it because he wanted to . Because he could. Because in some sick way, he was addicted to it. He couldn't stop, couldn't help himself. Do you understand that now?’ Aaron did understand but he didn't necessarily believe it – hadn't – not really - when his mother and boyfriend told him. But he knew his stern uncle would never lie. He'd always given him the truth and brutally if need be.  
To be cruel to be kind was Cain Dingle's lifelong motto.  
And the brutal truth was what Aaron needed now, no matter how much it hurt.  
'Look at me.' His uncle's tone was still gentle. 'Do you believe me now?'  
Aaron nodded before he launched himself forward to fist his uncle’s shirt. As if this gave him permission, Cain drew him close and wrapped both arms around him.  
‘Shh…I meant it when I said that I love you. I've always loved you like you were my own. You're Chas’ and that makes you mine. Kith and kin. Blood. I love you as much as I love Debbie and her kids - that's why I would have killed him for you. Would have done exactly the same if anyone tried to hurt them.'  
‘I know you would.' Aaron shivered, remembering seeing his father tied up , covered in blood and groggy from the pills and whisky his uncle had forced down his throat.  
‘Because you're mine.' Aaron felt his uncle tighten his arms around him.  
His father had said the exact same words to him but they weren't creepy coming from Cain. Of course, they didn't have the same connotations. The fleeting thought flitted through his that how nice it was to belong to another man who shared his blood.  
Aaron rested his chin on his uncle’s shoulder and let go when Cain held him tight and started whispering to him that he'd beaten Gordon already, didn't have to put himself through any more, he could let go if he wanted. His uncle told him over and over again how good he was, how strong he was and that none of it was his fault.  
Aaron could never have imagined his uncle saying those things to him – not in a million years. 

When his stern uncle who he thought didn't care – not really - held him and whispered to him over and over again that he wasn't bad, was never bad, that he didn't have to hurt himself anymore because of what his father did to him because none of it was his fault - not his, Aaron for the first time deep-down believed it.


	24. Uncle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's been so long – I got sick and now I'm on vacation. Hope you're enjoying the summer wherever you are x  
> Aaron and the people who care about him are still reeling from the news that apparently, Gordon is going to walk scot-free because of lack of admissible evidence unless they can find it. But Aaron is exhausted – does he want to pursue the case after hearing Cain's advice? It looks like he and Aaron have made up in any case and that can only be good. Aaron and Rob are also getting closer after starting their relationship again and this time, they want to do it right but will Gordon ruin this?
> 
> Enjoy! Please give kudos and/or comment if you like the story. It would make the author very happy!

***  
Aaron eventually got hold of his emotions and pulled himself free of his uncle's arms.  
'Will you be allright now?' Cain frowned worriedly and asked, only realising how stupid that question was after the words left his mouth.  
But Aaron didn't seem to even notice. 'Yeah. I'll be fine. Just can't believe I just broke down like that.' He sniffed. In front of you, of all people, his uncle heard what he wasn't saying.  
'And I can't believe you don't do it more often.'  
Aaron grimaced because his uncle didn't know that he did it practically every day since his father had returned and bringing all the memories of him that he fought so hard to forget.  
'Shall we go home now?'  
'I can't. Got to finish this.' Aaron turned back to the car.  
'You sure you're in a fit state?'  
'I ain't made of glass, you know!' Aaron suddenly snapped and then at the other man's expression, he added, 'Sorry. Guess I'm fed-up of everyone treating me like I'm going to shatter into little tiny pieces any moment.'  
'That's funny because no-one could accuse me of treating you like that in the past.'  
'I know.'  
'I was hard on you. But then I didn't know...'  
'I don't blame you. I was a right handful...all the trouble I gave you and mum and Paddy when I moved here...'  
'Difference is now, we know why.'

'Well, I best be getting on. I'll see you later at home.' Aaron started to go back to work.  
'No, you don't...' Cain grabbed his arm to stop him before he could. ' No-one could blame you if you take a day off.'  
'But the owner's coming for it at the end of the day...'  
'Sod him.' Cain pulled him away. 'Come on, let's lock up.'  
''Spose he can wait.'  
'He'll have to.' His tone let Aaron know that he wouldn't be swayed and after making sure everything was in order and secure, they left. They walked back in silence until they came into sight of the house. As soon as they did - Aaron threw himself into his uncle's arms again as if needing the extra reassurance before he went back in.

'Now remember what I told you, you don't have to go through with it. Not if it's going to stress you out too much...' Cain patted his back.  
'Of course it's going to be stress me out, not much I can do about it. Rob's talking about finding my sister and asking if dad did anything to her, I can't...I can't let him down!' Aaron protested.

He heard his uncle draw in a sharp breath. Apparently Cain hadn't considered that possibility. 'Liv? No...you don't think...'  
Aaron shook his head. 'I think I was the only one but what if he did? And I left her in that house with him!'  
'Sh...Don't blame yourself...See what this is all doing to you? I think you should stop. Forget trying to find evidence.'  
'But mum and Rob don't want me to give up! And what if he's hurt other kids including my sister? He needs to pay for them even if he doesn't for me.'  
'It's not about them – it happened to you! Don't let Chas and Rob make you do anything you don't want to. I said let it go.'  
'Maybe...' Aaron didn't sound convinced. 'I need to think about it...'  
'Up to you but I'm here for you whatever you decide.'  
'Thanks - for everything.'

***

Meanwhile, something made Chas look outside and saw them together. 'I don't believe it...' She breathed, sensing that they were having an intense conversation. No guesses what about.

She watched pull them part – Aaron pulling away first and turned away to focus on peeling the potatoes for their tea before they came in.

'Well, you look much perkier.' She smiled at her brother as he tramped in and examined her son's face closely but his red eyes told her he'd been crying and she realised that must be why her brother had been comforting him. Of course he had, now he knows his father will get away with it. And him swaggering into the Woolpack acting like everything was normal on top...  
'Mum!' He squirmed away, uncomfortable with such intense scrutiny.  
'What have you two been up to?'  
'We just had a little man-to- man talk, didn't we?' Cain answered for him.  
'Um...yeah.'  
'Well, I'm glad you two have finally made up. I tell you, don't think I could have put up with the atmosphere in this house for much longer.'

Just then Rob came in for his lunch break and took a double-take when he saw all three of them standing in the same room together.  
'What's going on?' He immediately went over to his boyfriend. 'Aaron?  
'Him and Cain had a heart-to-heart just now.'  
'You been cryin'?' Rob looked into his eyes and stroked his cheek in concern.  
Aaron rolled his eyes and jerked away.  
'What the hell did you say to him to make him cry?' Robert demanded, looking at the hard man suspiciously. 'You blank him for days and now I'm supposed to believe everything's hunky-dory between you?'

'Careful, lad.' Cain growled in warning. 'You been leaving here for free off the land just because he says he needs you but that can all change in a heartbeat.'  
'Yeah, Rob leave it.' Chas warned.'You don't understand. They've made up, haven't you?' She nodded at her son and her brother.  
'But...' The tall man trailed off, intimidated by the older Dingle's glare.  
'Mum's right. It's all sorted now.' Aaron pitched in, trying to smooth things over and stop Rob making a big mistake. The last time he needed was for Cain to chuck Rob out. He wasn't ready to go back to his own place – it was too full of bad memories and he didn't feel safe there. And he need ed his boyfriend with him.

 

Cain clenched his fists. 'We had a talk, that's all.'  
'That's right, Rob. We've sorted things out...we're fine now.' Aaron pitched in to defend his uncle before he followed his boyfriend up the stairs.  
'You've done it now.' Chas reprimanded.  
'Done what?' Cain bit back, his voice bitter. 

...

Meanwhile, later upstairs on 'their' bed, Aaron shook his head sadly against his boyfriend's chest.  
'You shouldn't have done that. Accused him. You don't know what he was like before...he was nice.'  
'Then why was he ignoring you, acting like you were the one who should be ashamed?'  
'That weren't it, I keep telling you. I mean he did but he didn't say anything wrong just now. He said...he said that he loved me.'  
'Cain said he loved you?' Rob scoffed. 'Him? You expect me to believe that?'  
'Yeah. And he does. I know that deep-down he does. He also told me it wasn't my fault. That I wasn't bad.'  
'Yeah – but you knew that already.'

'Yeah I know but I don't think I ever really believed it even though it's all anyone ever said to me. And Cain knew, Rob, he knew what Gordon used to say to me when he was...abusing me. How he threatened me if I didn't behave and I did but then he did it to me anyway. Cain made me realise that nothing I could have done would have stopped my father...it was like he had some kind of sick obsession with me.'

'Still has.' Rob muttered under his breath. 'I could have told you that. Does that make him a shrink now? Anyone who's met Gordon or heard the way he speaks to you would put two and two together and realised why you hurt yourself. Because your father made you feel worthless. Just pop-pyschology, that's all.'  
'No- but he knew the details. Exactly how he was with me...The sick stuff he said to me...' Aaron's voice was cracking and Rob soothed his hair.  
'Maybe. But why he been ignoring you, then? When you needed him the most?'

'Because he didn't know what else to do other than make sure Gordon didn't hurt me again'.  
'By forcing him to commit suicide, you mean.'  
Aaron nodded, admitting it. 'He did it because he hurt me and was still hurting me and he just wanted to make him stop. Make him disappear if he had to. You can understand him wanting to, can't you?'  
'I get that...was tempted to do the same myself.' 

Aaron nodded. 'So you understand. Then afterwards, Cain just didn't know how to act around me.'  
'Really?' Rob looked unconvinced. 'I thought he just didn't give a shit – was pissed off that you ruined his fun – when you wouldn't let him kill Gordon.'  
'He admitted that he felt guilty because he never noticed anything wrong, just like I know Mum does. That he felt responsible for not doing anything about it.'  
'Aaron – you remember what he was like...How he ignored you. He doesn't care about you, he's a psycho!'

'You don't know everything.' Aaron's eyes grew faraway as he remembered the steaming mugs of hot chocolate with melting marshmallows on top when he was a boy or his uncle's hand ruffling his hair. Or whirling him round and round by the wrists, fast enough to make him scream in delight. And just today, Cain's arms around him or one hand stroking his hair, whispering that he wasn't bad, not him, never him. He wasn't a 'bad' boy, just a very hurt one but he was going to get better. Heal. Gordon was going to be forced to leave Emmerdale even if he was never charged and then he would have the good life he deserved, now that he wasn't carrying that heavy burden by himself. He was going to be surrounded by people who loved and cared about him and who knew his terrible secret.  
Aaron smiled gently because when his uncle had said that, he had felt a great weight lift off him. Rob started to get anxious and shook him gently out of his reverie.

'I said you don't know him. I want you to say sorry.' Aaron was firm.  
'Why?'`  
'Because he's family and he cares about me. And if you want to be with me, you have to get on with my family. Got it?'  
'Fine. But maybe he won't believe me.'  
'He will.'  
…..  
'Let the boy speak, Cain.' Chas told him.  
'I'm sorry that I said those things to you.'  
'You accused me of hurting him!'  
'Cain...' Chas tried to calm things down.  
'You ever disrespect me under my own roof again, you can get out!'  
'I said I'm sorry. I got the wrong idea...'  
'You were acting funny with him, Cain.' Chas chipped in.  
'Fine. But you even so much as look at me in a way I don't like and you'll be out on your ear. I mean it! I'm only doing this for you, boy!' Cain directed a blazing look towards his nephew.

'If it helps, I can pay my way.' Rob offered but was met with a contemptuous look of disdain by the Dingle.  
'You fancy types with money are all the same, ain't ye? You think I'm that skint or mean that I can't take care of my own?'  
'I didn't mean...' Rob flushed. 'Of course you can.'  
'Cain...he's offering to help out. Why you being like that?' Chas intervened and then lowered her voice to hiss in his ear, 'What are you doing? We could do with the money'.

'Because he thinks he can just buy his way out of anything. No. If you're helping Aaron get through this, I won't take a penny.'  
'Thanks.' Aaron and Rob breathed at the same time.  
'I won't make you regret it, promise.' Rob blurted out.  
'You better not let him down.'  
…  
Things were more or less peaceful in the house when Aaron turned to Rob the next morning after he brought him breakfast in bed.  
'Rob, I forgot to ask...do you know where my sister lives? Or have you found another witness?'  
'Not yet. I tried to do it when I had time but …'  
'That's OK. I still have to ask Liv if Gordon did anything to her but if you don't find another witness by next week, I want to give up on the case.'  
'Why? This is his doing, isn't it? What did he say to you?'  
'He told me to give up on the case. See – these weren't 'accidents at work'.' Aaron pulled up his sleeves to show the cuts.  
'Oh baby...' Rob crooned before his voice turned angry. 'Why didn't you tell me that you were cutting again? No secrets between us again, remember?'  
'Because you and mum want me to carry on with the trial and I don't think I can.'  
'I didn't realise – I would never make you do anything you didn't want to...you got to believe me!'

'Luckily, Aaron's phone rang and his smiled when he saw who it was. He picked it up. It was his real Dad.  
'Hi, Paddy. How's Germany?'  
'Fine. It went well – should be home tomorrow evening. I'm sorry I left like that...Are you OK? What's happening?''  
Aaron forced more brightness into his voice than he actually felt. 'Don't worry about it.'  
But Paddy smelled an evasion. 'Have you seen your da – I mean Gordon – lately?' He fished for information.  
'I'll tell you about it when I see you. It's ...complicated.'  
'Then I'll come round as soon as I can and see you and your Mum. As long as he hasn't upset you again.'  
'Upset? If you only knew.' Aaron thought to himself.  
'No – he's staying away from me. Don't worry.' Aaron felt relieved that he could be honest about that part. He heard the vet sigh with relief.  
'Rob behaving himself?'  
'Of course. We're all staying at Cain's actually.  
'Why?'  
'It's...more...comfortable.' He finished awkwardly.  
'Uh...OK.'  
Aaron could tell that the older man was not convinced but he was going to wait until they met.  
'Good. Listen – I've got some news of my own to tell you. When we're all together.' His stepfather sounded excited.  
Aaron wondered what that could be. Probably he'd met a woman over there. 'Can't wait. Have a nice flight.'

The vet had gone there on a business trip a few days ago. He was going to cancel it until his stepson persuaded him not to. Paddy was worried that Aaron needed his support but he still didn't know the goings on after he'd seen him the last time and Aaron had insisted on Chas keeping him in the dark – not wanting to to spoil his prospects in his business deal. He knew that if he knew that he'd been right about Gordon all along, he would drop everything to come back but Aaron felt like he had enough people fussing around him now. Too many in fact. It was like living in a goldfish bowl. Sometimes he wished that he and Rob could grab their bags and leave – at least for a while. But his mother was also having a hard time dealing with the revelations even if she put a brave face on things and the mask was wearing thin by the day as the cracks of strain began to show.  
Aaron nodded as he listened and meanwhile he felt a mixture of happiness at seeing his stepfather again and dread at telling him the truth and admitting that he'd lied.

Yet he knew his father wouldn't try and get at him again even if the restraining order had been dropped because he'd finally had the courage to fight back back – maybe for the first time in his life and now he had stood up to him even if it didn't get him to court. Still, Aaron had heard now that everywhere Gordon went in the village, he was refused service. His son didn't know why he didn't just give up and leave – he had a feeling that he was just hanging around to punish him – torture him more.  
Gordon had always been stubborn until he got his own way.  
…


	25. Ghosts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm on a roll! Got some free time at last so I wanted to put down this next chapter in my head. I hope you like it and if you do – please leave kudos and/or a comment! I would love to have any feedback!

***  
It was a couple of days later after fruitless searching for evidence or Aaron's sister who had just seemed to disappear along with his stepmother into thin air. The couple did their best to just get on with things – work – shopping - cooking for Chas and Cain in an attempt to move on even though Gordon was still lurking around in the village without a shred of shame. Aaron would pointedly ignore him and his father for his part, respected his space and left him alone. If they bumped into each other, one of them would cross the side of the street.

Aaron tried not to care how thin his already scrawny father was getting or how old he looked. Like he'd aged 10 years in as many days. 

It was Chas who caused trouble, trying to drive him away. Cain was sensibly staying away from him.

'What you still doing here, eh? Ain't nothin' here for you anymore and everyone knows what you are so why don't you just slither away and die somewhere else?'  
'You'd like that wouldn't you?'  
'Yes, if it means you can't hurt Aaron any more.' She replied frankly without an ounce of compassion.  
He flinched. 'I'm doing what you all wanted. I'm staying away from him. What more can I do?'  
'What – around here? You think that's good enough?' She got up into his face, eyes fearless. 'There ain't one place on this earth that's far away enough from him and I'm praying that the cancer finally kills you. We all are.'  
'Even Aaron?' His voice grew small and his lower lip quivered. Now he was looking less like the monster she knew him to be, especially as he had grown frailer.  
'Especially him.' She couldn't resist twisting the knife and grinned.  
To her immense surprise, she watched his eyes tear up before he wiped his eyes furiously with his hand and she felt a tiny twinge despite everything. After all, they had been a family once and she had loved him. She looked down at the ground so he wouldn't see her emotion.  
'You fucking heartless bitch. You all poisoned him against me!' He blurted out but backed off when she continued to advance on him mercilessly.  
'If I really was a 'heartless bitch', I would have let him finish you off.'  
He grew pale then broke eye-contact as he scurried away. 

***

'This can't go on.' Cain clenched his fists in rage when she told him. 'He's torturing him just by being here!' He slammed the dirty glass he was holding onto the counter.  
'Cain...Don't you...'  
'Don't worry.' He turned his back as he went back to the dishes. 'I ain't gonna do anythin' stupid.' Doesn't mean that there aren't other ways to get rid of him though, he thought to himself with a little savage smile.

After that exchange, Gordon did not even acknowledge her presence yet he must have known his days in Emmerdale were numbered. Practically every day he stepped out of his B&B, he received verbal abuse from the villagers. It was a miracle that the old lady still served him in the village shop so at least he could get the basic necessities but then maybe she didn't realise. Shouts of 'Nonce' and 'Paedos not welcome here' and even 'Ain't you dead yet, perve?'.

When a bag of dogshit arrived through the letterbox on the door, his landlady gave him a month's notice.  
'And that's pretty generous of me considering...(she looked at him with an expression of distaste twisting her lips) the reputation of this establishment that I have to maintain.' Her former bustling cheery friendliness verging on flirtiness (not least because he was helping her out of a tight spot financially by staying there for weeks on end) had all but disappeared. Even Mrs Tilsey, a blonde and slightly hefty woman, (whose middle-aged husband had left her for a twenty something year old leaving her to survive on her meagre state pension and the (mostly) seasonal income from the B & B) could no longer stomach his presence under her roof. He made her feel dirty, polluted somehow and the dog mess had been the final straw.  
'I wasn't charged, remember?' He couldn't help retorting, 'I'm INNOCENT!'  
'Well, I don't want to get into all that but I would appreciate it if you could be out of here ASAP.' She eyed him coldly like he had just crawled out from under a rock. 'Anyway, surely you don't want to stick around here?'.

Of course he kept this quiet and still dug his heels in and stayed. Aaron announced that he couldn't stand it – seeing his father on the street practically every day and that he wanted them to go away for a while – anywhere, he didn't care- but somehow Rob persuaded him to hang on a little longer. Just until they found Liv or another witness came forward.  
Aaron frowned, unconvinced.  
'You're not going to let him win, are you? He already thinks he has.'  
'Fuck'im!' He growled back, fists clenched at his sides. 'He needs to pay...and if he's touched my little sister...'  
'We'll find out about that, I promise. But we have to stay a little longer. This isn't a good time for me to leave my business or you yours, OK? Just let me find keep working on the case.'

A lot of the villagers were doing their best to help him out, cooked meals in oven dishes like cottage pie or toad-in-the-hole and cakes would sometimes appear on Cain's doorstep and they never knew who it was. He suddenly had a lot more customers – some even as far afield as Hotton. So far the police had managed to keep them out of the media but word spread around. 

When they asked around about the donated food, the villagers would deny it was them so they would just leave the empty dishes out in the morning. Aaron did his best to try and catch the person (or people) by watching the path from the window but he never did find out. He had a few suspicions - the local cafe owner for one – the taste was similar to Sam Cutler's menu. 

'Must be a good fairy.' They laughed. 'That or an elf.'  
Aaron smiled. 'Well, whoever it is, thanks a lot!'  
When he left, he felt something warm spreading through his chest. He had friends – some he didn't even know about and his father had none. Was hated and all alone. He told himself that was justice of some sort.

***  
Things were getting hot and heavy between them and Rob knew that – just knew that Aaron was going to let the go the whole way this time when he ruined it. He'd found Aaron standing outside in the chilly early March rain in only his jeans and T-shirt, letting himself get soaked as he stared down vacantly into the sluggish stream – more like a brook - until the Spring rains came. Rob didn't know it but Aaron had been standing on the same bridge from which his uncle had contemplated how to deal with Aaron’s abusive father. Rob honestly hadn't been expecting full-on sex after Aaron turned round at the sound of his voice and threw himself at him. Like he was a raft in a stormy sea that he was clinging to for dear life.

But when they got back to the house, that all changed. Cain and Chas were out so Aaron seemed determined to seize on the opportunity.  
He'd seemed eager at first anyway.  
Rob told himself that he had let his boyfriend make the first move. By pushing him onto the sofa and tearing at his clothes as they petted each other heavily.  
Rob had grinned. ‘Are you sure about this?’ He felt he had to ask.  
Aaron had glared and snorted. ‘'Course.’  
'Upstairs.' They raced each other into the bedroom.  
‘Then let’s get you out of those wet things first. Take 'em off.’ Was all Rob had said before he went to help Aaron with his T-shirt.

That was when it happened. Aaron immediately froze and drew back. ‘No.’He gasped and shook his head. ‘No…NO!’ And when Rob reached for him, he shrank back and curled into a ball on their bed. 

Rob could tell that he wasn't seeing him when he cowered away from him.

‘What did I say? Did I do something wrong?’ His boyfriend hovered anxiously over him, not sure if he should touch or what he could say to take away his fear.  
Aaron shook his head and Rob cursed himself as he hit his forehead with his first.  
‘God, I’m a idiot!’ He remembered his boyfriend telling him what his father used to say to him often right before he abused him. ‘I didn’t think…’

Aaron blinked and came back to himself. ’It’s not your fault. It just made me remember when…when I hid in the wardrobe. It hurt so much that day…’ He shuddered.  
‘Oh baby…Told you already that you don’t have to be scared of him anymore.’  
‘Don't I? He’s still running free and no doubt wants to make me pay.’  
‘He wouldn't dare…not after last time you fought him off and everyone knows…’  
‘Wouldn’t he?’ Aaron sighed tiredly. ‘Just sick of being triggered all the time. Over innocent things people say or do…I want us to have sex like a normal couple without losing it all the time!'  
'When we were together before…it never happened. You never…’ Rob was bitterly disappointed and he felt like a selfish bastard for feeling like that as he did his best to keep the reproach out of his voice. Hating himself for it but unable to stop his words, he added: 'I could never guess something like that had happened to you! You didn't show any of the signs...You were just a bit lairy but well – normal.'

'You saying I ain't normal?' He bristled, reminding Rob of Cain just then.  
He went red and shook his head. 'Sorry, wrong choice of words. What I meant was...  
'I used to like fucking and being fucked? That it?' Aaron was starting to get angry.  
'No – I mean yes – why do you have a problem with sex now?'  
'Because I never let myself remember! What – you got a problem with it? Sorry I disappoint you. Better finish things now before you waste any more of your precious time with damaged goods.' He snorted and crossed his arms over his chest and turned away from him.  
'No... Aaron... Baby. I didn't mean it like that. I can wait as long as it takes. I don't care about any of that.'  
'Really?' He still looked a little sceptical but seemed reassured by his words. 'I think I even convinced myself that it never happened until he walked straight back into my life, bold as brass!’  
‘Shh… Of course you did, of course you did…You did what you had to in order to survive…’ Rob reached out slowly and touched his arm tentatively, recalling all the times he had told his lover that it didn't matter whether they had sex or not.

It was a lie but Rob would rather walk over burning coals and have all his finger and toe nails ripped out than let on to Aaron. Besides, he reminded himself, it wasn't like before when they’d been sneaking around behind Chrissie’s back and Rob had really only been using the younger man for sex. Nowadays, Rob liked to think that everything he'd been through in London had made him into a better person, had made him more empathic and it wasn't like he would ever give up on him or dump him. Especially not at the first hurdle but he was at loss what to do next. Luckily, it was Aaron who let him know.

‘Hold me.’ Aaron pleaded and looked up at him with tears clinging to his lashes and his eyes wide and blue. His lower lip was trembling. ‘Just hold me and tell me everything’s going to be alright even if it isn’t.’

'Sh...Come 'ere. No need to be scared.' Rob did what he asked willingly. 'It's alright, everything's going to be be alright – he'll leave – he'll have to if he doesn't have a deathwish.'

All the while the cogs were turning in his head about what he could do to re-poen the case. Legally or illegally, he no longer cared because if Aaron freaking out again proved anything, it was that his father didn't even have to be there to ruin his life.

Aaron sighed as he felt his body calm down because now all he had to do was tell Paddy the truth when he got back. His stepfather had called again to say he'd been delayed a few more days (more paperwork and red tape this time). Aaron knew that no-one else had told him about Gordon – they respected his wishes.

He was dreading it.


	26. Revelations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I haven't updated this story for a while – I haven't given up on it. Am so busy with work and other stuff....  
> Hope you're all having a good summer (or winter) depending where you are in the world and don't forget to leave kudos/and a comment if you like my story! I'd really appreciate it!  
> Thanks x
> 
> The next day
> 
> Is Gordon really going to get away with it? Why is he staying in the village? How can Rob help him get over Gordon?

…...  
'Why do I feel like this?' Aaron complained, wiping his eyes furiously with his sleeve. 'Never broke down all the time like this before, not even when he...when he...you fucking pussy!' He screamed in rage at himself and punched himself in the knee. He raised his hand to do it again but Rob caught it just in time.  
'Don't....Stop hurtin' yourself.' His boyfriend wrapped him up in a hug deliberately so he couldn't move his arms and instead of freaking Aaron out like Rob was afraid it might, it actually calmed him down.  
'What the fuck's wrong with me? Sick of feelin' like this.' He moaned.  
'It's good that you do.'  
Aaron turned to look at him in disbelief with damp eyes.  
'It means you're finally dealing with it. Finally facing up to what happened to you.'  
'What? You my shrink now?'  
'No – but I kinda of understand.'  
Aaron shivered, remembering what Rob had told him about London.  
'Wish he'd never come back.'  
'Yeah but if he hadn't – what would be the chances you would have ever told somebody?'  
'That's true. But he's still here!'  
Rob opened his mouth to answer but was interrupted.

'Well, what you going to do about it?' A gruff, mocking voice asked from behind them. They both whirled around at exactly the same time.  
'Cain! Don't you know you should knock? We might have been....' Aaron blushed and turned away in embarrassment and Rob released him from his bear-hug abashedly.  
Cain chuckled. 'You left the door open, boys. Didn't you notice?' Then his voice turned serious. 'Is he OK?' He asked Rob.  
'I am here, you know!'  
Cain laughed again. 'Glad to hear it.' He closed the door behind him and came to sit down on his their bed. Rob moved to give him room, looking disgruntled. 'Now, I meant what I said. What are we going to do about Gordon?'  
The boys looked at each other and Rob began to speak until Aaron shut him down. 'Nothing. That's what! OK?' He glanced fiercely between the two of them.  
'So, you going to just let him keep making your life a misery? Your mum's too?'  
'We're thinking of getting out of this dump, actually.' Aaron fired back.  
The older man tutted and shook his head. 'So, you're running away again. Never had you down as a coward, son.'  
'Cain! Don't call him like that!' Robert exclaimed and got up between them to challenge him.  
'Sit down, lad. Don't mean anythin' by it. Jus' meant I thought you were more of a fighter, Aaron.'  
'He's right.' Aaron looked up at his boyfriend with hooded eyes.  
'He won't leave no matter what anybody does if I know him. And why should we have to? We've both got our businesses here...we can't uproot ourselves.' He'd thought about the practicalities in the meantime after he'd resisted the old urge to flee from trouble, particularly when it involved his father. He knew that Rob would follow him wherever he went but he didn't want him to lose everything to do it.  
'You mean kill him?' Even Rob was shocked. 'You tried that already, remember.' He smirked at Cain but there was respect there too.

Cain rolled his eyes. 'I meant legally, idiots! Go and look for witnesses...Well, he's likely to have done it to someone else, ain't he?'  
'Don't you think we thought of that already? I've drawn a blank. It's like he's Mr Perfect. Nothing. Not even so much as a parking ticket.' Rob retorted with a raised voice.

'Well, try harder then!' Cain snapped back. 'If you really love him like you say you do, you would have found some dirt on the bastard by now! Something! Another boy he did it to!'  
Now it was Aaron's turn to get protective. 'Don't talk to him like that!' He snapped at his uncle. 'He's doing his best!'  
'Alright, alright, don't get worked up.' Cain held up his hands in mock surrender. 'I'll leave you two boys...hmm (he cleared his throat) in peace. I'm going out on a date with a lady so don't stay up for me, will ye?'  
'See you!' Rob called after him a little sarcastically as he turned to go into the bathroom and get himself ready. A few minutes later they heard him shout 'Bye' and the door slam.  
…..  
Their squabbling and protectiveness over him made Aaron smile at least. Cain might come across as harsh sometimes but he showed that he really cared about his nephew, Rob thought. He couldn't really blame him being suspicious of him with his track record and overprotective when it came to Aaron and he knew he would have to earn his trust and respect.  
'He's right.' He said. 'Rob – can you try again to track down Sandra and Liv? I need to make sure my sister's OK. Maybe...maybe they remember something...'  
Oh, I'm sure they do. Well, Sandra at least. Rob thought bitterly to himself. How could she not have noticed what was going on under her roof when Aaron said it happened several times a month?  
Then he mentally answered his own question.  
Because she chose not to see, that's how. But he said none of this to Aaron and squeezed his hand instead.  
'I couldn't find any record of them. Probably Sandra changed her name...' He wondered aloud without thinking.  
'Why would she do that?' Aaron was reeling as put it all together. 'Why would they go into hiding like that?'  
Rob said nothing, only put his arm around his shoulders.  
'Oh God...' His boyfriend moaned.  
Rob wished he hadn't said anything, not at least until he was sure.  
'We don't know that for sure. Just looks like that...maybe she left the country....wanted a fresh start...'  
'Because of something Gordon did to Liv?' Aaron's eyes watered up again as the familiar needling worry struck him again while Rob was planting kisses all over them, trying to stop them up.  
'I wasn't there to protect her. Cain's right...I always run away and I am a coward.'  
'Don't blame yourself. You were a kid! After what he did...You had to save yourself.'  
'She's my little sister, Rob. He's probably already turned her against me. She probably hates me.'  
'Now, now, don't jump to conclusions. I'll find them. I will this time.' Rob promised as Aaron sobbed in his arms. Even if I have to use all my savings and it kills me, I'll find them. It's only money. And I'll get a witness. I just want to see you smile again – a genuine smile and be your old cocky self. I I hate the sick bastard's power to make you cry like that at a drop of a pin – even when he's not fuckin' here. Then maybe we can all get back to normal...  
….  
Paddy sighed as the plane touched down at the airport. He was exhausted and on top of that, he was worried sick about his stepson. Had Aaron been cutting again? Surely, someone would have phoned him to let him know? Was that creepy father of his still hanging around...Paddy was convinced that Gordon was to blame for his self-harming and couldn't stomach contemplating the reasons why.  
Unfortunately, the deal for various supplies had finally gone through but it hadn't been easy. It turned out German business culture was a lot different...and he'd been delayed by all the red-tape and obstacles put down in his path. 

Paddy felt guilty for not phoning Aaron or Chas from abroad to find out how he was doing more often. He'd made a couple of brief phonecalls but his ex-wife's voice had sounded strained and she'd been curt with him, clearly reluctant to talk. Aaron was fine, she had said but he hadn't believed her any more than than when he'd spoken to the boy himself. His voice on the other hand had sounded unnaturally bright and cheery when he insisted that he was feeling fine and hadn't hurt himself lately.  
Paddy prayed that floppy-haired playboy boyfriend was looking after him properly because if he wasn't...If he'd hurt his fragile son who was in a very bad place these days in any way ....  
The vet gripped his leather business travelling bag so tightly that his knuckles turned white and the normally genial big man stomped out with the other passengers to go through passport control and collect his luggage.  
…  
Rob cancelled his meetings with clients that afternoon to do more research on Aaron's family while he was out working in his garage. At first he found no trails on the net until he found a lead who was willing to talk when he phoned her – a woman who claimed to have been next-door neighbours to the Liveseys when Aaron had lived with them. He just said that he was a friend – he didn't know if Aaron would want him to tell her about their relationship but he guessed probably not (not that he was ashamed of them) and explained that he wanted to reunite him with his sister, Liv. 

He'd offered her money if her story checked out but she hadn't wanted any, sounding slightly miffed that he'd even asked. He'd almost kicked himself then. Must learn not to treat every social interaction as a business exchange – a trade-off. Like he used to used to with Aaron the first time. You let me do that and I'll do this...  
You scratch my back and I'll scratch yours.

However, Mrs Holly turned out to be a mine of information. She told him that she'd heard shouts and people arguing, screaming coming from Aaron's house. It sounded like a man and a woman about whom she'd made complaints all to no avail.  
'When they first moved in, they were all lovely - dovey. Then he lost his well-paid job at the bank (she didn't know why but suspected that maybe he'd been fired) and then the screaming matches started'.  
She didn't know if there was domestic abuse – or any other kind for that matter - why had he asked her that? But she didn't think so. There had been no signs on Sandra or on the kids. She also didn't know for sure how Sandra had treated Aaron but she recalled that he'd always had clean clothes and packed lunches and looked well after. She'd seen her driving him to football and other activities, picking him up from school as well as Liv later on.

But she didn't care that her husband was raping him, Rob thought furiously to himself. Instead, she chose to sacrifice him and save her daughter. Understandable, he supposed. If you were a heartless bitch who only cared about her own, that was. 

What had she thought of Gordon? A charming man but there was 'something nasty behind his eyes'. When Rob had pressed her further to explain what she meant by that, her tone got shifty and he could almost see her shaking her head on the other side of the line.  
'I can't explain it'. She admitted frankly. 'I just didn't trust him.'  
Rob almost breathed a sigh of relief. Someone else hadn't fallen for his act or been under his spell. If a sixty-something old woman could see through him, then maybe there were others.  
'How was he with Aaron? Do you remember when they were out together?'  
She shrugged her shoulders. 'Normal. They used to play footie in the park. The boy seemed angry sometimes and I heard him answer back to his father once or twice but what young boy isn't going through puberty? And practically abandoned by his mother. I thought Gordon was very patient with him – he just smiled and laughed it off.  
Yeah, I bet he did. Until they got home. Rob also didn't bother to correct her about Chas. Aaron had been the one who chose to live with his father – having no idea what was in store for him when he did.  
Was there anything else she could tell him? Where they went after she got divorced?  
'Heard through the grapevine that she changed her name back to her maiden name and moved back to Ireland. To stay with her parents in Dublin apparently.'  
'And what was the maiden name?'  
'I can't remember. I'm so sorry.'  
But it was more than he expected. After thanking her enthusiastically, Rob put the phone down, satisfied that he would be successful. Later on he would ask Aaron if he remembered a Mrs Holly living with her daughter about the same age as him when he lived with his Dad and Sandra back in Liverpool. If she was telling the truth, he could start trying to track her down. However, he wasn't worried on that score – he was pretty sure the old woman was telling the truth. His gut said so.  
After a long time of fruitless research on the net, Rob had struck gold but it didn't mean he had the treasure chest in his hands.  
He had a long way to go before he could dug it out.  
…  
As he put the phone down, he contemplated going to Aaron's place of work and surprising him with the good news. Maybe he could do more than surprise him...the fantasy of bending him over his own work-table amongs all his tools while he stripped him of his blue workman's uniform, all covered in sweat and oil was getting him excited...  
Until he realised it wasn't going to happen. Not until he finally got rid of Gordon and sent him down to live with all the other scumbags and perverts right where he belonged. So that Aaron could begin to heal and then maybe they could …...without his words echoing his father's, without his touch reminding Aaron of Gordon's.  
….  
Paddy brooded in the taxi back from the airport. It wasn't like he was expecting a welcoming committee or anything but it would have been nice if Aaron had answered his phone or if Chas had not cut him off – saying that she had to go. She didn't sound OK – like she was hiding something from him but she did tell him that Aaron wasn't hurt – (well not physically, whatever that meant) and that he would have to talk to him himself.  
Paddy was now convinced that Aaron's psychological problems had its roots in his father.  
The taxi stopped outside his house but Paddy changed his mind. 'Take me to that pub over there.' He pointed.  
The driver grumbled – he'd just turned the meter off but he brightened up at the nice tip of £9 his passenger left him.  
'Thanks!'  
The vet hardly heard him as he made his way to the Woolpack. He was hungry after the journey and naturally had nothing in the fridge. Besides, he could do with a pint – or five. After that, he would go and see his stepson and find out what was going on.  
At least Charity greeted him from behind the bar and some of his mates did as well.  
'Paddy, you're back!'  
'How you doing? How was Germany?' One patron clapped him on the back.  
At least they bought him drinks and after a few, he planned to decline the next one and just finish beer he was holding in his hand.  
He had to go and find Aaron.  
When he mentioned him, Diane laid her hand on top of his in solidarity. 'Oh, love, you don't know? I thought it was strange that you came here first instead of checking on him. With everythin' he's been through lately.'  
Paddy pulled his hand away and stood up, grabbing his coat – his drink forgotten.  
'What do you mean?' He looked around at everybody, noting the knowing looks – some mixed with sympathy annoying the hell out of him.  
They glanced at each other uncomfortably. Nobody wanted to tell the vet.  
'Why don't we go out back?' Charity took pity on him and he followed her sheepishly, aware of the eyes poking into his back. 'Diane – do you mind taking over the bar for a while?'  
She agreed easily.  
'Why don't I get you something stronger than that?' She took the glass away from him as they passed the bar, motioned him on and turned to pour him a double whiskey.  
'Why?' He asked but too the glass gratefully. 'Did he hurt himself again?'  
'No, but we know why he does that now. I would sit down if I was you.'  
He sank gratefully into the armchair with its pink English rose pattern, his heavy frame making a big dent in the cushion.  
'It's his father, isn't it?'  
Charity nodded, nursing her own glass of double-vodka.  
'What did he do to him?'  
'I'd rather you ask Aaron that.'  
'He can' tor won't tell me.'  
She sighed, wondering if she should but decided that he needed to know.  
'He...He molested him. I'm sorry, Paddy.'  
Paddy almost choked on the drink he was swigging back. 'Poor Aaron. What did he do to him?' He demanded.  
'Everything, that's what Chas says.' Charity's voice was uncharacteristically small as a tiny tremor ran through her fingers holding her glass. 'And I mean everything.' She finished reluctantly. 

Paddy slammed the empty glass back down on the table. 'The sick pervert! I knew it! Must have been something like that to make him...I asked Aaron if he did that ...He called me 'Dad' and he denied it!'  
'You knew?' Now it was her turn to be flabbergasted.  
'Not for sure. Just the way he was in hospital...the things he was saying when they had him on morphine...'  
'You knew the whole time and didn't tell us?' She repeated loudly, her eyes flashing with anger as she advanced on him, looking ready to snatch the glass back and shove it down his throat.

'Keep it down, will you?' Paddy jerked his thumb back towards the bar where sound of raucous laughter and loud talk had resumed. He'd already been forgotten.  
'I didn't, not for sure - I keep telling you!'  
'That's not the worst of it. Rob finally managed to persuade him to go to the police and they dropped the case from lack of evidence! Lack of evidence! And Gordon's still hanging around like a bad smell even though it's been made clear to him that no-one wants him here. Even Mrs Tilsey threw him out of the B&B...'  
'He is?' Paddy was incredulous with fury as he stood up and started to leave. 'He won't be by the time I'm through with him!' He rushed out to the bar and Charity ran after him, grabbing his sleeve but he shook her off. 'Let me go!'  
'No, wait...Cain tried that...'  
'Tell me where Gordon lives!' He grabbed her and shook her.  
'No!'  
'I'll tell you.' An old farmer piped up helpfully. 'He lives at...'  
'Shut up!' Chas yelled at him and he slumped back, cowed.  
Paddy released her. 'It doesn't matter. I'll find him – how many cottages for rent are there in this place? 5? 7? I'll go to every one until I find him...'  
'Rob is dealing with it, don't go and make things worse!' She called after him but Paddy ignored her as he stormed out, leaving his small suitcase and bags behind.  
….

But Paddy didn't find Gordon who was keeping a low profile these days. He may have been stubborn to remain even through the rotten food thrown at him and the dog-shit incident and despite the torrent of abuse he received daily. He took it all like water off a duck's back because he had far bigger problems than the angry villagers.  
No-one knew about the 'special-bond' between father and son. They didn't know it was the way he showed his love for Aaron. 

No-one knew about the growing pain in his abdomen either, his lack of appetite and his yellowing eyes and skin. Did anyone notice or care about the weight falling off him day by day? Certainly not his flesh or blood. Or his ex-wife and mother of his son either. They never got close enough to look except the elderly woman who owned the village's one small grocery store and she was half blind.  
Not that he'd been there lately.  
He would have left for Aaron's sake if he could but the truth was he was too weak.  
He knew he should go to hospital or the GP at least but he simply didn't have the energy. Mostly, he didn't want to. He swigged from the brandy bottle that he'd managed to bribe some local teenagers to get for him who either didn't know or care about what he'd done. Not when he paid them more than double for it.  
He staggered to lie on the bed and curled up on it, his regrets and self-pity his only companions.  
….  
The vet knocked on a few doors and was received by some very unhappy visitors who'd come down for the sheep-dog show on Saturday. After a while, he gave up.  
He went to Cain's where he knew Aaron was staying now. His mother too – she'd left her own place, wanting to be near her son.  
Luckily, it was his stepson who opened the door and no-one else was around.  
'Hi.' Paddy enveloped him in a hug and was pleased when Aaron hugged him back just as hard.  
'Hi Dad. I got your message but I was busy. Would have come and picked you up otherwise.'  
'Don't worry about it. You OK?' The vet beamed because Aaron had called him that without thinking. Almost reluctantly, he released him and closed the door.  
Aaron merely shrugged and went in the kitchen. 'Want a cuppa or something stronger?' He called out to him.  
Paddy debated with himself. The things he needed to discuss with his stepson demanded something to make it easier.  
'Got any booze?'  
'Yeah, sure. Beer OK?'  
'No...' Paddy blushed despite himself, he was going to sound like an alcoholic now and no doubt Aaron wouldn't approve. 'Sorry, of course beer's OK but I'll have something stronger if you've got it handy.'  
'Whiskey strong enough?' He gave him a curious look over his shoulder before he went to the alchohol cabinet to pull it out.  
'Better have a large one yourself, son.'  
'Why, Dad?' Now he sounded worried. A few minutes later, he came back with 2 large glasses full of ice – whiskey on the rocks just like he knew Paddy liked it and the big bottle of Scotch settled in between them on a tray in case the wanted more. He laid it down, poured out the drinks.  
Paddy watched him, dreading what he had to say. He suddenly recalled when Aaron was 15 – a teenage tearaway in every sense of the word, having raided his own booze cabinet with his girlfriend when he was out and he'd come back from a long day of work to find them passed out and curled up on the couch together. They'd have looked cute if not for the circumstances and their hangovers the next day had been awful. The girl's mother had blamed Paddy even though he explained the situation. All that had happened back when Aaron was 'straight'.  
'How was Germany? You get a good deal with the supplier?'  
'Yeah. But they made me work for it. That' s why I came back so late.'  
'That sucks. But bet it was worth it in the end.'  
'Aaron – where is everybody else?'  
'Why? You worried about Cain?' He teased. 'Don't worry, they're all out.'  
Paddy chuckled. 'Scared of that big old softie? As if.'  
They chuckled together and it did the vet's heart good to hear him laugh.  
Paddy thought it was a shame to break the happy mood but he needed to hear the truth from the horse's mouth, so to speak.  
'Aaron – I need to talk to you about something. Your dad...'  
'Why did you bring him up for?' He snapped, scowling under his eyebrows.  
'Is he still here?'  
'Yeah but he's staying out of my way.'  
'Still, you can't like having him here...'  
'Of course not! But we tried to make him leave...Me and Rob were talking about going instead...'  
'You shouldn't have to do that. Should be him the one who goes.'  
He shrugged.  
'Aaron – I have to ask...What did he really do to you?'  
Aaron smiled a fakily, sunny grin. 'He just hit me, you know that...'  
'Aaron...' Paddy reached round to cup his chin in his huge hands. 'Son, I know.'  
'Know what?' Aaron yanked his face away and Paddy saw a faint glimmer resurfacing of his sullen, rebellious teenage son who had emptied his booze cabinet that day. Aaron was daring him to say it out loud.  
'I know why you cut yourself. Burn – hurt yourself. It's your dad, isn't it? What I asked you before in hospital and you said no...it wasn't true, was it?'  
'Did my Mum tell you? I told her not to!'  
'Don't blame Chas. I was down in the pub when Charity told me.'  
'Great! So they all know?'  
'It wasn't like that. We were in private.'  
'Whatever.' Aaron shrugged but curled into himself again, away from his stepfather. 'You better leave now. Rob'll be back any minute...'  
'Did he try it again?' Paddy shot in the dark but he trusted his intuition.  
'I'm not 11 anymore, I'm 21! How could he?' Aaron scoffed, reminding Paddy that he hadn't wanted a party for his 21st – so Chas has told him but it was his immediate downcast look of shame that told his stepfather everything he needed to know. Especially when his mouth trembled.  
'I don't blame you for not telling me. I can't imagine how difficult it is to talk about it. How painful.'  
Aaron's tears spilled over and Paddy pulled him to him. 'Sh...I'm here. We'll get rid of him, you'll see.'  
'But don't kill him! Or hurt him!'  
'Of course I won't,' Paddy lied although usually he was far from violence. He couldn't understand Aaron' s need to protect the man who had done such sick things to him.  
….  
'Where does he live?' He asked Aaron after he'd calmed down a little.  
'I'm not telling you that! Just stopped Cain from murdering him...I don't want you to go to prison too!'  
'I'm not going to hurt him.' Paddy lied, artfully hiding the fact that his blood was boiling with rage every time Aaron's father was mentioned. 'Just going to talk to him, that's all. Make him see that there's nothing here for him any more and he should... should move on. For his own sake as well.'  
'Yeah right! He's sick you know!'  
Yeah he is. Paddy thought to himself. He still couldn't understand Aaron's compassion for the man.  
Aaron spoke as if he sensed his thoughts. 'He wasn't always bad. When I was smaller, he was the best dad ever. He let me go to bed when I liked, I could choose what to eat – even sweets for tea and he'd kick a ball around with me in the park. Guess I can't forget about the good times.'  
'That's not always good for a kid..But...it's good that you've got some nice memories of him.'  
'I know that now. But back then...he spoiled me rotten and Mum was always the strict one. That's why I was stupid enough to choose him.  
'You weren't stupid, son.' Paddy brushed back a stray strand of hair. 'You were a boy who just wanted to be with his dad – one of the most natural things in the world.'  
'He's not my dad – not any more. You're my dad.'  
Smiling, Paddy stroked his hair fondly. 'And you're my son, Aaron. I always loved you like you were but you could never believe it. And no wonder...Our divorce doesn't change the way I feel about you. You're my family.'

Aaron closed his eyes and remembered his uncle saying something similar when he thought he didn't care and how nice it had felt. Like he really had a family he belonged to and who cared about him.  
'You didn't know what he was going to do. And the things he did do...he needs to pay for them.'  
His stepfather was relentless, making excuses for him.  
'But he's not going to is he?' Aaron got up. 'Sometimes...I just want to say forget it, he's probably dying anyway and get out of here. Start again.'  
'Don't you ever get fed up with 'starting again'? What you going to do with your business?'  
'I didn't say I was going to...just sometimes that I think about it.'  
'He might be dying?' Even Paddy was shocked, suddenly remembering what Aaron had just told him.  
'Yeah. Didn't you know?'  
'But he had chemo...'  
'The cancer could come back any time, Mum said.'  
'Still, you don't know that it will...Maybe that's what he told her but it isn't true.'  
'Hmm....Maybe...'

Just then the key turned in the lock.  
'Where were you? Didn't you read my texts?' Was the first thing Rob said to him as he came through the door and strode across the room to hug him like he lost hope of ever seeing him again. 'I went to the scrapyard but you were already gone...'  
Aaron tried to signal to him that they had a visitor. That's when he noticed Paddy who was giving him filthy looks.  
'I better be going.' The vet got up without acknowledging Rob but gave Aaron's shoulder a quick squeeze before he left.  
'What's his problem? What was he doing here?' Rob turned to Aaron as soon as the door closed behind Paddy.  
'He just got back from Germany and he knows what Gordon did to me. Charity told him!'  
'Well, he would have found out sooner or later.'  
'He knew – he asked me if that was why I cut myself and I lied to him!'  
'He understands. You didn't tell anybody at first – not for years. Anyway, I've got some good news.'  
'Really?'  
'Do you remember Sandra's maiden name?'  
'Owens'.  
'Good. Because I think I know where she is.'  
Aaron hugged him for joy and kissed him.  
'And my sister? Where?' He gushed.  
'They went to Ireland to stay with her parents then moved around for a bit but now they're back in England.'  
'Where? Are they far?' Now he was practically leaping in the air with excitement by now.  
'Not far. They're back in Liverpool.'  
'Liverpool? Portland Street – where we all lived before? Why would they go back there?'  
'Of course they didn't, silly. She had to go somewhere a bit cheaper after she divorced your dad. A suburb – some place called the Hounslow Estate. Number 271.'  
Rob brought out the print-out he'd been hiding behind his back. He pointed to the map of Liverpool he'd printed out and circled the address.  
'She's living under her maiden name. But your sister's there with her.'  
Aaron took it from him slowly, blinking as if still unable to really believe it.  
'You sure?' He looked up at him sceptically. He wasn't used to having good luck.  
'99.998% sure.' Grinning, Rob produced his next surprise – a recent school photo of Liz in her uniform. She was a pretty 14 year-old girl with long, blonde hair.  
'That her?'  
'Yeah...She's grown up a lot but I still recognise her. Thank-you, thank-you!' He hugged Rob again and took it from him gingerly but then his elation faded as he stared at the photo, looking for signs of abuse even though he knew it was mostly useless. Nobody had noticed any on him.  
Eventually, Aaron was able to tear his eyes away from her image. 'Do you think Gordon got to her? Told her I was a violent ASBO who hit her mother? That I was crazy? Bad and that's why they had to chuck me out?'  
'Only one way to find out. Anyway, whose side do you think she'll be on when she finds out what he is?'  
A cloud covered Aaron's face. 'Not sure...not sure I want her to find out the truth. It'll kill her if we tell her...I don't want her dragged into this mess!'  
Rob was secretly disappointed but was determined to let him choose how he dealt with Gordon.  
'Let's cross that bridge when we come to it, eh? Main thing is we found them.'  
'How did you...No, don't tell me. When can we go?'  
'Well, I've got a couple of clients I definitely need to see tomorrow. Cancelled on them today already.'  
'And I need to clear the backlog of car repairs before I shut up shop.'  
'How about this weekend? We can go Friday night, book a nice hotel and restaurant before we go there Saturday.'  
'Nice idea but not sure I'll be in the mood. Do you think I should call before we go? Make sure she's in?'  
'You've got time to think about that. Just take it one day at a time. Your choice.' He wrapped his arms around him. 'I just want to spoil you rotten, baby. All the shit you've been through lately...'  
Aaron nodded against his chest and closed his eyes. Maybe it would be good to get away. Let Rob treat him. Look after him.  
'Come on, let's go to bed. Knackered.' Rob yawned and pulled him up the stairs with him.

Aaron gave a hopeful little smile as he let him lead the way to their bedroom. He was feeling more positive. Chas was staying with a friend, Cain was with his woman and for once, they were alone.


	27. Familiar

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long delay, I have been swamped with work then Christmas and New Year came along and then more work…well, you get the picture. I hope you all have/are having a good holiday.  
> So, Rob has finally tracked down Aaron’s former stepmother and half-sister but are they really at that address? Will Aaron be able to tell Sandra what he suspects? Will she believe him or just chuck him out?  
> We will see….Happy holidays everyone! Please, if you like this story, leave a comment or a review.  
> Thanks x

That Friday afternoon they were on the train to Liverpool and Aaron was silent, staring out of the window. Rob frowned and tried to nudge him with his foot but his boyfriend scowled and moved away irritably.  
‘You ok? I thought you’d be happy I’ve found them.’  
‘Happy? What if he….’  
‘I wish I hadn’t bothered now.’ Rob replied petulantly. ‘Let’s get off at the next station and go home if you feel like that.’  
‘No. We started it and we’ll finish it.’ The Dingle only gave him a tight smile but he did squeeze his hand. ‘I am grateful you did – jus’ nervous, you know? Maybe they filled her head with stories about me – the bad stuff I did - and now she thinks I’m bad and she’s scared of me. Maybe she even hates me…’  
‘Don’t say that, baby. You never did anythin’ that bad.’ Rob returned the hand-squeeze, knowing instantly who he was talking about. And that was one of the things Aaron loved about him – that he just got it. Still, he didn’t quite believe Rob.  
‘You don’t know….’  
‘Sh.’ Rob put a finger to his lips to shut him up. ‘Even if they did, she won’t believe them when she finally meets you.’  
‘Yeah.’ Aaron murmured unconvinced and turned back to watch the English countryside fly by, in places there were still patches of snow on the fields. He let his mind wonder, thinking about Emmerdale and how half of him felt torn between going back there while the rest of him desperately wanted to find his sister and know for sure that Gordon hadn’t touched her.  
But then his fragile confidence wobbled again. ‘Sandra hates me….What if she slams the door in my face? Won’t let me see Liv?’  
‘Then we’ll do with that bridge when we come to it.’ Rob had visions of forcing their way through the door and confronting her with the truth. Maybe she would break down and confess that she knew – had always known. Then, overcome with guilt and remorse, she would offer to be a witness in court for them against Gordon. Then again, he didn’t know her and she sounded like a cold-hearted bitch from what his boyfriend said about her.  
‘Yeah. When she sees me, she’ll have to tell the truth. Just hope Liv’s not there to hear it.’  
‘Don’t worry, it’ll be OK.’ Rob announced brightly – more positive than he actually felt and slung a arm about the other man’s shoulders. Aaron accepted this and gave a little shudder of repressed emotion as he leaned back against him and let out a deep sigh. Rob stroked his arm reassuringly, drawing a few odd looks from the passengers around him until he eyeballed them into minding their own business. Still, he had to admit that Aaron had only articulated his own thoughts and doubts but it was worth a try. Anything to get rid of Gordon who looked like he was there to stay in Emmerdale until he died.  
Aaron closed his eyes. ‘Wake me up when we get there.’  
Rob nodded and kissed the top of his head drawing more disapproving looks. Fuck you, he thought at them as he let his own head sink against his companion’s and closed his eyes. Normally, he would have been more belligerent against bigoted old people but he decided to save his energy for what was coming. He needed to be strong for Aaron if the worst happened.  
About 30 minutes later the robot on the train’s loudspeaker announced that they were approaching Liverpool. Rob shook Aaron awake. The Dingle roused himself blearily and rubbed his eyes.  
‘Let’s get this over with.’ Aaron declared as they walked out of the station.  
‘What?’ Rob stopped right there on the platform, pulling his small suitcase with him in surprise. I thought we were going to have dinner somewhere and check into the hotel and then find them early in the morning?’  
‘Why? Can’t wait to get me into bed?’ Aaron joked and stubbornly shook his head. ‘No. Tonight. Then I’ll know one way or another. Can’t stand not knowing.’  
‘What about our luggage?’  
‘We don’t have much with us…’  
Rob sighed as his stomach growled hungrily but he followed the Dingle as he strode off.  
‘Wait a minute! Don’t you want to look at the map first? Maybe we should get a taxi…’  
‘I know where it is.’  
Of course, he does. He was staring at that map for at least an hour this morning over breakfast before we both left for work, Rob thought to himself. Just like he was trying to burn it into his memory forever. Or maybe all his hopes and dreams were tied up in that one house.  
Aaron paused and stared at him and Rob could tell by his body language how impatient he was. He was carrying only a small backpack – he didn’t require nearly as many things as his metrosexual lover. The Dingle was typical of his clan – practical and unfussy.  
‘Hurry up!’ He cried.  
After a few minutes of walking past big houses, Aaron turned off to the right at a park gate. ‘It’s this way’, he said.  
‘You sure? Maybe we should look at the map again…’  
‘Don’t need to. Must be 15 mins away at the most. The park is the quickest way to get there.’  
‘You want us to go through there? It’s getting dark!’ It was true, dusk was coming quickly and the pinkish light from the setting sun was slipping away fast.  
‘In here!’ Rob had no choice but go with him. They kept to the path but the tall trees – probably pines stood out against the yellows, reds and pinks that would soon merge into twilight, shook their tops and rustled with the wind.  
That’s when the teenager in the hoodie ambushed them, brazenly bumping into Rob. Caught off guard, neither of them had time to react when the kid ran off with his wallet that had been thoughtlessly half- sticking out of his coat pocket. Aaron had always told him to be more careful with his things, especially on the street. Yet all his swagger and sophistication, Rob remained a trusting country lad at heart.  
‘What the fuck?’ Aaron roared. ‘Be more careful in future, you little scroat!’  
‘He’s got my money.’ Rob was patting down his pockets.  
‘You sure?’ Aaron ventured, hardly able to believe it had happened.  
‘Yes! Get after him!’  
That got him going as they both ran after the thief.  
‘Hey! Stop! You little bastard!’ The kid was fast but must have been overconfident after he turned the corner and disappeared out of sight because he had stopped running, was now just fast walking. But when he heard them yelling at them, he broke into another run. He turned off the path and ran into the trees.  
However, even this made him no match for Aaron who eventually caught up with him. When he did, he yanked him by the hood and slammed him into the nearest tree.  
‘Ow, ow! You’re hurting me! Get off me, you perve!’ The ‘youth’s’ voice was surprising high even it hadn’t broken yet and Aaron found that he had a couple of long, fine blonde hairs in his hand.  
‘You a girl?’ Still there was something familiar about that voice…that Scouse accent that he had never acquired even when he lived there for some reason. His mum was from Yorkshire. His mum said all accents were psychological and based on identity so that was why.  
He backed off but kept a firm grip of her arm with one hand and shook her, not letting her get away.  
She struggled.  
‘Oh, no you don’t. Give it me!’ He reached for the wallet in her hand but then realised that he would have to release her because he only had one hand and he wasn’t going to do that.  
‘You attacked me and touched me up! Then you tried to drag me into those bushes! I’m going to tell everyone you’re a paedo!’  
‘Nice try but you were the one thievin’ from us, remember?’ Rob had arrived by then, sweating and all out of breath. ‘Thanks.’ He took his wallet back and Aaron smirked at him, thinking that he would use that to tease him about being the older man and the least fit out of them both. If things turned out OK, that was.  
‘He did!’ Aaron was holding her by two arms now. ‘You gotta believe me. He tried to rape me!’ Aaron went pale and startled, nearly losing his grip of her.  
‘Yeah, right.’ Rob scoffed. ‘Do you want to phone the police or should I? Let me have a look at your face.’ He reached over to pull her hood back – neither of them had got a good look at her and it was completely dark now.  
She screamed wordlessly at that and nipped the Dingle’s hand.  
Aaron yelled and instinctively let her go and that’s how she finally got away.  
‘Shit! You hurt?’ Rob pulled his hurt hand to him to examine it closely. ‘It’s not deep and it’s not bleeding.’  
Aaron paid no attention – he was looking after the young scally who was getting away. ‘Yeah, you better run, you little animal! You better hope I don’t see you again again!’ He screamed in rage after her.  
He fancied he heard her giggle at that. They let her go, after all, Rob had got his wallet back and they more important things to do that night.  
‘Yeah, yeah. Stop ye fussin’.’ He pulled his hand away from his concerned boyfriend. ‘I’ll be OK.’  
‘I’ll clean it and bandage it up – here, let’s go and find a pharmacy.’  
‘Leave it, OK? She didn’t get me that badly. Come on.’ Rob shook his head.  
They walked along to the end of the path punctuated only by the occasional old-fashioned street lamps in the park until they go to the gate.  
‘Portland Street should be up here. Yes – see the sign? There it is Number 201, 203……’ They walked all the way to 217.  
‘That’s it. Don’t you want to go in?’ There were standing in smart, small house – 2 up and 2 down probably, made out of grey stone.  
Aaron shook his head. ‘Jus’ give me a minute.’ He started to breathe a little too quickly for Rob’s liking and he could tell he was close to panic.  
‘Here.’ He drew him into a hug. Aaron sank gratefully into his arms for a couple of seconds before pushed him off. He glanced nervously back at the house. ‘What if they’re watching us from the window?’  
‘Better not keep them waiting, then.’ Rob said, not a little hurt by the fact that Aaron still cared about what people thought about them. Then again it was his family who he hadn’t seen for years and maybe he wanted to tell them in his own time and his own way.  
‘Right. But I haven’t even thought about what I’m going to say to them!’  
‘Maybe it’s better you don’t think too much about it. Just be natural.’  
Rob opened the gate and together, they strolled up the little gravel path and the overgrown, weedy front garden.  
‘Here goes.’ Aaron took a deep breath and raised his hand – the injured one he hadn’t been holding, to knock, then lowered it again.  
Rob couldn’t blame him for his hesitation – he couldn’t begin to guess the whirlwind of emotions and memories awaiting Aaron if the people inside the house were the right people – the ones they’d been searching for.  
‘It’s OK. Take your time.’  
Aaron took another deep breath and steeled himself before he lifted his hand again to knock (what he hoped was a confident knock.  
He didn’t have to knock twice.  
It was the girl from the park – he recognised her long, blonde hair and the black hoodie she was wearing. Her mouth fell open and she started to gabble in a low voice. ‘Oh, it’s you. What are you two doin’ here? Please don’t tell my mum, she’ll kill me! I’m sorry I bit you but you got it back…’ Aaron stared back at her in shock while Rob watched her panicking with a little smirk on his lips.  
‘Who is it, love?’ A woman’s voice called out from the back of the house, the kitchen probably.  
‘No-one.’ She made to slam the door shut but Rob stuck his foot in the way. ‘Not so fast.’  
‘Please…..’. She begged them with big, innocent puppy-dog eyes. Now she could pass for an angel instead of the devil she had resembled when they first met her.  
Oh, she’s going to be a killer when she’s older, Rob thought dryly to himself.  
Aaron finally found his voice. ‘Liv? Is that you?’  
Her eyes flew wide as she was about to answer – no doubt a snarky reply but Sandra came up, drying a plate with a tea-towel.  
‘Aaron? Is that you love?’ She asked and nearly dropped the plate she was holding in her hand and took a step back.  
‘Let’s move out of the hallway.’ Rob suggested and that brought her to her senses. She put the plate down on a side-table.  
‘Good idea. Let’s all go into the living room.’  
‘Mum…’  
‘It’s OK, sweetheart. You remember your big brother Aaron, don’t you? And who’s this other young man?’ She asked him.  
‘Robert…He’s my…friend.’  
Rob gave him a look, feeling a little stung that again Aaron was denying their relationship but he told himself he understood. Perhaps now wasn’t the best way to come out to them.  
‘Here, sit down.’ She didn’t seem to notice the awkwardness of his answer. ‘Would you two like a drink? Liv, go and put on the kettle.’ Rob couldn’t help staring at her, his eyes narrowing. She wasn’t the wicked stepmother he’d been picturing in his mind.  
Liv was reluctantly about to do as she was asked – no doubt she was worried that they would rat on her but Aaron shook his head. ‘We’re OK, thanks. Probably won’t be staying long.’  
‘Oh.’ There was an awkward pause with both of them wondering the reason why she seemed disappointed that he had turned down her offer was that she couldn’t send her daughter out of the room without making it obvious.  
It was the teenager who eventually broke the silence. ‘Are you really my brother? It’s just that we haven’t seen each other for sooo long.’  
‘That’s not quite true…’ Rob began until Aaron silenced him with a look.  
‘But I do recognise you now…’ She nodded. ‘Even though you’ve got so old…How old are you? Are you …like…..thirty?’  
Robert repressed a little chuckle while Aaron folded his arms and simply glared at her, looking seriously pissed off.  
‘Liv!’ Sandra sounded exasperated.  
Well, isn’t this a nice surprise.’ She announced over-brightly as she twisted her hands in her lap, the only sign of her true feelings while the rest of her was as composed as a queen.  
‘Yeah, sorry we should have called but we weren’t sure this was your real address, you see.’ Aaron said.  
She smiled politely but didn’t ask how they had found her.  
‘How’s your Dad? Have you seen him lately? I don’t get any news about him, you see.’  
The two visitors exchanged meaningful glances but Aaron seized on this opening. ‘Actually, it’s him we came here to talk about.’  
She immediately grew pale. ‘Is that so? Liv, go to your room now.’  
‘Why?’ She whinged. ‘And I’ve just seen my brother in like – centuries and now you’re sending me away?’  
‘I said go upstairs, right now!’ Sandra’s tone turned sharp.  
‘Can I come back down later?’  
‘We’ll see.’  
With an exaggerated sigh and rolling of the eyes, the tearaway stomped up the stairs. Rob was only surprised that she didn’t slam the door with a loud bang on her way out.  
Aaron glanced at Rob a little nervously.  
Sandra waited, listening out for her daughter’s bedroom door to slam shut. She knew she would probably be listening to her i-Pod.  
‘Right, then. What do you want to ask me about your father, Aaron? He’s OK, isn’t he?’ She turned business-like.  
‘Not exactly. You didn’t hear? He’s got cancer.’  
She grew pale.  
‘Serious?’  
‘Yeah. They think it’s because of his drinking. And it doesn’t look good.’  
‘Oh my God!’ She brought the edge of her cardigan to her mouth. ‘Why didn’t anyone tell me?’  
‘Because no-one could find you.’ Rob joined in. ‘It took me a long time and I’m good at it.’  
Aaron shot him a warning look.  
‘Can I ask – why did you change your name after you got divorced? Did my ….dad…I mean Gordon do something wrong?’  
‘Why do you say that?’ She sounded surprised – either that or she was putting on the best act ever. ‘No, no, love. It wasn’t like that.’  
Wasn’t it? Rob thought cynically.  
‘It was all amicable on both sides – we agreed divorce was the best thing.’ Her voice was steady yet her hand twisting upped in tempo and she evaded their eyes.  
You’re hiding something. You wanted to make sure that Gordon didn’t have access to Liv, Rob thought and he had no doubt that Aaron was thinking the exact same thing.  
‘I’m sorry about the way things went before I left and I hit you.’ Aaron offered.  
She jerked back a little at that. ‘I’d forgotten, actually.’  
But both of them knew she was lying.  
‘Still, I always wanted to tell you but you know…’ He shrugged.  
‘Don’t worry, love. You were upset and so angry…it’s all water under the bridge now. And I always wanted to tell you that I tried to make him change his mind and bring you back after he kicked you out but he didn’t listen. Still, I suppose you were happier at your mum’s with your …your real… I mean your other family.’  
Aaron glanced at Rob, wondering if he could do it. Rob squeezed his hand surreptitiously under the coffee table.  
‘Sandra, the main reason I came here because I need to know if you remember anything about Da…Gordon. Because he used to …abuse me and I’m worried about Liv. Worried he was doing it to her too.’  
‘Abuse? You mean hit you? Now, we both know he never did that. He wasn’t violent.’ But the panic she tried so hard to conceal was there in her eyes now.  
‘No, I know he never hit me. I mean….sexual abuse and we’re wondering if you remember anything? See – Gordon molested me and if he could do it to me, he could do it to my sister. See – I’m wondering if that’s the reason you disappeared so quickly after your divorce because he was doing something to her?’  
She stared at them open-mouthed and brought her hand to her mouth and then took it away when she tried to speak. However, she could only choke instead. Then she half-rose from her armchair but sank back into it, seemingly exhausted. 

 

…………TO BE CONTINUED………………………………….


	28. Denial

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long delay. Have been busy. Anyway, here is chapter 28.   
> What is Sandra going to say? Did she know?
> 
> Please leave kudos or a comment if you like this story!

'What are you sayin', love?' She looked up at him from under her eyelashes. 'I know you and your dad had problems sometimes but accusing him of something like that...As for your sister...he doted on her. Would never have hurt her.'

Aaron sighed. 'Well he hurt me - what I'm saying is that when I was living with you, he raped me.'  
She gasped in horror. 'No!'

'That's why I hit you after you caught me nicking your booze – I was trying to stop you from leaving. 'Cos I knew he'd do it to me again.' His voice cracked and those damn tears started welling up in his eyes and he wiped them away furiously. Rob squeezed his shoulder comfortingly.   
She glanced at him but shook her head.   
'The police may want to talk to you – that's the reason we're here.' Rob explained as he hugged Aaron’s shoulders. ‘He’s telling the truth.’

She buried her head in her hands. 'He wouldn't – he couldn't....not to his own son.'  
'Oh -stop the play-acting. You knew, didn't you?' Rob suddenly grew angry at her. ‘That's why you vanished without a trace. Nice of you to save your daughter but you left your stepson to rot.'  
'What? No!' Her hands fluttered up to her throat like two helpless little birds but her eyes shifted. 'It wasn't like that. We left for a fresh start after the divorce....'

'Stop lying!' Rob had now got out of his chair and was looming over her with his fists clenched causing her to cringe away. He was simply too furious on Aaron's behalf to hold back any longer.  
'Rob! Stop it!' Aaron cried and pushed him away. 'You're making things worse. We don't know that...'  
'Twice a month for years...You telling me she didn't know?' He rounded on him now. 'She must have done!'  
'He was really careful! My room was on the third floor – he could have done anything to me up there and no-one would know!'  
'Keep your voices down! Liv'll hear!' Sandra raised panicky eyes to the ceiling.   
'Yeah and we wouldn't want that, would we?' Rob sneered.  
'I don't have to listen to any more of this. I’m sorry if you think this terrible thing happened to you, Aaron but I really can’t help you.' She got up. 'I want you to go, now.'

Aaron glared at Rob. 'I'm sorry about him. He's just upset. Please, I know how hard it is to believe but if you remember anything, can you let us know?' He pushed a piece of paper with his contact details into her hand. 'Like if you ever remembered him acting weird with me?’  
She took it graciously enough and folded it up neatly before she put it into her pocket.   
'Mum?' A girlish voice drifted down from upstairs.  
'Stay upstairs, sweetie. Aaron and his friend are just going.'  
They took the hint and made their move to leave.  
'But I want to say goodbye! You said I could!'  
She sighed.  
'Fine.'

'I think it would be better if you dropped this – for the all of us. Please.' She pleaded with her visitors quietly before her daughter came trampling down the stairs. 'Raking up the past like that...it's not fair on anyone.'

Aaron didn't have time to argue before he was smothered in a hug from Liv. Surprised but not unpleased, he hugged her gently back. Even Rob grinned at this show of affection. But Aaron badly wanted to ask her some indirect probing questions about Gordon but it was unlikely that her mother would ever let them see each other again, let alone be alone together.  
'Bye, big brother. When can I see them again, Mum?'   
Aaron shot a happy grin at his boyfriend.  
Liv looked up questioning at Sandra.

Sandra shot them warning looks over Liv's head. 'I'm not sure, darling. They better go now otherwise they'll miss their train.' She said pointedly.   
They had never told her how they got there.  
'Bye Rob.'  
'Bye, Liv. Nice to meet you.' He glared briefly at Sandra before they went out of the front door, silently telling her that it wasn't the end of it.   
She closed the door behind them – too quickly it seemed to Aaron but not before he heard Liv asking, 'What were you talking about with them, Mum? Is it about my Dad?'  
…..  
'Well, that was nice.' Rob immediately started with bitter sarcasm as soon as they were out of earshot. 'She was very helpful. Doesn’t want to know.'   
'You didn't help! Having a go at her like that. Almost made me wish I'd done this alone.'  
'Don't say that. Did you see her reaction when I accused her of knowing? That guilty look in her eye...She knows something.'

'I don't think she did, you know. You don't know what Gordon was like.....'  
'Why are you defending her? OK – she's not the wicked stepmother I was expecting but it's clear she put her own daughter first. Like she's doing now.'  
Aaron sighed. 'At least I got to see Liv. Do...Do you think she's really OK?'  
'Apart from being a pick-pocket in a hoodie? Seems more than OK to me. A little scally with an attitude just like her brother.'

Aaron elbowed him playfully before his expression turned serious again.   
'But do you think he touched her and it's all a front? You know how I used to act around her age and no-one could have guessed...'  
Rob stopped on the street and hugged him. 'I don't know, Aaron.' He wanted more than anything to put his boyfriend's mind at ease but he knew he couldn't without lying. He wasn't about to lie to Aaron. Not again. 'I'm not a trained psychiatrist. But at least she seems safe for the moment.'  
'I really don't want her to know about her dad and what he did...if this by some miracle goes to court and she finds out...' Aaron started to panic a little, taking in deep breaths.  
'Then she'd be on your side. She loves you already, anyone can see that. And we'll deal with Sandra, promise.’  
'Yeah, it must have come as a big shock to her.' Aaron conceded generously.  
Robert frowned. He wasn't so sure about that.  
….  
They walked further into the city near their hotel and found a cosy Italian. Rob ordered scallop spaghetti and Aaron had a pepperoni pizza. Aaron wanted to pay his half but Rob wouldn't let him and they drank 2 bottles of red between them.   
Back in the hotel, Aaron tipsily kissed him in bed and obviously wanted to do more but Rob took his hand away.  
'No.'  
'Why not?' Aaron pouted.   
'It's not that I don't want to – I really, really do. But all this shit you're going through …'  
'You mean Gordon? Fuck him. You going to let him ruin what we've got?'  
'No, of course not. It's just...remember how we started before? I want to do it right this time.'  
'Right.' Aaron huffed sullenly and turned his back to him. 'It ain't like we ain't done it before.'  
Rob reached round and kissed his throat. 'But we can do other things...' He reached down lower.  
Aaron started to moan and writhe beneath his touch.


End file.
